Little Bit of Devil in her Angel Eyes
by IlikeKnightsInBangedUpArmor
Summary: ...Formally 'It Ain't No Sin'... As if it isn't enough to worry about with my 'family' drama, keep my Godmother out of jail, & deal with unpredictable bikers, I have my own crazy issues. Besides, the guys are not all bad, just one in particular that I really can't stand. At least for now...
1. Call to Duty

_'Hey Babygirl, it's Gemma. I'm in a bit of a jam right now, actually a big jam. Think you can make it up to Pop's house for awhile? I'll be in touch sweetheart.'_

I listened to that voicemail at least five times before I jumped out of bed and packed as much stuff as I could fit in my duffel. "Damnit Gem," I muttered under my breath, pushing my disheveled curls out of my face while I stuffed clothes in my bag. Gemma never called for help, hell she's the one that told me to stay out of it and keep myself out of club business. That's fine with me though, despite the fact that I pretty much grew up around them, I've never been crazy about that whole scene.

Being Gemma Teller's Goddaughter, I was bound to grow up around monster bikes, loud engines, cylinders, and transmission parts. There are even pictures of Uncle John showing me and Jax how to put together a carburetor right before he died. Granted I was only like, five when he died so I don't really remember him that well. My mom was Gemma Teller's best friend, and I mean like known each other in diapers best friend. She pretty much raised me and my older brother with the help of the MC, cause dear old dad had better things to do than hang around us all the time. We didn't have much, but mom worked two jobs and I spent a whole lot of time with the Tellers. That means in addition to learning a whole lot about cars and motorcycles, I also had a mouth that could make a marine blush by the time I hit my teenage years.

"OW! Son of a Whore!" My knee banged right into that damn dresser drawer that never fully closed AGAIN! I hated that thing, I'm surprised I hadn't just set it on fire yet. "Stupid piece of shit," I seethed, kicking the drawer as if it would feel the same pain my poor throbbing knee felt from that hit. Before I hit the road and made my way all the way back home up North, I needed to shower. I still reeked from beer, gasoline and cigarettes from last nights races. Coming home at dawn while running on beer, coffee and four hours of sleep didn't exactly make showering a priority when finally getting home from the races.

Not that it mattered really, it's not like I had anyone to impress right now or anyone waiting for me. I used to have a parakeet, but it made so much damn noise at all hours of the day and night that I left the cage door open and let it free. Gemma's Rule Number Six for being single and living on my own- never invite a guy to your place unless you're ready to give up a place of solitude. Once I told Gemma my plans to go out on my own, she literally gave me a whole long list of rules to follow for safety's sake. When mom died, she became a bit protective of me you see, wouldn't even let me go to the club parties once I turned sixteen. "A young thing with tits like that around those guys is like a wall made from crack rocks at a rehab center," she would say to me while pointing her hand, usually holding a cigarette, at my chest. It might not have been a realistic demand, but being who my guardian was, it's not like she had anything to worry about anyways.

Personally, I called 'the girls' here a blessing. It's amazing the stuff that I got away with when it comes to guys cause of these things. At that point I didn't even remember when the last time was that I paid for my own drink, but as Spiderman said, 'with great power comes great responsibility', so I tried to not abuse the power. I had to say, being a self-proclaimed comic book nerd had it's benefits with those those handy little sayings.

Leave it to me though, to have picked up the love of comic books from my ex instead of his love for organizing. My room looked like Jackie Chan and Jet Li had a fight to the death in there, and my bathroom, despite that I cleaned it periodically, still had clothes and grooming products strewn around.

I wasn't going to waste all that time cleaning it though, if Gemma was calling me, that meant there was seriously something wrong. I knew it couldn't be about Aaron, she'd be calling every two minutes if that were the case. My brother's been in the service for almost eight years at that point, and Gemma had been a main contact since I moved around too much. When he became a Lieutenant in the Marine Corps, I get scheduled calls from him, but any emergency calls go straight to Gem. That meant it had gotta be something personal.

Oh crap, now I'm going to be worrying the entire drive. Hell I'm already obviously troubled as I vigorously slather conditioner all through my long blonde curls instead of taking my time and doing it gently like I normally do. Oh man what if it was Jax? No, he'd call me personally, just like he did when that whole thing with Abel and his ex junkie cumdumpster, or when Donna died. He's like another brother, hell he's more protective of me than Aaron was sometimes, so if it's serious he might want to keep me out of it. Hmm...

Damn, I hated not knowing!

That was probably why I'm in such a crazy rush to get clean and get on the road. I was pretty chill with most things, but when it came to Gemma or anyone else I considered family, it drove me out of my mind with worry. When I glanced at the shower clock to see that it took me only twenty minutes instead of my usual hour to get clean, I knew that I was close to a panicking state. My slight OCD about my hygiene and grooming routine was only surpassed either when I had something major on my mind or when I would be borderline overemotional.

Let's see, bag...check. Sunglasses... check. Money and wallet and all that... check. Netbook... check. I thought that was pretty much everything. It would take me probably a full day to get all the way up to Gemma's dad's house from Venice Beach, so I had a hell of a trip ahead of me. Not that I was bothered or anything, any excuse to drive my baby made it all worth it.

Ah now that's my most prized possession ever, and I do mean ever. My black 1970 Pontiac Firebird was my pride and joy. I worked her from a crappy original model muscle car that was ready for the dump into a fully restored beauty with all original parts. The 400 HO V8 engine, running to 400 horsepower at 5400rpm worked like a dream, the rumble coming from it shook my car whenever I drove, fueling the adrenaline that coursed through my veins while my body shuddered from the rush. Now if only I could get a guy to make me feel the same way, ha that would be a trip.

I might not be a motorcycle chick but I'm definitely a car girl. A muscle car girl to be more specific. I've been driving for years, since I was thirteen I think, because I begged Aaron to teach me and it was one of the few things that we did to bond. From the second that I slid into the driver's seat, I knew this was where I was meant to be. Three years later when I finally got my license, much to the horror of Jax, I became a speed demon, and later moved on to an adrenaline junkie. Nothing can compare to driving at 130mph on an open road, when my mind would go into this zone that was pure ecstasy and a sense of peace simultaneously coming over my entire being.

That high that I got from speed is what got me into the underground racing ring. Making money off doing something that I'm damn good at anyways and getting a constant fix on my need for adrenaline was just perfect for me. Unfortunately, it's not exactly a _The Fast and the Furious_ kind of lifestyle, being that racing and stealing are two separate things and I had yet to find a Vin Diesel type anywhere in the ring. It's a closed community, that's on a constant move. Usually people either race for someone or they go solo. When you race for someone, you didn't make as much cash, but you always get all car upgrades and repairs for free from your Head. Racing solo was my deal though, I don't answer to anyone. Granted, it meant my life was less than luxurious since most of my money went to keep my baby in great shape, but I didn't like owing anyone anything.

The racing ring wasn't all about money making and driving fast though, it had circles within circles, and I won't pretend that it wasn't stupid of me to be as caught up in it as I am. I made a lot of enemies back in the days when I started out, doing the old hustle routine on a couple of guys that would have gotten me killed if the Head didn't recognize me as Elizabeth McGee's little girl. Anyone who knew of my mom, knew about her connection to SAMCRO, and those were the last people anyone wanted any problems with. Even though associations with them in the past had saved my life, I hated it. I wanted to make my own name in the world without anyone's help. By the time I wet out on my own and went down to UC Berkeley for college, I had changed my last name to my mother's maiden name, Sidelsky.

Well it did the trick, that's for sure. I made a hell of a name for myself, one I'm damn proud of and worked my ass off to earn. Almost every racing ring on the West Coast knew me by name and reputation, which had it's perks. I refused to race for any Head, but I honed my driving skills to a level that many would say was beyond reckless. Gemma was furious with me when she found out, though I had to give myself credit for being able to keep it from her as long as I did. It wasn't too hard since she was caught up with club business and my grades were still really good and I was alive and healthy from our phone calls and meetups once every couple of months. It wasn't until Donna's funeral that she found that I've been using the money I made in racing to pay my way through school instead of working at a garage like I told everyone. Man did she EVER flip on me. Gemma Teller-Morrow was known for keeping her cool and for being one seriously tough lady, but I'm pretty sure the windows shook from her yelling.

Eventually it did blow over, and I had promised to keep her better informed, especially after my graduation when I was on my own and had nothing stopping me from completely immersing myself in the racing world. That was what I'd been doing since the last summer when I finally graduated college with a Bachelors in Sports Medicine and minor in psychology. I thought about it as I tossed my crap in the car and put my sunglasses on, and right then probably wasn't the best time for me to disappear off the grid from the racing world. I wanted to establish a place in some more of the inner circles, and use them for connections. With Gemma Teller-Morrow being partially responsible for my upbringing, I learned to manipulate like the best of them.

However, when Gemma asked you to do something, it's usually not smart to disregard her. Especially at that time, her face on a WANTED poster was everywhere and I knew some serious shit had gone down. I gave Jax a call as soon as I saw it, and he gave me the bare minimum, told me it was too dangerous to come up. Even if I was living my own life, family comes first, and I didn't know where I would have ended up if it wasn't for Gemma and her family taking me in and raising me the last of my teenage years.

Speeding down the road, I turned into a gas station to fill up my tank, taking the opportunity to give Gemma another call. "Hello Gem? Hey it's Anna... Yea I got your message, I'll be there by nightfall." I turned the phone off and finished pumping my car with gas before I began the long journey North at the call of a woman that I loved and respected more than anyone else.

**Authors Note: Okay so I've had this dilemma when it came to writing a story on a Television series that I never thought I could have, which resulted in me having like 100x more respect for those writers that managed to write stories centered around a television series that still allowed the characters to change properly to fit into their own storyline and the one being presented in an ongoing series.**

**That being said, I decided to write a story that will, no matter what, be AU but stick to the original plotline. I immensely respect and admire the writers that have the courage to branch out and write their own version of events or make up their own plotline for a television show, but being that this is an ongoing series that I absolutely love, I can't bring myself to erase that, as it would also erase the character development that occurred to all the cannons. What I have decided to do is write it from a different take, to see the events through the eyes of another and also see what happened in between all that time that was missed or passed over on the show.**

**It came to me when I wondered how it was that Gemma didn't have any close female friends despite her having that kind of personality where she would crave a female kinship with an equal, rather than act as a mentor to Tara for example. Off that idea I took a spin on the story, and attempt at explaining exactly why she had to go through so much traumatizing trials throughout the series where anyone else would have craved that close friend that understands you differently than a lover or a romantic interest. While adding a female friend would alter the development and change Gemma went through, explaining it away with a twist worked in my mind.**

**In addition, since this is my first time ever writing a story on this website not only for a television, but also in first person, reviews are welcome and requested, only because I am unsure as to whether or not I could develop a knack for this. My writing has changed drastically since my first story, and I appreciate honest and intelligent feedback and opinions.**

**If the reception of this chapter is decent, I'll put up my next one soon.**


	2. Even Angels Can Fall

Just like I predicted, I didn't get to Nate Madock's house until about midnight. I hadn't gone there as much as a kid, only a couple of times from what I remembered, but I knew the road well enough to be able to go without needing anything more than the address. Last I heard the old Reverend had serious dementia that was getting increasingly worse. I had to credit Gemma though, his house was a decent place for a hideout. The roaring engine of my Firebird tearing through the streets probably woke half the neighborhood, but I didn't give a shit at that point.

Turning off the engine, I literally climbed through the open window of the Firebird, minding my baby as my boots hit the pavement. I didn't even get a chance to reach the door, but it opened wide and there stood Gemma. I loved her like a second mother, hell even a mentor and it was amazing what it did to my entire being to see her standing there, looking stressed as hell but otherwise alright.

She smiled at me tiredly, her warm brown eyes lighting up just a little when she looked me over. "Oh babygirl, I missed you," she said, her mouth twisting into a genuinely happy smile. It was enough to make my own lips twist into a matching grin as I stepped forward to embrace her. "Gemma, you have no idea how crazy worried I've been over you the past couple of days. Damn mom really wasn't kidding when she said that trouble flocked to you huh?" I said hugging her tight, sighing in relief just to be near my family again and to see that she was, if anything at all, healthy and safe.

"Yea well, now you know how I feel every damn day thinking about you. It's bad enough I have my husband and son putting themselves in danger at every corner, now I gotta worry about you too. Get in here." Gemma pulled me inside and shut the door soundly.

"Jesus Christ Anna, it's a god damn shit storm in here right now. Look I'll explain everything in a bit, right now I need you're help with a foreign pest problem," she said walking me over to a door where I heard screaming and cursing coming from the other side. It was then that I noticed the gun in her hand, which made me wonder how the hell I missed it earlier.

Typical. I didn't know what to think or expect, but I braced myself and kept cool. Granted, it took a lot to phase me after living the life I did, but better safe than sorry. Going down the stairs to the basement, my eyes widened in surprise as I saw this little Hispanic looking chick handcuffed to a pipe coming out of the ceiling. Her arms were stretched far over her head and she was practically standing on her tip toes.

Despite the situation, I found myself choking on a laugh. I really had to learn to expect the unexpected when I visit family. "Um... wow. You have no idea the amount of scenarios that are going through my mind right now. What the hell happened?" I pushed a blonde curl that escaped from my ponytail out of my face, keeping my eyes trained on the girl.

"The little Guaty here decided to do some snooping for some extra pesos from our government by turning me in," Gemma said in an angry icy tone that I knew well. My eyes automatically narrowed in a glare, but my demeanor stayed as casual as ever. "Is that so? Curiousity killed the cat, and greed is a corruption of the soul. Tsk, tsk," my voice took on a low tone, a lilt of seduction and anger woven through every word as I looked over the woman who looked between Gemma and I, her eyes never straying far from the gun.

"Don't worry babygirl, we don't let that kinda thing go unpunished. Grab me that duct tape over there. Check in her bag too, it's right by the desk. I'm sure we'll find something that'll work as a new set of clothes." Gemma kept the gun trained on the woman while I did what she asked.

Tossing her the duct tape, I rummaged through the bag, there was nothing more than a hospital gown, a couple of rolls of gauze, pretty much basic first aid stuff plus some needles and what looked like vials of medicine. "Nothing much here other than basic hospital supplies. What are you planning on doing with her anyways?" I asked while glancing at her over my shoulder. The only thing I noticed was a contemplative look on Gemma's face that slowly twisted up into a smirk.

"Babygirl, go upstairs to my dad's room. In the bathroom there, in the closet there should be a bed pan. Bring it down for me would ya?"

"Kay," I said nonchalantly, rolling my eyes at the glare from the cuffed woman. Damn there was something seriously wrong about me to not be phased in the least. With the violence that came with underground racing and growing up with some exposure to SAMCRO, I pretty sure I'm desensitized to that kind of shit. That and I was damn pissed that this stupid bitch wanted to turn Gemma in."

"Oh, and Anna?" I stopped on the top of the steps before I opened the door, waiting for her to continue. "Just so you know, Tig's in there. I'm pretty sure he's got some pants on by now but no promises."

Despite myself, I couldn't help the smirk that came over my face. Oh man. It looked like I had some amusement coming my way. Without a word, I closed the door behind me and walked down the hall to the bedroom.

Leaning against the doorway, my eyes freely roamed over Tig, sitting in sweats and clutching his shoulder. I had no shame whatsoever taking in the shapely and toned back muscles, the smirk on my face widening. "I know I called you Superman for the whole 'faster than a speeding bullet' thing, but this is too much," I said from the doorway when I spotted the bullet hole in his shoulders. His head whipped around, making him wince in pain from the movement and causing the amused smirk on my face to widen.

"What the- Anna?" Tig's really pretty blue eyes went wide as he looked me up and down a couple of times, not even bothering to hide his gaze aimed right at my chest. "Holy shit. Look at you, you look like a girl! Decided to go for the lipstick look over butch. Looks good." He said with the trademark smirk he worse since I've known him.

"Eat dick asshole. Just cause I managed to resist sleeping with you, the Wonderful Walking STD, doesn't mean I'm into chicks," I scowled at him and gave him the finger.

"I feel the love Anna, really I do." The smirk on his face was enough to make my annoyance simmer down. It was a routine for us since I turned eighteen, and to be honest I loved our banters and insult exchange. "Get over here girl, lemme get a look at ya." Tig motioned me over with his hand and I complied, if only because the guy just got shot and he needs some kind of amusement.

A scoff escaped me as Tig's eyes looked me up and down, a low appreciative whistle escaped him. "Wow. You've done some serious growing up. What happened, finally discovered a Beauty Magazine?" The only response he got from me was the finger/glare combination. "No I'm serious. Who knew you were hiding this tight little body under all those tents you called shirts? God damn. You got your mom's tits too and her -"

"Tig!" The warning in my tone was evident as I tried seriously hard not to blush from both embarrassment and from the compliments hidden in there.

"What? I'm just telling it like it is kid." He finally looked up at my face with that trademark smirk I had an urge to slap off sometimes. His smile softened a bit, and I knew right away why. It's eerie how much I looked like my mom, we had almost exactly the same face, and I knew from Gemma that it was hard for many who loved her to look at me and not miss her. "You still got those same huge green eyes though, and I'm betting you still use them for evil, don't ya?" The smirk he wore only widened when he saw the mischievous grin appear on my face. "I fucking knew it. I knew you would be trouble from the start. Get over here and gimme my hug now." Tig opened his arms and used his fingers to beckon me to him, a wicked grin on his face. "C'mon you know ya want to. Can't move you know, Doctor's orders."

"Bull, you're just a horny ass that won't miss an opportunity to touch a girl," I said with an expectant look on my face. Tig and I had possibly the strangest relationship ever. Yea he knew me since I was a kid, but when I was around fifteen and grew out of my awkward stage, he started calling me 'Jailbait' affectionately, if that's even possible. Then when I turned eighteen, oh forget about it. At that point, my outgoing and shameless nature fit right into a routine we made that quickly turned to a conversation full of sexual innuendos. He got a kick out of the fact that I'm pretty shameless about having a dirty mind and never found any reason to hide it.

"My ass wouldn't be the part I'd call 'horny' Dollface," he added with a lewd grin. Perv.

"I suspect the part you're referring to is quite a prick, and you can take that however you want to love." I winked at him with my own signature mischievous smirk. Damn it's no wonder girls go nuts for Tig though, those eyes were like an instant shot of tequila to the the brain. I didn't even like light eyes all that much, but I admitted that times like now made it painfully obvious why Tig had women falling all over themselves for him.

I definitely knew that I was staring way too much when the smirk on his face became smug rather than appreciative. "Like something you see?" The tone in his voice was enough to make me shake my head and go back to digging through the little bathroom closet.

"Actually, yea. Too bad I'm not in the mood to get the clap or whatever you got now." I missed the scowl that came across his face as my face had scrunched up in concentration, looking for the bedpan Gemma was talking about. "So you wanna tell me what the fuck happened? Like why you got shot, and why you guys didn't cover your asses with the little nurse?"

I heard a sigh escape from Tig, and though I couldn't see him I could picture the look on his face easily. He gave that starting point growing up on my knowledge on cars and sort of planted that seed for me to end up where I was then. While other kids that were my age would spend the days going to football games and hanging out at the movies, I was the quirky little tomboy that spent every waking moment learning how everything possible about cars, the different models and how parts can be made compatible to just about any model. Tig was probably annoyed by me hanging around so much, but he never said anything to me about it. Then again, I had made efforts to not get in the way so Tig and the others guys that would work on the cars wouldn't find any excuse to kick me out or stop teaching me.

"The bullet is cause Nate caught me with the nurse and shot me cause- fuck off it's not funny!" He growled when I stopped my search for the bedpan and burst into laughter. I couldn't help it, just the way he said it and the fact that I really should had expected something like that to happen to Tig sent me over the edge. "Oh come on," I attempted to say through my laughter. "Guy caught you plowing his nurse and shot you for it, and I'm expected not to laugh? Right."

It took me about a minute more to compose myself, and when I finally did the first thing I saw was Tig's scowl at my outburst. "Oh don't be like that. Look I'm done, I promise. See look totally serious. Look at my serious face." I made the most solemn face I could muster, and it was pretty damn convincing if I do say so myself. "Why the hell would Nate shoot you for that? Isn't he total anti-violence?" I asked, resuming my search for the bedpan in a seriously disorganized closet. And I thought I was bad.

"Nate thought I was with Rose."

That made me freeze in place, go figure just as I found the damn bedpan. "Shit. I didn't realize it got this bad. Aw man poor Gem," I said softly, swallowing hard. I didn't know Nate all that well growing up, the only reason I knew where he lived was because my mom's parents lived like five minutes away. It had to be killing her to see her father slowly dying in front of her.

It took a small effort to stop myself from getting nostalgic and emotional, reigning my emotions in and literally shaking myself out of it. I pulled the bed pan out of the mess in the closet and straightened up, squaring my shoulders back as I walked back into the bedroom. "I'm gonna go give this to Gemma. You need anything? Wait! Lemme rephrase- do you need anything that doesn't involve me getting naked and making you very happy." The cheeky smirk came back on my face at my attempt to lighten the mood. Anything that heavy made me uncomfortable, hell let's be honest, getting emotional in general was tough for me. Not a surprising trait for a girl that grew up around a bunch of macho 'men don't cry they smash' guys.

The sly grin was back on Tig's face and I knew that I at least got him in a better mood. "That being the case, least you can do is try and score up some more painkillers for me. I finished the last couple of pills in a vicodin bottle, but there gotta be more around here."

"Drugs would be the next thing you ask for huh? No worries, I'll finish up with Gemma and see if it's possible to dig something up." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I realize I probably should take an HIV test after that, but what can I say, I missed your man whore self- HEY!" Tig had promptly responded to my comment by smacking my butt. "You ass. No pun intended." A small giggle escaped me despite my attempted at being coy. "So you know, I'm getting you back for that."

"Looking forward to it. Now go do your woman stuff or whatever." Nevermind, nice eyes or not, he's a pain in the ass, literally at that particular moment and I would rather straighten my curls than touch him... okay that was a lie, I loved my curls too much to risk ruining them like other bimbos did for no reason. True it's only hair, but that was like claiming my car was only a car, which is total bull.

I made my way back to Gemma, but not before giving Tig the finger that of course only widened his smirk. Cheeky bastard.

By the time I got back downstairs, the nurse was bound to chair and in a hospital gown. Gemma was just finishing binding her hands when she looked over at me as I made my way down the stairs. "Bout time you got here. Tig get to ya?" She raised a knowing eyebrow at me, holding her hand out for the bed pan.

Before I could come up with a witty retort, the tied up chick started yelling. "You're just gonna leave me here? I'm gonna have to move eventually you crazy psycho bitch!"

"For fucks sake," I muttered in a low voice and stepped back to allow Gemma to handle it. Handle it she did, and as always it made my lips twist into a smirk.

Casually as ever, Gemma walked behind her and tightened the bandanna she used to cover her eyes. "You can try and move all you want, I ain't gonna stop you. If you make the chair fall over, you're staying down there. Might make going to the bathroom a bit awkward though." She patted her head a little too hard before she made her way over for me, nodding with her head to go upstairs. "Sleep tight, don't let the roaches bite," Gemma said as her words of parting, ushering me up the stairs and shutting off the lights.

Locking the door behind her carefully, I took the opportunity to study my Godmother, cringing almost as I finally took in her features. I'd been in the dark when it came to the events in the club from the past couple of months, but just looking at her then, the lines that became even more prominent on her face and a more jaded and haunted expression on her face told me that whatever went on wasn't pretty.

"I don't look that bad do I?" Gemma's teasing voice shook me out of me reverie, making me smile. "Naaaa, you're still one hot lady, and again you're gonna have a ragamuffin tomboy tagging along after you for a couple of days to taint your image," I shot back and with the laugh from Gem that followed, I felt that warmth that came with being back at home where my level of comfort and safety enveloped me like a warm blanket.

"What ragamuffin? I don't see one around." She put an arm around me in a rare display of affection and squeezed my shoulder. "When I opened the door for you, for a second I thought you were Beth." Ah she was referring to my mom again. Her death was still fresh enough for a heavy feeling of sorrow falling over the mood whenever she was mentioned. "You finally decided on wearing clothes that fit ya instead of clothes that looked like they swallowed you. Makes a big difference, you finally look your age for one and finally showing off your-."

"Alright already! Christ, I get it, wearing Aaron's shirts and band shirts with old ripped jeans and sneakers doesn't work for me," I grumbled with a scowl on my face. It gets really tiring really quick when hearing how much better you look compared to before so many times with little spacing between them.

Gemma just smirked and nudged me, looking like she was about to say something before stopping, the expression on her face one of uncertainty while she stared at something behind me. "Dad?" I whipped my head around and couldn't keep my eyes from widening when I saw the old Reverend. He was staring right at me with a far away look in his eyes. "Beth? Is that you darling? Does your momma know you're over here?"

Great, another person who looked at me as my mom. By that point I was seriously tempted to just shave my head or stuff myself with fast food to get really fat, just so I could stop hearing that.

"No Daddy, Beth died remember?" I heard Gemma's steady and gentle voice falter just slightly when she said that. "This is Anna, Beth's little girl. Remember, you used to teach her at Sunday School."

I smiled sweetly, taking in the older man in front of me. "Hello Reverend Madock. It's great to see you again." For the life of me, I couldn't be upset with this man. He had such a sweet and gentle demeanor and right then my heart broke for him. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to forget everything in your life, to have to relive the knowledge that what you thought was going on was all wrong. It made my smile tone down even further into a gentle one while I tried to keep strong for Gemma's sake.

Nate peered at me carefully, as if trying to decide if I was really who Gemma said I was and trying to remember. Something probably clicked in his head though, because after a moment he gave me a pleasant smile. "Anna! Yes I remember you! You look beautiful!"

That made it impossible not to grin, and I stepped up to give him a gentle hug. "Great to see you again Sir. Looking better than ever, and they say Sean Connery is the best looking older man alive," I said with a wink, making Gemma snort, and I imagine roll her eyes as well while Nate just smiled as if he wasn't sure what I was referring to but accepted it anyways.

"Dad, come on let me put you back to bed, it's pretty late," Gemma said stepping forward to take her dad's arm. Looking over at me, she motioned her head toward the bedroom down the hall and I got the message right away. "Good Night Reverend Madock," I said politely, leaving Gem to take care of her father while I went to look in on Tig.

Before I went over to check on him though, I stopped by at the main bathroom in the hall and opened up the medicine cabinet. Holy Crap, it was like a pharmacy in there! There were prescription pill bottles of lining the shelves, painkillers, antibiotics, the works really. Scanning the prescription bottles, I picked up a nearly full bottle of 500mg Percocet. I closed the cabinet with a satisfied smile on my face and made my way back to Tig.

"If this stuff doesn't kill the pain, you're shit out of luck. It's five hundred milligrams." I tossed him the bottle when I walked into the bedroom. Grabbing his glass of water by the bed table, I handed it to him so he could take the pills.

"Thanks Dollface. Nate doing alright?" Tig said taking two of the pills and downing them with the water. I sat on the bed next to him and shrugged, wringing my hands on my lap. "I don't know if he's remembered what happened yet. I didn't... expect him to be so bad off." I swallowed back any of the emotion that I was feeling. Tig shook his head, letting out a loud sigh,. "Really makes you think huh?"

"Yeah..." I trailed off, the both of us sitting there in silence, faintly hearing the sound of Gemma's voice talking to her father several doors down. "Tig..." He looked over at me, scrutinizing me the way he always did with people when he was trying to figure out their intentions. "What happened the past couple of months? I know some bad stuff happened, and I appreciate you guys wanting to keep me away from it, but it's not working out very well since I'm here anyways."

I bit my lip when Tig looked away from me and avoided my eyes, a feeling of dread instantly filling my gut. "Nothing's wrong, don't worry about it, everything's gonna be-"

"Bull-FUCKING-shit Tig. Do I look that god damn stupid to you?" I interrupted, my short temper coming out at the frustration I'd been feeling at not knowing. "I'm not a fucking croweater, you can't just pat me on the head and tell me it's nothing or that it's club business." It was a struggle to keep myself from yelling since I didn't want Gemma to hear me. "I know something's wrong, hell there's always something wrong but I don't get into it unless I know it's really bad. Why isn't Clay and Jax here with Gem? Why didn't you guys want me to come down right when I called? And why the hell has Jax been lying to me, and don't you dare tell me he hasn't been. I know him better than that, he's the one who taught me to pick and choose my words when I lie."

I found myself in a glaring contest with Tig, his piercing blue eyes bore into me the way, but without the normal malice present like when he looked at people he hated. The air was thick with tension, but I didn't falter my glare or stance. Seeing Gemma just then, the haggard and plain out tired appearance of a woman who a year ago was still going with Clay on all night rides and had the energy to cook an enormous dinner the next night told me that whatever had been going on was far worse than I thought. I lost my own mother, and I would be damned if I was going to stand by and watch Gemma and the rest of my surrogate family suffer.

It had to have been a couple of minutes before Tig broke my gaze and sighed, running a hand in frustration through his hair. "Anna... look I ain't gonna argue with you, it's not fair that you're in the dark, hell I hear Jax giving you shit all the time when you withhold stuff from him. Now ain't the time for me to tell you though." My glare hardened as I stared at him expectantly. He must be seriously high from the painkillers if he thought I would leave it at that.

Before I could open my mouth to retort, Tig held up his hand to silence me when he looked over at me. "I'm gonna give Jax a call tomorrow, tell him that it ain't fair to keep you in the dark. He says no then I'll remind him you're now aiding a fugitive, and that should be enough. Till then though, sit tight. Can you do that for me?" His voice was sincere, and I had known him long enough to know when he was being genuine and when he was trying to manipulate someone.

Even though I wanted to know really badly just to ease the worry I felt, I found myself nodding to his request, letting out a breath and casting my eyes down. "Okay." What more could I say? Tig looked tired and stressed, and I couldn't help feeling bad for him.

I heard Tig sigh again, and the next thing I knew he was tugging my arm gently. "C'mere Dollface." Without a word, I scooted over to him and allowed him to wrap his good arm around my shoulder in comfort. My head rested on his shoulder and I allowed myself to relax into him, that feeling of warmth from being at home returned.

We stayed like that in silence for several minutes, his hands rubbing my shoulder absentmindedly. I was the first to break the silence then, opening my eyes that closed from the warmth of his hold. "Things are really bad aren't they?" I asked in a quiet voice, almost a whisper but not quite.

"You don't know the half of it babygirl." I looked up from Tig's shoulder to see Gemma standing in the doorway, looking at the two of us on the bed. She looked so sad, and so tired. "Come on, me and you are gonna talk. Tig, get some sleep Tara should be here tomorrow."

Tig nodded, already looking tired and gave my shoulder a final squeeze. I leaned over to kiss his cheek when I stood up, smiling softly at him and holding back a giggle since it looked like the pills were kicking in by his dazed and tired look. He nodded at me and carefully moved to lay down in the bed. I guess Gemma figured he'd be better off here without being moved, which made sense.

Closing the door behind me, I followed Gemma into the kitchen in silence, my heart beating a little harder in anticipation for what she would say. For awhile there was only silence, Gemma taking out a bottle of wine and filling two glasses with it. She took the wine glasses and motioned for me to follow her to the living room. "We're gonna need these if I'm going to fill you in. I'm sorry babygirl, I should have told you about it sooner."

I sat down next to her on the couch and took a sip of the wine she gave me, studying Gemma carefully. She took a long swallow of the wine and took a deep breath. She told me everything then, everything that happened since Donna's death, and some of the stuff before that. I sat there in quiet shock as she told me about Zobelle and the White Supremacists, the problems that were going on between Jax and Clay, and the issues within the club that I knew I wouldn't be privy to had the situation not been so serious. When she told me what Zobelle had those White Supremacist shitheads do to her... I couldn't describe the feeling that came over me then. It was a mix of emotions that had me both horrified and angered, an intense feeling of hate coming over me for a flash at the thought of Gemma going through that. It was all I could do to not cry for her and what she had to endure.

The wine relaxed her enough to go into details that were pretty horrific about everything. She told me how that cuntbag Stahl set her up, forcing her to go on the run. By the time she told me everything, I felt sick. My wine glass was half empty, and I stared at it with glassy eyes fighting to take control of my emotions to not upset Gemma further.

"Babygirl? Are you alright?" Gem asked in a gentle tone. Swallowing hard and mustering up the ability to keep my tone steady, I answered her in a quiet tone. "Why didn't you call me? Gemma, you shouldn't have had to be alone after... that. I would have come down, I could have done something. You should never have had to wait that long to..." I didn't trust myself to speak, perhaps the shock of everything I was just told had yet to settle and was at that point where hysteria was likely to occur. There was no way in hell I would cry, not now and not if I could help it. I had a reputation to protect, and didn't feel like ruining it by bawling like a baby and letting Gemma think I couldn't handle it.

"Oh Anna," She reached out and gave me a hug. "I wanted you there so badly, but you have no idea how much it made me feel better just to hear your voice on the phone or see those pictures you would email me. I couldn't ruin that for you babygirl, and hell I didn't want to. Beth had gone through so much crap in college cause of the club, and I don't want the same to happen to you. Besides..." She stroked my curls softly in such a familiar way that it calmed me gradually. "I hate to admit it, but it was a blessing in disguise. Everything is supposed to happen for a reason, and with the hate that was brewing between my son and my husband, well when I told them what happened was what made them cut the bullshit. It gave them a reason to unite against something, and probably saved my family."

It was times like then that I realized how strong this woman was and how lucky I was to have her in my life. She had something horrible happen to her that would have broken anyone else, but she overcame it for the sake of her family. My mom used to always tell me that Gemma was one of the strongest people she knew and that I would be smart to take a lesson from her. I knew she was strong, that she was one bad ass lady, but now I looked at her strength differently. She was the rock for her family, for the club, and for me. Even if it hurt her, she put others ahead of herself which honestly could only be called selfless. Yeah she was no angel, and I knew she would be a very dangerous enemy, but she had a heart filled with so much love that it could humble anyone. I hugged her tight, getting reassurance on my own, though I'm not really sure for what exactly.

We stayed up really late and talked, something I had a feeling Gemma hadn't done with anyone since everything happened. She wasn't much for spreading her business, but I knew that being her best friend's daughter, I was an exception and it was probably why she called me up to see her. I hated thinking that the only reason she opened up to me like this was because I reminded her of my mom and how I remembered the two of them talking till the early morning when they had their 'ladies weekends' together. I couldn't complain though, I'm glad she told me, because it would help me prepare for anything whatever might happen, since there was no way I was leaving my only family at that point in time. I'd dare them to make me leave, because that would result in an epic failure.

**Author's Note: **

**Thank you so much to all those who reviewed and subscribed to my story. I'm open to all feedback and will hopefully update by the weekend. Let me know how I'm doing so far, and I'm also open to answering any questions and all that fun stuff. **

**Also I apologize for the curses if it bothers anyone, but realistically most people in a biker gang would have a pretty dirty vocabulary so I'm going with that.**

**Reviews are happiness. Just sayin' ;-)**


	3. Memories and Lack of them

It was almost noon when I finally woke up after falling in a dead sleep on the couch, and go figure the sound of a car pulling up was what woke me. I blinked open my eyes, the smell of coffee filling my nose as I woke myself up gradually to rejoin the living. "Gemma? Someone just pulled up," I called in a groggy voice as I sat up on the couch. The blanket that someone covered me with fell to the side as I stretched and cracked my joints. Gemma's boots echoed across the floor and I heard the door open. "Bout time you got here," I heard her say and then heard another voice that took me a second to place. "I got stuck in traffic, where is he?"

"Oh shit," I said standing up and grinning when Gemma and Tara stopped to look over at me. "Tara! This is starting to feel like some 'Full House' family reunion with all the hugging I've been doing." I hugged her hard with a big grin on my face, pulling away in delight to see her smiling back.

"Anna! I didn't know you would be here! Did Gemma or Jax call you...?" Tara looked between Gemma and I for one of us to answer her unspoken question. "I called her. Tig pointed out that if Stahl decided to dig into my childhood, she'd find out about her. Plus I missed her crazy butt," Gemma said winking at me. It looked like the talk last night did her loads of good, and I was glad. Granted, I could barely sleep as a result and was still deciding whether or not I'd flip on Jax when I saw them, but I was happy that at least Gemma was feeling better.

"Yeah you know me Tara, can't stay away from the rush of danger. Yesterday I actually let a half-naked high Tig touch me. Talk about danger, I'm surprised I'm not pregnant, but I should still get tested," I said loudly with a big smirk on my face when I noticed the bedroom door was open.

"Fuck off Anna!" a very disgruntled and unhappy yell came from the bedroom. The smirk on my face widened and I looked at Tara as innocently as I could manage. "He's a regular Mary Sunshine, that one." I hated the constant tension that was ever present since I got there, and what better way to ease it than some dry wit?

Even though I know Tara's sense of humor and normally something like that would have made her laugh, all she did was have a tiny little smile on her face. At least Gemma laughed, but I guess I could assume that Tara was just tired. When I really looked at her again though, she had similar changes to her features like Gemma did. Both of them had always looked fairly young for their age yet for the first time it showed on their faces that they have done and seen too much all at once. Especially Tara, because that girl was probably still finding her exact niche with balancing the club and her life.

Biting my lip, I looked over at Gemma, silently communicating with her on what I missed. "I better go and check him out then. He'll be harder to deal with if he stays in constant pain," Tara said throwing a look at both of us, though I had no clue what it meant. That unnerved me, I didn't like not being able to get a good read on people.

In the life I led as an independent racer in the underground, I was constantly on my guard. The assumption was that everyone was out to get you and the key was to figure them out before they got that chance. It was a skill that I had developed even as a kid, where I analyzed people at first sight and decided my actions and comfort around them. My mom used to beat it into my head that I should always be on guard with people, especially with the amount of enemies she made through her own involvement with the Sons. When I was little, most of my time was spent observing people, especially when I first met them. I had an odd shyness about me then, where when meeting knew people I would observed them quietly for an unknown amount of time until out of nowhere I acted like the hyper little child I was back then. It was a skill I found essential in life particular since I entered the racing world. I was good at reading people and how they reacted toward one another, though the one thing I always failed at was how people reacted in terms of myself, hence my really shitty luck with boyfriends.

"She okay?" I asked Gemma quietly, keeping my eyes on Tara's retreating back until she disappeared into the bedroom. "It's called stress babygirl, you're about to get a good dose of it yourself." Gemma looked over at me with a knowing look, one I could only interpret to be a warning of what was to come. "I already got a strong prescription on that, and I wouldn't mind missing a dose once in awhile," I grumbled pushing my messy curls out of my face, not missing Gemma rolling her eyes at me. "Smartass. I almost for got what a little pain in the ass you could be." I knew her enough to know that she said it affectionately and grinned at her.

"I could always leave ya know, take my pain-in-the-ass self to hang out with some other First Lady in another MC." I knew I was pushing it, but I also knew I could get away with it when it came to Gemma, and I was right. She rolled her eyes again and scoffed, glancing at me up and down briefly. "Go shower, and quit stickin' forks in electric sockets would you?" Gemma raised her eyebrows making my mouth drop open in astonishment. "Evil!" I pointed at her, watching her shake her head and slink away as cool and graceful as a large jungle cat.

When I reached up to touch my hair, I cringed when I felt the dry texture of my curls. I probably did look like I got electrocuted since I was too distracted to go through my normal shower routine. It was an odd thing with me when it came to my hair, it was my one constant beauty since I was little. Even when I had that awkward ugly duckling stage where I grew up but not out and still had that baby fat left over in my face, plus acne and all that other horrid stuff that came with puberty, my hair was always a mass of wild curls. Even to this day, I rarely wore any other makeup other than mascara and I just recently started dressing more like a chick, I still meticulously took care of my hair. If looking at it in psychological terms, it was possible that I grew an attachment to the one feature that always received positive attention, but I had no plans to psychoanalyze. All I knew was that mass amounts of conditioner with a bit of coconut oil kept my hair soft, shiny and manageable. I blatantly refused to be like those bimbos that put so much gel in their hair it felt and looked plastic, hence how my obsessive routine came into play in my daily life.

The grumbling complaints I muttered to myself when I headed toward the bathroom with a change of clothes and my shower stuff turned into a giggle when I heard Tig bitching about the pain to Tara. He was usually a very cooperative patient, though I imagined with the painkillers wearing off he was in less than an ideal mood. It amazed me how simple things like Tig's insults and Gemma's smooth and cool manner she mastered in and ingrained within her nature made me realize how much I really missed being away from all of them. When my mom died, it changed everyone, but I was probably affected more than people gave me credit. Mom and I were really close, and I mean really close. Yeah we were both hot-headed and argued constantly, but mom was the best. She never tried to change my tastes or make me into some girly girl that played with barbies. Mom loved me for who I was, and she supported me in everything. She gave the best advice, and oh man she had the entire club wrapped around her finger. Whereas Gemma had that queenly, conniving air about her, my mom radiated a playful nature full of mischief that drew everyone to her.

I remembered watching her interact with some of the guys, Big Otto and Piney were totally smitten by her, and Tig I remember specifically had a gigantic soft spot for my mom. For my birthday one year, not long after Uncle John was killed, I had told her that everyone was so sad still and I didn't want a party with everyone being sad. Well, it hadn't sat well with my mom that her daughter, not even four years old, chose to give up a birthday party out of the sadness of everyone else. Before I knew it, Mom had organized a party with the help of some of the other women at the club and made everyone come. To lighten the mood and make them enjoy themselves, she got all the guys shitfaced on some kind of shots that were popular in Poland in my Grandpa's day and they all sang a mix of 'Happy Birthday' and 'American Pie' to me as I blew out my candles. Mom was the one that could force them to enjoy themselves, and hell she was even the reason why most of them didn't let the life they led get to them so badly.

Aaron and I both worshiped her, she was all we had for a long time. I barely remembered my dad, he left right after Uncle John died and frankly, I didn't care to bother with him. He was a coward that abandoned us and the jokes on him because we didn't need him. Mom and the club raised us and no others could have done a better job. Mom was just an amazing lady, and I still haven't forgiven God for taking her away.

I had refused to cry at her funeral, refused to let my guard down for anyone to see me when I was vulnerable. At fourteen, I was as stubborn as they came, and wanted desperately to be the tough one like Gemma and my mom. I cried when I was alone, but I had to stay strong for everyone else and kept up an act that I was back on it, everyone probably knew I was messed up by it. That was when my reckless stage had started, my need to seek some kind of a thrill to get myself away from the pain. It was then when I discovered the dangerous addition to adrenaline when I took more and more risks with my driving. Damn I was stupid, I was stupid and extremely lucky that I'm still alive after more near death experiences than I'd like to count.

It also explained why I chose to go to college a good distance away. Anything that reminded me of my mom was too much, and I needed to get away to at least feel some sense of peace. I visited a few times yea, but I barely stuck around for more than a couple of hours, and the last time that I saw most of SAMCRO at once was at Donna's funeral. Even then, I only stayed for the mass and the burial. It had been too painful to stick around, it still hurt to be here, especially with everyone saying how much I looked like my mom. Don't get me wrong, for them to say that is a huge compliment, my mom was gorgeous. I had the same curls as her, except she had naturally platinum blonde hair unlike my dirty blonde, and the same shape eyes, though hers were gray and mine are green. My mom had that open and gentle nature that I could never even try to have though, and her smile was contagious.

You'd have thought that I loved hearing about our similarities, and in a sense I did love it. The only problem was that it was a constant reminder of how she's not there and I was there. It bothered me that they all would never look at me and see just me, but always my mom. It hurt in a way, not out of resentment so much as the constant feeling of being used to replace the loss of my mom's presence in their lives. I knew it was probably a really stupid and irrational insecurity and fear, but hey, I was only took a whole hour of me lost in my thoughts while I went through my proper routine with my hair. I felt tons better about my appearance when I finished, and by the time I walked out of the bathroom dressed in my usual jeans and fitted t-shirt combo with my wet hair tied back, the silence told me that Tig was probably doing a lot better too. After I stuffed my things in my bag, I couldn't help but take a little peak at him.

"I'm guessing she either dopped you up with painkillers or threatened to sever your manhood to get you to shut up," I said from the doorway, a big smirk on my face. Tig glancing over at me with raised eyebrows and an annoyed look on his face pushed me to giggle more so than the small smile that formed on Tara's lips. "You already cut my heart out, I need the painkillers to cope," he retorted in a mockingly exaggerated voice, though his voice was much calmer and at ease than it was earlier. "Lovely Tig, I don't know how I've been able to resist that charm of yours."

Tara was shaking her head as she finished up cleaning his wound. "I forgot how you two are around each other." Her dark eyes that I've always been insanely jealous of peered over at me. "It's been too long Anna, I'm glad you're here." I had to smile at the sincerity of her words while I watched her clean the bullet hole on Tig's shoulder. "Oh you're gonna be fine. There's no bone, or muscle damage."

"Thanks Doc. Hey," Tig's voice lost that playfulness he always had with me as he looked back at Tara. "I'm sorry for pulling you away from your work." Tara didn't look like it bothered her one bit, I could even tell that from her tone when she assured him it was okay. Tig looked back over at me and pointed at the tall glass of water on top of the dresser. "Hand that over, would ya Dollface." He turned back to Tara before I passed him the glass. "How's uh," He glanced at me for a moment when he hesitated briefly before he went on speaking. "Jax holdin' up?"

My eyes narrowed in suspicion at that statement, especially when Tara answered with how Jax probably told the other guys more than he told her. I knew I was far from an expert in terms of relationships, but when your significant other, particularly the guy since most guys told more intimate details to their girls and acted tough and ultramasculine around other guys didn't tell their girl what was bothering them, there was something seriously wrong. I looked between the two of them, the gears in my head working out the subtext of their conversation.

My train of thought was interrupted before I could ask them anything by Gemma calling for her father. "Oh boy. That's not good," I muttered, exchanging a glance with Tig. "What?" he said to Gemma when she came to our doorway, looking rather frantic. "Have you seen Nate, he's not in his room." She glanced around at each of us with a hand pulling her hair in frustration. "No, not since this morning," Tara said, looking obviously worried.

"Sorry Gem, I haven't seen him since last night." Gemma had a wide eyed look on her face. "He's gone. So is the hunting rifle." Her words made a look of horror come across my face at the thought of Nate with his severe dementia wandering around town with a rifle. "Oh shit, you know I did hear a car, about twenty minutes ago," Tig said with a seriously concerned look on his face. "Shit," I cursed as Gemma and Tara rushed outside.

I looked over at Tig and ran a hand through my damp locks in frustration. "This is not good. Like really not good. This could end badly if he forgets himself with a rifle in his hand and has another moment like he did yesterday." Tig nodded in agreement with me and reached over to grab the pain killers. "I'll go out and look for him as soon as these kick in like-"

"Forget it," I said interrupting him and placing my hand on his shoulder. "I'll take my car and drive around, see if I find his car anywhere. You stay here and find all the numbers of his friends and get Gemma to tell you places he used to go back in his younger days."

A soft smirk came over Tig's face and he put a hand up to my hip, our little game falling into play again and making me arch an eyebrow. "Taking care of the man in your life huh? You're a real model lady, Dollface." I leaned down to bring my face closer to his and used my index finger to lightly lift his chin, my lips quirked in an audacious smirk. "I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing," I purred in my best Mae West imitation and used that same finger to lightly tap his lips.

He grinned really widely and laughed as I pulled away and out of his reach, shaking his head at me. I sent him a grin before I left the room, though I did start to wonder if the flirting and games would lead to dangerous and uncomfortable territory. I had to watch myself though, since I couldn't really be called a kid anymore and the idea of Tig pursing it as something more than a game was not pleasant. I loved the guy, but I knew too much about where he'd been and I just couldn't do that. I'd never been into casual hookups, and it's _Tig. _

I had realized long ago, mainly when Gemma brought up how she didn't want me to end up as a croweater or something, that I could never have any sort of romantic relationships with anyone in the club. Even those that weren't like Tig who got more ass than a public toilet seat, I would be a _terrible_ Old Lady. I decided to hold out for Vin Diesel. Or Johnny Depp, I'm not picky.

Revving up the engine of my car, I pulled out of the drive way and began to drive around town, looking for any sign of the Cadillac and Nate. I checked all the big parts of town, including the church. Nate and his car were nowhere to be found, and I made sure that I drove around twice. In the end I went to the cemetery, thinking maybe he had a moment of clarity or something. Parking the car, I walked around the large cemetery for awhile. I passed my grandparents' grave on my walk, stopping for a moment to pay my respects. My grandparents were very sweet people, old school Polish Immigrants that thought the world of me. They never approved of my mom's life choices and I knew there was a huge amount of animosity between them and Gemma, but the were good people. When my dad walked out on my mom, my brother, and I, they helped my mom take care of us and gave her money so we would never want for anything. My grandmother wanted to turn me into a girly girl from the start, paying for all the books that I practically swallowed in exchange for making me take ballet lessons. Those were seriously the worst eight years of my life, but it had totally been worth it.

Few people were in the cemetery that afternoon, and I had walked down the main path, and veered off only to go on top of some of the hills to make sure I didn't miss him. I had always liked cemeteries, ever since I was a little kid. Yep, I was one of those special one, the one who used to find the strangest ways to stay amused. Actually, around the time I was forced to take dance lessons, I would sometimes skip them if my grandmother wasn't there to watch me and instead go to the nearby cemetery with whatever book that I had chosen to read for the day. I'd settle myself either in between tombstones, on a memorial bench, or one of those memorial trees that people planted for their loved ones and just read. It was so peaceful, and I had only sat quietly and enjoyed the solitude. I hadn't done that since my mom died, understandably so.

After circling the cemetery twice, it was painfully obvious that Nate wasn't there. I stopped by his wife's grave as well to check on him and paid my respects. There was little more than I could do at that point beyond going back and hoping for the best. Even as I drove through town, I managed to keep my speed relatively slow, just to keep my eyes out in case I missed him. Pulling up to the house, I locked up my car and walked inside, finding Gemma and Tig in the kitchen and dining room area, with Tig sitting in a chair, fully dressed and Gemma was pacing back and forth, just finishing a conversation on the phone. "He's not at the church," she said, hand in her hair looking ready to rip it out in frustration.

I sighed from the doorway, both of them look over at me as I shook my head. "I drove all over town at least twice, even made a stop at the cemetery. I couldn't think of where else to look, I'm sorry Gem." I bit my lip at the pained look on her face, looking away when I heard the front door open again. Tara walked in, looking as defeated as I felt. "I went up and down every street, check the mini-mart, the gas station, there's no sign of him," she said looking over at me. "No luck either?" I gave a small shake of my head before I went back to see what Gemma would do.

Tig sighed from next to me, hand rubbing his jaw while he still held the little note pad. "Tried callin' a few of his friends, there's nothing," he said somberly making Gemma let out a loud sigh in frustration. "Can't believe I just let him drive away." She really needed to stop blaming herself. I'd known her my entire life but I never remembered her looking as stressed and worn as I did then. I feared on how much more she could take before she cracked.

"Jesus how could I do that?" Her tone made me hold back a wince. "Come on Gem, Nate's like you in the that way, he wants to go somewhere then he will," I said in a gentle tone to try and calm her down. "All the more reason for me to have kept a better eye on him!" Gemma sighed angrily and I watched her hands ball out into fists. Oh man this won't be good. "Stupid bitch!" Her tone was laced in frustration and anger.

I loved Tara to death, but I seriously didn't care for the next words that came out of her mouth. "You have her tied up in a basement, you can't expect her to be cooperative-" "I'm not talking about her!" Gemma yelled to cut off whatever Tara might have said next. Without warning, she picked up the phone book with a grunt and flung it at the glass display case, the sound of the glass shattering making both Tara and I wince, though Tig didn't seem too phased. No one said a word when Gemma stormed off in anger, though I heard Tara let out an audible breath she'd probably been holding.

"Shit," I muttered with a sigh, pushing some stray curls out of my face. "I'll go talk to her in a bit, she needs to calm down." I swallowed hard and walked over to the kitchen, going right to the kettle and filling it with water. It was a habit that I got from my mom and I'm assuming mom got it from grandmother that whenever someone was upset, we made tea. "If he's not home in a couple of hours, I'll go out on the town and look for him again, maybe ask around and just identify myself as my grandparents daughter to townspeople." Looking over my shoulder at Tara, waiting for a moment to catch her eye since she seemed to be staring out into space. "Tara? Seeing as Gemma's not in the best mood, you should probably take care of the greedy little shit we got downstairs." No way in hell was I going to have anything to do with the nurse, and that was more for her sake than mine. Though I'd never been prone to random acts of violence, I didn't take it lightly when someone threatened those I loved. Proof on that could probably still be found on my brother's ex girlfriend's face, when I grabbed a set of plier and used them to smash her face after I heard her calling my brother a series of derogatory terms to belittle him. Her nose eventually healed, but I would bet she still had the scar on her face.

"I was going to anyways, I think she was bleeding," Tara said while I was putting some green tea bags into two mugs. "You guys want some tea?" I asked, not bothering to look over my shoulder as I knew Tig would decline right off the bat, but Tara did ask for some. It was an odd silence as I waited for the water to boil. While I waited, I moved around to sit at the kitchen counter, glancing anxiously at the doorway where Gemma stormed off through. "Anna." My eyes found Tig's from across the room, those damn blue eyes that could probably be seen a mile away. "It'll be alright. Gemma just needs to cool down before she takes charge, you know how she is. It's just been really rough for her for a long time now," he said in that gentle calm voice he only used with certain people, the women he was surrounded with were among them.

"I know," I said in a quiet tone. "We had a long... talk last night." I didn't add anything to that, but from the realization that crossed his face I could tell he was surprised. A small smirk broke out on his face and I saw a slight fond twinkle cross his eyes. "Aw man, I forgot that she talked to you freely like that. You and your mom are the only ones that ever had that talent Dollface." I sighed and nodded my head, not allowing the conflict I had over that statement show. The tea kettle whistled right then, giving me the perfect excuse to keep busy and avoid saying anything to that statement. Coming back was seriously messing me up, and I needed to get a hold of my personal emotions if I wanted to be there for Gemma when she needed me.

I handed Tara her tea and squeezed her shoulder, mainly to ease the edgy look on her face. "There's sugar and honey on the counter, and I left half a lemon if you want," I told her, grabbing the two mugs I prepared for both Gemma and myself. Giving them one last look, I smiled slightly and then walked out the room in the direction that Gemma went. Being that the sliding glass door to the patio was open, it was the first place I went. Just as I thought, there was Gemma, sitting on the porch swing with her head in her hands.

Without a word, I held out the steaming tea to her, waiting only a moment for her to notice my presence. "Thanks babygirl," she said quietly, accepting the mug and sat back on the porch swing. I merely nodded her in response before joining her, wrapping my fingers around the mug to warm my perpetually cold hands. The silence between was heavy, yet comfortable. I knew that if Gemma wanted to talk or open up, she'd need to make the first move. Forcing her to talk rarely worked and when it did, she never told the full story. For over a half hour, we sat there in silence, looking at the scenery of the gorgeous gardens in the back yard as we sipped our tea. "You know," Gemma began as she brought the mug down from her lips. "It's been so long since I had tea, and I'm not a whole big fan of it. Beth taught me how to make it, but it was never the same. I'm pretty sure I either added too much sugar and got fed up enough to just add some vodka in the end." I smirked, taking a sip of my own cup. "Now there's a cocktail they have yet to make. I'm sure Japan would go crazy for it."

Gemma's laugh did me good to hear, even if it wasn't as lighthearted as I remembered. "Would you like me to make you some more?" I asked looking at her empty cup and then back at her. She sighed and nodded, handing me the cup. "That'd be great, thanks sweetheart." I had to admit, I adored how Gemma called me by those sweet terms of endearment, as they had a maternal feel to them which I had been missing for a long time. "I should probably go check on our little foreign pest problem anyways, I'll do that while you make us some more tea," Gemma added as she got up with me to follow me inside.

Just as I started to refill the tea kettle, Tig's voice sounded from the front of the house. "GEMMA! Nate just pulled up!" he yelled rushing into the house and into the kitchen. "Gemma, Gemma Nate just pulled up, he's heading to the backyard. C'mon!" I looked up to watch as Gemma and Tig rushed out to the front door. Tig didn't follow Gemma though, he looked back at me and I stopped what I was doing when I saw the heavy look on his face. "C'mon Anna, we got some things to talk about. I talked to Jax," he said in a low voice. Leaving the tea kettle on the side, I swallowed hard and walked over to him, allowing him to put an arm around me as we headed outside."Let's go for a drive." I nodded to his request and walked over to my car.

I had a very bad feeling that whatever I was going to hear, I wouldn't like it one bit.

**_Author's Note:_ I'm so sorry it took longer than I expected for an update. I was going to make this chapter longer, but in the end decided to break it up into two parts. Thanks so much to those who reviewed and all those who subscribed to my story.**

**I would love some feedback on it, and constructive criticism is always appreciated. I also apologize for any spelling errors, though I think I got them all.**

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!**


	4. Deadly Information

I closed the door to my car, putting my seat belt on and waited till Tig had taken the passenger seat. We had a short disagreement about who would be driving, but I never let anyone drive my baby, so I said to Tig straight up he could kiss my ass.

I turned on the engine, switching into gears carefully as I pulled out of the driveway and onto the street, the loud rumble of the engine filled both our ears. Loud and fast cars was the only way to go in my world, and my Firebird was definitely one of my dream cars.

"Drive to the park down the street and park on the side," Tig yelled over the engine, getting only a nod from me in return. I felt a knot forming in my stomach when I glanced at his face. I knew him so well that it was easy for me to tell when something serious was going on.

Turning off the engine after I pulled up on the side by the playground area filled with little kids playing and laughing, I couldn't help but let out a slight sigh. We didn't say anything for a moment, both of us stared straight ahead probably trying to prepare for the conversation. I knew that was my plan at least.

Tig let out a loud breath and took a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket, offering me one that I politely declined with a shake of me head before he lit one up. "Shit Anna I don't even know where to start. Jax said I oughta tell ya cause if you're gonna stick around you gotta be prepared for some crazy and heavy shit."

"Ya think? I grew up in the club Tig, when has there not been crazy and heavy shit? If it's not deaths, it's danger. If it's not either of those, it's relationship problems and family stuff. I know how it works, you don't have to introduce me to it," I retorted, resting my hands on the steering wheel, watching Tig take a drag of his cigarette. They might have kept me far away from club activities but that didn't mean that I was completely ignorant as to what when on with them.

"Yea well, I don't think anything can prepare you for this Dollface," Tig leaned his elbow on my window sill, his arm hanging out of the open window and he flicked the ashes of the cigarette to the ground.

"Gemma told you, I assume, about why she's a fugitive now right?" I nodded my head slowly, studying his face carefully, the anticipation getting higher and higher by his uncharacteristic seriousness. "She told you what happened with Half-Sack too right?"

"Yes, she told me all of that, and the shooting at his funeral too. Poor kid, he seemed like a sweetheart when I met him," I said softly, looking away from him to the playground, thinking back to the time I met him only once at Donna's funeral briefly, but he was pretty cute.

Tig took another drag from his cigarette, darting his eyes away from me. "Yea well, there's a bit more to the story than just that." I turned my head sharply at that, narrowing my eyes when I caught Tig's posture tensing. "Cameron Hayes... he heard on the police radio that Gemma killed his son, even though it was that ATF bitch that framed her. He went mad, stabbed Half-Sack... and he took Abel."

It was like someone poured liquid nitrogen all over my insides, or how I imagined it would feel. I took a sharp breath, eyes wide in shock and fixated on Tig in complete disbelief. "What?" I said in almost a whisper, blinking my eyes and feeling my heart beat rapidly.

"The Irishman took him. We been trying everything we could to get him back ever since. Jax is torn up bad," he said, turning his head to look at me. "Aw damn Anna, we'll get him back, Feds aren't doing shit about it, so we're doin' all we can."

I tore my eyes away from his gaze, taking a deep breath to try and calm down. "Oh my God," I mumbled softly, closing my eyes and putting my hand on my face. "Why wouldn't the fucking Feds be doing something about a missing baby? Why isn't Gemma saying-"

A cold realization washed over me then, making me whip my head to glare at Tig. "You guys didn't tell her did you? You gotta be fucking kidding me! Are you out of your god damn minds? This is her GRANDSON!" I was fuming, and the look on Tig's face only confirmed I was right.

"How could you dumbasses keep something like that from her? She's gonna freak when she finds out, she'll-"

"Hey, you think we don't know that?" Tig interrupted me, meeting me with a glare of his own. We rarely fought, but it was never good when we did, our tempers matched on every level to a point where it could get pretty damn bad. "That's exactly why we didn't tell her. Gemma's already under a pile of stress, she blames herself for Half-Sack's death, what the fuck you think she's gonna do when she finds out Hayes kidnapped Abel cause he thought she killed his son?" He spat harshly, returning the glare right back at me.

I fell silent, but that didn't make my icy stare waver. Okay so he had a point, it would tear her up something fierce. Gemma was one dedicated grandma, and she loved Abel something fierce. Almost every e-mail I got from her that had pictures were always of that little sweet thing, and he was always mentioned at least once in every conversation we had together. I didn't want to think about how she'd react when she found out he was kidnapped.

Taking a deep breath, I broke the staring, or rather glaring contest I was having with Tig and looked straight ahead, trying to keep my anger in check. "This is her grandson, there is no fucking excuse for her not knowing. Protecting her is only going to make it worse when she does eventually find out. And you better believe she's gonna be livid," I replied in a tersely, my voice still laced with venom.

"I know, believe me I know," Tig said with a defeated sigh that made me look over at him. "Jax and Clay are coming up here tomorrow morning. They hired a mercenary to find Hayes, guy caught him in Vancouver. A good couple of us are heading up there and they're taking Gemma. Jax said he's gonna tell her tomorrow."

"He better," I seethed, the stoney expression on my face would be enough for Tig to know I wasn't playing around. "Cause I swear to God, if you guys don't tell her by tomorrow, I will. Keeping this from her is messed up on so many damn levels, and I refuse to be one of those that willingly kept her in the dark."

Tig nodded slowly, searching my face slowly, blue eyes roaming over my every feature to take it all in. "I won't argue with you Anna. Jax already figured you'd freak out about that too." He shrugged his shoulders and flicked his cigarette butt out the window.

"I didn't like keeping it from her, but look at it from our point of view Dollface. Gemma's a wanted fugitive with a price on her head, if she knew that Abel was taken, she'd risk it all to get to him." As much as I hated to admit it, it was true. In that light I could probably defend the reason, had it been anyone other than Gemma.

"Doesn't matter. She deserves to know Tig." I let out a deep breath and put my hand over my eyes, the shock of the news finally hitting me. That sweet little baby, the one that always had a smile for me since he was born, was God knows where with some psychotic douche. It was hard to comprehend that anyone would be cold hearted enough to take a baby from someone's family. And people wondered why I hated them so much, in a world like today humanity was more of a fairy tale than anything else.

"Hey," Tig's gentle and softer voice was back as I felt his warm, callused hand wrap around my wrist tenderly. He brought it away from my face and his other hand came up to my chin, tipping my face to force me to look at him.

It was the same comforting eyes that I remembered as a kid, that could go from gentle and kind to malicious and cold in a split second. "It's gonna be alright. We'll get the kid back," he said, studying my face again, scrutinizing me like he did with everyone when trying to figure them out. It made me feel like I was a little kid again and he was trying to get me to tell him what was bugging me.

With a sigh, I dropped his gaze for a moment, the gears in my head spinning as I tried to get a hold on myself. "I'm going to help. That overprotective bullshit doesn't fly with me, neither does that club business shit. As far as I'm concerned, this is _family _business, and God help any of you that try to keep me from doing what I can for my family," I said in such a soft and determined voice that I practically dared Tig to say no to me.

Instead, a soft smirk stretched his lips, but rather than the arrogant and smug one I was used to, this one had a note of fondness behind it. "Shit Dollface, you ain't gonna get any problems from me on that. I told them from the start they shoulda called you, if only to warn ya in case things really hit the fan with the Irish or the Mayans at one point." He released his hold on my chin, winking at me before letting his hand fall to my knee so he could squeeze it comfortingly.

I wasn't at all feeling better though, in fact I was still pretty damn pissed off. At the same time, I was also worried big time, fearing for Abel's safety. Granted, the IRA weren't known for harming children, but my mind went to the worst. For all I knew, Cameron Hayes could have sold him on the black market.

"Did you guys talk to any of your contacts in the IRA? They have been pretty good with the club for years and I doubt that they would want this kind of a problem on their hands." I leaned back in the seat, still looking ahead.

"They talked to Jimmy, he insisted that Cameron wasn't in Belfast. That's what got us the lead in Vancouver, but I doubt that they would have ever okayed it. I still think that something ain't right with that whole thing. I can't think of where else Cameron Hayes would go, and them Irishmen tend to always go back to their roots."

I recognized that tone in Tig's voice, heavy with suspicion and laced in concern. He had always been incredibly suspicious, and was usually worse than Clay when it came to trusting people and not questioning their motives. Privately, I had always thought that Tig's gut was way more trustworthy than anyone's with all the things he experienced, and it was sometimes better to assume the worst until proven wrong. In this world there was always someone out to get you, and there were a lot of benefits to having someone prove their trust to you before they broke it.

"If you guys have solid proof that he is in Vancouver, then go for it. Just... shit." I raked may hand through the loose curls that always managed to escape from the ponytail in frustration. "Abel is a baby, to involve a baby in this is an all time low for anyone. It's just... unreal. Hard to stomach that something horrible could happen to Abel and that the IRA would be stupid enough to pair a father and son together with all the emotional attachment and possibility for oh I don't know, an irrational incident like this one to occur? Fucking dumbasses, all of them."

"Yea, I know. Believe me I know. This was something none of us saw coming," Tig said taking his hands off me and moving to light another cigarette.

I placed my hands on the wheel, taking a minute to try and calm down. We couldn't be away from Gemma for too long and she would know instantly that something was wrong with me, so I had to calm down. Swallowing emotions back took me a moment, forcing me to concentrate on my breathing as I leaned my forehead against the top of the stirring wheel. Clearing my mind took me to a place away from reality where I could calm down and not deal with real life situations for awhile.

"You gonna be alright to drive Dollface? Cause we gotta be heading back." A hand touched me back and I tensed up on instinct, straightening up as if I was just burned by a touch. "Relax, would ya?" Tig snatched his hand away and went back to smoking his cigarette.

"Sorry, lost in thought." I pretty much mumbled it to him, but I was pretty sure he got it from his relaxed posture.

The ride home was silent for the most part, though Tig did remind me at the end to remember to chill the hell out in front of Gemma. I braced myself for keeping up my guard around Gemma, cause I knew it would be hard to keep her from guessing. As hard as it was for others to read me, I might as well had my feelings projected on the wall with her.

Thankfully, I was worried for nothing, because when Tig and I walked into the house, the first thing we found is the corpse of the nurse on the floor and Tara clutching her head and looking seriously sick.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me," Tig said staring at the body on the floor with me next to him with my mouth hanging open. As if my life wasn't insane enough.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as Gemma recounted the story about what happened rapidly while I tried to just stay calm and not freak out to the fact that my Godmother, who was already a wanted fugitive, just accidentally killed someone.

"Okay, okay, hold on." I took a deep breath to try and reign in not just the panic and anxiety in the room, but also the storm of it that was brewing in my mind. "First thing, Tara, are you okay?"

She was still on the floor and looked up at me with a painful grimace on her face. "She hit my head pretty hard. My head is still spinning, but I don't think she gave me a concussion."

"Alright come here love," I said in a softer voice, leaning down to help her stand up slowly. I am by no means trained in medical care, but being in the dangerous life of racing, I had the most basic knowledge from the few times I ended up in some bad accidents.

Tara sat down in the chair I led her to slowly, still clutching her head. "There you go," I spoke in a soothing and soft voice over her painful groans. "Just hold still okay, I'll get you an icepack and some asprin or something." I stroked her hair to calm her down before I walked to the freezer to grab the ice pack.

"Shit man," I head Tig swear under his breath as he took in the scene. "Alright, lemme take care of this then." I looked over at him and saw him pick up the knife and walk over to the sink with it. "Gemma where's the bleach?"

"Under the sink," Gemma called, making her way past me and into the living room.

I pressed the cold compress against the lump that formed on Tara's head gently, a sympathetic smile formed on my face when she hissed from the contact.

"Just keep pressing that, you'll feel better." I had to put my focus into being the caring little 'mom' like figure just to give myself something to concentrate on instead of freaking out. It helped that I pretty much grew up with boys my entire life, so I was used to that role.

"Anna baby," I looked up when Gemma entered the room addressing me with what I recognized as one of my mom's old quilts in her hand. "Go to the bathroom and look for something for her head. You probably won't find anything other than prescription pain killers, so start with that."

Only giving a nod as my answer, I went into the bathroom and began rummaging through the medicine cabinet. The weakest thing I could find was the 100mg Demerol, and that was still strong stuff. Oh well, it would have to do.

"I leave you girls alone for ten minutes. TEN MINUTES!" I heard Tig yell as I walked back into the kitchen. "Yea, yea any ideas here?" Gemma said impatiently, adjusting the quilt draped over Tara's shoulders.

"Jax can't know about this. Oh thank you." Tara gave me a small smile when I placed two of the pills in front of her and walked to the fridge to grab her some water.

My face hardened when I wasn't facing Gemma at Jax's name. Damn I didn't think I had ever been as pissed off at him as I was then, and believe me he had given me plenty of reasons to be in the past. It was a conflicting feeling though, because I missed him like crazy, and Lord knew I loved the guy, but sometimes I just wanted to rip his hair out for being so rash and stupid. It had been like that since we were kids, and yea there may be a significant age difference between us, but growing up around him, my brother and the rest of SAMCRO totally proved to me that girls truly did mature faster than boys.

"Yea, this is the last thing the club needs." My eyes snapped to the exasperated and stressed out expression of Gemma's face and forced my own to remain neutral. "Tig said they're gonna be here tomorrow," I lowered my eyes when I said that, placing the bottle of water in front of Tara.

"What?" Gemma's sharp tone stung my ear when I sat down. "Which means we better work damn fast. They're making a run for the Irish, they're most likely gonna be here by the morning, early afternoon at the latest," Tig said walking over to us.

Tara's response was nothing more than a groan of despair. "Perfect."

"Oh please, like they haven't done worse," I scoffed under my breath, my annoyance coming out despite my attempt at controlling it. Gemma's suspicious and curious narrowed eyes shut me up as fast as Tig's warning glare. The whole 'let's wait till Jax and Clay tell Gemma themselves' thing was going to be way harder than I thought.

"Bachmann!" Tig exclaimed loudly, probably to get the attention off of me and back to the situation at hand. Not that I blamed him, I knew that I should and could monitor myself better. "Bachmann's based outta' Crescent City. He can probably be here in an hour or so."

"The Cleaner Guy?" Gemma asked him, almost in disbelief from what I could tell, and I was probably right.

"Yea he's independent. He works for around two or three grand, but he is good." Even though Tig was talking, it was Gemma that had my attention, being that I myself was trying to gauge if she was suspicious of me knowing anything or not.

If she had any suspicions, I certainly couldn't tell because she looked more defeated by the second. "There's some cash here but not that much. Will he take jewelry?"

"Whoa, hold on. I got cash." I spoke up as I stood up from my spot next to Tara and walked over to my bag

Gemma's head snapped up to look at me. "No, no babygirl, I'm not taking your cash for something that doesn't involve you. We can get the mon-"

"Save it Gem, this involves me just as much since you know, I'm here and all. Just take it, cause if he only takes cash we're screwed." My voice was resolute and firm as I tossed Tig a wad of cash. "There should be a little over two grand in that."

Because I lived in an incredibly modest apartment and wasn't big on fancy clothes, I know I looked like I made an average income until someone saw my car. That's where all the money went, and I was damn proud of it.

Tig just looked between me and Gemma, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Okay then, I'll make the call."

Gemma smiled at me gratefully, not making a move to hug me like she usually did. "You shoulda used that money to get yourself something babygirl. Lord knows you could use it."

I shifted when I felt her eyes linger on my tight jeans that though in taken care of, were obviously worn in and old and my fitted T-shirt that had a fading FORD(tm) logo on it. Yeah I could use new stuff, but there were things way more important than clothes at the moment.

"Thanks," she added softly and I smirked slightly at her, waving it off as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Alright then Anna, go keep my father busy for a few hours, and we'll take care of this." Gemma was in 'Monarch' mode as I often called it when I teased her, where she was taking charge, kicking ass and taking names to get the job done.

I wasted no time, grabbing my car keys and heading out to the porch where Tig and I had seen him calmly sitting and reading a book. "On it. Give me a call when it's safe to bring him in."

Okay, keeping Nate busy might not be as easy as it looked, and I had to prepare myself for that when I grabbed my mom's old leather jacket and slipped it on before moving over to Nate.

"Reverend Nathaniel?" My voice was a gentle and sweet tone as I addressed the older man that had become so withered since I last remembered him. I kept a warm smile on my face when he looked up at me.

"Ah, Anna! You know, you look just like your mother. I was telling Gemma how looking at you makes me remember both the past and the future." He looked so nervous and yet so warm that it made the shock of him actually remembering who I was pass quickly.

"Thank you. I miss her very much." I allowed a soft sad smile to form on my face before I held my hand out to him. "I was thinking of going over to the Old Church's gardens Reverend. I remember how my mother, Aaron, and I planted all those flowers that one year after they rebuilt the Church. Would you like to join me? I would love to see how they have grown since."

Nate warmed up to me instantly, probably because I tried to make my voice have that soft, melodic lilt that my mother always had. "Oh, yes thank you! I- I would like that." He took my hand with a smile, and I was just as sweet and polite when I led him to my car, warning him to buckle up.

I will admit that I had been worried about taking him in a loud and fast car like my baby, but if anything he seemed to enjoy it. Though I did use a gentle voice when speaking to him, almost like that of a child, I still managed to inch in a joke or comment here or there to make him smile.

We walked around the large garden till the late evening, stopping to speak to some of the other people who we ran into that knew Nate, if only to at least say hi. From the look of it, Nate enjoyed himself. The steady and peaceful walk around the garden seemed to calm his trouble mind during the time when his memory had temporally returned as he had informed me.

When Gemma called later in the evening, I told Nate that she was worried and asked for us to come home. He really was a sweet man, and it did hurt to see how time and old age hit him hard. I vowed to myself to at least make an effort to come down and visit him once in awhile, if only to do it because I knew Gemma wouldn't be able to do it herself.

As had been expected, there was no sign of a corpse or even of the nurse having ever been there when we got back. Tig took me aside and let me know that all had been taken care of and we were in the clear.

With one big obstacle down, there was only several more left for me to face. One of them was seeing all the guys for the first time in a long time in general. Some I hadn't seen in years, while few I saw within the year, but nonetheless I knew that it would be emotionally straining. The other was bracing myself to be there for Gemma when the guys would tell her about Abel, because I knew that it was not going to be pretty.

Finally, I had to face the fact that with things the way they were, I would probably be there with them for awhile. I didn't want to leave my racing life, but I couldn't in good conscience leave Gemma and my family right then. They had always been there for me, and I had to grow up and get over myself to be as good to them as they had been to me my entire life.

All I could say, I was in for one hell of a rough ride where my driving skills weren't going to help.

**_Author's Note:_ **

**I am having a blast writing this, but I can't help but feel as if I am doing something wrong. Though I thank those that took the time to review, I was slightly disappointed by the lack of response on something I worked my butt off on and I wasn't even sure if it was well received.**

**Normally, I hate it when authors beg for reviews and I refuse to be one of those that refuse to post unless a quota of reviews, but because I was apprehensive about doing a fanfiction on a TV show to begin with, reviews would really help me at least know if I'm going in the right direction.**

**Right now I'm thinking that it's probably the fact that the chapters are so long and I'm doing it for the most part by the show, so any romance that may or may not come may take awhile to show, though I am pretty sure with a personality like Anna's it would happen, with who though is the question. **

**To those who did review, thank you, they make me smile and motivate me to write. The same goes to all those who subscribed and added the story to their favorites, as that must mean you like it enough to want to read it. **

**Hope to hear from you guys, and I will aim for having another chapter out by the end of the week.**


	5. Family Resolutions

"Tig! What part of 'touch my baby and I'll beat your ass' confused you?" I smacked his hands away from fiddling with the parts under the hood of my Firebird. I was doing regular maintenance, and Tig decided to do his version of helping me, which was really harassing me and bothering me.

And he claimed he wanted to give Gemma a bit of space with her dad before we dropped him off. Yeah right. I had a good idea that his main goal was to annoy the crap out of me.

"You act like I've never been around a supped up car with... shit three illegal mods? God damn Dollface." He let out a low whistle as he inspected my baby's engine, putting his hands right back on the parts.

The only thing that came from me was an annoyed groan and then reaching over to yank his hands away. "I don't care I said no touchin- AHH TIG!" He broke my hold and trapped me in the mercy hold where he grabbed my wrists, spun me around to catch my arms and essentially had me pinned right up against him.

Crap, of course he would choose that moment to screw with me just to annoy me while I tried to so something productive.

"Had I known that this is all you wanted from me, I would've demanded you buy my dinner at the very least." I cocked my head to the side, looking up at him with my neat eyebrows delicately raised and a smirk on my face while I struggled against his grip.

As expected, Tig played along. "All I gotta do is get you some dinner? If I knew that's all it took I woulda taken you out on your eighteenth birthday." He squeezed me to him at this point and totally using the fact that he knew the way to grip someone with my smaller build in an unbreakable grip to his advantage.

I didn't even want to think about how much practice he had to learn how to do it right.

"You lost your balls or something that night? And here I was giving you all that credit and totally counting on you to give me this great introduction to 'being a woman'." My smirk widened when I saw Tig looking at me as if he was trying to figure out if I was lying or not. "And poor little ol' me had to find herself a real man that was up for the job. For shame Tig."

The smirk on Tig's face was slowly widening into a grin before he started to laugh, but he kept up the game when he dipped his head and the classic Tig move of him doing the light breathing in the ear. "Shit, Dollface you've definitely been keeping someone on their toes. I like it when a good girl goes over to the naughty bad side."

Yeah okay, I definitely saw why he got as much ass as he did. If I didn't know him as well as I did, that would be a total melting kind of moment. It was easier than I expected to contain my shudder because I knew that there must have been hundreds of women that he pulled that move on. That thought alone made it hard for me to take it remotely seriously.

Not missing a beat in the little game, I leaned back so I could look at his face, strategically looking at him over my shoulder with what I liked to call the 'bedroom eyes,' the imitation of that look that made Rhett Butler and many other men melt at Vivien Leigh's, when she played Scarlet O'Hara, feet.

Blame it on my mother centering my childhood around old movies, mainly with Veronica Lake, Mae West, Vivien Leigh, and Rita Hayworth. That back then was true seduction, not like the scantily clad skanks that act as personal cumdumpsters for the guys.

"There are no good girls gone bad," I said in a husky soft voice, tapping my fingers against the top of his palms. "Just bad girls found out." Ah thank you Mae West, her lines are classic, classy, and still had the same effect they had back in the day, even if I did modify them slightly.

"God damn." Tig took a shaky, sharp breath that was evident enough for me to feel his stomach contract against my back. "You're gonna get yourself in a lot of trouble talkin' like that Dollface."

He rested his chin on the back of my head for a second, his body slumping in a slightly more comfortable manner as he took another breath into my hair.

It was strange how comfortable I was with Tig, I had issues being touched for the most part unless I initiated the contact, but I couldn't remember a time when I didn't know Tig, and oddly enough he had always been affectionate with me.

It might be a bit weird at the thought that the affection got to this level, but it didn't bother me so I never paid any attention to it.

A smirk made it's way onto my face, and I nudged his hip hard, enough to make him grunt and let go of me. I spun out of his reach, wide mischievous smirk still on my face. "Oh, I totally won this round, you know that right?"

"Yea you win first place title of pain in the ass. You're lucky you got nice tits." Tig rubbed his stomach, smirking right back at me and not even bothering to be subtle about giving me a once over.

Ah Tig, always the classy one.

"Dick."

"Well it's about time you asked, I got one for ya whenever, wherever Dollface."

While he stood there looking smug as hell, my eyes went wide and my mouth was in an open smile of disbelief. Why I was still surprised anymore I had no idea. "You are completely intractable."

When the smug look on his face turned into a slightly confused one, it made me smirk all over again. "What's the matter, is the big bad word making your head hurt?"

"I got something big for you right here, and it comes with the good kinda hurt."

"I give up!" I threw my arms up in defeat and gave a frustrated sigh while Tig cracked up, looking way too proud of himself.

Okay I'll admit it, I had really missed him.

I pushed his arm with slight force, but of course it didn't do anything more than make him take a step back and merely amused him more. It was impossible for me to not have a smile on my face when he just slung his arm around me and messed up my hair, still laughing.

"HEY! Do I look like a-" I was interrupted by the distinct sound of Harleys driving down the road.

Both Tig and I looked in the direction of the bikes, both growing somber. The anger, anticipation, and excitement of seeing my family again returned, and I automatically straightened up, mentally prepping myself.

"I'll go grab Gem," I said in a soft voice to Tig as the guys pulled up, the swirl of emotions within me were almost too much to take. It was probably the weirdest feeling ever to want to hug someone and beat the crap out of them at the same time while wanting to comfort them.

And I'm not even hormonal. Go figure.

"Gemma!" I yelled her name through the house, making my way to the backyard. Nate loved his garden, and I figured she would take him there for some quality time.

Did I know my Godmother, or what? There she was, walking with Nate in the garden. "The guys just came!" I waved them over from the backdoor, letting them pass me so I could take a step to the side and get a hold of myself.

Leaning against the wall of the living room, I closed my eyes and counted backwards from ten while simultaneously taking deep breaths.

When I thought about what Jax must be going through with Abel being taken, it literally hurt my heart. Despite the fact that his demeanor hardened from the happy kid he was since he joined SAMCRO, he's still such a great guy and I loved him as much as I loved my brother.

At the same time, Gemma had been on the top of my list of people for so long and after mom died she was my rock. I hated keeping the news about Abel from her, hell I had to spend all of last night with Tig teaching me how to play Texas Hold'Em just to avoid talking to her so she wouldn't suspect anything.

I could do it, they would hopefully tell her soon and that would be over and done. I missed Clay and Jax so much, and I couldn't just stay away.

Taking a final deep breath, I walked toward the front door just in time to see Clay laying a big one on Gemma, tongue and all.

"You guys want us to give you some privacy or something?" I leaned against the doorway, mischievous grin and arms crossed over my chest.

They broke apart, both smiling as Gemma rushed to Jax and I walked over to Clay.

"God damn, I can't believe it. C'mere Angel," Clay had that wonderful gruff grin on his face, scooping me right up in a big hug.

I hugged him right back, ignoring Tig's snort at the pet name Clay called me with a big smile on my face when the scent of the same cologne that he wore since I was a kid filled my nose. "You have no idea how much I missed you guys. Even though you drove me crazy with worry."

"That's rich, comin' from the girl that races cars at neckbreakin' speed." He took my shoulders and held me away from him, the knowing look on his face made me smile as innocently as possible.

"And you call me a smartass." Okay fine, as pissed off as I was at them, I couldn't keep the grin off my face when I looked at Clay.

He and Piney became the father figures in my life after my dad split, and I adored them for it. Even though Piney was my Godfather, Clay had just as much of a hand in raising me and taking care of my family. For that alone, he had a permanent place in my heart.

I felt his hands shaking slightly as he held my shoulders, instantly making me concerned. He didn't look bothered at the moment though, giving me a long look with the same gleam in his eyes that Gemma had when she first saw me.

"Damn. You look more and more like Beth every time I see you Angel," Clay said in a soft voice, still studying my features. Had I really changed that much? Gemma, Tig, and Clay all saw me at Donna's funeral, and they didn't make any of the comments like they did now. Did clothes really make such a difference? Or is it that my hair is way longer than I normally liked to keep it?

Well it was definitely something, because I glimpsed Jax doing a double take when he saw me over Gemma's shoulder, but I refused to meet his eye yet.

Clay's hands still shook lightly against my shoulders, as if he was trying to control them and keep them from being noticed. He was always really prideful, and I chose to pretend not to notice. "A shock that a daughter could look like her mother huh?" The smirk on my face grew when he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Smartass." Clay must have given me that look about a million times in my life, the one that was both amused and exasperated. "Good to have you back kid."

I watched him walk toward Tig with a soft smile, that familiar warmth of being at home was slowly getting stronger.

Turning my head, I finally looked over at Jax, cringing when I heard him tell Gemma that Abel was fine and with Neeta. His eyes flew straight to me afterward, holding my stare with those icy light eyes. What I loved was that he didn't look at me like Gemma, Clay, and Tig did, though I wasn't complaining, but instead of seeing my mom, he just saw me.

My mom had adored Jax, being his Godmother as well, but I guess since we were kids together he was most familiar with me, especially since Aaron and him were born like three days apart and my entire childhood was spent running after them and being that annoying tag along.

Tig went up to Jax to greet him as well while Gemma ran off after Nate. The poor man still looked so sad, and it was heartbreaking to watch. I stood on the side though, just starting at the group and giving them a moment before Clay and Tig made their way back into the house, something about 'grandma's stash.

Jax and I were left alone, staring at each with uncertainty.

Neither of us moved, waiting for the other three to go inside first, all three had thrown us glances. I had told Gemma the first night when we were up till the early morning hours talking that I was pissed at Jax for not keeping me in the loop and being ridiculously overprotective. Tig and probably Clay knew that it was so much more than that.

I didn't even notice that they were gone, my eyes were firmly on Jax, studying him as I had studied everyone I saw at first sight. He looked worn out and lost, like he was carrying all these burdens and had nowhere to put them.

As angry as I was at him for keeping the truth about Abel from Gemma, it hurt my heart looking at him then. He had that same strength of mind and character that Gemma possessed that I always admired, but even I could see that it had seriously been tested.

After another couple of seconds of the two of us staring at each other, I was the one to make the first move. In just two strides, I went right up to him and threw my arms around him in a tight hug.

That right there, was what I had been missing. Jax had always been such a huge part of my life and since I left for college we had drifted apart. Right then was probably the first real hug I had given him in years, and it was just what I needed to feel at home

He must have been feeling a something similar, because his arms wrapped tightly around me and his face was buried in my hair. I felt him let out a deep breath, which only made me hug him tighter.

"I missed you Anna, God I missed you." His words were muffled by my hair, the side of my face resting against his shoulder.

My hold on him tightened and gave a slight choked laugh, keeping back the sadness and anger I felt at him. "I'm torn between wanting to punch you, yell at you, and just keep hugging you."

I felt his body shake slightly from his chuckle, hugging me tighter in response. After several minutes, he sighed contently and loosened his hold that allowed me to lean back and look at him.

"You'll get him back Jax." I wanted to comfort him, do something to make him feel better like he always did for me. Damn, I had all these plans to be pissed at him and rip him a new one, but now that I had finally gotten a chance to see him, alone hug him, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Though I didn't have any kids, I loved Abel like no other little kid. I couldn't imagine what Jax was going through, but one look at his face, one I knew so well told me enough.

"You're still a dumbass though. And I'm still pissed at you."

There was a half smile on his face and he squeezed my waist. "I did what I had to do Anna. I'm not going to apologize for it. My mom wouldn't have been able to take it if I told her, and I can't risk letting anything happen to you either. Come on Anna don't give me that.."

I was glowering at him again like I always did whenever he pissed me off. I was often told that Aaron and I had the same stoney glare that could make people freeze from the intensity of our eyes.

"I'm so sick of you constantly trying to protect me and keep me in that nice safe little cocoon. That shit doesn't work with me Jax," I hissed, stepping out of his hold now so I could look him right in the face without turning my head.

It was a good thing that I had on my boots, since Jax was at least 6'1, a good five inches taller than me. The part that sucked was that I felt a fight brewing between us.

Jax didn't seem to be in the mood to argue, his face was heavy with exasperation, but he remained firm. "I don't care what works for you or not, if I have a way of keeping you out of trouble, I'm gonna do it. Damnit Anna." He paced to the side, a hand going to his head while the frustration on his face became more and more evident.

"Don't you get it? You don't belong in this life. You belong in college, living in a place without this crazy shit at every corner. All of us, me, my mom, Clay, Aaron, Opie, Piney, Tig,- we all said that you're too good for this life. We're doing everything we can to protect you-"

"I don't want your goddamn protection Jax," I interrupted with a snarl, hands at my side as I tried to keep myself from yelling."When alll of you kept me in the dark and tried to protect me, it ends up blowing up in your face. The first time, you guys kept me in the dark about my dad splitting for a month, and I ended up finding out by overhearing Clay, remember what happened after that?"

The look on Jax's face was twisting to one of guilt and pain, which in turn had me feeling slightly guilty as this was the last thing he needed at that moment, but I couldn't help it, he pissed me off. "The second time, I ended up in the hospital having to watch my mom in excruciating pain and then take her last few breaths while she held my hand. And then just recently, I had to go to the funeral of a woman that was the closest I had to a sister growing up. You guys SUCK at protecting me, cause I get burnt worse in the end every damn time."

The two of us stared at each other, a myriad of emotions running through us. I looked at Jax and saw that big brother that had always been there for me, and even when Aaron would tell me to scram, he'd tolerate me and play with me. Years later we were in the middle of a mini face off in Gemma's dad's front yard.

Jax finally broke the tense silence. "It may not be the best Anna, but you're wild as it is, ever since we were kids, and none of us are willing to risk telling you anything. We _know_ you. If I told you about the shit with the Aryans and with my mom, you woulda been down here and with your temper shit would have gone even worse than it did."

The frustration in Jax softened, and he looked at me with a much softer look I knew he reserved for family. "If we lost you, the club wouldn't survive. I didn't think we'd pull through when your mom died, if something happened to you, that'd be it. I ain't willing to risk that."

Another thing that sucked about knowing Jax for so long was that I knew that he was seriously speaking from the heart and full of emotion, which was weird seeing as though he was prone to outbursts, he usually kept stuff that deep to himself.

Being that I was practically like his sister, it was probably easier for him to let down that guard around me.

"Jax, you're my family. When something happens to any of you, and I find out later, that tears me into shreds. I keep thinking that I could have done something, that I could have stopped it, and I end up not knowing what to do with myself." I stepped closer to him, now much calmer but determined as ever.

"I love you guys, I don't have anyone else. I want to be there for you guys like you're always there for me. It's like I was saying to Tig, I grew up in the club. I _know _how stuff works, and I learned long ago how to handle myself, plus I can talk my way out of anything. And on top of that, I _have_ my own life, that you and everyone else constantly bitches about." I waved my hand toward my car with a pointed look on my face.

"Stop protecting me from something I don't need protection from. I want my family back. I want Aaron to come home from the war, I want Abel to be safe at home, I want you, Gemma and Clay to be healthy and safe. If you want to protect me from anything, protect me by teaching me to protect myself."

I crossed my arms, tucking back a stray curl that never seemed to want to stay in place, still holding Jax's gaze. "Is that too much to ask? I just want a family again. Gem told me everything last night, and I don't think I'll be able to stay away anymore, it scares me too much. I do belong here, because I belong with all of you, with the people I love the most. I hate that it took years of separation and a very enlightening talk last night to realize it."

That was my vulnerable moment, giving Jax something back for pouring his heart out a bit to me. I was never so emotional with people unless I was extremely comfortable with them, with once-in-a-blue-moon exceptions. As outgoing as I was, what separated me from my mom was that she wore her heart on her sleeve no matter what life threw at her and I guarded my feelings with motes of lava, barbed wire fences and snipers. Few had the way into them, and one of them was currently standing in front of me tracing my features with those familiar eyes that always brought me that comfort that could only come from family.

Jax's lips quirked up in a half smile and he put an arm around my shoulder. "You never lost your family Anna, we ain't ever going to let ya go."

"Does this mean you promise I can stick around and you won't keep me in the dark anymore?"

"I promise I'll tell ya what you gotta know, and I ain't ever gonna stop doing everything I can to keep you safe... but you do belong here. We've been missing something for a long time, especially with everything that's happened, and right now it would do all of us good to have you to annoy us." His smile grew even more, s did mine. "I really missed ya."

"I might have missed you too. Only on Tuesdays though." I was full on grinning then, giving him, loving the idea of being back with all of them.

I didn't even realize how much I missed my family until right then when I found myself surrounded by those I loved and loved me without any strings attached.

Of course, me being me, my mind reverted back to the big reason I was pissed at him. "You can't keep lying to Gemma. I get that it's needed, but it's not right. I told Tig yesterday, and I'm telling you now, you guys don't tell her by today, than I will."

I wasn't bluffing or making idle threats, and Jax knew I was serious.

"We'll handle it, trust me none of us like keepin' this from her. We'll find the right time. With the whole thing with Grandpa, it's probably gonna be better if we get shit settled first." He shook his head and his shoulders slumped as he looked toward the house. "We good? Can you deal with that for now?"

With utmost reluctance, I nodded, keeping my eyes trained on Jax. "Fine."

We exchanged looks, both of us gauging the other to make sure the issues were taken care of for the most part.

"Tara's inside?" Jax asked, glancing at her car in the driveway.

"Yea, she's helping Gemma pack up some stuff, which I probably need to get back to. Took a break to work on my car." I walked over to my baby and closed the hood of the car securely.

"I like the new ride."

I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what was coming. "Later. Right now, you need to talk to your girl and I need to start organizing some of those boxes downstairs."

We both walked in the house, comfortable in each others company now that we dealt with some of our issues. "We're all gonna talk soon, me and Clay gotta let you guys know what's gonna happen. I'll call you up."

After I nodded, he rushed off to look for Tara while I went down to the basement to start marking the boxes.

It had not been an easy couple of days for me or anyone really, and I doubted whatever their plan was would make it any better.

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**_Author's Note: _**

**Wow, I am seriously flattered by all the reviews, feedback and advice, and I will go back to what I did before and respond to each of you at the end of the chapters.**

**First off, and I have to say this since I'm still on a high from it, SONS OF ANARCHY SEASON 3 FINALE OWNED! Oh man, best TV finale ever, I was freaking out when I watched it. It closed up the big stuff beautifully and then gave us the starting point for the next season. I don't know if I'm going to be able to survive waiting till next year for it, but I know it will be worth it. Also, Opie is the man.**

**Second of all, once again I am giving you a half chapter with just some interaction between Anna and the characters to show what their relationship is like. Personally, I had a blast writing the****banter with her and Tig, mainly cause I adore Tig. I would love some feedback on how that came out and what you all think of it, it really helps me and keeps me motivated.**

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**Now for my reviewers:**

**FunnyMick: ****I am glad that you like Anna, and I am so happy that you realize that a core aspect of her character is how devoted she is to her family. It was one trait that I worked really hard to ingrain to all those who read this. I hope to hear from you again!**

**wrestlenascargirl, Keptlady, Alive at 2PM, and Cadence****: Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement that had me working on this chapter in record time I think considering all the finals I'm in the middle of writing. I would be delighted to hear from all of you in the future, as your reviews made me smile.**

******Magdalene:******** First off, I love that name you used, as that's my cousin's name and I already planned to name my first daughter that. It feels great to think that someone with such an awesome name thinks I'm on the right track, and I'm definitely relieved to hear that I'm keeping true to the original characters. That's always my biggest worry and I invite you to let me know any other thoughts you might have about it.**

******Mehandi:******** It makes me happy that you like the way I write Tig. He is possibly my favorite character in the series and I find his complexity fascinating. I don't want him to lose that unique and perverse personality that has so much more layers than what's on the surface. I hope you keep me updated on how I am doing in terms of characterization and with the story. Thank you again!**

******Fall-Back-Down:******** Amazing as always? Can I assume that you've read my stuff before or just being awesome to put me in a good mood? Either way, your comment made a huge smile come on my face and I hope to please you with this chapter and future ones as well.**

******JJ-Jefferu:**** Well, I for one am glad that you read it too. As they say, first impressions can be ****deceitful, and it's nice to know that in your case it worked out. Thank you for reading, and I really hope to hear from you again.**

**Vigilant Reader:**** Wow, I don't think I have ever gotten such a thorough review, and I am extremely flattered that you liked my story. I hope I can live up to your expectations and I look forward to the feedback from you in the future. I am so glad you like Anna and see her as a real person, as I detest the idea of Mary Sues and prefer characters with realistic flaws that anyone can relate to. And like I said to some of my other wonderful reviewers, I am ecstatic that you said I was staying true to the original characters without butchering them. I really hope to hear any more comments you have on my chapters.**

**Jaz:**** You are absolutely right, and I want to thank you for giving me that final push to finish this chapter tonight and I allowed myself to have fun with it. That advice is something I will keep in mind, and think of you whenever I do. You're awesome, and I would love to hear from you again.**

**And a shout out to all those who subscribed to my story and put it in their favorites. With every review and alert I received, I found myself more inspired to write and finish this chapter. **

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**With that said, feedback, advice, general thoughts and all that are extremely valued and appreciated. It's a huge confidence booster and also makes you think about how to improve the story should there be any complaints. Plus it inspires me like crazy because though we should all write for our own pleasure, I get really happy knowing others love something I am putting so much of myself into.**

**Thank you all again and I hope to hear from you! Hopefully if I'm inspired enough I'll have a chapter out by Sunday. :-D**


	6. Lending a Hand Without a Sandwich

Gemma was seriously lucky that I loved her as much as I did, because the whole organizing and labeling thing was a pain in the ass, especially in a basement full of dust. Thankfully it didn't take me all that long to do, and Clay interrupted me to say that they needed to talk to us.

Fine by me, I would take any excuse to keep from filling my lungs with dust and mothballs from moving stuff around and especially with Jax and Tig coming in and out of the place to put boxes down and only sending out another dust cloud that attempted murder on my lungs.

That led me to be making tea and coffee in the kitchen, watching Clay hold Gemma's hand from across the table."Here, black coffee, two sugars right?" I smiled at Clay as I set the steaming mug down in front of him.

"Thanks Angel." Clay gave me a slight grin before turning back to Gemma.

"No prob- AH no Jax, at least open the screen door. Nate's not a fan of smoking in the house, and the poor man has enough problems." I opened the screen door and glared at him to make a point.

"You're goin' Mother Hen on us now? Did being the Pain-In-The-Ass become too boring?" Jax had a smirk on his face when he looked at me from his new spot by the screen door, taking a drag from his cigarette.

I gave him the finger. "You took over that title so I had to get a new one."

A chuckle escaped from Tig as he took a seat by the counter in between Gemma and Clay. "Forgot to mention that her mouth's gotten worse," he said looking over at Clay and Jax, smirking as usual.

"How would you know, you never had any experience with my mouth to compare to," I shot back, raising my eyebrows at him with my signature saucy smirk.

"Good to know," Gemma said looking over at Tig with a slight glare. Did I mention she was pretty protective of me too? It seemed like everyone I knew wanted to protect me, but I couldn't figure out what from.

Tig held up his hands and cleared his throat looking over at Clay, probably to try and have a change of topic. Meanwhile I had the biggest damn smirk on my face.

"Baby, the club's got a lotta heat on 'em right now. ATF is gunning for you, and they're gonna start gunning down after the club soon." Clay's low and serious voice made me nearly choke on my tea in surprise.

Gemma was too controlled and poised to do something like that, but her eyes going wide and the expression on her face told everyone in the room that she was just as shocked. "Jesus Christ. What's gonna happen now?"

"You need to disappear for awhile where no one can find you and you won't live like a prisoner." Jax spoke up from his place by the screen door. "We're thinking to set you up in Canada, till the heat dies down. Vancouver would probably be best."

I moved down from where I was leaning against the counter behind Gemma to make room for Tara. Leaning in the space between Gemma and Tig, I avoided all of their eyes, letting them continue with the conversation.

If they were going to Vancouver, I wanted in. They were all I had left, especially Gemma. I knew she would be torn up when she learned what happened to Abel, and I had to be there for her.

Everyone knew she was one badass dedicated Grandma, but Gemma was also the closest thing Abel had to a mom. She loved that baby before he was even born. I remembered coming up for my semester break in college to be with her when she called me to tell me what happened with Jax's old junkie slut.

God was I livid then, I was pretty much ready to throttle that stupid bitch. So much crap had been going on then, and I had barely gone inside or by Teller-Morrow Auto, the memories of my mom and my brother not being there were still heavy on my heart.

Everything had been crazy then, almost as crazy as they were now. Tara had come back into Jax's life, much to the worry of Gemma and myself. She pretty much broke his heart when she left the first time around, and it was Gemma and I that had to stay back and pick up the pieces. I had warmed up to her since then, and she had proved herself since then, but I was extremely protective of my family, so my guard was still up with her around.

And then Abel, oh that sweet strong little guy was just a blessing. It was the one time in my life that I could full on say I had witnessed a miracle. He was born with what, a twenty percent chance for survival or something like that, and he not only pulled through a high risk surgery, he recovered fully into the sweetest little thing ever.

I stuck to Gemma like glue every step of the way till Abel was out of the hospital. I watched him, blew all my extra racing money on books and toys for him. While he was in the incubator, I would go in there and talk to him, telling him about his grandma and singing the same Polish songs to him that my mom used to sing to me.

Yea I knew that he probably wouldn't remember any of it, but that was me bonding with me God-Nephew, and I was just as determined for him to pull through. It tore me up that he was missing, but that little guy was a huge part of Gemma's life, and what I was going through would be nothing compared to what will happen when she found out.

Gemma's voice broke me out of my train of thought. "So what's that gonna look like? Me, in Canada." I glanced down at the WANTED sign of her on the table, wincing since the reward had gone up since I last saw it. Not good.

"We'll get you set up some place safe, off the grid. Get ya some papers." Clay was obviously trying to keep his cool on the whole thing.

"Maybe you go redhead for awhile," Tig piped up, eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Oh Christ." I had to giggle at the expression of utter disgust on Gemma's face. "I'd rather shave my head."

Still giggling, I patted Tig's shoulder. "Not everyone's got a clown fetish Tig." I was purposely being a pain in the ass now, and he knew it from the glare he sent me.

"Heat'll die down Ma," Jax said taking a drag of his cigarette. He looked conflicted from what I could tell, but he knew how to keep his cool.

"And when do I get to see my family. My _grandson._" Gemma looked at all of them with a pointed look on her face.

My eyes flew to Jax when all he said was "We'll figure it out." Tig had to nudge me with his foot, sending me a look that I knew meant to keep my cool.

I knew I was openly glaring at Jax, seeing as he had the perfect chance to tell her. How I managed to have some sense despite growing up with them seriously had to be attributed to both good genes and Gemma.

"It's our only choice baby. We'll-" Clay stopped talking at the sound of food steps, all of us looking over as Nate entered the room.

I knew from the second that it wouldn't end well, and from Nate's outburst over Jax and Clay being there, even with Gemma trying to smooth it over.

After Gemma went after him, declaring that she, Tara, and I would handle him, my glare flew right to the three of them.

"Well that went well." My tone dripped with sarcasm as I placed my half empty mug of tea on the counter.

Tara obviously shared my sentiments. "You have to tell her," she whispered to Jax, who didn't seem at all thrilled. "I know."

Damn talk about attitude, he all but hissed at her.

"Maybe we wait." Clay spoke up from the side, not sounding happy either. "Till Nate gets settled. Spread out the misery."

Tara just shook her head and left the room, not making a comment. I on the other hand, was not planning on keeping quiet.

I had my arms crossed over my chest, looking far from thrilled. "I hope you guys know this is going to blow up in your face big time. And I won't be stopping her if she decides to rip you all a new one."

"C'mon Dollface." Tig's arm went around my waist, tugging me down to sit on his lap. "We talked about this. What good is it gonna do with Gemma freakin' out now, right before she has to put Nate in a home?"

"Your hands move any lower or higher from where they are now, you're gonna have a splash of boiling hot tea in your face," I threatened in a grumbling tone, relaxing against him nonetheless. I could just picture him rolling his eyes from the slight squeeze on my waist.

"All it seems to me that you guys are doing it is avoiding it. The fact that you waited this long is bad enough, but after you telling her that Abel was alright and safe, it's just going to be worse now."

My eyes were narrowed and fixated on Jax. I knew I was being hard on him, but when it came to Gemma I didn't play around.

"It was gonna be bad anyways Anna," Clay spoke, rubbing his face tiredly. "Like I said, we'll spread out the misery. Let her deal with her father first before she finds out about her grandson."

Scoffing, I rested my crossed arms on top of the arm Tig wrapped around my waist and glared at Clay and Jax, since I didn't see Tig's face.

"I want it to go on record that I'm not happy and totally against keeping it from her, but doing so only out of the respect I have for you guys. Even if I do think this is a dumb ass decision."

That it was Clay that gave a sigh of exasperation. "Noted." He downed the rest of his coffee, eying me and Tig. "What the fuck is with this cozy bullshit? You goin' for jailbaits again Tig?"

Tig sighed behind me as I leaned back to look at him with raised eyebrows. "Again? You know what, don't tell me. This is one thing I don't want to be informed on."

"She ain't a sweetbutt Tig, just remember that," Clay said in a casual tone that was laced with a clear warning.

"Shit, I know that, she's been reminding me of it since she turned eighteen. Can't some old friends show affection?" Tig had a smirk on his face and winked at me, making me roll my eyes at him again. I swear, my eyes were bound to fall out of my skull soon at this rate.

"No. Not when the friend is young enough to be your kid and looks like that." Jax was going into protective mode again, which was one of the most annoying things ever.

"I'm right here you know," I pointed out in an annoyed tone. "Thanks so much for thinking I'll let myself be used like a bar of soap at a coal miner's locker room."

I made to get up from Tig's lap, but his arm tightened around my waist, keeping me in from going anywhere. "Stop Anna, they're lookin' out for you. They know me and they love ya, I'd be saying the same shit if I saw you sittin' on another guy's lap."

His attempts at smoothing over my annoyance had an opposite effect. "Is everyone forgetting that I grew up in the club? I can more than handle myself around the guys, and Tig here? Puh-lease, I know him way too well to let it go beyond this. So I am saying in the nicest, meekest, most ladylike way I can, fuck off."

Tig burst into silent laughter, his chest rumbling behind me which had Jax shaking his head and Clay smirking. "That mouth of yours is gonna get ya in trouble Dollface, but ya made your point."

I opted not to say anything and just took back my mug of tea to drink it silently. My short temper always got me in trouble, and since I'd been living on my own, I because quite free with the things I said, and I wasn't going to apologize for it.

"Get over it Anna. I'm gonna go help Gemma and Tara moving the boxes." Jax threw me a look before he left, making me glower all the more. Needless to say, I was not happy.

Tig shifted me on his leg to get a little more comfortable, but didn't tell me to move. "How the meds workin' for ya Clay?"

"Yeaaa," he wiggled his fingers around, flexing them experimentally. "Grandma always knows how to make ya feel better."

Damn, my suspicion earlier about his arthritics acting up was right. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the very idea that Clay could possibly be getting older. He'd been this big, dangerous, indestructible man for as long as I could remember.

"You want me to get you anything Clay? Maybe make you something to eat?" I asked anxiously, feeling almost like a child again, wanting to make them feel better about whatever was bothering them again.

I had a feeling that Clay was reminded of that time too, cause he gave me the same smile he gave me back then. "Thanks Angel, I could go for some grub."

Just like before, I had a huge grin on my face as I stood up from Tig's lap and went around the counter. "You want something too Tig?"

"You're actually offering to make me a sandwich? Shit, you really are a woman now." Tig had the biggest smirk on his face and I was glaring daggers at him.

"Eat a dick, Asshole." Not that my retort had any effect since both him and Clay were laughing under their breaths.

Crap. I actually was going to make them sandwiches too.

I shook my head, trying not to grit my teeth in annoyance while searching the cupboard for other possible foods that had nothing to do with sandwiches.

When the two men that claimed they cared about me stopped laughing, they were talking in hushed voices while I made them food.

I settled for reheating the chili I cooked last night for dinner and adding extra salsa, sour cream, and cheese in the bowls. Clay loved my chili and I really didn't give a damn if Tig didn't want chili again, he was going to eat it and like it.

"Hey Jax!" I called loudly to get his attention since he was walking by with another box. "You want me to load up some chili for you?" I indicated to the steaming bowls that I just set in front of Clay and Tig, neither wasting any time to dig into it.

"Yea, thanks Anna." He gave me a small smile before he went to finish up helping. I figured I'll just make some of it for everyone.

"Damn Angel, I really missed your cooking. Exactly like your mom's," Clay said taking another spoonful. I really needed to stop feeling like someone dug a knife into my side whenever they compared me to my mom. I know they meant well, but my uncertainty about my position in their lives seemed to be put up on the stand every time they did that.

"Thank you." My voice was soft and I put all my concentration into loading up bowls for everyone, making Gemma's with only a little bit of spice and Jax and Tara's with none, as neither were a fan of spicy food.

Just as I had sat down with drinks for both Clay and Tig and they were both pretty much finished with their food, Clay's phone starts ringing.

He didn't hesitate to pick up. "Yea."

"...what? Aw shit. How many?"

Tig and I exchanged a worried glance before turning back to Clay, who now stood up.

"God damn... yea hang in there, I'll call everyone. You need anything extra?"

Tig and I both stood up as well at that point, listening intently and I was getting more anxious and impatient by the second.

"Yea... yea I got you on that." He glanced at me then and my heart sped up. "We're on our way."

Clay flipped the phone closed and looked at the two of us, shaking his head. "We got trouble. Seems the lady that sells the 'scrips is bein' taken over by some redneck tweakers that are shootin' up the place. There's at least ten of 'em, and only Piney, Bobby and Hap. They're armed, but they won't be holdin' 'em off for long."

My breath got caught in my throat. First my Godmother and now my Godfather. Wonderful.

"Anna, you gotta come with us," Clay said in a grave voice which made my heart hammer all the more. "We might need a fast car, and one where we can hide the drugs or anything else in that the cops won't find. You're gonna be wearin' a vest, but don't do anything without my say so."

I nodded my head, my eyes slightly glazed over. I swallowed hard and walked over to grab the black leather jacket that Gemma gave me. Clay and Tig were making some calls to round everyone up as I fixed up my long ponytail and slid my sunglasses on top of my head.

"C'mon we gotta go grab Jax,"Clay said, looking to the open door to the basement. Tig and him both rushed down there with me pushing my way in front of Tig, the adrenaline starting to get to me.

"Gotta go," was the first thing Clay said before we were even fully down the stairs. I glanced around quickly at the scene to see Tara turning away, a very pissed off Jax, and a slightly nervous Gemma.

"I'm dealin' with something." Oh yea, Jax was pissed. That was when I finally saw the wheelchair the nurse had been in. Oh shit. Not good, not good at all.

"Yea, so are Bobby and Piney." Tig was exchanging a look with Gemma and I recognized the uneasiness at hand as he figured it out too.

And of course, Clay noticed something was up to, looking from Jax to the rest of us. "What's going on?"

I bit my lip, bracing myself since I knew all too well the stormy look on Jax's face. "Apparently our lovely ladies," Damn, he was looking right at me too. "Whacked the caretaker. And this idiot-" He pointed to Tig, full on yelling then. "Helped them!"

Biting my lip harder, I dared glance at the bewildered look on Clay's face. "What?"

Tig practically had flashing guilty signs pointing at him with that look he had on his face. "Actually I just made a phone call." Oh brother.

"Jesus Christ." Clay let out a huge sigh, making me totally avoid his gaze and swallow hard again. "This." He pointed at the floor in the center of the room. "Later. Anna, let's go you need a vest."

I let out a long breath, following him up the stairs. He was not happy at all.

When we got to the kitchen, I opened up my mouth to explain and he held up his hand, stopping me before I said anything. "I don't wanna hear it now. You're gonna follow the three of us and if you see Tig wave back, that means you stay back and let us go ahead. I wouldn't be havin' you come with us if it weren't for the fact that we need a good driver with a fast car that ain't got a hot state plate on it."

Nodding my head, I stayed silent when Jax looked between me and Clay. "No. No I ain't risking her Clay, she's not going."

"We need her Jax, she'll be fine. Now let's go." The two of them went out to the front without another word, finally giving me the time to let out another long breath I hadn't realized I was holding. That did not go well, and I knew I was going to get shit too even if I had nothing to do with it. Jax was pissed at me, and I knew I was going to get shit for not telling him later on. At least now he knew how I felt.

To calm my nerves, tightened my ponytail and flipped my sunglasses down, adjusting them accordingly.

"Someone's dressed to kill." I glanced over at Tig, smiling at him to try and keep him from seeing how nervous I was about the whole thing and Piney being in trouble. He held a bulletproof vest in one hand and what I recognized as a Beretta in the other.

"This is one of Gemma's spares, if you tighten it, you'll be good. Keep this on no matter what, ya got that?" The only response he received was a nod, which seemed to satisfy him. "And this-" He held up the Beretta. "Is to be on you at all times too. You're a good shot, I taught you myself. When you need it, don't hesitate, use it."

Growing up with SAMCRO meant I was used to holding and handling a gun, but I had yet to be comfortable with the idea that I might have to shoot someone. I had a slight issue when it came to the thought of actually shooting, missing and possibly killing them or making things worse, but I would do if needed.

"Thank you." My tone was soft and quiet as I took off the jacket to put the vest on, tightening it on the sides to fit over my slim frame.

"Hey." I looked up at Tig who gave me a half smile and studied me with a concerned look. "Don't worry about this mess, you had nothing to do with it. Concentrate on this now, you're gonna be fine. We're gonna get Piney and the others outta there and nothing is gonna happen to you. Got it?"

When I nodded my head that time, I had a more genuine smile to offer. "Sir yes sir." I winked at him and slipped the Beretta into my jacket before I headed out with Tig.

My Firebird roared to life, louder than all the Harley's as I shifted gears to pull out. Ah this was my area, the one place in life that I excelled in and mastered. When I drove, it was like I became part of that monstrous machine, a soothing confidence flowing through me as my hands and legs moved with such expert ease that I knew I was meant to be driving.

When my mom died, I was a complete mess. I did things I completely regretted, and funny enough until I discovered that delicious adrenaline rush that came from driving down the road at over 100mph, I found a sort of peace.

When I was driving, a feeling like no other came over me, one that was tough to describe. It was like I could go anywhere, be anyone or anything, totally free from the bullshit and concerns of life. I was free from myself and all my inhibitions, just me, the car, and the road.

Even though we were speeding down the highway to get to Piney and the rest in time, I needed that speed, in the beginning, I kept up with the guys easily, my supped up engine needing little encouragement to keep at a decent pace with the Harleys.

Soon, more and more bikes started joining us on the road, some waving at me as they pulled up along Clay and the others. I hung back to let them all ride as a group, feeling that divine adrenaline pumping through my veins, stronger than any drug on the market.

I needed it, because the rock that formed in the pit of my stomach from the thought of something happening to Piney would have been too heavy to bear. As far as I was concerned, Piney couldn't mean more to me than if he was my father. He taught me to ride a bike, taught me how to put together a carburetor, and made sure I knew how to defend myself.

If something happened to him, I didn't know what I would do.

With my windows opened, I heard the shouts that we were close and to get ready. One of the Sons from the Rogue River Chapter, Blue if I remember correctly, brought his bike next to mine.

"Clay said to come in last on the main path to block it!" He shouted over the wind, receiving a nod of confirmation from me.

When he pulled forward I slowed down and took off my seat belt, double checking that I had the Beretta in arms reach. Ignoring the nerves, I hung about four cars back, waiting until the last of the bikes made a turn.

It was showtime. Hitting the gas, the noise from my engine must have echoed throughout the woods while both my hands and feet were moving rapidly to control the car.

I drove my car right into the dirt path and down the hill, keeping an eye out to not accidentally hit one of the Sons. Eying my target point right by where the van was parked, I went into action. I hit the clutch repetitively as one hand shifted gears and my other hand turned the wheel. The foot that wasn't controlling the clutch was alternating between holding the gas and hitting the breaks.

The car spun into a neat circle, sending a cloud of dirt in the air. I stopped the car when it was sideways on the path blocking it, the passenger side facing the group. Shifting into park and setting the parking brake, I wasted no time pushing myself up to sit on the ledge of my open window, turning my body to face the stupid rednecks where one of them had a rifle to _my_ Godfather's head.

My face was as stone serious as the rest of theirs when my hands gripping the Beretta stretched over the hood of my car, gun pointed right at the asswipe that was holding Piney hostage.

"You're move Fester." I wasn't sure who said it, but I didn't care. I was too focused on Piney's bloody lip and the bastard that was looking around like he was about to shit himself. My eye narrowed behind my sunglasses and I slid the safety off, not letting myself focus on anything other than the gun against Piney's temple. The idiot hicks might have been surrounded and outnumbered, but I still wouldn't put it past them to do something stupid.

And when they did, I'd be ready.

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**_Author's Note: _**

**Wow again thank you for all the feedback from all my reviewers that really inspired me to get into this chapter. I'm glad you all liked the interaction between Anna and Tig and felt it was true to character. This chapter was actually way longer, but when I saw it got to over 7,000 words, I decided to break it up and give you guys something a little before the school/work week starts up again. **

**Now before I answer my amazing reviewers I have a question for all of you that I would really appreciate an answer on as I am conflicting on it myself. For my story, how do you feel about me writing in the point of view of a character other than Anna? I wanted to make it so it was only from her eyes originally, but I'm thinking some things might be better explained if I did it for a short while from someone else's point of view.**

**-HOWEVER, I have read many stories where they did point of view changes and it threw off what was a perfectly good story. I don't know if the rest of you feel the same, but I would love some input. **

**This chapter is only a teaser for the things to come, and knowing life as I've been discovering as of late, the more reviews and notifications I see in my inbox on reviews and such the more excited I am to write, so hopefully you'll all have another chapter before Wednesday. I dug into the relationship between Anna and some of the core canons to give you all that feel for how they view her. Please let me know if I'm messing up the canons, as I know that's easily done and I don't want to take away from the personalities and depth that are portrayed on the show. I hope you like it!**

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**_ Alive at 2PM:_ I'm so glad you loved their banter, it was a blast to write. I think Anna and Tig have a very odd and unique relationship and I'm having a lot of fun developing. I'm pretty excited to see what happens with Anna's love life as well, as you'll find she's just a tad feisty and difficult. ;-) I hope you like this chapter as well and I hope to hear from you soon!**

**_ivy473:_ You're review put a huge smile on my face, as one of my goals with the story is to make sure that the emotion flows clearly and smoothly from the story not just from Anna, but the canons as well. I'm glad you approve of her relationship with Jax, as that one I had the hardest time with. They have more of a brother/sister thing than she does with Tig, who's closer to acting like her fist guy friend even though he knew her since she was wearing bows and pigtails in her hair. I hope you like her interactions here as well.**

**_Keptlady_:**** So glad that you liked the banter, I think those two are hilarious together, and I crack up how he drives Anna nuts. Thank you for the luck on my finals, its just a ton of papers and projects that hopefully won't have too much of my brain bleeding. Hope you like this update too!**

**_Bloody Havoc_:**** I always get a huge smile on my face when I see a new reviewer, I'm so glad you liked it that much. Let me know if you have any issues or anything with how the story goes, as I love to hear others opinion. I hope this chapter gives you a temporary fix until the next one. ^_^**

_**CGandJaz:**_** I'm taking the shot in the dark and assuming you're the same Jaz from my last chapter's review, and if so thank you again for inspiring me to write and getting me excited to write again. If not, I still thank you and you're awesome for doing so. Enjoy this chapter too and thanks again for the review!**

**_JJ-Jefferu_:**** Tig cracks me up, I swear he gets the most amazing lines in the show, and his complexity just amazes me. I adore Happy too, just for his entire persona, but between him and Tig he's definitely the most serious one. There's another banter here that I'm hoping you'll like as well, and thanks so much for the feedback. Enjoy!**

**Magdalene: No lie, I got really excited to see you reviewed again just for the name alone. I am still on a crazy high from the finale, just oh wow I can't believe it was that amazing. What I love is that pretty much everything that happened in the season was with Gemma in mind, and that to me is just awesome because that really showed the love between this club and those associated with it. I think this season was more about family than any of the other ones, which I totally loved. Moving on though, I am glad that chapter helped you understand Anna a little bit better, and I have hopes that this one will as well. She's complex in her own light and there is a lot of things underneath her sarcastic and cheeky nature, which I am slowly bringing out in the chapters as to not overwhelm anyone. You also made me smile big and after your review I must have written at least half of this chapter as I got really happy that I didn't disappoint with Jax. Thanks so much for the review, and your feedback is much appreciated, and not just cause of the awesome name. ;-)**

_**Vigilant Reader:**_** Well what can I say, thank you for the long and detailed review! I saw some of the stories on your favorites list and you picked out some really amazing ones! (well those that I read at least) and I'm honored to be on that list. It made me really happy to hear that I am keeping close to the canon's personalities, and was thrilled that you liked Anna's relationship with them. The importance of family is a central belief for Anna as well, since left and right she's been losing her family and she wants to hold on to what she has left no matter what the cost. I am really glad that you like the way I am portraying it. As for Tig and Anna... hmm you might be on to something about their relationship, but a good storyteller knows how to keep her fans guessing ;-). As the story progresses, more will be revealed about her relationship with Tig and what fuels that comradeship, as well as her relationship with the other characters. I am honored that you like Anna that much, as I put a lot of thought into her core character and I love what she's turning into. This chapter and the upcoming one especially will be heavy and I look forward to hearing what you have to say about it. Thanks so much for reading!**

**_Cat Lea Takersdarkone_:**** First off, I apologize as I tried to PM you back but it was being insubordinate and would not go through. It made me happy that you liked her interactions with Tig, as I hope and plan to put more of them in the future. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this one as well!**

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**Once again, a shout out to all those who subscribed and put my story in their favorites, that to me is a huge compliment as well. **

**Thank you all again for reading, and hopefully I'll be pushed by inspiration to go on another crazy writing spree and have another long chapter up in a couple of days. Feedback, thoughts, complaints, and all is appreciated and welcomed, as they really do make my day. Hopefully this chapter will get you anticipating what's to come, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts on it!**


	7. Un'Happy' Reunions

Those inbred shitheads must have had some brains though, because the next thing they did was lower their weapons. I didn't move from my position until the Sons disarmed every single one of them. My heart was hammering so loud in my chest it was all I could hear as my eyes were trained on Piney and the rest of the Sons, gun still pointed and ready to shoot if needed to protect my family.

Only when I was positive that all those filthy assnuts were controlled did I relax my posture, only to look at my arms and see they started to shake slightly. A quiet, long breath escaped me, my eyes fluttering close for just a moment to get a grip on myself again. Carefully, I slid the safety back on and took a second to relax.

I knew how to use a gun obviously, my brother and Jax had Tig teach me when I was fifteen. They were getting worried about my recklessness with sneaking out of the house and disappearing for days at a time, so Aaron finally decided that instead of staying in the cycle of them worrying about me and yelling at me, they'd just teach me to defend myself just in case.

According to Tig, I was a pretty good shot, and I had a good balance with a knife too. Just because I could do it, didn't mean I liked it. I was more comfortable with a knife sometimes than a gun, that much I knew. There were some horrible lessons where he forced me to point the gun at him, having me shot at a target far too close to him.

The first couple of times, I couldn't do it and it left me in a trembling mess that I had tried to vainly hide. I knew what damage a single bullet could do, and being forced to point it at someone I cared about was too much for me to handle at the time.

Looking back on it the though, I realized that it was a very good thing that Tig didn't give up on me then. If he had, I didn't think I'd have been able to have my gun aimed at a guy that was so close to Piney just then, and I knew that if I had to, I would have shot at the hick if it meant protecting my Godfather.

It didn't take me more than a couple of seconds to get a grip on myself and I immediately went into action as the Sons rounded up the inbred junkies. Sliding into the car, I tucked the Beretta into the back of my jeans and reached under my passenger seat to pull out a medium sized First Aid kit,

Being in the racing business, I constantly needed to keep it stocked and in my car as it came in handy more often that many would expect. I was glad I had it then, because there was one person in particular who needed it.

"Piney!" I practically yelled with a beaming smile on my face when I weaved through the guys to get to my Godfather. He was just as badass as my Godmother, he was on oxygen and he still kicked ass and took names.

"Jesus Christ, look at you! Get over here Angel!" Despite my protests to take care of him first, he scooped me up in a big hug. His massive, meaty arms and the distinct smell of Old Spice made that warmth that came with home complete.

The large and intimidating man that many were actually quite frightened of took care of me like no one else could. He stepped up the plate when my dad left and became more of a father to me than he could have been if he actually was my father.

"Lemme look at ya better." Piney held me out, not smiling anymore but looking me up and down before reaching over and taking off my sunglasses. "Ah those eyes. Your mama would be lovin' it, you got her face and the same unnaturally big eyes that made guys trip over themselves." He frowned now and handed me back my sunglasses hurriedly. "Put 'em on Angel."

I had to laugh and I hugged him again. "Missed you!" It was impossible for me not to keep the smile on my face. I was home again, really and truly home with my family surrounding me and in the arms of my surrogate father.

"Did you hear the news?" He raised his eyebrows, prompting me to continue. "I'm home for good now." A slight grin made its way across his features and he reached out to squeeze my shoulder. "It's about time."

"Yea well someone has to take care of you crazy asses. Now sit down please, I need to clean that lip of yours." I could tell her was amused by the way I was fussing, but I didn't hear a word of protest as I set down the First Aid kit on the seat of one of the bikes and got to work.

I used a peroxide soaked gauze to clean the blood from his chin and lips, dabbing it carefully to make sure to get all the dirt and blood off. "I swear I don't know how you guys survived without me. I'm here for three days, three god damn days and frankly I'm surprised you all still have your limbs attached."

The smirk on Piney's face as I ranted and fussed over him made it really hard for me to not laugh and concentrate on my task. "Good to have ya back kiddo, ya can be my personal nurse." I shook my head with a smile and finished up cleaning his lip, though it was still bleeding a little.

"Personal nurse huh? I don't come cheap you know." My lips had twisted up into a smirk as I studied Piney's face to make sure I got it all.

"Do ye take payment in beer an' a hug frem a Scotsman?" The thick accent was unmistakable and a small gasp escaped me when I whipped my head around, the thick curls from my ponytail almost hitting Piney in the face.

"CHIBS!" I launched myself into the waiting arms of the tall Irish Scotsman. I adored him, like really truly adored him to the point where he was my first crush when I was about eight years old.

Chibs was just as ecstatic as I was, as he picked me up in a hug and swung me around, laughing that wonderful delighted laugh. Even his laugh had an accent, damn. "Anna Lassy! Look at ye! I can' bloody believe it!"

It was impossible for me not to smile after that kind of greeting, and the practically bone crushing hug that came with it. I had not seen Chibs since months ago, AFTER he got out of the hospital. I still hadn't forgiven Jax and Clay on that one, but I did manage to drive up for two days to make sure he was alright. Jax was the one who told me I had to get out of there then because things were getting too dangerous.

God Forbid I protect myself you know.

"I missed you like crazy!" I buried my face in his shoulder as he lowered me so I could stand on my feet again. Squeezing him one last time, I pulled back with my usually cheeky grin that I had whenever I was going to make a brazen comment.

"Did I ever tell you that I would be one happy girl if I could just sit and listen to you speak all day? Your accent, good sir, makes a girl want to do wicked, wicked things." I flipped my sunglasses on top of my head and my hands moved to the collar of his cut, grabbing the worn leather and tugging on it.

"Je'us Christ Love, yer gonna git me in trouble if ya keep talkin' like tha'. 'Specially wit them eyes of yers, never in my life have I seen bigger eyes, 'cept yer mum o' course." Chibs looked surprised and just slightly flushed, making me smirk and totally warm up to the fact that I started dressing in my form fitting clothing.

"Am here I thought you were a man who liked a little trouble." I made myself pout slightly to keep the grin from overtaking my face at the fun I was having.

Chibs shook his head at me, the beaming smile on his face was contagious. "Trouble I like Love, but ye are bloody dangerous to any lad here." I had to laugh at that, I had to give it to Chibs, he was damn clever and quick.

His hands moved from around my waist and he slung an arm around me, a big grin in addition to his Glasgow smile. "Lookie here boys, we got an Angel among us!" Still laughing I shook my head at some of the comments, vaguely hearing Clay say "hands off her," in his low gruff voice.

"Angel? I see no angel." I looked over to the side, the biting my lips to keep from looking like too big of a dork with the huge grin on my face when I saw Bobby walking up to us. "She's a Devil in Disguise. Thank ya very much." Ah his classic Elvis voice, it never failed to make me giggle.

"Heya Elvis, oops, I mean Bobby. You know with that voice, I can never be sure." I moved from Chibs to Bobby, completely excited at that point when the next people to come into view were the rest of the club. I pretty much went on a huge hugging spree then, which despite my affectionate ways was strange as I didn't think I'd ever given so much hugs at the same time.

Opie was the next person I hugged, and damn did I love that guy. Jax, Aaron, and him were like 'The Three Musketeers' growing up, and I was the tag along. Out of all of them, Opie had always been the sweetest and nicest to me, and would usually be the one to tell the others to stop teasing me. To this day he was still a sweetheart, for the most part since he was prone to having asshole outbursts, but then again everyone did.

When Donna died, my heart broke for him. I loved the girl to death, she was my babysitter growing up, but she was always on the fiery side. That was why I was surprised when her and Opie ended up together, but I had a feeling even beforehand that she wasn't cut out for club life. She had a skewed idea of it, probably because she saw how protected I was and didn't realize the real danger behind club life. She got burned in the end though, and that was a true tragedy.

Before I knew it, Juice had scooped me up in a hug as well. He was the closest to my age from all the Sons, and one of the few members that looked at me as _me_ and not my mother. That's what I liked best, since he never knew my mother and only knew me. I liked it because it felt like he genuinely liked me because of who I was, not because my mom was one of the original Old Ladies of SAMCRO.

"Alright, alright, enough of this huggy, touchy, feely touch shit," Clay's voice cut through, yanking Juice away from me and abruptly ending our hug. The way he was openly glaring at Juice made me sigh in exasperation. "Subtle Clay, real subtle."

Clay gave me a glare, barking orders to the other members to get the hicks on the ground and search the trucks. "Ya think you can wait till we get back to the clubhouse before you make 'em all melt?"

I tried to make myself look as innocent as possible, blinking up at him and this time purposely mimicking the smile I remembered my mom would always give him. "Yes sir!"

He knew me all too well though, and all I got was a warning look before he walked away to talk to Jax. I knew that I got away with far more than anyone else would when it came to the club, but I was the Club Angel, as my mom had been the Club Princess and Gemma the Queen. It was a different set of rules for me than there were for the other kids that grew up in SAMCRO.

"It took me a little while to figure out it was you." Aw shit, I would know that raspy voice anywhere, much to my misfortune. I looked to the side to see one of my least favorite Sons, the club's enforcer who couldn't seem to stay with his chapter.

Happy stood there, dark smirk on his face that I was pretty sure he reserved just for me whenever he was trying to piss me off. Tig teased me all the time, but I knew that he didn't mean it and I loved that guy, but Happy was another story. He gave me shit just for the sake of being a dick, and he insulted me on every low point he could find.

There were serial killers that I would rather be in the company of that the Self-Named Paradox in front of me, not that it would be much of a difference anyways.

"You actually look like a girl." His dark smirk was growing, forcing a stoney demeanor to come over me as I looked back at him with flashing eyes. It was a serious effort to bite my tongue and keep my short temper at bay.

"What a coincidence," I started in a cool tone, crossing my arms over my chest. "I was going to say the same thing to you."

My eyebrows raised in challenge, making him snarl in response. I was well aware that I was in dangerous territory by mouthing off to him, but I didn't give a shit. He wanted to start with me, fine. He could start, and I'll finish.

"You might look more like a lady, but ya still got too much trash coming outta your mouth, little girl." He did not just call me that. I hated, HATED when some macho asshole called me condescending names to try and make themselves look tougher.

It was a serious struggle to keep from lashing out in total anger, but when it came to Happy I had to keep my cool, beat him in his own game. That was the only way to handle a macho prick like him. "Wow Happy, I didn't know you had such high standards. I suppose that means I should be more like the girls you keep company with huh? I'll stop by the street corner later and ask Destiny for some tips on clothing and proper table etiquette."

His eyes were blazing in anger much like I imagined mine where, the two of us staring each other down in the midst of all the movement. I knew the only reason he probably hadn't hit me at that point was because he'd be pumped full of lead within seconds, and as much as I preferred standing up for myself, I seriously enjoyed the fact that he could do nothing but use words against me. It probably drove him crazy as much as it amused me.

His breathing got heavier and we were now definitely in each others face, and not in a good way. "You're messin' with the wrong person, Girly. Didn't they send you away from being this big of a Pain-In-The-Ass? Whatsa matter, couldn't make it in the big, scary world?"

I hated him. I wanted to slap that look off his face.

"Aw I couldn't stay away _Happy_," My voice went sugary sweet and condescending, as if I was talking to a kid having a temper tantrum. "I just missed you oh so much, and I love your warm, welcoming presence and intelligent conversation too much to stay away. You're like a truckload of hugs and bunnies, no wonder your name is Happy."

By then I was definitely sure that had I been any other girl I'd probably be sporting a hell of a shiner by that point from the look on Happy's face. A part of me felt just a little bit of fear, but I learned a long time ago that to show a person fear was giving them an upper hand, and in that case I would shave my head before I gave Happy that upper hand.

"Yer feelin' really brave aren't ya? Usin' the club as a shield to hide behind. If ya talked like this to the thugs ya roll with racin' metal, that pretty little mouth of yours wouldn' be so pretty." His raspy voice was angry and his dark eyes almost glowed at this point from anger and annoyance.

Alright that comment stung, if only because it was true for the most part. I was usually smart about the people I mouthed off to if I could help it, and had I met Happy on the street I would have shut my mouth a long time ago, but if he thought that I was going to let him get away with treating me like crap, he had another thing coming.

We glared hard at each other in a heated staring contest, as if the first person who blinked was the weaker one. Eyes blazing in anger, my hands molding into fists despite my crossed arms and both of us breathing hard.

"Hey! Break it up. Now!" Tig pushed himself between us, making distance between us and breaking up our angry staring contest. "This ain't the time for this, and Clay will have both your asses if you keep up this playground bullshit."

Happy's hateful stare was still trained on me as lips curled up into a a dark smirk. I glared at him back before my lips twisted into that sugary sweet condescending smile I liked to use when I was being sweetly bitchy.

"Sorry Tig, I must have lost myself for a moment." My eyes left Happy and moved to Tig, keeping the venomous smile on face. "I forget sometimes that I never did well in Psychology for those with special needs."

"Anna! Stop." Tig's voice was firm and serious enough for me to shut my mouth, looking away from him, still angry about dealing with the tattooed ape.

From the corner of my eye, I saw a look of smug amusement on Happy's face. "I'm impressed Killah, you got the bitch trained well. She do any tricks other than the ones she turns?"

My head whipped around to glare at him in a rage, my control on my short temper slipping. "Hap! Fuckin' knock it off, I ain't playin'." Tig glared at his friend them, the two of them staring at each other in silent conversation.

It was then that I noticed that pretty much all the Sons that weren't doing anything were focused on the three of us. Crap, that just made the situation completely perfect.

"There a problem here?" Clay came up next to Tig, looking between me and Happy, the look on his face was far from amused.

"No, there ain't no problem is there?" Tig looked at Happy and me as he said that, prompting us to respond.

I shrugged casually, trying to look as calm and cool as possible. "Nope, everything's perfectly fine Clay. Just a heated conversation." My tone was cool and I refused to look at Happy through the whole thing.

Clay looked over at Happy expectantly, waiting for him to say something. "Na, no problem Clay. Jus' talkin'.

"Good to know." Clay narrowed his eyes at both of us, the look he gave us had a clear message for us to cut the bullshit and he didn't want to see it. "Anna, go get your car ready, we're stashing the 'scrips in there in case we get stopped. You two, get your shit together, we're leaving soon."

I nodded to Clay, watching him walk away before I turned on my heel and headed toward the car.

"Hap it's been six years, you're really still holdin' on to that stupid ass grudge?" I heard Tig ask as I walked toward my car. I didn't stay to hear Happy's reply, I was too angry to want to be near anyone, _especially _him.

Happy pretty much couldn't stand me from the moment we met, which admittedly weren't under ideal circumstances. I was messed up pretty bad, since at that time my brother had been out of contact with anyone for almost a year, undergoing some kind of mission over seas for the Marine Corps, and the traumatizing from my mom's death has still been very fresh to me, even by the time I was sixteen.

I opened the trunk of my car, carefully peeling back the carefully hidden lining of the trunk where I kept my spare tire and underneath the tire toward the back was another compartment I had installed, just in case. My anger didn't shake off as I performed the tedious task, my mind flashing back to when the whole thing started.

It was stupid really, the fact that he still hated me over something that happened six years ago when I was still a stupid kid with a lot of problems and a lack of emotional stability or control. I had been sixteen for Christ's sake, everyone did stupid shit around that age. Granted what I had done was pretty stupid, but I copped to it and apologized, but it was impossible to talk to that jackass.

Even back then, I chastised myself for being so reckless and stupid about everything, When Gemma and I spent the whole day trying to get in contact with my brother wherever he was overseas and had been unreachable for months. The man we were talking to that Aaron had been missing from contact for a month, and I assumed the worst. Later on I learned that I misinterpreted the words, but at the time I had been pretty convinced I lost my brother as well.

Being sixteen and stupid, I took my brother's '82 Chevy and drove out to Fresno, raced for kicks, got totally wasted and trashed like never before. I ended up hooking up with some nineteen year old metal head and like an idiot drove home trashed with an equally trashed guy that had a problem keeping his hands to himself.

To make a long story short, I drove back to Charming still totally wasted, half attempting to watch the road, half making out with the guy next to me. In my stupor, I had driven to Teller-Morrow Auto, where they were having a party that night, lost control of the car when I broke the clutch on the car and was too out of it to find the parking breaking, and ended up crashing right into a parked Harley so hard that pieces of the bike literally went flying into the air. I had panicked and wheeled the car around, smashing right into the side of the garage.

And of course, it had been Happy's bike I crashed into and completely demolished.

It didn't matter that I felt horrible about it and tried to apologize profusely, it didn't matter that I worked long hours for over a year and a half to pay back Clay for the new bike he bought Happy as a replacement, he still hated me and made sure I never forgot it. What I hated the most is for the first year, I took all the insults, sneers, and dirty looks he threw my way, but they never stopped. I could only take so much and it was damn more than I would have tolerated from anyone else before I started dishing it back.

Also, for some reason I thought he had an issue with my relationship with Tig as well, mainly because I would catch him giving us lethal death glares whenever he had been around and me and Tig were hanging out. When I was younger, it might have been because the two of them call each other brothers, and I was taking up too much of Tig's attention. When I turned eighteen, he probably thought that our flirting would turn into something more or whatever. I didn't know for sure, but I was positive he had an issue with me hanging around Tig.

It only escalated from there, a mutual hate formed over a mistake. I avoided him at all cost, but I never backed down when he decided to give me shit. I never understood how he was generally quiet around the others and avoided starting trouble among the Sons, but always sought me out over a stupid grudge from a stupid mistake. Whatever, as far as I was concerned he could go fuck himself.

"Love! Ye ready over dere?" I turned around to send Chibs a small smile with a nod, acting as nonchalant as possible, not letting Happy get to me. "Ready and waiting, Gorgeous." I winked at him and was delighted by the way he clutched his heart.

The one great thing about these guys was that I could play around with them like that and they didn't assume I wanted to jump into bed with them. According to Clay, that was Tig's influence on me.

"You ready?" Clay came up behind me and looked inside the trunk, laughing under his breath the other guys wolf whistled. My eyes slid over to see Piney getting cozy with that sweet looking lady that was with them and I had to smile while I shook my head at the typical behavior.

"Chibs! You and the other two bring the 'scrips!" Clay put his sunglasses in his pocket and inspected my compartment carefully. One of my mechanic buddies cut it in for me by hollowing out the rear seats when we were rebuilding it. It had initially been a mistake, since he worked on a lot of drug running cars, but it turned out in my favor when I started using it to hide my money from the wins. L.A. and Frisco cops started pulling over supped up cars to check for cash or any evidence of racing.

"This is nice. Really nice." Clay poked his head back out from inspecting the compartment. "You had some real good hookups on the streets Angel. Bobby! Come look at this!"

I stepped aside, totally ignoring Happy while Clay showed the three of them my hidden compartment. Crossing my arms, I leaned against my car as they all felt out the compartment and started carefully placing the stash there.

"Good fit too. Gotta say I'm pretty impressed kiddo." Bobby's head was nodding with the same look of satisfaction that Clay had. "Let's see you close it up."

A smirk made it's way on my face when I looked between the guys, except Happy, though I saw in my peripheral vision that he was giving me a dark look. He could kiss my ass though, I wasn't going to him the satisfaction of getting under my skin.

"These hooks right here need to be twisted to get in lock position." I demonstrated as I showed them how to do it. "Then slide this forward..." I slid the board that covered the prescriptions from view and pushed it so it clicked in place. "Then I slide the first layer of trunk lining in place... and then put the tire straight on top of it... Thanks Chibs!"

I flashed him a sweet smile when he lifted the tire for me to put it in place. I always appreciated a gentleman. "They you just cover the spare with the top lining... and you're done. No one can open it unless they know how to undo the locks, and as I had learned its a different key for every mechanic, so it's rare anyone around here would know where to look."

Throwing my the bag I brought from home in the trunk, I looked over at Clay with a triumphant smile. "Good enough?"

"More than good, Angel. You're a Godsend, we got enough shit on our heads without worryin' about bein' pulled over and the cops adding drug trafficking to our charges." Clay had a small smile on his face, closing my trunk for me.

"Looks like we're good then." Bobby patted my hood and began walking away just as Jax stepped up.

"No we ain't good." Jax glared hard at me, turning to Clay with the same glare. "You want her to ride all the way back with expensive drugs and no protection? You ain't going alone." He pointed at me when he said that, the expression on his face left no room for argument. "It's too dangerous."

Someone let out a scoff next to me. My eyes darted to Happy, staring daggers at him. "Especially if you're the one drivin', huh girly?" He muttered to me in a low voice, though I could tell that everyone else heard him. God I couldn't stand him.

Clay on the other hand, exchanged a look with Jax and shrugged his shoulders. "You're right, Hap you just volunteered."

My eyes widened in horror, staring at Clay blankly.

"Go put your bike in the van-" "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I interrupted him flat out, very well aware that I was stepping out of line but in this case I didn't care. "You want _me_ to spend hours in an enclosed space with _him_? Clay you can't be serious."

He raised his eyebrows at me, the silent look making me lapse into sullen angry silence.

Tig stepped up then, his eyes darting from me to Happy. "Clay why don't I go instead I got better-" "No. Happy's gonna ride with her and they're both gonna get back in one piece. We clear on that?"

Clay looked from me to Happy and back expectantly. Begrudgingly, I nodded my head, my lips formed a pout in protest. "Crystal." I was not going to hide my unhappiness.

At least I knew that _he_ shared my sentiments, since his only response to Clay was a nod of his head. From the corner of my eye, I saw that Happy looked far from pleased.

I walked over to the driver's side of my car, trying really hard not to stomp in a fit. Though I would never admit it out loud or let it show, I was a little nervous to be in a car alone with Happy. He was a scary guy, and I knew perfectly well why him and Tig were close.

A shudder ran through me at the memory of having caught the two of them cleaning the blood off their arms and faces when I was seventeen. I had a good idea of what both of them were capable of, but I knew Tig had some heart just from the way he treated me and several others. With Happy it was impossible to tell if he had the capability to care about a person, at least from what I knew of him.

Buckling my seat belt, I started my baby up, relaxing slightly at the roar of the engine. Hopefully the ride will be silent with the two of us completely ignoring each other. I didn't want anything to do with him, and it was pretty obvious the feeling was mutual.

The passenger door opened and Happy slid into the seat without a word, shutting the door behind him and of course being too cool to put his seat belt on. He rolled down the window and took out a cigarette to light up.

The only sound made was the rumbling roar of my engine as I turned my baby around with ease. I waited for the Sons to pass before I took off after them.

Keeping my eyes solely on the road, I did all I could to try and let myself relax. It seemed like both of us were doing all we could to not look at one another, the only sounds that echoed through the car was the sound of my baby's engine and me shifting gears.

This was going to be a long ride.

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**_Authors Note:_ Okay, before you all panic and freak out that Happy and Anna hate each other, think about it logically. Anna has a strong personality and she was pretty messed up in her teens. Happy, as much as I love him, doesn't have a forgiving personality. He would definitely hold a grudge over something like that, and since he knew her when she was a teenager, I don't imagine he enjoyed her presence as much as the other guys did. Neither of them would back down, so it's natural for them to clash.**

**Also, keep in mind that this little feud has been six years in the making. There's only so much a girl can take. **

**I am breaking here for this chapter as well, as when I saw I was at 5,000 words, I figured I'd put it up and give you guys something to read. Thank you to all those that answered my question on point of view changes, that completely helped me a lot.**

**I was a bit nervous about this chapter, and I must have checked it at least ten times to make sure that I did a decent job of portraying the canons. I would actually really appreciate feedback on that, as it would ease my mind as to what to do for future chapters.**

**Don't freak out, there is way more to come and I'm actually really looking forward to finishing the next Chapter.**

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_** Christina: **_**I'm glad you like the portrayal of Anna, I mean she's scrappy thing, but as you see she's still nervous about being apart of the violence. I know this might not be what you expect to see with Anna and Happy meeting, but I assure you it's only the start and there is more to come with those two. Not all friendships or relationships start out on ideal terms, and sometimes its the rough patches that make it worth it. Let me know your thoughts on this meeting, I'm curious on what you think.**

_**Alive at 2PM: **_**Ah yes, driving is Anna's thing. It's her salvation in a way, and I'm glad you appreciate it. As big as family is for Anna, as you see through this chapter it's not always roses and sunshine. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Your reviews make me happy.**

_**dumblonde08:**_** Well I suppose this in a way answers your question. To be honest, at the start of the story I wasn't too sure, because it all depends on me writing as I go along. It would be whoever Anna has the**** most chemistry with, and as of now it looks like it's Happy. Though they don't get along, there are definitely sparks. **

_** CGandJaz: **_**I'm glad you like Anna as a whole, it makes me smile as do your comments! Well here's part two for you, a bit surprising and intense I imagine, but its only leading up to a very interesting part three. Thanks again for reading and your feedback I always get really excited when I see a review from you so that makes you awesome.**

_**Magdalene:**_** Thanks for your input on the point of view thing, it really helped out with my writing. Here's another cliffie for you, though not exactly on the same note as the last one (eep) Thank you for the feedback on Anna's interactions with the characters. It's always the point that I worry about best, but all those guys have that soft side to them and I imagine how they would treat a girl they've all known since her birth. I try to make her relationship with the Sons as realistic as possible given their personalities and nature. Thank you for the amazing feedback, and I still get excited when I read your name. Seriously awesome.**

_**HermioneandMarcus: **_**Thank you for the encouragement and the feedback, enjoy the chapter!**

_**DawnTully: **_**Well I guess I know who you're rooting for. Like I said in my note, don't fret because they don't get along at the moment. You have a very insightful opinion on Happy and the type of girl that's good for him. Stick around to see what happens there! ;-)**

_**JJ-Jefferu: **_**Tig is the man, and unfortunately there was no banter between Anna and Tig in this chapter, but that doesn't mean there won't be in the future. Tig has a knack for either causing situations or breaking them up. Gotta love that guy.**

_**Vigilant Reader: **_**Your reviews are seriously awesome. I love how you go in depth on your opinion and allow me to see the story objectively. I had that same idea in mind about Anna's relationship with the Sons. Jax does act like an older brother, as you see in this chapter. I imagine that after he lost his younger brother, he clung to Anna a bit more than he would have otherwise, that's why he's so protective of her. I look forward to hearing what you have to say about this chapter. Take that for a curveball! Your take on Anna and Tig's relationship is spot on! You are very observant, which is just plain out awesome. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this chapter.**

_**Cat Lea Takersdarkone**__: _**Anna definitely doesn't mince words and from this chapter you could see she has no problem having her say. Here's a new kind of interaction that Anna has with one of the Sons, that's not exactly like her and Tig's banter. I hope you like the chapter and i'm glad you're enjoying the story! Thank you for the feedback and I love hearing from you!**

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**Reviews would be wonderful for this chapter as I admit I was a little uneasy about it. I will strive to have the next chapter finished by the end of the week. Brace yourself, it will be heavy. **

**Thank you all for reading! **


	8. Pushing Too Many Buttons

The sounds of the radio played in the background, the vibrations and echos of the engine humming loudly as I drove behind the Sons. The atmosphere in the car was so tense that I thought the music might just help me ignore the man that made crocodiles look friendly.

It didn't work.

If cruising down the highway with the power of the V8 fueling pure American muscle at my fingertips didn't soothe my mood, annoying sounds of some new up and coming hip hop artists singing about what they wanted to do to some girl in a club definitely wasn't helping.

After trying my best to deal with it for a solid half hour of the tense silence replaced with that god-awful music, I couldn't take it anymore. I was already extremely pissed off at Clay for sticking me with Inky the Raging Ape, I didn't need to hear about a guy singing about what a fine ass some chick had.

My fingers slammed hard on the radio, turning it off with irritation plain as day on my face. In my peripheral vision, I saw Happy studying me intently. I kept right on ignoring him and slid in the MP3 cassette in, and tuned my MP3 player on to my Lynard Skynard Albums. I visibly sighed with relief and maybe even the slightest bit of contentment when 'Gimme Back My Bullets' started blaring through the speakers.

I heard a slight grunt come from Happy, which in turn made me sigh in immediate irritation. "What?" My voice came out in a blatantly annoyed, hissing tone.

"Surprised you know good music." The rasp in his voice was condescending and malicious, making me grip the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white.

"Yea, it would be surprising. I mean they only play it on a regular basis at the garage, who would think I'd take a liking to it?" I spat in a voice dripping with sarcasm, keeping my eyes on the road.

Instead of another grunt, he actually full on scoffed, adding extra volume to it as if to make a point. "The fact that you're even allowed is a god damn surprise. That place ain't for brats."

I was gritting my teeth, eyes narrowed and staring hard at the road. "Yet they let you in there." My tone was rolled in venom, barely keeping my temper in check. He was seriously testing me, and I didn't know how much longer I could control my temper before I exploded on him.

"You needa learn your damn place. And while you're at it get a new attitude," Happy savagely snarled back at me, my eyes for one moment flicked nervously to gun that was stuck into the waistband of his jeans. I forced my posture to remain defensive and unfazed, reminding myself not to give him any satisfaction that he affected me.

"And you're going to be the one to teach me? Get over yourself, Asshole." The control on my temper was slipping, and I had to really force myself to concentrate on the road and tried to focus on my driving.

At the corner of my eye, I saw Happy turn his head and look right at me with a glare. "I ain't the one that needs to get over myself. You come into the damn garage, back into the club's lives whenever you want, prancing around wearing their shirts and kissin' up to all of 'em. Damn disgusting that you got 'em wrapped around your finger like that, and you've barely been around when shit got heavy last year. Was racin' metal and suckin' off thugs takin' too much of your time? Fuckin' pathetic that they even-"

"The only fucking pathetic thing is your god damn ego! You don't know shit you stupid son of a bitch!" I was fuming with anger, all control be damned. "You need to get one thing straight in that over-sized, close-minded head of yours, whether you like it or not, SAMCRO is my god damn family! I didn't wait a whole fucking year and do shitty tasks before they accepted me, I was born into the club, it's in my blood! You think I'm thrilled that I wasn't around when Donna died? That I wasn't there for Opie as much as I should have been? That I wasn't there for Gemma a couple of months back, or for Jax when this whole thing with Abel went down? I fucking hate myself for it!"

I had to seriously be careful then, because the burning sensation of crying was stinging in the back of my eyes and my voice rose an octave at the last part. Happy had enough ammo against me without having to see me get emotional. "You don't know jack shit about me, and you're obviously too blind to see how much I love all of them. They're the only family I've ever known, and I'm damn grateful that I have them. You are in absolutely no place to fucking tell me to get over myself or insinuate that I wasn't there for them. Not only was I told to stay away, I wasn't exactly keen on coming back either."

My breathing was heavy and I actually turned my head away from the road for a moment only to see Happy looking at me with an unreadable expression. "On that note, YOU were one BIG damn reason that I didn't want to come home. Coming home to a place where I'm supposed to be surrounded by family, feel safe, and get a break from the crazy shit isn't possible with a psychotic asswipe insulting me left and right and constantly giving me looks to kill."

"You know what?" A breathy laugh of disbelief left my lips, my head shaking to match the slight revelation I was feeling. "You not only need to get over yourself, you need to grow up. It's been six years, **six years! **I was only sixteen, and I did a really stupid and irresponsible thing, and I own up to that. Everyone did stupid things back then, and I know you can't be an exception. That whole day..."

I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to hold back those emotions. The whole time, I managed to keep an even and calm motion when driving, my body naturally reacting to the car. "It doesn't even matter, you don't care what I went through that led me to go get that fucked up in the first place, all you care about is your ruined bike. I worked off the money I owed Clay, I apologized to you more times than I probably should have, and on top of all that, I have taken your shit for over a year before I started giving it back. There's nothing else left for me to do to make up for that one stupid screw up. If you want to keep that grudge you had against me for something stupid I did as a teenager, fine that's on you, but I'm done. I'm fucking done." I had an odd smile on my face, biting my lip while I just shook my head and stared at the road.

"I'm not letting your pettiness be a reason to keep me away from my family. Whether you like it or not, SAMCRO is my family by blood, and I'm not leaving, not again, and especially not because of you." My voice was steady and forceful by then, eyes glued to the road as I willed any tears that might fall to stay back.

I didn't look at Happy, but I heard an annoyed grunt come from him. "Finished with your little temper tantrum, Princess?"

"Whatever." I kept my tone neutral, refusing to allow him to spark my temper again.

I hated him. I hated him because he made me hate myself even more. My mom always used to tell me that there was no greater crime than to be untrue to yourself and turn away from what you knew in your heart was right. Because of my pain with losing her, my refusal to allow those who loved me to help me work through that pain, and my nervousness and apprehension of being around Happy, I turned away from my family, one of the few things that ever felt right in my heart.

When Gemma had told me everything that first night, a stabbing pain had gone through my heart at the thought that I could have lost all of them, and I wouldn't have been able to do anything to prevent it. Growing up in SAMCRO, the number one lesson is that nothing and no one comes before family. For family, we do anything possible to protect and help.

I grew up living next door to the Teller's and later the Teller-Morrow's. Everyday of my life from the moment I was born, I had been surrounded by SAMCRO. Nobody outside the club could possibly understand how seriously they took the idea of family. There was never a moment growing up that I didn't feel loved. There was always someone around to give me a hug, to play with me, to teach me things, to just keep my company.

I was my mom's little angel, I did and went practically everywhere with her. Even when my father was around, I was always a mommy's girl. She would always say that us girls had to stick together in this world of men. My mom was amazing. She was as I'd heard many of the guys say it and Gemma as well, an Angel. She had this amazing ability to make anyone smile, to get away with things that no one else could get away with. And her laugh, oh wow her laugh was the best. It was completely infectious, and I always thought it sounded like a melody.

The club loved her as much as they respected her, and God did I miss the countless parties and barbecues my mom and Gemma used to throw. Just thinking about those times made me ache with pain and have the urge to smile at the same time.

I had gone over a thousand miles away from Charming and the feeling never changed, no matter how much I tried to numb it even temporarily. When I thought about it, leaving here on my part was just plain out ridiculous. I left primarily to escape the pain, but all I did was add the pain of missing my family to the loss of my mom.

The drops of rain added to the sounds reverberating in the car. My baby's engine never ceased it's loud humming and rumbling, and Lynard Skynard's _Simple Man_ played just loud enough to be heard over the engine. Neither Happy nor I said a word, or even looked at each other. I was lost in my thoughts and Happy was either pissed off or not bothering with me. Whatever it was, I didn't care, I meant it when I said I was done.

There was just too much more serious things going on that needed focus, like Abel and Gemma. I had been apprehensive about leaving her behind, but she was the one who pretty much instilled in me that when the club needed me to do something and it was obviously serious, I do it. Granted, I didn't take it to that extreme that I wouldn't normally put up a strong protest against being ordered around like a slave, but there were times when I didn't question an order.

When it came to someone in my family being in trouble, like my Godfather was just then, I didn't question it. I would do anything to keep my family safe.

My brow scrunched in confusion as we pulled into St. Paul's Home for the Aged, as the all that I could see was Tara standing in a nearly empty parking lot and the car nowhere in sight. "Shit," I cursed softly under my breath and hit the gas to peel around the bikes as they pulled up to Tara.

Unbuckling my belt, I shifted the car into park before practically throwing the door open. A pang of worry shot through me like a bullet by the look on Tara's face.

"Where's Gemma?" I demanded right away, hearing the sound my car's window being rolled down as I moved to stand next to Tara.

"She just took off." Tara looked panicked and worried to the max, and one look on Jax and Clay's faces told me that they weren't that far off.

"Whaddaya mean she just took off?" Clay got off his bike and walked toward us, not looking happy at all.

"I went inside to check in Nate when I came back, Gemma and the car were gone." Shit. Shit, shit, Shit. My breath hitched in my throat at the feeling of dread that welled up in my chest.

"Why would she leave, did something happen?" I searched Tara's face frantically, looking for anything, something that would get rid of the horrible unease as the rain hit my face and hair.

"Did she say anything?" Clay put a hand on my shoulder, my guess was so I'd calm down before I got too worked up.

"No, she didn't. She was crying when I left her. Nate was begging her to take him home." I saw her stop to swallow for a second. "It broke her heart."

"Jesus, she went home!" Jax shook his head in both anger and what I knew as dread. "She went to see her family." He locked eyes with me on that making a small hitch of breath freeze in my throat.

Clay voiced what I was sure all of us thought. "Abel."

I didn't wait to hear anything else. Without another word I went back to my car at a fast pace, slamming the door shut hard. Turning off the parking break, I didn't even wait for the others to get ahead, shifting gears and slamming hard on the gas while I put on my seat belt.

The speed that my baby was made and known for was finally showing as I soared ahead of the Sons on their bikes, making sharp turns so smoothly without slowing down that Happy had to grab the opened window ledge to keep from falling.

"Fuckin' slow down!" The raindrops hit my face from his open window, but I didn't slow down. Checking my mirrors, I saw that the guys weren't that far behind.

"Are ya tryin' to get pulled over or run over someone else's bike?" I wasn't going to take his snarling shit, not at this time.

"Either jump out the window or put your damn seat belt on and shut the hell up." I gritted my teeth, keeping my eyes on the road and forcing my mind to drive.

If I thought about how I should have stayed with Gemma and let the guilt of not putting her first when I was there mainly for her get to me, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on driving this fast.

I glanced at my dashboard, hitting the gas a little harder when I saw that we were only at 95mph. My throat was dry in a panic and I had to practice my breathing to get myself back in a state where I could focus on driving better. It had become second nature to me, almost like breathing, but I didn't want to get emotional behind the wheel. Happy then reached over and buckled in his seat belt

We had to have driven for at least three hours, but it all went by in a blur. I had tunnel vision at one point, focusing only on the road ahead of me. The only time I slowed down remotely was when driving down those country roads when nighttime hit.

Happy had been on the phone at one point, with Piney from what I gathered but I wasn't all that focused the conversation. I could only assume that Piney said something to him about me, because for the rest of the ride, his eyes stayed more on me than out the window.

It didn't make a difference to me, nothing mattered at that point except getting to Gemma. My eyes were glued to the road, my hands and feet moved in sync with the machine almost unconsciously. At the speed we rode, I should have that feeling of freedom welling up inside me.

Instead all I felt was a tightening fear and dread of Gemma going home and not finding Abel. After leaving Nate and if she was crying, she wouldn't be able to take it.

When we got into Charming, I ignored the pang of pain that would normally come over me at seeing all the old familiar places of my memories.

We drove by Jax's house first, but didn't stop when we didn't see a car. The next stop was Teller-Morrow's, and my heart was beating rapidly as we pulled up.

I steered the car smoothly into the lot, heart jumping in my throat as the lights from the bikes and the headlights from the van and my car all showed on Gemma standing by herself.

Clutching her heart.

I didn't bother to hide the terror that struck my face when she fell down. The adrenaline that hit me then wasn't the same type of high that I got from racing. This kind of adrenaline only fueled panic.

"GEMMA!" My scream was filled with fear when I opened the door to call for her. Everything happened so fast that I barely registered anything around me.

I was the second person to reach Gemma after Jax, practically sliding across the pavement to get to her, doing my best to remain calm. She was clutching her chest, as if she couldn't breathe, the color drained from her face and tight short breaths kept getting caught in her throat.

"Breathe Gemma, come on. Just keep breathing." Tears from an intense fear blurred my vision, but I refused to blink. Images of my mom collapsing that first time I found out anything was wrong surged through my mind then, making a painful lump.

The guys surrounded her, Jax screaming for Tara and Clay speaking soothing words to her. I scooted closer to allow her to place her head on my lap, my stubbornness keeping my tears from falling as I mimicked Clay. "Calm down Gem, you have to keep calm. Please just breathe. Just be okay," I whispered the last part, stroking her hair away from her face.

Tara came up to Gemma, taking her vitals and shouting for someone to call an ambulance. "It's her heart, its beating at a fast rate, she needs to calm down, give her air!" Most of the guys stopped crowding around her, but I didn't move, and neither did Clay or Jax.

Gemma's head and body were starting to shake, and her breath pattern changed again. Her eyes were falling closed and I knew she was losing consciousness. "Gemma! Stay with us, just calm down, please just calm down."

She barely stirred, everyone at once was talking to her and none of us were sure what was going on except for Tara, who remained calm and collected. I just kept talking to Gemma, even when she lost consciousness, in that same calm voice while my tears blinded me in my effort to keep them from falling.

I barely heard the sirens in the background. My mind was only focused on the painful and awful fear that I just lost my Godmother.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ..

An hour later and I sat in the hospital waiting room with Jax, Clay and Tig. I hated it here. My mom died only two floors above us, and it made the bile rise in my throat at the fear of losing Gemma in this place as well.

A hospital was a place of both sorrow and joy, but in my life it seemed to bring more sorrow than anything else. Abel was the only joy that ever came out of here in my life. The other times I had been in here was all bad times, from near fatal and serious injuries of the Sons to my mother and now Gemma.

Jax took a seat next to me, handing me one of those foam cups of tea. I took it without looking at him, staring at a spot on the floor with blank, red rimmed eyes.

I hadn't said a word or met anyone's eyes since we arrived at the hospital. I barely remembered climbing behind Jax on his bike as we followed the ambulance. All that I could focus on was the thought of losing Gemma.

Tara had gone with the other paramedics to treat Gemma, and Clay was pacing around the waiting room while we all waited for someone to give us news.

Waiting was the worst part. A billion different scenarios ran through my head, my thoughts so erratic I didn't know what to do with myself. I was uncharacteristically quiet, trapped in my own world within my head that alternated with flashbacks of the time my mother was hospitalized to imagining the worst had occurred with Gemma and what I would do if I lost her.

I honestly had no idea if I would be able to survive.

The door to the waiting room finally opened with Tara standing next to a doctor. All of us instantly rose to stand, looking anxiously at the doctor for news.

"Doc, how is she?" Clay looked anxious and visibly worried. I held my breath, fearing the worst.

The doctor was looking over at his clipboard when he answered him. "Her heart arrhythmia is what caused her to collapse, she underwent a great amount of strain and overworked herself. Normally, her medication would have prevented the attack, but according to her blood work, she hasn't been taking it for quite some time."

Oh Gemma, as much I loved her, I wanted to scream at her for doing that to me all because of her lack of taking medicine. She used to be on my ass every day when I started birth control to remember my pill every morning.

"Is she gonna be alright?" Jax looked at Tara instead of the doctor that held the clipboard. To mine, and probably everyone else's relief, Tara nodded her head with a small smile on her face.

"We're giving her the medication she needs and monitoring her. She'll be fine within a couple of days." Tara's words were like a wave of relief that washed over me, the breath I had been holding in fear left me.

The doctor cleared his throat nervously, all eyes focusing on him. "Well, due to the delicate legal circumstances of Gemma Teller-Morrow, we had to notify the proper authorities..."

It was then that I finally noticed the police officers and suits at the end of the hall. "She was moved to a single room, but you have to understand that she will be watched carefully and will be released into custody when she has fully recovered."

That brought the relief that I felt to a halt, though instead of fear it was just a feeling of loss and sorrow. I was thrilled that she would be alright, but at the same time I was still losing her. If she went to prison on two counts of murder I would probably never see her as a free woman again. The idea of Gemma locked up, never to see her family made my heart throb in a piercing ache.

"May we see her?" I found myself asking the doctors in a small soft voice. "I want to stay with her tonight."

Tara had a soft smile on her face, her dark eyes roaming my stance timidly. She wasn't used to me like this, and I knew it could be a bit weird since she had left before my mom died. "Yes, I'll set up some chairs and see if I can set up a cot for you."

I nodded, managing a fleeting smile at her efforts to be as accommodating as possible.

Tig also nodded to Clay, grabbing his jacket from the chair. "I'll stop by the garage and grab you some things you need."

"Tig." Clay gave Tig a hard look, glancing at me quickly before looking at Tig again and nodding. Ah yes, the wonderful language of silent communication, it wasn't hard to decipher the message behind the gestures, but I wasn't in the mood to remind them both I wasn't an idiot.

Clay followed the doctor out of the room and Jax pulled Tara aside, speaking to her in a quiet voice. I didn't move from my spot, blankly staring out the window of the waiting room looking at the agents that stood guard.

The heavy weight of Tig's arm dropped over my shoulder, tugging me closer to him in a protective hold. "C'mon Dollface, I'll take ya back. You can grab some stuff for Gemma and for you. I'll drive ya back after." I nodded numbly, letting him lead me out of there.

I really hated hospitals.

It was still raining lightly when we got outside, and as much as I hated the rain, a really didn't give it much notice. After all the waves of emotions that went over me today, it was strange to just feel hollow and blank.

I didn't want to think about Gemma going to prison. The image alone should have no place in my mind. It hurt when I tried to picture it. The best way to stop was to make my mind blank and let the blanket of numbness safely cover it.

Drowning in self-pity was really the whole basis of the thing, and I was far from the proper state of mind to have allowed myself to acknowledge that. There were times where I just wanted to be angry, pissed off, and sad.

Tig pulled up to the garage, parking his bike in one of the designated spots on the side. He reached back as I was taking off the helmet and squeezed my knee.

I paused for a second before a I got off the bike and handed him his helmet. It was an odd out of focus moment, where my mind was so set on Gemma that I barely paid attention to anything else around me.

A hand wrapped around my wrist, tugging me forward. I lifted my head to look at Tig peering at me with concern, those impossibly blue eyes that practically glowed in the dark. "It's gonna be alright Dollface." His thumb brushed over the pulse point in my wrist, eyes searching my face.

The blank look still on my face, I moved my head up and down in a nod. My mind was far away, focused on the image of Gemma in a prison cell.

We walked into the clubhouse, the guys all standing up when we walked inside. Tig launched into an explanation on Gemma's condition. I didn't meet anyone's eye, just walked past them and over to the dorms. I knew where Gemma kept her stuff on the nights she would stay over in Clay's room, and the first thing she'd probably want was to fix her makeup and get into her beauty routine.

Gemma always said that there wasn't a situation where a woman could be excused for not looking her best.

I took a duffel from Clay's closet, being careful not to mess up any of his stuff, and filled it with Gemma's spare makeup bag, some hair products, and the amazing perfume that she wore. A whiff of the spicy plum, blood orange, and jasmine was enough to bring an odd sort of comfort to me.

With Gemma's things in tow, I walked back downstairs and straight into the kitchen, packing some food and a couple of things that Clay and Jax might want.

From the kitchen, I still heard all the guys talking in low voices for once since the place wasn't blasting music.

"How's she doin'?" That was Piney's voice, but I disregarded it and kept right on going, packing a couple of cans of soda into the bag.

"Not good. She ain't dealin' with all this that well. Can't talk to her either, she's lost in her head with who knows what kinda fucking shit running through her head." Tig said in a slightly muffled voice.

Ah so they were talking about me. Of course they were, why should I be left alone to my own devices?

"It's probably giving her some killer flashbacks." Opie's quiet voice rang out, now forcibly making myself tune them out as I looked through the cupboards for that gigantic thermos I got Clay to keep in the dorms a couple of years ago.

I walked around in a zombie like state, doing everything in a robotic motion, my mind far away from reality and lived in world where I didn't have to think. It was one of two defense mechanism's I had, and this was the one I used when I felt some serious sadness.

Logically, I knew that it didn't make me feel better and that living in the past and worrying over a future of uncertainties never did anyone any good, but I just didn't care at that time.

I was bent over the sink, rinsing out the thermos I found that looked like it hadn't been washed in awhile. When I turned around to put it away in the bag, I noticed for the first time that I was no longer alone in the kitchen.

Yet there he was, sitting with a beer in one hand and eyes on my every move. Of all people, it had to be Happy, who's very name did anything but make me happy.

I didn't say a word to him, I barely even looked at him. I did not want anything to do with him, and I was absolutely determined to not have anything to do with him after our conversation earlier. I didn't know how long he had sat there before, but he was just plain stupid if he thought me noticing him would grant a reaction.

"You're jus' goin' on a whole cycle of fits ain't ya Princess." The rasp in his voice was darn and taunting, a tone I knew well from all the times he would purposely antagonize me.

I didn't acknowledge him in the least, going on with packing some decent instant coffee instead of the crap they had in the hospital. It wasn't even because I was being stubborn, I just had way more important things on my mind.

My lack of reaction didn't stop him though. "All that's left is for you to go into a crying fit and slit your wrists. You're really lovin' the attention aren't ya?" There was a _clunk_ on the table of the bottle of beer being put aside, and the sound of the chair scraping across the floor followed.

Blank look still on my face, I slung the bag over my shoulder and turned around, only to run right into Happy's solid form. Christ, that guy just wasn't letting up.

"Move." My voice came out as soft and emotionless, my mood far from a state where I could tolerate playing the little game of insults.

"No." His arms moved to either side of me and gripped the counter, trapping me effectively. "Aw, what's wrong, Princess not used to having someone say no? Gonna go tell the others so they'll save you from big, bad ol' me?" The sneer on his face was mocking, daring me to push back.

I concentrated my gave on one of the tattoos on his arms, refusing to look up at him. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your craving for my attention. I have somewhere to be, and it isn't here." My tone of voice stayed the same as before, but it didn't matter as it only served to fuel whatever Happy's intentions were for trying to piss me off.

"Tough fuckin' shit Princess. If you're gonna have a little fit and sulk all over the damn place, then you get to deal with me tellin' you that I hate spoiled little girls throwing a fit cause life got a little scary. Looks like I ain't the only one that's gotta get over my shit, huh Princess."

My eyes snapped up to him, and despite my previous efforts and vows, I felt myself glare up right in his eyes. "Christ, can you just go away? You constantly complain about me annoying you and you're here, just looking for me to annoy you. That makes about as much sense as the name you dubbed yourself with."

"Your little tantrum got everyone else up there worryin' 'bout you, and I'm here to tell ya to get over it and start actin' like you care about this whole 'family' that you threw your other fit about." His face moved slightly closer to mine, dark eyes menacing as they penetrated mine with the intense gaze.

I squared my shoulders, eyes narrowed up at him in my silence.

He went right on though, not letting me look away. "Unlike those guys I ain't afraid to hurt your feelings. Right now you're bein' a fuckin' brat and a pain in the ass. Everyone's already worried 'bout shit way more important than your feelings, and your god damn sulking fit got 'em all focusin' on you. Fuckin' pathetic."

Everything about my stance changed then, eyes burning with hatred and fury at the total asshole in front of me. He just couldn't leave me be, just had to push me to look for my breaking point.

"You're an asshole. You can't just leave me the hell alone, you're purposely looking for a way to hurt me. Not being able to use your fists on me getting to you?" My tone was angry and hateful, warping me out of my previous mood.

I brought my hands up and pushed him hard, just wanting to escape. The momentary surprise I caused him allowed me to duck under his arm. With a snarl, his hand shot forward and he caught my wrist in a tight grip.

A streak of fear went through me, that being the first time he ever touched me other than to push me out of the way, and that streak was followed by an odd intense electric shock that mingled with the fear. I froze, angry look still on my face and I whipped my head to meet his dangerous glare that mirrored the one on my face.

Both of us were breathing hard, exchanging hateful looks in a terse moment. "Let go of me." My voice was soft and stone cold, my mind too stubborn to let him see that he had any effect on me. The moment that passed when we both stared at each other, eyes filled with hate and contempt in such a close proximity, was odd and intense.

Happy looked at me hard for a moment longer, as if he was searching for some kind of sign or signal as confirmation for God knows what. His eyes then looked me up and down quickly before he dropped my wrist.

With one final glare at him, I turned and walked out of the kitchen, not daring to look back. Okay, that was definitely weird. My heart was pounding like crazy, but I didn't think I was that scared of him. He wouldn't do anything to physically harm me, I knew that without a doubt, so why was I so affected?

When I got outside, I saw a couple guys on their bikes and getting ready to head out. Tig stood my parked car with the trunk up, my bag in his hand.

"Anna, get over here and grab some of your own shit, cause I'm not gonna be playing errand boy all night," Tig said, watching me while I walked up to him. Dropping the bag I was carrying gently on the ground, I allowed a small smile to appear on my face just before I reached up and gave Tig a tight hug.

I knew I surprised him just from the look on his face, and my grinned widened when I felt his arms wrap around me in an equally tight hug. "You are way too good to me. Thanks."

I looked up at him, small grin on my face while resting my chin on his chest. He was shaking his head with a smile. "Shit Dollface, I'm gonna have to go shoot someone, you're makin' me look soft."

"Making you soft? I didn't think I'd ever hear those words coming from you." I winked at him and pulled away to grab some things from my giant bag.

It took him a couple of seconds to get it, but my grin widened when I heard him laugh. "Shit, your tongue is getting quicker. I like a quick tongue on a woman."

"Yea I bet you do." I heaved my giant duffel back into the trunk of my car, a smile on my face as I closed it and pocketed the keys to my car.

Strapping the bag onto his bike, I took the helmet Tig held out for me, not even bother to resist smiling when I saw the more pleasant look on his face. "I'm glad you snapped out of it Dollface, I like you better as, well _you._"

"What do you mean?" I climbed on the back of his bike and wrapped my arms around his waist, waiting for the others to start up their bikes.

"When you get in that mood, it's hard to break you out of it, and it's even harder to see you that upset." Tig reached back and squeezed my knee affectionately as he led the others out of the garage and toward the hospital.

On the way back, I felt confusion take place in the sadness that I felt earlier, with one question bouncing around in my head.

By purposely pushing my buttons and pissing me off to snap me out of my emotionless state, was that Happy's way of being... nice to me?

I predicted a severe headache coming my way.

* * *

**_Author's Note: _ Oh WOW thanks to everyone for the feedback, to be honest I had no idea how that chapter would be received. Your words did have me write probably the longest chapter yet. I don't think I read another story in which this type of hate developed between an OC an a possible romantic interest, especially with Happy, and I was nervous on the response. I am thrilled and grateful to all of those that reviewed, it really helped me out and totally got me in the writing mood with the comments, suggestions, and observations many of you had.**

**I will comment in general that I was flattered by many of the compliments I got about my take on the characters, and especially Happy as he is a hard one to figure out. The tension and hate between him and Anna has been in play even before the series started, and since then had only grown. Interactions between them will be tense and heavy, as neither like each other but at the same time have an odd acknowledgement on how the other effects them.**

**In this Chapter, Anna snapped, as you all read. Not just with happy, but with her emotional overload. In this sense, I had a slight issue as I rewrote it twice, because Anna was essentially raised by bikers, and I don't see them being the type to wear their hearts on the sleeve. I would love some opinions on that, as I found that all of you guys have a much better objective view point than I do.**

**You all rock, by the way. ^_^**

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**_BloodyHavoc, KeptLady, ozlady80: _The excitement you guys showed was just awesome, and I love how into it you all got. It's great that you all like the twist I threw in there, and thank you for that feedback, since your excitement passed on to me and enabled me to really get into Anna's head and finish this chapter.**

_**FunnyMick: **_**I loved the feud they have too! And I also love the potential that comes from it. Happy took me a little while to figure out, but at least the image that I got from the show didn't portray him as a nice, or easy guy to get along with. It doesn't help that both him and Anna are as you said, strong willed and stubborn. As you saw here, both of them have that ability to bring out the other's temper. Happy will keep his cool when he needs to, but with the ongoing feud between him and Anna, I doubt he would hold back from her since he can't physically harm her. Thank you for your insights, they are wonderful to hear and I really hope you like this take on the two of them as you did the other.**

**_stephanie is amazzzing:_ Haha, Happy is a character that's for sure. He won't easily forgive either, but you see that Anna said she was done with taking his crap. Who knows if her outburst affected him, but I suppose you can only wait and see how it grows. You have some more interactions in this chapter, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed them just as much!**

**_Alive at 2PM: _Ha, you and me both can wonder about the fate of her relationship with Happy. To be perfectly honest, I had no clue who Anna's romantic interest would be when I started this story, but as I wrote more in her head, I had to feel around to see who she would have the most chemistry with. For awhile I did think it might be Tig, and who knows it still would, but I am loving the journey that comes with finding out. Enjoy this chapter, and thanks so much for the feedback.**

_**JJ-Jefferu:**_** I kept you in mind when I wrote the ending banter between Anna and Tig after she snapped out of her mood, so I hope you enjoy it. There are many takes on Happy, so you know, but being that I've been dating a guy in an MC for about four years now, I have come across certain people that in an odd way helped me understand in my own way how Kurt Sutter might have tried to portray him. I think if you keep a consistent in your portrayal of Happy and it's not too OOC, you'll be fine. I wonder you think of this chapter, as it gives perhaps a better insight on what Happy and Anna are like together. Thanks so much for your reviews, they are becoming one of the top ones I look forward to reading.**

_**Lexi-Dark:**_** You have no idea how happy your feedback made me, as I am extremely nervous on whether or not I stay true to the characters the show portrayed. Gemma is my idol, like to the point that I vowed to be like her when I grow older. Your mom is automatically awesome for being like her, so I envy you and encourage you to learn from her. (My mom, as much as I love her, is complaining that I'm over 21 years old and been with the same guy for four years and am still not engaged.) Happy and Tig are definitely my favorites as well, as I find them both to be complex in their own light. Season three showed a different side to both of them, one filled with more compassion that I found extremely compelling, and Anna is the perfect way for me to explore it more. Happy I found this season to have far more layers to him than I originally thought, particularly to his dedication to his sick mother, which told me so many things about him. This chapter should give you an idea of the layers that I glimpsed of him in the last season, as well as a better idea on how Anna fits into the whole puzzle. Thank you for your observations and compliments, I really am thrilled that you feel I am staying true to the characters, and I hope never to disappoint.**

_**Christina: **_**I totally agree that the anger and hate will make for some awesome sexual tension, which you catch a glimpse of in this chapter. Happy is a difficult guy, and I think it takes more than a pretty face to stir up that wild passion that comes with the crazy sexual tension, especially now that Anna is definitely not a little kid anymore. To go from Tomboy to a chick that one look at her and you know Gemma Teller-Morrow was a huge influence on her, well thats a pretty crazy transition that many are bound to notice. I really hope that you like this deeper look into Anna as well as the relationship she has with Happy and the others. Thanks again for the review and I hope this chapter does it for you just like the last one.**

_**Vigilant Reader:**_** Wow, longest review ever, and a totally awesome one at that. Your observations and insights honestly surprised me, and no unfortunately I do not write the show with Kurt Sutter, though I would never turn down the chance to do it. I love how much you adore Anna, she's a lot of fun to write and everything you said about her is exactly what I hoped to achieve. Sweet, gentle girls wouldn't be able to hack it with the Sons, just look at Tara and how much she evolved since the first season. Anna was with the club since birth, you can only imagine how that shaped her. Gemma was such a huge part of her life that I wanted Gemma's influence to be the most noticeable in her. I wanted her to be original as well, so I tried to go as far away from all the other stories I've read as I possibly could. As for not making Happy into a sappy little pussy... oh man, not going to lie, I HATE it when writers do that. It butchers him in general for me, and I can't take him seriously afterwards. I don't see Happy as a sociopath or a psychopath, mind you, but I do see him as being so guarded against emotions that the only way he would allow them to be felt was if someone sort of sneaked past his barriers without him realizing or expecting it. I do agree that he would get easily bored if its just a sweet little thing that gasps in embarrassment when a curse flies out of her mouth. I never understood how anyone can picture him with that type, but I suppose there are stranger things. The car ride was so much fun to write, that I actually felt angry when I wrote Anna yelling at him. I really hope that this chapter meets your approval as well, and that it reveals more about what I have planned for the future. Thanks again!**

_**DawnTully: **_**You're enthusiasm is wonderful, I laughed when I read it. If you're this excited with the two of them throwing insults at each other, I can't imagine what you would do if they actually DID end up together. I am really gladd that you liked my portrayal of Happy, as I tried to make him as close as to the guy we got to know and love on the show as I could. Alas, Kurt Sutter and I do not share a mind, as if we did I totally would have seen the stuff that happened in the last episode coming. I'm also glad you don't see it as a retelling of the show, that was never my intention. I assume everyone saw the third season, why would they want to read it next right? No, this is the third season from another characters point of view completely. I think what she sees is better than explaining everything that was already shown. Also, I am SO happy that you liked how nervous Anna was handling the gun, as I said and so did she, she's not a violent person. Hurting others is something she would only do as a last resort and I imagine even if they deserved it, it would still hit her hard. Thank YOU for your amazing review and I really hope to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well.**

_**CGandJaz**_**: I agree with you 100% how no one likes the perfect love affair. Even in real life, what makes any relationship worthwhile is the trials, fights, and hard times that are faced together and overcome. The love of my life that I have been dating for four years now, well when we met, we weren't fond of one another. It sometimes takes the strangest and sometimes the most unpleasant situations to make for the most worthwhile, passionate relationships. Sorrow, heartbreak, and angst are what make up the true root of any relationship, and I am impressed and thrilled that you get that. The animosity between Anna and Happy is needed I think, because if they were to end up together that would mean they had overcome there long standing feud, which would be proof that there is something very special about that hate growing into love. You really give wonderful feedback, and I literally squeal whenever I see a review from you. I hope this Chapter gave you a better idea of not just Anna and Happy, but as how I see all the characters in relation to Anna and vice versa. Thank you so much for reviewing!**

_**BikerLover:**_** I am seriously flattered that you would put my story right up there with Bad Company's stories. She is one of my favorite writers and her Sons of Anarchy stories are phenomenal! I don't know if I deserve to be set on par with her, but am nonetheless thankful for that comparison. You got Anna down pretty well, she's not slutty by any means, yet still retains that devilish coyness that is hard to resist all around. Anna is definitely NOT a sweetbutt, yet she's not unrealistically nice and perfect, which I am so glad you appreciate. Here's some more in this chapter for you to mull over, and I really hope it meets your approval.**

_**Paint Me Red:**_** Oh wow, not going to lie, the fact that you made an account just to follow my story made my ego swell for just a moment. Thank you so much for that and I am thrilled that you are such a big fan. As I said to the others, I am in no way, shape, or form affiliated to Kurt Sutter (much to my disappointment). However, I am glad that I am doing the characters he created justice and not messing them up. They're not easy to understand and it took a lot of time watching the show over and over again to figure them out. Glad to see my efforts paid off! Anna is definitely a firecracker, though she's far from this tough ball heavy chick. She's stubborn and hates showing vulnerability, and it's something she learned being raised by bikers. I hope you like this update and I look forward to hearing your opinions on the show!**

_**Cat Lea Takersdarkone: **_**Funny enough, I can't decide which I like writing more, the banter between her and Tig or Anna and Happy. I'm glad you liked them both. Thank you for the encouragement and I hope you like this chapter just as much!**

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** Thank you everyone for reading and for the wonderful reviews and feedback! The excitement I see in you guys totally inspires me, even to the point where I end up writing a six thousand something word chapter! ^_^**

**You all rock, and your reviews and opinions totally make it worthwhile for me to throw myself into this story. It's great knowing that something I put a lot of thought and effort into is liked, and I would love all thoughts on it.**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and stay tuned for more to come!**


	9. The Struggles in a Family

"Doc said ya should be fine in a few days..." Muffled whispers lulled me out of my sleep slowly as the words registered in my head. The only thing I noticed right away was the fleece blanket covering me and something squishy and rough under me.

Oh yea, I fell out last night in Gemma's hospital room on that sorry excuse for a cot that they brought in there. It was better than nothing, and I was so drained from the emotional roller coaster I'd been on that I practically fell out the second I laid down, though I remembered trying in vain to stay awake.

The clanging of metal and plastic had me stir a bit more, slowly coming back from my dream world. I didn't move a muscle though, not wanting them to think I was awake. Also, I didn't want to move yet as the hospital room was cold and the blanket was at least warm.

"What were ya thinkin' comin' back here?" I heard Clay ask in a quiet voice. The warmth of the blanket was tempting me to doze off again big time. Though the soft cursing from whom I thought might have been Gemma earlier kept me a bit more alert.

It was like I was half dreaming and it was taking my brain awhile to decide if I was still dreaming or still asleep. "I was thinking I was gonna see my grandson." Okay that was definitely Gemma. "You lied to me."

I peeked through half lidded eyes to see Clay sitting at Gemma's bedside. I didn't want them to know I was up yet, keeping myself still. "Sorry." That was all Clay said. Really? I personally thought he should be on his knees asking for forgiveness.

"Where's Jax? I need some answers. And Anna? Did she know about this too?" I shut my eyes on instinct when I heard my name, forcing my breathing to stay even.

"Jax went to get coffee and we had Tig tell her the other day. She fought tooth and nail for ya, warned us that if we didn't tell ya by last night, she'd tell you herself." I heard the bed shift lightly and worked to keep still.

"The kid wouldn't leave your side all night. Doc brought in a cot for her to sleep on." I could almost hear the smile in his voice and felt that prickly feeling I always got when someone was watching me.

"Yea well, she always did get the whole family loyalty idea better than most." At least Gemma wasn't mad at me on that, though she still sounded pissed as all hell.

I shifted on the cot a little bit, taking a deep breath through my nose. "Angel, you awake?" Clay's deep voice rumbled softly as I pretended I was just waking up. "Look who's up."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and blinked up at them. "Morning." With a timid smile, I pushed myself to my feet and practically slid across the cold floor in my socks. "How are you feeling Gemma?"

Clay stood up, gesturing for me to sit down and announced he was going to let Tara know that Gemma was awake and tell her to get Jax. "Like shit. Did you kill your back sleeping on that thing?" I had to grin when I saw her eye the cot.

"I managed." My eyes studied her face, still pale and sickly looking. Her makeup was smeared and her normally fierce cognac hued eyes were dull and tired. "You scared me last night." My voice was soft and I allowed a bit of my vulnerability show around her.

She pulled her hand from my grasp and stroked my arm. "Oh baby, I know it wasn't easy. Nothing will get rid of me that easily though." She stroked my long blonde curls out of my face, smiling at me in a maternal manner. "Besides, I promised your mom I'd look out for you, and if I left ya anytime soon, she'd kick my ass back to life."

Even Clay had to laugh at that one as he came back, and I couldn't hold back the giggle that escaped me. "Good."

I leaned forward and hugged her gently, sighing in relief when I rested my head on her shoulder. Gemma's hand stroked my back soothingly, just like when I was a little girl. "I'm alright babygirl, it'll be okay."

Hugging her tightly for a moment longer, I kissed her cheek and pulled away. "If you ever scare me like that again Gem, _I _will kick your ass."

Gemma did nothing more but scoff. "I'd like to see ya try."

My face turned serious then, remembering what they were talking about earlier before I 'woke up.' "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about Abel. I was livid when I found out you didn't know. I was going to tell you last night myself if they hadn't told you but Clay said to give them a chance and-"

"I know, Anna." Gemma interrupted me and placed her hand on my arm. "You got the same sense of loyalty as Beth. I don't like being kept in the dark though. By any of you." Her glare moved to Clay then.

And right on time, Tara opened the door and Jax walked into the door with a relieved smile on his face. "Hey Ma."

Oh man, one look at Gemma's face and I knew she wasn't having it at all.

"This is on you too Doc." Her voice was angry and cold, and I knew in this situation it was better if I just kept my mouth shut for a bit.

When the door closed, that's when the questions and explanations were off. Gemma full on demanded the truth for what happened in a voice I knew well and the few times it was directed at me in the past, I did as she said.

Jax apparently got it too, because he launched right into an explanation about everything that Tig told me, even about the bounty hunter. What I didn't see though, was the picture they got of Abel from the bounty hunter.

I leaned into Gemma, looking at the picture with a sinking heart, grasping it gently when she allowed me to hold it for awhile. At least Abel looked alright, but damn did I miss him. I wasn't a fan of kids until Opie had Ellie years ago. Granted I had been partial to the kids who's parents I was friends with, but it didn't make my affection any more genuine.

Abel was my special little guy though. Gemma loved this little guy as much as I spoiled him. He had more toys and clothes than he probably knew what to do with at that point. I sent him something practically every month since he was born, just for the thought that some of it would bring a smile to his face.

"We were just tryin' to protect you Mom," Jax said softly, looking at us holding the picture of Abel.

I knew from the start Gemma wasn't having it. "Bullshit. You were trying to protect yourselves."

The look I exchanged with Jax clearly conveyed 'I told you so' on my part, as I TOLD them that she would rip them up for keeping it from her. Gemma taught me long ago that soft spoken words of venom had more of an effect than yelling, and she was right.

"He's not in Vancouver." That made my head snap to look at Gemma, my eyes widening in surprise and shock.

"That call that I got last night, that triggered all this..." She looked around at all of us in turn, her voice heavy and low. I would bet that all four of us had matching looks of confusion and astonishment. "Was Maureen Ashby."

Wait... I'd heard that name before. Why did that name ring a bell?

My eyes darted to Clay, the look on his face a dead giveaway that he had an idea of what Gemma was getting at, and it wasn't something all that great seeing as he was openly avoiding my gaze.

Jax on the other hand, looked as perplexed as I did. "Who's Maureen Ashby?"

Gemma and Clay looked at each other, both obviously nervous about something. Gemma glanced at me quickly and looked back at Clay, using that silent communication thing they are prone to doing.

Jax and I exchanged confused glances and my eyes fell on Gemma. "Okay what? You guys are seriously freaking me out. Who is she?"

Clay sighed heavily and rubbed his neck, his eyes locked on my face. "McGee's Old Lady, she's a good friend of the MC for a long time."

My breath hitched in my throat and I felt my entire body stiffen. So that's how I knew the name, I knew I heard Gemma and my mom talking about the whole thing a long time ago. I don't remember the exact conversation, but I sure as hell remembered that name.

Gemma pushed a curly lock out of my face, smoothing the wild glossy curls back. "You okay babygirl?"

"Fine." My tone was crisp and cold. "What did she say?" I wanted the focus off of me. Besides, I had no father, I had Piney, Clay, and Big Otto and I never needed anyone else.

"She told me that Abel was in Belfast."

Great. Just freaking great.

"No it can't be. Jimmy and O'Neil saw Cameron get scooped up as soon as he hit Belfast. Didn't have Abel with him." I studied Jax's face carefully, the blood practically drained from his face.

If O'Neil lied, I knew that would be really bad. I couldn't blame him for not wanting to believe it. Hell, I wasn't sure if I fully believed it. Sons of Anarchy had a very high honor code and a big thing on trust and family.

"Well then somebody's full of shit!" Gemma was extremely pissed at that point, and obviously worked up as her heart monitor started beeping within the next minute.

I took her hand, knowing that it was probably best not to say anything as Clay, Jax, and Tara rushed forward to check on her.

Clay tried though, but soothing words probably wouldn't work. "Ya needa take it easy baby-"

"I'll take it easy as soon as I know where the hell my grandson is!" Yeah, I knew they wouldn't, Gemma was way too pissed.

"Deep breath Gem," I spoke in a soft voice, gently squeezing her hand.

"Think about it Jax" I looked up at him at that point, having mulled the facts in my head and now striven to keep my voice soft. "This woman, to my knowledge, has absolutely no reason to lie to you or to track down the number of a prepaid cell just to screw with Gemma's head. Jimmy though, he knows that things aren't going to end well should you find out that Abel was actually in Belfast the whole time. O'Neil... he does work closely with Jimmy doesn't he?"

Jax stared hard at me, processing the information himself. I loved that he never dismissed my information or waved it off. He had always respected what I had to say, especially that I knew the guys pretty damn well. I thought he would say something, but the nurse came in at that moment to kick us out so she could rest.

I placed a kiss on Gemma's cheek, squeezing her hand one last time and walked over to shove my feet into my boots, lacing them up in just seconds. Clay waited for me until I had all my stuff, leaving the things I brought for Gemma behind.

"Angel, do me a favor would ya?" Clay said as he lead me out of there with Jax next to me. "Go find one of the guys, have them take ya back to the clubhouse. Get a shower, freshen up, whatever. Then ask one of them to bring you here if ya want, but it ain't a good time for you to be on your own."

I rolled my eyes, a blatantly annoyed look on my face. "I'll be fine Clay, I don't want to bother them every time I want to see Gem. I'll drive my car here, and I'll call one of you and to check in. Is that alright?" I refused to let myself be more a burden on the guys than I had to be.

"Fine, but watch yourself you hear?" I nodded in response, making a move to leave before a thought occurred to me.

"Um Clay?" Both him and Jax turned to look at me. "Will I be staying at your house?"

Jax looked at Clay, shaking his head. "Barely anyone's there, it's unprotected. Cops are probably watching it too."

Clay looked back at me, his usual serious 'leader' look, as I called it, on his face. "You'll stay at the clubhouse. You can have Half-Sack's old room. It's cleaned out, but you might wanna change the sheets and all- No Angel, don't argue with me on this." He cut me off when he saw my mouth opening in protest.

"The guys are all there, and I ain't risking it. Do it for me huh?" Damn it, I couldn't protest then, and he knew it.

Still, they had enough crap on their plates without having to worry about me as well. "Okay."

Clay nodded and I smiled at both of them before turning to make my way back to the waiting room.

As expected, a lot of the guys filled it up, many standing the second they saw me. "How's Gemma doing?" Opie asked, putting a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"Pissed off. Not that I blame her." My eyes shifted to Tig then, looking at him pointedly. "Like I said she would be. Brace yourselves though, she told us something that's going to change a lot of things."

"Which is..." Bobby moved his head, indicating for me to continue.

"Not for me to say. I'm sure Clay and Jax will let ya'll know. Um, can one of you give me a ride back to the clubhouse? They want me to stay there from now on and I'd really like to freshen up." I shifted my bag on my shoulder, looking at all of them.

I was trying not to be appear too uneasy around them. It was hard to do, especially after that whole thing Gemma told us about my father's Old Lady calling her.

What was even harder, was that they all knew me far too well, the result of all of them watching me grow up.

"I'll take you!" Juice piped up, grinning at me broadly. I had to smile back at him, he had the cutest smile.

What made my smile widen was the look on Tig's face. "Keep your pants on bro, you're _only_ driving her back." Oh Christ, leave it to Tig to be the one to make a constant flow of lewd comments and suggestions, but then get all threatening and protective.

I rolled my eyes just as Jax came back to the group, calling them to the chapel in the hospital. "Wait here huh Anna?" Waving them off, I took a seat in the waiting room, leaving the club to their business.

With my bag resting on my lap, I sat quietly as several doctors and nurses passed me, speaking to one another. As much as I loved Gemma and I wanted to be near her, I was glad to be leaving for awhile. I didn't do well with hospitals.

My life had been turned upside down since I came back home, having me pulled in several different directions. I did a lot of growing up the past year since I graduated college, and not just with my looks, though as everyone loved to point out that was probably the biggest noticeable change.

Gone were my band shirts, relaxed fit jeans, and converse sneakers. They were replaced with tight, fitted jeans, fitted and low-cut shirts, and knee high boots. I rarely put my hair in a braid anymore, opting to leave it in a ponytail or down, and added actual make-up to my routine.

In other words, I found the girly girl in me. And it only took me almost twenty three years to do it.

Turns out I made better money that way in the racing circle. Men were cocky and had a tendency to seriously underestimate a woman behind the wheel. The more delicate and feminine you look, the more they underestimated you. It gets really easy to swindle money out of them then.

That routine and being totally on my own forced me into circumstances when I had no choice but to grow up. Being back home, it was like I went into my old position. Happy was right last night, I was pretty much the Princess. They babied me big time and I loved it and hated it at the same time.

For so long I had been without the guys being my big protectors so to speak, which come on what girl wouldn't love. Now that I was back, it was like I never left with them, except for Tig who was now having way too much fun with our flirting game. It really spoiled me all over again.

Life had been so much different when I was on my own with nothing but races and guys in the circle to worry about.

That was what I needed to get my head straight, a night at the races. The power of my Firebird in my hands, the engine humming in my ears and rumbling all around me, was more effective than an drug on the market.

Digging through my bag, I took out my phone, using the last bar of my battery to text a contact of mine out in Fresno. It was maybe an hour and a half drive, and I could use the cash. Most of all I really needed the rush to knock me back into my comfort zone.

"Anna!" Juice jogged up to me from around the corner. "Ready to go?"

"For you Hot Stuff? Always." I stood up, flirtatious smirk on my face only widening when he sling his arm around my shoulder.

Juice and I had a much different relationship than say, Tig and I, for instance. While Tig and I flirted and played around, Juice was my plain out buddy. He was probably the only guy in the club that I wasn't worried about going crazy protective over me when we hung out. He trusted me to take care of myself, and we just had a blast together.

"I'm gonna need you to open up that trunk of yours when we get back," Juice said in a low voice in my ear while we walked to his bike. He tipped his head to rest his forehead on the side of my head in a flirtatious fashion.

It was all for show though, so no one would think twice about what we were whispering about. People paid less attention when they thought it was a couple having some sweet words.

"I thought Bobby got it earlier, he told me last night he'd grab it this morning to deliver it to his ex." I wrapped my arm around his waist, adding to the effect.

"He got his stuff out and Happy's. Said that the stuff would be safer in your car, but I can't work your trunk out at all."

I couldn't help the giggle that followed, though it didn't hurt the little play we were making. "I suppose it just needs a woman's touch. I'll come to your rescue, no worries." I winked at him, digging my fingers into his side and making him jerk away from me.

"Hey!" He really had the best smile, and I easily caught the helmet he threw to me. I had to admit, Juice got a lot more comfortable riding since the last time I rode with him. As in tune as I was with my baby, I could instinctively tell how comfortable others were when driving either a car or a bike. So far I liked riding with Tig and Clay best. The both of them were at so much ease when handling their Harley's that it was hard to feel anything but safe when you rode with them. I was pleased to see that Juice was no longer as nervous as he was before.

"Hey, hey Juice!" I leaned over to talk right next to his ear as we waited for the light to change. Impish grin on my face I squeezed my arms around his waist. "You're a really good ride." I purposely spoke in a husky tone, aiming for a particular effect.

Juice tensed up and groaned, making me throw my head back and laugh as we sped off to Teller-Morrow Auto.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,

Thank God that Half-Sack was former military and still had the habits instilled in his brain about cleanliness. It made cleaning his room up much easier than probably any other guy. All I really had to do was change the sheets, vacuum, and wipe down the furniture. It was his bathroom that needed the cleaning. According to Piney, they made some of the croweaters clean out his stuff a week or so ago.

Juice took off right after I gave him his stuff, and I was left at the clubhouse alone with the guys going in and out.

It felt weird to stay there, even wrong in so many ways but what could I do. Clay left no room for argument and I knew if he had to he'd have Piney and Gemma back him up, and I couldn't say no to them. Well I could, but it would bite me in the ass in the end.

Several hours later, I had cleaned the entire room and bathroom and managed to get myself showered and clean too. In between all that, I had been texting with my contact out in Fresno and making the plans for my evening.

I wanted to stay with Gemma, but I figured I'd give her and Clay some alone time and maybe let Clay take the cot that night. I didn't want to intrude on time alone that I knew they would desperately need, especially with Gemma's situation.

After all that though, I was starving. I hadn't even had my coffee that morning, and I was miraculously functioning. I only had a crappy turkey sandwich, and that was last night.

Imagine my dismay when I opened the refrigerator in the kitchen and blinked in astonishment at the contents inside. There were leftover pizza and Chinese food, a huge package of bacon, a bag of pretzels, and bottle of root beer.

"Seriously?" I muttered under my breath in exasperation, giving up and shutting the fridge. I ended up grabbing a brand new jar of peanut butter from the cupboard and taking a banana from the fruit bowl. I could always count on fruit at least, Bobby being amazing with his organic preferences.

Spoon in hand, I walked out to the garage to take my meal on the go. I knew the guys were running around all over the place and pretty much camping out in the hospital, so I didn't expect to run into anyone.

Since I wasn't going to spend the night there, I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. I even stopped by the corner store to pick up some magazines for her and a something to drink and snack on for myself.

I really hated the hospital, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from seeing my Godmother either. Just as I parked my car, I saw a bunch of the Sons spilling out of the hospital.

"Hey." I held my purse and the plastic bag of stuff, shutting my car door. "Is everything alright?" They were all piling into the van that Piney drove yesterday, including Chuck that guy with two fingers. All of them looked pretty pissed.

It was Jax who stopped in front of me, looking incredibly agitated. "Getting some things taken care of. Anna, stay with mom till I come by later okay? Stahl's been hanging around way too much and stressing her out."

I nodded my head, peering at his face carefully. "Okay. Just... be careful alright?" I would seriously crack if Jax ended up getting hurt as well.

Jax squeezed my shoulder and nodded, giving me a warning look. "Be good." After I nodded, he went with the other guys in the truck.

I watched them all drive off before I walked back into the hospital. I really hoped that they would be careful, I didn't think the club could handle another tragedy.

On the way to Gemma's room, I passed Tara speaking with the woman I recognized to be the hospital administrator. They appeared to be talking about some serious stuff because Tara looked seriously rattled.

I watched them over my shoulder as the agent at the door patted me down and checked me for weapons, my brows scrunched in curiosity. Tara's been really going through it lately, and I was getting worried about her. Yea she tore Jax up pretty bad when she left, but the point was that she came back and she was earning her right to have the club in her life. I had to respect that.

"Hey Gem." I smiled at her softly, moving to sit on the chair by her bed.

"Hi babygirl." She looked and sounded so tired and worn out. It hurt to see her like that, and I had to keep reminding myself that she was way stronger than she looked.

I smirked lightly, pulling out the food I brought with me. "Well, looks like I'll be doing some grocery shopping soon. The food in the fridge at the clubhouse is pathetic."

Gemma scoffed, slight smile on her face. "Yea what did you expect?"

"Something better than leftovers and a bag of pretzels." We both had a chuckle at that, the atmosphere easing slightly.

I loved my relationship with Gemma, it was truly something that I cherished. She could be hard as nails, but she polished me up into a lady that didn't take crap, especially after my mom died.

I was pretty sure I helped her relax a little bit, especially when I handed her a couple of magazines and we just looked through them and casually chatted. Losing my mom and then Luanne was a lot harder on Gemma than people realized. I knew I wasn't on that rank with her, but I could still try and be there for her like my mom would have.

"So whatever happened to that guy you were seeing through most of college? Dante was it?" Gemma was flipping through one of those fashion magazines she loved while I shamelessly drooled over the guy on the cover on a men's fitness magazine.

"Yep. Broke up with him not long after graduation, remember?" I tried to be as casual about it as possible, not meeting Gemma's eyes and pretending to be engrossed in the magazine.

"You never did tell me what happened with you too. He was a really good looking guy." Gemma knew I was avoiding the issue, but when she wanted to know something it was difficult to deter her. She met Dante once and commented only on his looks, but said straight up he was an asshole. Man did I wish I listened to her.

"He thought that just because he treated me well when we were together, I would tolerate him running around on me. Why, I don't know, I told him from the start that once he cheats on me, that's it. I wouldn't stay with a guy that didn't have enough self-control to keep it in his pants and apparently that didn't translate into whatever language he speaks." I threw the magazine in my lap, getting a little more worked up than I intended about him.

"Can you believe that he was actually surprised when I packed my stuff and left? God what did I ever see in him?" I was biting my lip in frustration.

"You saw a hot body and a good dick honey, it gets us every time." Gemma's signature bluntness made me giggle and agree wholeheartedly.

"Just be happy that Aaron wasn't around for that. That boy would put you in a plastic bubble and shoot any guy that checked you out if he could get away with it." I cringed, letting out a long sigh. Gemma was right, the way the guys were protective of me was nothing compared to Aaron. It didn't help that he was a scary guy with a reputation.

"I miss him. I know he's supposed to be home soon, but it's been too long." I felt a little messed up when I said that, seeing as at least I knew that Aaron was alright and no one knew what was going on with Abel, but I couldn't help it

Aaron and I had always been close for a brother and sister despite the nearly nine year age difference. He always let me tag along with him, Jax, and Opie when I was a kid, and was overprotective to the max. When I was thirteen and brought my first boyfriend to the house, Aaron sat on the couch and cleaned his gun in front of the poor guy.

Yep, that was my brother for you.

Aaron was a good guy though, always the more serious out of his friends. He was already patched into the club when my mom died. Jax, Opie, and him all got patched in together when they turned eighteen, and my brother had gone Nomad a year or so later. When mom died, he enlisted in the Marine Corps, having promised Mom on her death bed that he would get through school like she always wished.

Mom had always been strict when it came to grades and school with Aaron and I. She was seriously disappointed when Aaron when to work instead of college like she wanted, but mom was always cool enough not to push us into anything.

We never had a lot of money though, and when mom died Aaron used her life insurance to get me settled and then enlisted so he could get through schooling when he finished his tours to honor mom's wish.

I knew why he had to leave, but God damn did I miss him.

"Don't worry baby, he'll be home soon, and we'll... you'll throw him a big party to welcome him back." The words stung, as it reminded me how Gemma would be locked up at that time. I glanced down at her handcuffed hand, reaching over and gingerly clasping it.

I had no idea what to say, it was a situation I never imagined facing. Gemma was my rock though, the one person that had never failed to comfort me when I needed it, and right then she needed a rock.

"They'll figure something out Gem," I said quietly, squeezing her hand. "You have two very determined, stubborn, and dangerous men. They won't sit back and let you take the fall for this."

Gemma's fingers curled around my perpetually cold hand, though she didn't say anything right away. "It was my stupid call. If I had listened to Clay-"

"If they were straight up with you from the beginning, none of this would have happened," I interrupted her, unable to keep the same anger and irritation from my tone that I had from the moment Tig told me. "Don't Gem, don't blame yourself for this. It's not only not true, it's just not worth it. I will and can connect the line of blame way beyond just you, so leave it."

Gemma smirked at me, squeezing my fingers. "Look at you Ms. College Graduate. They still couldn't teach you to keep that tongue of yours in check."

"I dropped out of that class."

"...Smartass."

I grinned, looking back down at my magazine to try and appear as innocent as possible to amuse Gemma further. I may not ever be to her what mom or Aunt Luanne were, but I would always be there for her just like she was for me.

We had just gotten to talking about how I would move out of the shitty weekly rental apartment I lived in back in Venice Beach when Jax and Clay burst into the room with a ringing cell phone.

"Ma, it's her." Jax said all in one breath and practically thrust the phone into Gemma's hand. Her face became serious, all business when she answered the phone.

Clay stood next to the chair I sat in, keeping one hand on Gemma's bed and the other on my shoulder as we all listened to her question the Ashby woman about Abel. I bit my lip, as I often did when I was nervous, and quietly took in all I heard.

I closed my eyes in both relief and dread when Gemma confirmed that this was for real and handed Jax the phone. We knew where Abel was, but that meant that O'Neil and possibly the other SAMBEL members were on the take with Jimmy.

"What did she say?" Clay asked the moment that Jax closed the phone. I had never seem him looked as shocked as he did then, his mouth open like he was trying to get the words out.

"We gotta get to Belfast," Jax finally got out, the three of looking at each other in turn. It was almost like a series of common thoughts ran through all our heads.

Clay let out a gruff sigh, squeezing my shoulder gently. I didn't know what to say or do at that point. I was upset, not just at the mention of something provider of the sperm that impregnated my mom which I resulted in, but just that stuff just kept getting worse and worse.

"We'll call Church. Talk about it there," Clay said finally, looking at Jax for that. He nodded in agreement, raking a hand through his hair. "First thing tomorrow. Till then we sit tight."

Jax looked over at the jar of peanut butter and empty bag of pretzel sticks on the table. "This all you had today?" He looked right at me when he said that and I smiled sheepishly. "Not my fault you guys have to stock up on food."

The look that Jax gave me made the sheepish smile slide off my face.

"C'mon. You gotta start living off something other than coffee anyways." Jax grabbed my arm to pull me out of my seat, me looking back at Gemma with an apologetic smile.

"Go eat babygirl. Beth was the same way, putting food on the back burner for everything else. You get any smaller and we're gonna have a problem," Gemma said, shaking her head at me while Jax led me out.

I loved food, don't get me wrong. I loved cooking and baking and eating, I just got way too caught up in stuff and I would forget to eat. When I did eat though, it was_ way_ more than a watercress salad or some stupid crap like that.

Like then when Jax dragged me to the diner across the street from the hospital, I was loving a big juicy medium rare burger topped with jalapenos, tomatoes, salsa and hot sauce. I was a spicy fiend, and never left anywhere without an emergency bottle of hot sauce in my bag.

"You holding up alright with everything?" Jax was working on a burger of his own, but his eyes were focused on me.

I shrugged and twirled a curly fry into my ketchup and hot sauce combo. "I should be the least of your worries. Between Gemma and Abel and whatever tension is growing with you and Tara, you got enough on your plate."

The expression that came over his face made it obvious that he hadn't been expecting that. I assumed it was the comment on Tara, which in turn made me roll my eyes, swallowing the bite I took of my burger. "Jax, I know you. It's the one big thing that you and Aaron always had in common. When you're scared, you push people away. You're acting way colder to Tara than you were when I came down to visit Chibs a couple of months back," I said with a shrug, wiping my fingers on the napkin.

Jax looked torn and frustrated, not saying anything for a moment, just eating a couple of fries. "She's throwing herself into this life, she doesn't belong in it," he finally said, still looking pissed off beyond anything else.

"Look Jax," I put down my burger and gave him my undivided attention. "I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you lost so much already. Don't make it harder on yourself."

A half smile crossed his face and he nodded his head, not saying anything further and changing the topic to my car. That was Jax's signal to drop the subject, and I played along.

Conversation had always been that easy with the two of us, but our meal was quieter than usual, both of us in contemplative states. I was wondering how they would get to Belfast, and where I would stand in all of it. I would do anything to help Jax get Abel back, but I knew that it would mean facing some past demons on my part.

In the end, I would do whatever was best for Jax and the club. With everything they'd done for me, there was little I wouldn't do for them.

We headed back after Jax was satisfied that I was stuffed. My stomach even formed the slightest of bumps to show how stuffed I was, which was proof enough.

When we got to the hospital though, we bumped into a beat up Juice in the waiting room. "Juice! Holy Crap what happened?" I walked right up to him and gently looked over his face. I was no doctor, but I spent four years intensively studying sports medicine for my minor, concentrating on skin to skin contact sports. You know, wrestling, boxing, UFC fighting, all that stuff, so I knew a good deal about those kind of injuries.

"It's nothing Anna, I'm fine," Juice said dejectedly, trying to push me off. He looked upset and pissed, so unlike the Juice I was used to being around.

"You're not fine, but you will be. Nothing is broken, but this cut up here might scar," I said softly, my finger gently running over the cleaned up cut on his cheek. I leaned up and placed a light kiss on the skin right below it. "Don't worry, scars just add to your sexiness." I used my low seductive voice and winked at him, my smirk forming into a full on grin when he smiled at my antics.

Clay walked back from the direction of the restrooms, and Juice instantly turned to him. "Stahl just went in to see Gemma a minute ago."

"Aw shit." Clay and Jax both took off toward Gemma's room.

With me right behind them. "I don't want Gemma with her." Both of them stopped and turned around, exchanging looks with each other.

Jax let out a long sigh and shrugged. "Stahl already knows about Anna anyways, better she meets her now than chance Stahl cornering her later on."

I looked over at Clay, who let out a resounding sigh and brought his hand up to rub his temples. "Anna, you go in there, that means you keep your mouth shut and control your temper. We got enough problems with that bitch, and you got your mom's temper so you really gotta watch yourself. Got it?"

I nodded my head, biting my lip out of habit from being slightly nervous.

"Alright, c'mon." Jax and I followed Clay to the room, who was immediately blocked by the agent at the door.

"I'm not gonna let yer gash boss give my Ol' Lady a heart attack, I'm going in!" Clay was a scary man, and he was not playing. The agent even looked nervous as he tried to stand his ground.

"It's okay," a new female voice sounded from Gemma's room. The door opened to reveal an older, light haired woman that had a sneer on her face. "Come on in gentleman, oh and lady it seems. You should hear this as well."

She looked me up and down, making my temper rise just from her scrutinizing, but I held my tongue. "You must be Ms. Anna McGee. I was wondering when I'd finally see you," Stahl said, the look on her face disgustingly faux pleasant.

"Sidelsky, actually." My tone was crisp and cold, walking in behind Jax and going right to the chair by Gemma's bedside.

"Of course, you changed to your mother's maiden name several years ago... sorry." She stared at me for a moment longer, but I held my ground and glared back at her, chanting in my head over and over again to stay calm.

I hated that woman. I hated her even before then, but she was the reason that everything was so screwed up. Now that I saw her for myself, I felt that hate grow. Her entire attitude and the way she held herself was so condescending and fake that it was making me sick.

"Well I see why you boys kept your mouth shut about her. She's a little out of the league of all the other women you boys like to run around with," Stahl said in that same fake voice, her eyes moving from me to Gemma.

I was now physically biting my tongue and my hand gripped the arm of the chair so hard that my knuckles were turning white.

"Cut the bullshit Stahl and get on with it," Clay growled, glaring at Stahl just as hard as I was. Man I really did wish that the Marvel world existed and I could just hire a mutant to set this bitch on fire or something.

Stahl looked at Clay with that annoying and horrible fake smile, pausing for a moment before she spoke again, looking at Gemma. "The U.S. Attorney has refused to honor the deal. Says he has no proof that you were actually going to turn yourself in."

I took a sharp breath, really struggling at this point not to lash out. That stupid bitch.

Jax and Clay looked as pissed as I did. "You lying piece of shit," Clay growled angrily.

"Hey, hey! Don't shoot the messenger!" Stahl brought her hands up in mock defense, that perpetual condescending demeanor as apparent as ever.

She leaned over the end of the bed, looking right at Gemma. "Between you and me, I think he's gonna press you real hard for intel on the club. Which means.." She drew out the sentence, as if for dramatic effect. "Either you give up your boys, or your boys give up you."

My fists were literally shaking in anger now, my nails pressed so hard into the skin of my palm that I was almost positive I drew blood.

"Have a nice life," Stahl said with that same smug smile on her face before turning on her heel and leaving the room, both Clay and Jax herding her out.

I didn't think I ever hated someone so much before. In fact, I didn't think I ever truly knew what hate was until that moment. That piece of shit agent was the reason my family was falling apart, the reason why they all went through so much pain and heartache. I finally understood what 'burning hate' meant. I wanted nothing more that to make that bitch pay for every single second of pain and turmoil she brought onto my family.

Clay kicked the door in anger, the room thick with emotions. I was practically shaking from the hate and anger coursing through me.

It was a soft sob of anguish that escaped from my Godmother that turned my anger into a stab right in my heart. My Godmother NEVER cried in front of the boys. I had only seen her cry maybe twice in my entire life.

A wave of despair washed over me when I looked at Gemma's face. She looked so broken right then, something that unnerved me to the core. The cries and soft sobs that left her made me physically hurt on the inside.

I hated feeling so helpless. I couldn't do anything to make this better or comfort her.

Clay instantly went to her, bringing her close and kissing her head. Gemma clung to him with her free hand, her soft broken sobs echoing throughout the room.

I reached forward and grabbed her cuffed hand, gently squeezing the soft skin to try and comfort her. Leaning my other hand on the arm of the chair, I covered my face with my free hand, trying to get some control over my own emotions. I wasn't going to add to the mood by adding my own tears as well.

This family was everything to me. Gemma meant the world to me, and if I could switch places with her right then, I would do it without a second thought. To see her look so broken was enough to undo my resolve, but I couldn't let it happen. The last thing she needed was to see how much it effected me to add to her own stress, and it was the last thing the guys needed as well.

I took my hand away from my face for a moment, watching Jax as he studied the three of us, the pain and anger on his face rising by the second. He met my eyes for just a second before a snarl formed on his mouth and he flung open the door and slammed it behind him at an alarming speed.

He was going to do something, I knew it. Jax was at the point of desperation and he hated that woman. Seeing Gemma cry would be enough to light a dangerous fire in him.

I didn't go after him though. I couldn't, not with the desperate grip Gemma had on my hand. I gripped her hand just as hard, not letting it go.

I lost track of time of how long we sat there in pretty much the same positions. Clay and I wouldn't let go of Gemma and she just as desperately clung to us. Her quiet sobs didn't soften for awhile, and when they did she just slumped against Clay, drained emotionally drained with red rimmed eyes. I reached over and took a tissue, dabbing the tears off her face so she could still hold on to Clay, who was settled right next to her in the bed.

"Thanks babygirl." Gemma choked out and let go of Clay to blow her nose with the tissue.

I had no idea what to say or do at that point. Really, there wasn't anything I could say and even if their was I didn't think I'd be able to get the words out. Seeing Gemma like this made a lump form in my throat and I didn't trust myself to speak.

Clay checked his phone and let out a breath, turning his head to look at me. "Angel, why don't you head back to the clubhouse? Tell the guys to head back too, they could all use some sleep. I'm gonna stay here with my girl." He leaned over to kiss Gemma.

I nodded my head and wiped a hand over my face to get a hold of myself. I let out a long sigh and looked over at Gemma. "I love you Gem. So much," I said softly, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"I love you too baby. Go take care of my boys for me." She had a strained smile on her face through the streaks of tears leftover.

"Be good Angel," Clay said when I walked over to him, smiling slightly when I kissed him on the forehead.

"Good night guys." My voice was soft and I prided myself on not letting it crack from the heavy feeling that settled on my heart as I walked out of the room with my purse slung over my shoulder.

Tig, Juice, and Bobby were still in the waiting room when I got there. All three of them stood up when they saw me. "Everything okay?" Bobby asked first, all three of them looking at me.

I tried to say something, but I couldn't. Seeing Gemma like that really shook me up. All I could do was shake my head as I moved my arms up to hug myself.

"Clay said for all of us to go back and get some sleep," I managed to get out in a soft, quiet voice.

Tig stared at me intently with those crazy blue eyes, trying to meet my gaze. "C'mere Dollface." He stepped forward and enveloped me in a warm hug. It took a couple of seconds for my hands to let go of my arms, slipping inside his cut and wrapping around his broad back.

I let out a long sigh as his hands moved soothingly up and down my back. I was pretty tall for a girl, maybe half an inch to an inch shorter than Gemma without her boots, but I still only reached Tig's chest. Burying my face in his chest with his chin resting on my head, I inhaled the familiar scent combination of aftershave, motor oil, and cigarettes.

"Thank you," I quietly, my voice muffled since I hadn't moved. Sometimes, a hug was just what I needed, though it couldn't be a hug from just anyone. Tig wasn't affectionate with any women outside a very exclusive few, and I was lucky enough to be on one of them. He gave the best hugs. He used to bribe me to keep quiet about it when I was a kid to keep his image, but over the years he loosened up.

Still in Tig's arms, I turned my head and looked over at Bobby. Though I felt better, I wanted the hug to last a little longer. "Hey Bobby? How is the club looking money wise right now?"

Bobby let out that sigh that I knew meant bad news. "Not too good, unless we get back the money we used on the mercenary. Why?"

"Cause I can add some to it. And I will whether you like it or not," I rushed out the last part since it looked like Bobby was going to protest.

"You're a real Angel, you know that?" Tig said squeezing me tight. Smiling softly, I pulled away slightly to lean up and give him a friendly peck on his lips. "And you are amazing and know me too well."

Tig had a huge smirk on his face then. "Ya know... I could always get to know you better and then you can really see how amazing I am."

That did actually make me laugh and I pulled away from him to give him a light smack on the chest. "Down boy! I shoulda known that hug wouldn't come without you being a perv," I said making the others laugh.

"What did you expect?" Juice said from next to me, earning a glare from Tig and a giggle from me.

"Come on gentlemen and Tig." I smirked at the scowl on his face. "Escort me home!" I tugged on Tig and Bobby's arms and the four of us walked to the parking lot, the three of them trying to keep my spirits up and didn't ask me anymore questions about Gemma. I couldn't feel anything but loved around them

I loved these guys, no matter what people might think about them or the things they've done in the past. If ever I needed proof of the good left in this world all I had to do was look at the club, my family. And later that night, I would go out and win as much money as I could to help them out, because I knew they would do the same for me.

Family looked out for each other and helped each other without strings attached, and I would do everything in my power to help out these people that were my world, no matter what the cost.

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_**Author's Note:**_

**First off, I am so, so sorry for not updating in the last week. I've been swamped with finals and using all the leisure time I normally had to write this story for studying. I'm at the point where I am dreaming in Middle English for my Chaucer final. It will all be over by Monday, and hopefully I will have another long chapter for you by that night if I'm motivated enough to write it and not completely drained from studying. **

**Second of all, thank you all so much for your reviews and PMs. They seriously played a huge part in me finishing this chapter during my study breaks. I love hearing what all of you had to say and I was ecstatic by the number of you that responded.**

**In this Chapter, it's very introspective of Anna as a person. You learn more from her here than probably any other chapter, and not gonna lie I did get choked up when I wrote that part about Gemma crying. It made me hate Stahl all over again, and afterwards I watched the season finale just to get all happy again by the ending.**

**For the next chapter, and this is thanks to _Paint Me Red_, I will write a chapter from either Happy or Tig's point of view, depending on who's head I have an easier time getting into. I think it's an interesting challenge posed, and I had yet to come across a first person account on any of them. I know I asked before, and some of you didn't agree with the changing Point of View, but I was intrigued by the challenge as I had not thought to do it using either of those complex characters, and will offer a different look at Anna. I would still love some thoughts on the idea though,**

**You all rock by the way, your reviews are what motivated me to finish this chapter over the week. I love knowing what you all think of the story and it really humbles me that you all took the time to write me some feedback. Thanks so much everyone, I'm dedicating this chapter to you!**

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_**Alive at 2PM, HermioneandMarcus, jen, Keptlady:**_** Thank you all for the wonderful words of encouragement! I am glad to know you all still like the story and continue to read it! Your reviews mad me smile and I am flattered that you like it! Hope you like this one just as much!**

_**SummoningShadows18:**_** Your review had me laughing, so thank you for that. I studied the characters very carefully from the show and I'm glad I managed to capture them in writing. Tig so far is my favorite to write, he reminds me of my best guy friend. Anna herself just makes me laugh, I have a blast writing her and learning more about her. As for Anna's love interest, when I started I had no clue who it would be, but took a shot in the dark and thought it would be either Happy or Tig. I was going to base it on whoever it made the most sense and she had the most chemistry with, and so far its looking like Happy, though nothing is certain. You'll have to keep reading to find out ;-)**

_**CGandJaz**_**: First of all, you are incredible introspective. and I'm starting to think we somehow share thoughts over the internet or something. I was thinking the exact same thing when I created Anna to begin with from all the documentaries, books, and movies I've studied about criminal groups. I've also been dating a guy in an MC for the last four years so I took my cue from what I observed around me. I'm glad that it makes sense, and really your reviews rock. You are probably one of my top favorite reviewers and you always have really deep things to say, so thank you for that. I really value your opinion and feedback, so thank you for them. I hope you enjoyed this update as well, and I kept in mind your review as I wrote it!**

_**BikerLover: **_**I'm glad you liked that interaction between Anna and Happy, I had a lot of fun writing it. Happy is a complex character and the last season really did a genius job of revealing a lot about his character, and I tried to capture it as best as I could. I think I will change one of the genres to 'Family' in this story because Anna being the main character really reveals the importance of family, especially in this chapter. You were right as well, as a kid I imagine she was a handful and hard for the guys to resist, but going into the club, all the guys knew straight up that this was more than just a club, it was a family. Unfortunately I have no Anna/Happy scene for you here, but hopefully I will in the next chapter. Thanks so much for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the update!**

_**Paint Me Red:**_** First off, I am sorry for not PMing you back as quickly as I usually do, like I said finals got me swamped. And WOW you are the first person to let me know that they caught on to Anna being McGee's daughter since I started this story! Props to you! I am taking your suggestion for the next update, and I am glad you recognize the Tig portrayed in the third season in my story. Hope this update will hold you over to the next one!**

_**go4itgirl:**_** I'm really thrilled that you like it, I find Anna and Happy as a pair to be compelling, yet opposing characters. I will enjoy writing more of their interactions in the future, and I hope you will enjoy reading them!**

_**HapsOldLady: **_**First I want to say, thank you for taking the time to review and read my story, as I like hearing everyone's opinion and thank you for saying that I stay true to the Sons' TV personas, as that is one of my goals for the chapter. The thing about Anna is that she should come off as spoiled and slightly annoying. She was babied big time her entire life by all these guys, and yes she gets away with a lot. She's not a brat mind you, but she's definitely spoiled and annoying. I've learned through years of writing that the point of a character is not always to have everyone like them, but be able to understand and connect with them. As for Happy, well I would completely agree with you about his nature Pre-Season Three, but as I said to some others, Kurt Sutter did a very clever thing about showing the different layers of the characters. I watched all the seasons back to back through Amazon Video (bless it, I was able to buy all of the episodes of SOA Season Three only hours after it aired, which saved me as I didn't have FX for awhile) and I saw the different layers that we learn about all the characters through the season. No character is the same as they were at the end of the previous season. I didn't start really adoring Happy until this season, and that's because I love the character of him that was revealed. He's not violent within the members of the club and toward the Old Ladies. Anna isn't an Old Lady but she's born into the club, and he's not stupid enough to lay a hand on her or any of the other women that hold some type of rank within the club other than sweetbutt or croweater. That's why I see him using his words. I asked around the members in my guy's (Old Man's) MC and they all told me without knowing anything about me writing this they all said that if one of the other members kids ran over their bikes with a car and totally wrecked it, that's not going to be forgiven easily if at all, especially if they're teenagers, as they all for the most part agreed that teenagers are the worst, and they would have no problem expressing their anger toward them even if they couldn't flat out smack them. I went off what they said, and it's fine if you don't like it, it's just where I am coming from. Thank you again for taking the time to read.**

_**DawnTully:**_** Your excitement makes me smile and gets me excited to, so thanks for that. You posed a very interesting and entirely possible theory that I have to say really impressed me. You must have done some very close reading of the stories to come up with that theory, which is totally awesome! I am also glad you like the chemistry between the two of them, that was one of my goals with the chapter as well. I didn't realize that any experience within an MC shows up that much, but thank you for that! It was really what motivated me to write the story as others are all done with a character that just popped into their lives rather than one thats always been there. I hope you liked this update, and stay tuned to see if your theory is correct!**

_**Vigilant Reader: **_**Once again, thank you for a fantastic and detailed review that you never fail to give me. One little thing though, I don't want any fighting between reviewers like I had seen in some other stories. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion and viewpoint of seeing things and really, reviews are meant just for the author and not anyone else anyways. That being said, I love that you see my portrayal of the characters that way, it is a huge compliment to any writer. I literally watch that show whenever I can just to observe and study more things about the characters. Anna's love for Gemma and the guys is what I tried to really dig into in this chapter, as it is central to her character and to her life. She really takes it to heart when something happens to any of them and her love for them is the kind of love that only someone that grew up in the club could have. For me personally, I love all the guys I know in my guy's MC, but I don't know if I could ever say that I would give them all everything. I know I would for my own guy, and some others but all of them, I am not so certain. Anna would though, because she loves them that match. I hope that's what you saw in this update and I cannot wait to hear from you again!**

_**Cat Lea Takersdarkone:**_** Haha, I agree with you on that, Anna is totally using the shield of the club to her advantage when it comes to Happy. All guys there have some kind of a heart, it would be reckless and dangerous to have some cold-hearted violent sociopath in the club, and SAMCRO has to be smart about their members or else things like Kyle Hobart from Season One and that stupid Prospect Shepard this past season happen. Here's another long chapter for you and I promise you won't have to wait so long for the next one.**

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**Thank you all again for all your reviews and thanks to all those that subscribed and added this story to their favorites!**

**Reviews are very much loved and appreciated, so please leave back any feedback you might have. Any and all is appreciated and thank you for reading.**

**Stay tuned for next time!**


	10. Bourbon in Your Eyes

****Happy's POV****

The ride back from Bakersfield took longer than usual. Some god damn shithead driving a truck lost control of the breaks and blocked up half the road, causing slow moving traffic for miles. Couldn't even weave through the traffic on my bike.

Ride was worth it though. Ma needed those 'scrips badly. Doc wouldn't let me see her, said she was resting, and she'd be better by tomorrow with the pain killers in her. I'll probably ride up assuming Clay don't got anything for me to do. Fuck that, I'll ride up anyways. Hadn't seen Ma in awhile, and I ain't liked leavin' her alone for long. It was bad enough I had to leave her a couple of years back when I did time on that assault charge. Now that she was in the Hospice, I ain't missing a chance to see her.

My Ma, she's a classy lady. Raised me all by herself and did everything she could for me. It was just the two of us for years, and since I been a kid, I did all I had to so Ma would be as safe as possible, even if it meant me getting into this whole gig. Didn't mind it, Sons are all about family. Ma came first, but over the years that line that seperated Ma from the Sons was getting thinner. Didn't matter though, Ma was always first in my book, and that ain't gonna change.

Got back just as Jax was calling the guys into Church. From the look on Jax's face, I figured I'd get to take my bad mood from the god damn trip out on something. Yea well, that didn't happen, but the VP did give us a heads up on some seriously twisted plans he had in mind. Anything to do less time and get rid of that ATF bitch. I already told Clay, if she tried to fuck with my ma to get to the club, nothing was gonna stop me from blowing her head off.

Offered to go with Jax for backup, but he said straight up he had to do it alone. Left me little choice but to stick around and have some drinks with the others. Not like there was anything else to do, only a few of the sweetbutts roamed around, and the ones that were Jax sent to take care of Gemma's house and take the damn bird to the vet.

Wasn't too bad though, hanging with my brothers then. I relaxed around them, could just sit back and chill outside of Church or some party. Been happening more and more lately, but it ain't a time when anyone was really in the mood to party. Too much shit going down that even getting trashed and fucking could help with. This wasn't bad though, 'specially with Piney pouring the drinks. Jack and coke to him was just whiskey with a drop of pop.

Koz rode in a little while ago, transfer papers and everything ready. He'd been hit in the head one too many times if he thought Tig was gonna vote him in, but telling him was useless. Piney just kept pouring all of us drinks to keep anyone from getting too heated.

"You actually let some stupid wetbacks take your cut? What the fuck's wrong with you?" Koz was cracking up along with everyone else, clapping Juice on the shoulder. They were all busting his balls about letting some pussy little Mayans take his cut. What did they expect, the kid didn't have the balls to go after the fuckers on his own to get his shit back.

Tig leaned forward next to me so he could look at Juice, already on his third beer. "You gotta use your brain man, shoulda thrown some nachos at 'em." I had to chuckle at that, taking a gulp of my bourbon. "Or offered them a green card," I added, sending the rest off in another round of laughter.

Gotta give the Puerto Rican credit, he was being really cool about it, even laughing.

"Dun ya worry Juicy-boy! We'll get yer cut back. Ye could always jus' call Immigration on 'em." Chibs said with a laugh to get his share in.

"God damn, I miss all the good shit," Koz said, gulping down the rest of the beer. "When things get settled we gotta- Whoa!" He jolted up straight and stared at something away from the beer.

I was taking a swig of the bourbon when all the rest of them started whistling and clapping. Probably a croweater or something, and I didn't ever turn down a show on a piece of free ass. Turning around on the stool, my eyes went straight to one killer set of legs. God damn, _real _nice, especially in black leather boots. I'd always been a leg man, and that hot set took my eyes up those long legs to slim hips with that sensuous curve in that hot little skirt, skin tight black leather shirt with long sleeve showed off nice sized tits. Long blonde curls were perfect for burying my hand in them and giving them a nice pull- oh fuck no, it couldn't be.

"Turn 'round, give us a show love!" Chibs yelled, standing up and still clapping and whistling. Koz was right next to him, letting out a long whistle.

Motherfucker. That was seriously _her._ Just my fucking luck.

Tig slammed his bottle on the table, huge shit eating grin on his face when he walked over to her, looking at her up and down. "Shit, is it my birthday or something? Since when the fuck do you wear skirts? Lipstick? God damn!" He grabbed her hand, looking her up and down with that 'get some now' look on his face. I rolled my eyes, it's the same shit all over again. The god damn little brat was milking it up too, biting her lip and her cheeks turning red, that whole little act.

"Christ, will you guys knock it off? It's just a little makeup and a skirt, you've seen chicks walking around here wearing way less than this." I dropped my gaze back to her legs. She may be a pain in the fucking ass, but she really got easy on the eyes over the years. Till yesterday I never woulda guessed she had a tight body like that hidden under all those baggy clothes she wore.

"Yea but we haven't seen _you_ walkin' around here lookin' like that Dollface. High heel boots, mini skirt, and this beautiful leather shirt that makes- whoa, whoa, whoa." Tig held up her hand, turning her arm around to reveal back part of the sleeve missing and nothing but a spread out thin gold chains laying across bare skin. "Let's get a spin- God damn!"

Her shirt that was solid black leather covering her whole front was completely bare from behind, held together by thin gold chains going across her back.

Fuck. Why the hell was I even looking at her? I didn't give a fuck if she had a nice set of gams and a tight body, I couldn't stand that little bitch. She was a fucking brat that didn't know her place. It didn't help that all the others treated her like a little spoiled Princess. Especially Tig, and I called him a brother. The brat had them eating out of her hand, and I couldn't fucking standing it. It showed big time then, all of them giving a wolf whistle and telling her how good she looks. Koz looked like he was gonna cream himself. He always went for the blonde Barbie type.

I downed the rest of my bourbon, keeping back the snarls. I was getting sick of Tig telling me to get over it and leave her alone. Little bitch ran over the bike Ma used the last of her life savings to get me, why would I even wanna get over that? Maybe I woulda eased up if the brat didn't have such a mouth. There were times where I seriously had to remember what Clay would do to me if I hit her into place, she had no fucking respect.

"Tell me honey, why haven't I see ya around at any of the parties around here?" I glanced over to see Koz put his hand on her knee. She just sat there with raised eyebrows and an amused smile twisting up on her bright red painted lips.

"Get your hands off her, she ain't a fucking sweetbutt, I told you at twice at the lockdown that she's off limits!" Piney was pouring me a new drink, nearly spilled it when he slid it over to me. Old man looked like he was ready to throttle Koz cause the little princess had her honor threatened. I felt my mood darkening by the second, taking another swig of the bourbon before lighting up again

"You did?" The look on his face was god damn priceless after he looked at her harder and realized that it was the SAMCRO Princess. "Holy shit!" There went Koz's plans for the night.

"Yea, Sorry _honey_." She used same sweet, sarcastic tone she used with me and picked up his hand, practically throwing it at him. "I'm not a sweetbutt, or a croweater. Do I really look like one?"

Tig let out a dark laugh, finishing the last of his beer. "Na, Dollface, you look hot. His memory is shot to shit so he wouldn't remember you. And he just ain't used to high class ass. On that note, I think you should start investing in more of them skirts."

I sent a dark look at Tig, the alcohol doing little to get rid my mood. Tig just needed to fuck her already and get her out of his system. I couldn't stand him looking at some chick like that, especially her. She ain't even anyone's Old Lady, and just cause Gemma and Piney were the suckers that got stuck taking care of her didn't mean she had to hang around all the god damn time. On top of all that she was annoying as fuck. Why the fuck would they put up with it?

I didn't get it. Tig, my brother, he was crazy about her. We did some hard times together, some hard missions for the club. I'd seen Tig do the most savage and inhuman things when it came to the Club. We pulled jobs together that no one else would be able to stomach doing. That same guy that scalped a man with a blade and used his hands to tear into another's flesh right off the bone was sitting next to this little bitch laughing and tugging on her hair.

On my fourth bourbon, I was still pissed as hell, and watching all of 'em surrounding her and talking and laughing like they were in some kind of a damn party didn't help. I didn't know what it was about her, but something about her just set me off. Wasn't always like that, didn't start really getting like this till three or so years ago, I didn't fucking remember at this point. She had a mouth since I met her, but damn little bitch just kept getting bolder and bolder, and then she noticed that they didn't look at her like the mouthy little brat she was, but checked out that tight ass of hers more. She milked it, and I couldn't fucking stand it.

I didn't get to this point in my life without knowing when someone was putting up an act or not. Yea people could hide their emotions and all that shit well, but never that well. That was what grated on my nerves about this girl, she played games, and she was damn good at them. I didn't trust people that played games and put up a front, and this bitch was all about the front. Yea she'd smile, flirt, do all that hot little shit to wrap them all around her finger, but she was doing this whole little act to keep something else about her back. Tig said to me couple of months back when she was here for the lockdown that I oughta just bash that punk ass boyfriend of hers head in and fuck her already cause it was starting to annoy him. Fucker had a couple of drinks at that point, but that still didn't stop me from clocking him in the head. That wasn't it at all, though I wouldn't have minded bashing that shithead's face in, he had no respect. We had a run in several times that first day, and I had enough of being near the brat.

Fuck that girl irritated me, everything about her. No one got under my skin the way she did, but then again those that had before never lasted long. She had this self assured smugness to her, the way she slunk up to the guys here like some damn cat. One look at her face just set something off in me, those damn eyes were the trigger. They were these god damn huge Bush Baby olive green cat eyes that were just sparked with something that I couldn't even describe. It was like challenging kinda mocking, with a mix of other things that I couldn't name. I've pulled a gun on people for looking at me with that look, but she did it all the god damn time, and I fucking hated that I couldn't do shit to her. The girl may drive me out of my mind, but I ain't no punk ass, I respected my brothers.

Even if it meant I couldn't deal with that bitch like she oughta be dealt with. Couldn't even count the number of times I almost backhanded that hot little smirk off her face.

Tig told me though, he told me that morning after she ran over my bike that if I ever laid a hand on her, he won't hesitate to put a bullet through me, even if he is my brother. I didn't fucking get it, he wasn't even hittin' that.

I didn't know why he wasn't. Pain in the ass as she was, she became a looker. My eyes slid over to her, trailing down from those wild honey curls, huge ass eyes, hot little mouth, all leading down to a slim, tight body with gentle curves, and god damn nice legs. The bourbon was getting to me quicker than usual, it had to be cause my eyes were staying on those hips and that set of legs, just barely listening to what they were all talking and laughing about.

Why the fuck was I even looking at her? There were croweaters with bodies way better than hers, especially the Cara Cara girls with those insane curves with their racks spilling out of their shirts. Who gives a shit if they were fake, if I could grab 'em that was real enough for me.

Fine, I could admit that the broad caught me off guard yesterday, and that was probably the only reason I wasn't starting anything with her at the moment. That was probably the first time she had ever been straight up and real with me, not hiding behind her little act. I could appreciate that, knew what it took, so I gave her that bit of respect. She hid behind this carefree smug charm, that everyone else went nuts for, which only pissed me off. Shit, when she was racing at neck breaking speed to get to Gemma, that was the first time I saw a glimpse of raw emotion I used to think she was too spoiled and self-centered to even have the capacity to feel.

Shame what happened with Gemma, but damn that girl's face when I saw her tending to Clay's Old Lady was a sight to see. Least it showed me that even though she was a brat and a pain-in-the-ass, she ain't a rotten airhead. She put up a lot of masks though, like the robotic one she used last night, walking around like a zombie. I knew those tricks damn well, and the last thing anyone needed was wasting time worrying about her having an emotional tantrum.

That was the first time I ever been that close to her, hell even touched her, She smelled good though. Real good.

"...so I go up behind Tank while he's still tweaking on shrooms. I have my arms around his waist and I don't even look at the cop, just look at Tank and go, 'Baby what are you doing here! You're supposed to be in bed, you can't walk around after you take your Ambian!' I give this whole sob story on how he's still getting used to the new dosage, had trouble sleeping from all those years serving in Iraq. Then Gemma comes out at like perfect timing, pretending to be Tank's sister and flipping out on me. Cop ate it up, it was perfect. Man did Tank get so much shit for it after though, Clay put him on barf rag duty the next morning. And there were a lot of first time tweakers that night too." They were all laughing and chuckling, her lips moved into that grin that was damn contagious, and all of them caught it.

Piney was definitely serving up The Dirty Bird tonight. Drinks were hitting me too damn hard, cause I was thinking about all the different things her lips could do other than smile.

"God damm Anna, how the hell did no one snatch you up as a Old Lady?" Koz said, his arm around Anna then. Fucking hell, this clown's fallen for her charms too. He really was gunning for that ass.

"Are you kidding me? I'd make the worst Old Lady ever!" She said shaking her head, the damn laugh ringing out again. God fucking damnit, I needed another drink.

"C'mon Anna, Gemma been groomin' you for years, and shit Beth was a prime example man," Tig said reaching forward and throwing Koz's arm off her.

"That's exactly why I'd make a horrible Old Lady, I saw what all of them had to deal with, and I wouldn't be able to do some of the stuff they did for you figures of masculinity and badassness." She took a sip of the iced tea, red lips closing around the straw.

I downed the almost full glass of bourbon.

"Ya know tha club lass, know tha way things work. Yer the kinda lassie we should have." Chibs worshipped that little bitch, though rumor was he had a major thing for her Old Lady in the past.

"Oh please. I wouldn't take orders without question. I respect club business, but if I'm given an order, I'm not just gonna skip off and do it for no obvious reason. I'm too close to the club to not want to be involved or informed. That's another reason, I'm not just some girl. As Clay likes to say, I'm the technical 'First Daughter.' That's way too much pressure for anyone to take me on as an Old Lady, cause they screw up with me, consequences would be way worse. Not a lot of you gentlemen are up for risking your asses by putting yourself in that position." I lit up another smoke, listening to the guys all give their comments on the whole thing. My brain was starting to swirl from the liquor, which wasn't all that bad right then. Didn't wanna fuckin' think with that god damn pain in the ass bitch so close. God damn, she shoulda stayed the fuck away.

"Oh and here's the kicker, that would totally strike me from ever being an Old Lady." She leaned forward, then taking a dramatic pause with a her eyebrows raised, lips shaped in that smug fucking smirk. "Cheating for me is a deal breaker. Even on the runs." That earned a chorus of protests from everyone, forcing me to turn my head away from them to chuckle darkly under my breath, cigarette in one hand and my refilled class of bourbon in the other.

"That's messed up Dollface. You know runs are different territory." Tig was shaking his head, looking horrified by the very thought of being without his choice of pussy whenever he pleased.

Chibs looked more amused than horrified. "Dun know how ya expect that t'happen Love."

"I don't, that's the thing." From the corner of my eye, I watched her fingers glide over her the wild curls, my mind was definitely feeling the effects of the liquor. I was good at holding my liquor, and the tipsy effect usually wore off quickly. Till then though, I was looking at her way too much and it wasn't pissing me off as much as it usually did. "I realize that it's way too much to ask of you oh so faithful gentleman to stick to one chick, but that's a must have for me. If I manage to have enough respect for my guy to not screw with other guys whenever I go somewhere, I don't think it's too much to ask for the same in return. Besides..."

My gaze went right back to her legs when they uncrossed and crossed as she leaned forward, getting the guys to listen closely. "With the way I can satisfy a man, I'd ruin all other women for him anyways." Her hand rested on Koz's thigh, him with a big smug grin on his face and her with that brazen little smirk. A loud cough from Piney was enough for that grin to leave and Tigs reached out and took her hand off Koz's leg.

I barely registered anything she said, very blatantly staring at her legs at that point. I didn't touch the bourbon yet, I needed to clear my head first. The fact that I was thinking like this about that little bitch meant that I needed to chill the fuck out.

No one thought twice about how I sat there without saying a word, though Tig kept looking over at me, catching me staring. I was too far gone to give a fuck. There really needed to be some god damn good pussy walking around here.

"Where you goin' dressed like that anyways Angel?" Piney asked from next to me. I wasn't looking at him, but from the way she uncrossed her legs tucked them to the side all ladylike and shit meant that he probably didn't look thrilled.

"Well... you guys are short on cash and I heard there was some major action going on in Fresno..." That part did make me look up at her face. I heard Tig mention at some point that the girl raced, and before yesterday I didn't believe it. As much as I hated to admit it, she knew how to drive. That muscle she handled was powerful, obviously made for racing. Smooth ride, real smooth ride...

My eyes went back to her legs.

"You think you're goin' all the way to Fresno by yourself? Fuck you are," Piney growled, slamming the glass on the table. "One or two of these bastards are going with you, we got too much shit goin' on for you to be out there on your own."

"Wait a minute, I've been going to these things for over six years!" And here came the temper tantrum. "I'll be just fine, none of you need to-"

"I'll go with her," Tig piped up from next to me, completely ignoring the brat. Made me smirk a bit while I put out the cigarette in the ash tray. "She's been promisin' to take me anyways."

"Fine, but you better watch her. I don't want her gettin' into any-"

"Whoa, hold up!" I watched the legs straighten out and stand, the heels _clacking_ on the floor. "Tig, I love you, but I'll be safer without you. That scene isn't like the parties here, you have an insatiable libido and a mean temper. In that place, it's not going to end well. I'll end up taking him home drunk and with a black eye and possibly another bullet in him. Plus he's gonna get drunk so how is he supposed to ride his bike back?"

"I could always ride with you, that ain't a problem. Someone else can tag along and there won't be any trouble and you'll be safe. Sound good?" I gazed hard at Tig's arm when it snaked around her waist, not letting any expression pass through my face.

The little brat was playing the cute act again though, cause she slumped slightly against Tig and rolled those huge eyes of hers. "Brilliant, and who's gonna join? Bobby and Chibs are baked off their ass, Juice is definitely feeling those pain meds, you and Koz will kill each other and I don't want any blood in my car, Inky over there is beyond plastered, and Piney will be shooting any guy he feels isn't looking at me right."

I practically growled at her jab aimed right at me. Least this time I didn't start it, that fucking girl's mouth made the first move. "What the fuck you call me Little Girl?" I got off the bar stool, my balance was steady, not even giving away that my mind was still slightly blurred. It was another one of them glaring battles that we had, though until a couple of years back it was me doing it just to piss her off than her really pissing me off. She got all worked up about it, her big ass eyes narrowed in anger while I kept my cool, both entertained and annoyed by her frustration.

The little bitch took a step toward "Aw did a little nickname upset you? I didn't realize you were so sensitive afther a couple-"

"Anna! Shut the fuck up both of you," Piney snarled at both of us. It wasn't the first time he stepped in, wouldn't be the last. I wasn't about to disrespect one of the First Nine and the brat never went against him. My eyes stayed on her though, the fidgeting in her tense posture was making my lips curl into a dark smirk. I liked that I had an effect on her, meant she wasn't completely dense and had something other than air in her head.

"Tig, grab one of 'em with you. I don't give a damn who, but Clay will skin ya if any more shit goes down." Piney slammed the glass down and took the brat to the side, talking to her quietly. I let my eyes discreetly follow her to take in the view from behind. Not bad. If only she didn't talk, I might be able to deal with her.

Next to me, Tig was looking at all the guys, looking like he was trying to judge their states. Bobby was way too baked to do anything, and Juice looked like he really was feeling those painkillers. Chibs already got his hands on one of the croweaters that was walking around and didn't look like he was going anywhere but the bedroom. I managed to peel my eyes away from the girl's ass to cast a smirk at Tig. "Have fun with that brother,"

"Shit." He didn't even bother to hide his contempt when he stared at Koz.

"Come on man, it'll be cool. I got no issues going out and protectin' that hot little number," Koz said looking back at the girl and keeping himself mellow.

Didn't really make Tig better cause the next thing I knew, he was looking at me. "Fuck it. I rather deal with you two biting each other's heads off."

I glared over at the brat still talking to Piney and let out an annoyed huff. Didn't matter if I barely spoke to her, being around her didn't put me in the best of moods. "Take Koz, I ain't dealin' with her shit."

"C'mon Hap, you can check out that set of legs some more." Tig had a huge knowing smirk on his face as I gave him a hard glare. My mind still wasn't clear, but it was getting there, and I was getting pissed at myself for being so obvious about it.

I didn't wanna go anywhere with the brat, she grated my nerves and there was a lot of uneven footing between us. Tig asked though, and we always helped each other out when possible. "Supposed to be a lota' free pussy there right?" I put my cigarette out, not looking at Tig.

"Yea man, that shithead Anna used to date told me about it. The scene is flooded with booze, drugs, and pussy and they got the cops in their pockets everywhere. Lot'a chances to win some dough too." Alright that didn't sound too bad, make sure brat stayed alive and party.

"We takin' the bikes?"

"Na, no point if we gotta drive back all the way from Fresno. Anna can play designated driver, we just can't get wasted enough that we don't know what's going on."

I lit up another cigarette, mulling over the unpleasant idea of having to deal with the brat all night. It wasn't a fair trade off s'far as I was concerned. Go out and party with the little bitch or stay back with the same old croweaters. "I'll get my shit then," I said after exhaling a large cloud of smoke, looking back one more time for a view of her bare back with only thin gold chains keeping the so called shirt together

Tig had a huge smug as fuck smirk on his face and clapped me on the shoulder, not saying anything else. He walked over to where Piney was talking to the girl, saying something or other to them.

I headed to my room to grab some extra lead, just in case. Right before I got to the doorway, I heard a shriek that had me smirking instantly.

"TIG! You SUCK!"

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_**Author's Note**_**: I am so, so so SO sorry for taking so long to put this up. I barely had any time to breathe between finals and Christmas, plus I had a bit of trouble with this chapter, so it took me longer than usual. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!**

**Now as for this chapter, I had a Tig POV written as well, but I went with Happy only because he doesn't talk much by nature and it got the point I wanted to come across without dissecting his character too deeply. I went over it a billion times, but please let me know what you think. Both the characters are enigmas at their best and it took a lot of energy to get into their heads, particularly Happy.**

**Like I mentioned to some of you in PMs, I am portraying the characters as shown in Season Three. The brilliant Kurt Sutter did a very clever thing by giving us a little more about the characters each season allowing us to leave with a new understanding of them. For the record, Tig and Happy are badass. Period. HOWEVER, in this season we saw that Tig is not just some dickhead sexual sadist that doesn't give a crap about anything and Happy is not some hardened heartless killer who's life revolves around sex, bikes, and bullets. The care that Tig showed for Gemma and especially Tara was beautiful and deep, as it shows how he respects the women he cares about, whereas in other season he pretty much treated them all like toys (except Gemma). Happy is and always will be the most brutal and dangerous among the Sons, but it is going to be very hard to convince me the guy is heartless and cold when he went Nomad and then joined Redwood Original just so he could be close to his mom and take care of her. He does bad things, but he's not a bad guy. When in the prescription dealer's place, he rose his gun to defend her without hesitation. The sociopath that everyone claims he is doesn't hold water after this season, and frankly it's illogical. A 1% MC would not keep around someone that didn't have a sense of family and had uncontrollable bloodlust while walking around, smacking and screwing women. With the stuff the Sons do, they can't afford to have someone like that in ****their ranks. Not saying he's going to get sappy or something, but neither him nor Tig are animals, and I personally see it as insulting if I were to look at them like that.**

**That being said, I will hopefully have another Chapter up by this weekend. Now that I have free time, I am free to write all I want. I was really unsure about this chapter, though I kind of like it in the end. Objective opinions are greatly appreciated, as I want to know if it's possible to try something like this again.**

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_**Alive at 2PM, jj2629:**_** Sorry for the wait on this chapter guys, but I really hope it was worth the wait! Thanks so much for the encouragement and I hope to hear from you again!**

_**CGandJaz:**_** no joke, I was literally dreaming in Middle English at one point cause of Chaucer. I don't mind him too much, he's a sick and twisted man though. After my 25 research paper on T.S. Eliot, there is little that I hate more haha. Moving on though, Tig cracks me up and I love writing his interactions with Anna. They have a very natural flow that I'm still not sure if it's a simple fondness or sexual attraction. Or both, who knows with Tig. I was proud of myself for that twist I threw in about Anna's father, should make things much more interesting in the future. Belfast is coming up, and I doubt that Gemma would allow Anna to stay behind with all the enemies they have there and not as many around to protect her. Seeing her dear ol' Da will be something interesting to see though. As you suggested, here is Happy's POV, who just by the off chance you didn't know, is an extremely hard character to channel. Hope I didn't totally ruin the story for you!**

_**SummoningShadows18:**_** Ha you're right another review doesn't hurt, especially another one that made me laugh. Reading over that chapter when I was checking it had me hate Stahl all over again and just get so... grr. Here is another update, and I hope it inspired some passionate reaction like the last one, or another amusing reaction that would make me laugh. Hope you like it!**

_**KeptLady:**_** I am so so sorry for the wait, but I tried to make it worthwhile and promise another chapter very soon! My goal with this story was to blend Anna into the storyline while making it her own story as well. I am glad you approve thus far. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well, though we never see the scene on screen.**

_**JJ-Jefferu:**_** Don't sweat it, I know how crazy it gets when family is over, hence the delayed update. Anna is definitely a soft spot for Tig, and as I said to some others I love the flow of their relationship. Their banters are fun to write and I get so into it sometimes that I surprise myself on what manages to come out. I looked over you SOA story by the way, and you're right you do have a different portrayal of Happy, though that doesn't exactly make it wrong. Everyone on this site I learned has a different viewpoint of him, and it's kind of allowed as we are only given slivers of information on his character every season. While I don't ever see him going for love at first sight, he's definitely a lust-at-first-sight kinda guy, which you did capture. You have a lot of potential I think, and a decent enough grasp to be able to construct a good story. I hope this chapter at least gave you an idea of how I view Happy and might help you out. Thanks for your reviews! They make me smile.**

**_little miss michelle:_ I am so glad that you like this story and thank you for reading! Tig and Anna are fun to write, and Happy has his moments too. We can only wait now and see what happens. Hope you liked this chapter!**

_**tplant36: **_**I am honored that you liked my story enough to review, it means a lot to me. You have NO idea how jealous I am of Anna's relationship with Tig (He's my favorite character too). I tried for Tig's POV as well, but Happy's POV seemed to fit into the scene better. I had a lot of fun writing Tig's so expect one chapter in his POV in the future. Oh Juice, I do adore him. No lie, I had sat there and considered him and Anna getting together. They're both quirky and get along great, but after I got into Anna's head more, she would be the death of Juice. He wouldn't know what to do with her and she's difficult period. I adore Juice too much to do that to him I think. The fact that you took the time to review means a lot to me, and I am so glad you're enjoying the story. I hope this chapter isn't too much of a disappointment even though it's not Tig. Hopefully I'll hear from you again!**

_**Vigilant Reader:**_** No curvaceous beauty queen here, as you see, though Anna is far from a dog. Writing that last chapter was extremely emotionally trying, especially the scene with Gemma as you see they are extremely close. She's quite close with all of the Redwood Original, and like in the show, the central theme in this story is family. I'm glad you like how I blend her into the story as well, it takes some thought but I somehow managed without taking away the main point of the episode. And here is the Happy POV you rooted for, and once again you hit the mark right on the money. I took a long time to examine how Happy would view Anna, and as you see he has trouble figuring out his feelings toward her in general as well. I hope I didn't butcher him too horribly for you, but I have my battle armor on just in case (eep). Enjoy and I can't wait to hear from you again.**

_**DawnTully**_**: Heehee poor Juice, Anna probably teases and flirts with him like that relentlessly. I had fun writing that little interaction with them as well, glad you liked it ^_^. And here is Happy's POV as you wanted as well, I hope that it meets your standards. All this is just leading up to the grand moment, like in the finale where its "DIE STAHL HAH!" haha Enjoy the chapter!**

_**BikerLover:**_** Aw don't worry about it, many people didn't catch that Anna's original last name was McGee, I only mentioned it once in this chapter and sort of hinted it in other chapters. That should be a serious curveball on the things to come in Belfast, so stay tuned for that. Drama indeed. Thank you so much for the compliment by the way, that was my goal with the story, to capture the essences of the characters portrayed in the show more than make my own twist on them. They're so awesome, I wouldn't want to change them! Thank you again and here is Happy's POV for you, which I hope lived up to the hype. I hope to hear from you soon!**

_**Cat Lea Takersdarkone: **_**I'm glad the last chapter made you feel better after a long week, I know what that's like. I really liked going deeper into Anna's character. Hopefully this chapter made you happy as well! (No Pun Intended)**

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**Stay turned for this weekend, for it's off to the races! I wish you all a Happy New Year and hope you have a great time celebrating it! **

**Reviews are happiness, and happiness makes me inspired enough to write more! Thanks for reading!**


	11. Queen of the Road

The engine roared loudly while I sped down an ideally empty highway, Kid Rock's _American Badass_ blasted through the speakers, I was on my way to my scene, and yet I was still far from pleased. A good deal of that could be attributed to the two sitting in the car with me, smoking like chimneys and laughing about something or other. I was asked an occasional question about where we were going, but other than that I pretended I was concentrating on the road. I really didn't need to, I knew the way to Fresno better than I would ever admit to anyone in my family.

This was not how I planned my night.

It wasn't that I didn't completely and utterly adore Tig, but I knew him far better than most. Since I first met him over thirteen or so years or so, I was very familiar with his temperament and general nature. Tig really, really liked women, that was no secret. He liked his women, his booze, his drugs, and he got off on intimidating people with an occasional brawl once in awhile. I had a strong feeling that by bringing him to the street racing scene, where all the things he loved were found, I was opening Pandora's box.

Okay so that might not have been the only reason I wasn't thrilled. Despite the fact that Piney calls me his daughter, I still didn't like it when he told me off. Granted, that wasn't the first time he did, but I usually didn't have it weigh me down like now. I felt like I was a little kid again when he told me about watching my mouth around members outside of SAMCRO. It was one thing for me to mouth off in front of them, but a totally other thing when there were members of other chapters around. Piney told me I was lucky that Koz was so close to the Mother Chapter, but he made it clear that if it happened again I wouldn't like the result. It didn't matter whether I liked a member or not, when Sons not in SAMCRO were around, I was to hold my tongue.

I understood, hell I knew I was being purposely vexatious the entire time. The way Happy was looking at me made me feel weird, and goading him always snapped him back to his good ol' 'happy' self. Tig and Koz had been at their playground bullshit for as long as I could remember, I didn't even think of the fact that he wasn't SAMCRO, but I did know better. I hated it when Piney was right, but I never went against my Godfather.

I was raised by SAMCRO, the only little girl from the First Nine. I loved growing up in the club, it was a big family to me and each of them had a hand at raising me, and I knew the affection they held for me. Piney really stepped up when my dad walked out on us and went back to his home in Ireland. He took me to school, made sure I never wanted for anything and kept Aaron and I out of trouble. Jax, Aaron, and I were raised close, spending almost every day at Teller-Morrow and with the Sons. I was pretty much a pariah at school because everyone knew I was a kid of the club and were either too scared or too high and mighty to associate with the kid of an outlaw. Man did it make me angry as hell when that people looked down at them, after all the pains that they had all gone through to keep Charming as safe as possible. That was something that always set me off, and as a kid with an even shorter fuse than I had now, it was the source for a lot of trouble.

The club was always there for me, all doing the best they could to make life as good for me as possible despite the many dangerous situations they faced. In return though, there was absolutely nothing that I wouldn't do for them. Although at that moment I was questioning myself on that 'do anything for them' part, with Tig relaying to Happy all the things he heard from my wonderful ex about the scene, sounding like a kid on Christmas.

"There are actually bitches that do those car magazine ads walkin' around with some crews, they're even trained, it's fuckin' mind blowin' man!" I rolled my eyes at Tig, just from the tone he had I knew he was getting way too excited.

"You do know it's not a free for all right?" I glanced over at him briefly as I switched gears to pass a couple of cars. "The girls there stay with the crews that pay for the sweatbands they call skirts, and you need permission from whatever crew they are with to get with them. Just sayin'." The girls there that were racers or mechanics were the sweetbutts of the racing world, and I couldn't stomach them. See, Croweaters I could understand. A lot of them there was no place else for them to go, and the guys kept them safe and put a roof over their heads and provided them with food and protected them. It didn't work like that in the racing world, the girls made themselves to be little better than prostitutes.

Tig of course waved off my warning. "Pssh, don't worry about me Dollface, I'll manage. Ritter gonna be there?" I held back a grimace at that, realizing how stupid it was of me to not ask.

"I don't know. He might be," I said in a cool tone. I really didn't feel like dealing with Dante after the crazy week I had, especially with Tig right there. The club never liked any of my boyfriends, Clay always being quick to point out that I date dumbass punks. I was with Dante for four years, the guys got used to him, but that didn't mean they liked him. They stopped being total assholes to him after our first two years together, figuring he'd stick around. Gemma and Jax were the only ones who never hid their disdain for him in all the time we were together. Jax especially.

In Dante's defense, he had been a good sport about it. He got that they were my family and I was the only girl of that generation, which came with an overdose of protective attitudes. He was never best friends with anyone, but at least didn't feel weird coming home with me for an occasional visit.

We weren't together anymore though, and that meant a whole new ballgame for Tig here and a whole new headache for me.

Happy sat in the backseat, loading both his and Tig's guns, talking only to Tig, That was fine with me though, it made the trip that much more bearable. I couldn't believe that Tig couldn't just take Koz, I liked him. Honestly, he was like a more rational version of Tig, and possibly a less sadistic one, yet the two couldn't be in the same room with each other for prolonged periods of time.

I got off the highway exit to Fresno, biting my lip in anticipation. I really didn't have a good feeling about going there with these two in a place where the Sons didn't hold any sort of rule and those that did were sadistic dickheads that were corrupt to the point of disgust.

When we got on the main road that would take us to the old farm grounds right outside of Fresno, I turned into one of the side streets, pulling over in front of some apartment complex and shifting the gears into park.

Tig stopped his conversation with Happy and looked over at me. "What's up Dollface?" I reached over and turned down the music.

"We're almost there," I began, turning in my seat to look at both him and Happy. Even if I wasn't fond of him, I didn't want him to get hurt either. "Just... look be careful alright? I won't need babysitting, I already made a name for myself and they know who I am, but the racing world is a very different world than the MC world, yet the people are probably even more pigheaded and corrupt, though there are more punks. I don't go there for the company as much as for the cash and the experience, and there is a very good reason for that. It's going to be a battle of who's got the biggest dick and the fattest wallet, and the hottest ride. Groupies and crews are on every corner, and they follow the Blacktop Kings no matter what. If you're not known by name, you're the bottom of the barral and they'll sell you out quickly. You two have no rank there, and neither of you are used to that..."

I bit my lip again, looking between Tig and Happy before sighing quietly, my shoulders heaving in a slump, the cool chains from my tickling my bare back. "I don't want anything happening to you guys," I said glancing at Happy briefly before focusing my stare on Tig. "So watch your backs extra carefully tonight. Please."

"Aw, I knew you cared Dollface. Don't worry," Tig had a huge smirk on his face and placed his hand on my thigh, of course on the exposed skin. "Me and Hap will be fine. You just concentrate on burning some rubber for some cash."

The look on my face was a cross between bored and knowing, glancing from the callused hand on my thigh to Tig, who looked out the window casually as ever while smoking his cigarette. "Very reassuring. You know your hand is still on my thigh right?"

"Yep."

He kept his hand right where it was, showing no indication that he planned on moving it. "You know you could move it, if it's not too much trouble."

That damn Cheshire cat smirk was on his face, though he still didn't look over at me. "No trouble at all Dollface." His hand began to move up and down my thigh.

"Tig!"

Happy laughed under his breath in the back when I shoved Tig's hand off my leg, not able to contain my own giggle. "This is the last time I'm wearing a skirt around you if you're going to keep molesting me," I said, smile on my face as I pulled out of the parking spot to get back on the road.

"You're right, it ain't fair of me. I think it's only right if you feel me up right back." Oh Christ. If I didn't love him so much, I'd have throttled him by now.

"You're incorrigible." I glanced over at him, unable to hide the little smirk my lips twisted in.

Okay, so I felt a little bit better, but I was still uneasy about the whole thing. Passing through the Fresno, we were getting closer and closer to the meeting grounds. When we got out of city limits, I reached under the seat and hit the switch, turning on the red lights that were a mandatory installation for any racer. The area was heavily guarded, and if they saw me drive in without the little colored light next to my headlights, that would be really, really bad. There was a system in the street racing world, and because of that was why it survived for so long without the FEDs busting it.

I knew we were clear when I saw guys run out in front of me and take away the road block barriars. The road was dark as we drove, both Tig and Happy staring out the windows in silence on their guards. I kept my eyes out, watching the sides of the dark road in hope that they'd catch the signal. It wasn't until a bright light blinked through the orchid on the side of the road did I relax. I felt the familiar rush spike in my system, the smell of burnt rubber wafted through the car as I made a turn on a wide smooth dirt road.

Faint sounds of music blasting got louder and louder, sounds of shouts and engines joined the symphony of noise that contrasted the quiet road we just left. When I turned on the dirt road and on to the private air field, the familiar sight made me smile. A huge throng of people, cars parked everywhere, a DJ blasting music on an elevated stage, and of course girls that wore pieces of strings and cloth they tried to pass for clothes dancing on top of some of the vans and cars.

There was a mix of imports and muscle all over the grounds, people dancing and talking, and then further out was the start of the dig. Crowds cheered and gathered at the start of the airstrips while three cars lined up to hit the stage, or rather the strip, for a race. The starting line was a makeshift affair: orange cones stolen from road projects, battery-powered lights and stands cobbled together from scrap lumber that creaked alarmingly from the pulsating noise. Opposite of the starting line, was what we called the motor show. Trick drivers had there cars dance in an incredible pattern that drove the crowd nuts and the drivers received payment in the form of drugs and girls.

This place right here; lewd, gritty, and dangerous as it may be, was my thrill. The street racing scene had that combination of danger, satisfaction, and exhilaration that gave me a feeling like nothing else ever had. Could you just imagine being able to walk into a place full of strangers and have their total and solid respect? I earned every bit of that respect and every bit of the reputation that I had within the rings. I worked my way through all systems, and I did it all without working under any Head.

In the world of illegal street racing, there was a very clear and very strict hierarchy among the drivers. The two top ranks were the Pins and the Heads. The Pins were royalty, the one that ran everything in a particular area and usually came into the scene through money and connections. They were the ones that decide who is allowed to attend and they supply the meets, the guys with the money and respect. Then you got your Heads, they answered to the Pins, and ran their own crews. Heads were veteren racers with money, a whole lot of them were on the blacktop since back in the 50s. All the Heads had to provide their crew members with cars, and split the money with them. After them you got the racers; Tops, Slicks, and Rooks. I was a Top, one of the drivers that are either independent or under a Head and have won at least twenty races against other Tops. The Slicks are those that had won at least fifteen races in general and Rooks of course, are the starting drivers that can only get in the circle if they got a car that passed a Pin's inspection and were recommended by someone with a good reputation.

The rest were mechanics and groupies, none of which got a say in anything. Groupie skanks in barely there clothing were so common to be at this point that I totally bypassed them. They were there for unlimited fun and in turn got protection from whatever crew they belonged to.

The caste system of illegal street racing was strict, and there was a code of ethics that came with each rank. It took me two reckless and dedicated years to become a Top, and because I was independent, I got more respect from the Pins than those that worked under Heads. I had free movement within the circles, and had good relationships with enough Pins that I got some sweet deals on car parts.

Despite all the corruption, all the violence, and all the danger, I loved everything about it. It was something completely mine, something that was incredibly hard to earn while getting a college degree and being completely financially independent. I didn't get my reputation because of my family or my background, it was something entirely mine. That feeling of walking around the Pit was like nothing that I had ever imagined. The power with crowds parting for you without knowing you by anything other than your name and reputation made me feel proud every time. I was still young, and my need to escape through reckless driving came with a reward that no one could take away from me.

The first person that I saw coming up to the car was Greyson Harris, one of the Fresno's Pins. I blatantly looked him up and down, biting my lip with a pleased smirk on my face, knowing he loved the attention. Then again when you looked at him, how could you not look him over. Greyson might have been in his mid forties, but he could pass for mid thirties. He was a former boxer and champion fighter and to this day the muscles on his burly stocky frame bulged with definition. Strong jawline and thick neck, light stormy blue eyes that shamed mine as to how much they stood out, and short dark cropped hair was enough to make any girl's pupils dilate.

The light Australian accent definitely didn't hurt either.

"Well I'll be stuffed," his voice was enough to make my grin widen even more when he opened the door for me. "I can't believe it, last time I saw you, you were still driving that Hemi' Cuda. now a Firebird! And a Sleeper, very nice!" I took his hand and allowed him to help me out of the car. "Yea well, if I wanted to come all the way back here just to impress your gorgeous self, I needed one."

Greyson grinned and pulled me forward with one arm. "Gimme some sugar darlin'," he said with a grin as he presented his cheek for me to kiss. Greyson was probably one of my favorite Pins in California, though I was probably being bias since he's the one that gave me that start in street racing. It was hard to look past some of the unsettling parts of him, like how he ranked as high as some of the drugs and Black Market Kingpins, with prostitution and Lord knows what else to his name, but he always looked out for me and saw to it that I was safe so I couldn't complain. "I uh, brought some friends along," I said, one arm wrapped around his waist while we both looked at Tig and Happy getting out of the car. Tig's eyes practically lit up when he saw the girls dancing in the scraps of material they tried to pass as clothing.

"I see that. Trager, it's been awhile." Greyson pulled away from me and went over to shake Tig's hand. Greyson used Teller-Morrow Auto for all his personal repairs, or some of the messy jobs others mechanics wouldn't touch. Tig and him have known each other for a number of years, hell that was how I met him. When Clay let me work with the mechanics at the garage to give me something to do so I wouldn't completely lose myself in depression after my brother left to enlist in the service, Greyson said I had some talent with the power engines, and the fact that I figured out how to connect an NOS system without much guidance. What could I say, I always liked puzzles.

"Harris. Deciding to tag along and make sure that one over there stays outta trouble and doesn't come home with broken ribs again," Tig said smirking at me as I scowled. I had a knack for driving, but I wasn't always as good as I was now. There had been a fair couple of times that Greyson drove me home or to the hospital as a result of some nasty accidents from me getting too cocky, which suffice to say did not make Tig or any of the other guys happy in the least. Gemma threatened me to stay out of racing when I got to college, but I couldn't stay away. I was addicted to the rush.

"Good luck with that, she's insane when controlling metal muscle," Greyson looked back at me with a wink, which instantly softened my scowl. I had a role to play there, after all, and I needed to keep in that character. My scowl morphed into cute little smile, my head shaking in amusement.

"That's why I brought back up. This is Happy." Tig nodded his head at Happy, who was surveying his surroundings with careful precision and caution in a similar fashion to the one I had adopted since coming to the Pit.

The crowd of people was insanely huge, which told me that Fresno P.D. was completely under Harris's thumb by then. The air was thick with the scent of burnt rubber, motor oil, and gasoline and the ground shook from the power of the engines and the hip-hop music blasting from the speakers. My eyes scanned the crowd carefully, recognizing some faces from other races. I inwardly cringed when I recognized a couple of members from Dante's crew. So much for that vain hope of avoiding him.

"Anna, Tops are parked around on the other end of the starting line. You know how it goes love," Greyson said winking at me. "Your bodyguards can meet ya there." I gave myself some serious pride on not scowling then, just rolling my eyes and flashing them my signature smirk. "Don't keep me waiting too long, I am after all, only a feeble meek female," I said in a sweet bubbly tone, mocking them in a playful way. Tig narrowed his eyes and gave me a look, which only made me laugh as I pulled out.

The exquisite rush that accompanied the atmosphere was settling in, the ease and confidence in my driving. The cool smile stayed on my face as I watched the crowds part without hesitation. The sense of accomplishment was something I only attained on the scene, and it would be a damnable lie if I said I didn't love it.

I parked in the designated area for independent drivers, looking at the other cars to peer at the cars I recognized. So far, I was not overly ecstatic about who I knew was there. I had never been big on people, as too many of them had an ulterior motive and were about as honest as stolen car parts. Outside of my family, there had been only few that I trusted and considered friends. One of the ones I trusted the most had difficulty with the concept of monogamy and honesty. I had no plans to make that mistake again.

Getting out of the car I automatically saw some familiar faces, most that I haven't seen in years. The last time I had been here seemed like ages ago, still a rook with my old beat up Camero and trying to put up a fearless and tough stuff air like any typical teenager. I couldn't believe it had been almost five years now since that point in time.

I was back though, and as far as I was concerned back for good. My stuff at the apartment back down by L.A. could be sold after I packed it up. It's not like I left behind anything particularly valuable anyways.

People started coming up to me quickly, making small talk and asking me about life. Over the engines from the races and the blasting music, I could barely concentrate on a single conversation. A couple of people I knew more by reputation than anything else came up to talk to me, and I had quickly gotten into a deep conversation with Rajani, one of the best mechanics Greyson kept on board. I haven't seen her in years, but the Indian beauty didn't change a bit.

Yea did I mention she's hyperventilating gorgeous? Beautiful mocha skin, a figure that would put Marilyn Monroe to shame, and thick ink black hair and large dark almond shaped eyes was all Raj. Needless to say, I felt like a prepubescent boy next to her.

"How much I gotta beg ya to let me look under that hood? She is a beaut, babycakes!" Her bangles danced together in a series of clinks as her hand ran over the side of my car in admiration.

I would be flat out lying if I said that it didn't boost my ego. I'm extremely proud of my Firebird, complimenting my baby was an instant ego boost.

"Yea, yea, here ya go." I walked around to the side and reached into the driver's side to pop up the hood. Rajani wasted no time.

"Damn girl, you came back really workin' it. Ya brought this gorgeous chrome, and now ya became a little hottie pottatie, a body that can knock a guy ten paces back and get 'im comin' back for more," Raj's heavy Brooklyn accent was accompanied with a wink and a smirk.

I rolled my eyes, scoffing slightly. Rajani made me look like a prepubescent boy with her insanely gorgeous features. With a perfect hourglass figure, long ink black hair, and large dark almond shaped eyes, she exuded estrogen.

While Raj was going on about the car and some of her latest projects, my attention focused on the scene around me. The lack of clothes that these girls wore was just gross. I had barely any respect for the groupies here, hell I had far more respect for the Croweaters and Sweetbutts back at the clubhouse. These girls wanted nothing more than the fame and status of sleeping around with the men, and I saw nothing grand about that.

My lovely moment of reminiscing was interrupted by a voice that I seriously could have lived without hearing ever again. "Of all people to show their faces around here, you're the last I expected. Not that I mind, it ain't a bad face."

Think of the sleaziest, bottom of the barrel, egotistical person you know. Now multiply that by 35 and add slick hair, oiled up gym cut muscles and about a 2 million inheritance, and you have Victor Tarrington.

"Can't say the same for you," I answered coolly leaning against my car. There is not enough paper in the world to make a list of how much I loathe this human being. He had no honor, lived off his parents money, freeloaded all day, had a thing for underage girls (whether they liked it or not), and never worked for a damn thing in his life. He was a brat, and I'm pretty positive an entitled sociopath. He lived by his own set of rules and money allowed him to never suffer the consequences. Victor was a walking example of the decline of manhood.

The problem with steroid induced morons like him was that his massive ego was rarely moved by insults, especially when his groupies surrounded him. "Still got that spunk don't ya? I always liked my girls feisty. And since you and Ritter spilt, ya got an opening."

"Hate to be the one to break it to ya, Vicky, but I'm not your type. I'm legal now." Victor's smirk faltered as mine widened. When his groupies snickered, I knew he would be pissed.

He stepped right up to me, an instant spike of uneasiness pierced my chest from the look on his face. "You seem to forget that breaking it off with Ritter means more than a loss of a constant dick to bounce on." Victor's voice was low but by no means quiet. "You got no more protection here Anna, and that makes you pure bait around here."

From over Victor's shoulder, I saw Tig staring at us from the center of the crowd, ignoring the ebony haired beauty on his side as he focused entirely on me.

This was not going to end well. And the evening barely started.

"Tavington. Leave. Now." Well this is an unexpected turn. Instead of seeing Tig or hell, even Grayson, there stood Dante, icy blue green blazing in a way that used to make me weak in knees.

Victor looked as surprised as I did, but I at least was able to hide it better. "Fuck off Ritter. This ain't your business anymore."

"And it was never yours. Pin or not, I got way more weight around here than you. Leave before I start throwin' it." The cool clear voice that always held command and power made sure the words weren't lost on Victor. It didn't take him long to back off.

Glaring at me, he spit on the ground by me. "Your luck is gonna run out real soon, and then it will just be you and me sweetheart." Oh God, what a cheeseball, how do you not roll your eyes to that?

I watched him walk off with his posse, finding it almost comical. "Well he had a point about one thing, I'm not exactly your business anymore am I?" I prided myself on keeping a cool and steady voice, though my heart was being pulled in so many directions I waws on the verge sick.

"It's gonna take a lot more than you breaking it off with me for me to believe that." Same old Dante. "Can I get you a drink?"

My eyebrow shot up, as well as my nerves, but God bless Gemma for teaching me to keep my cool. "Really Dante? I thought we had our last words to each other what, six months ago?"

His handsome features creased in a softer look he used to only reserve for me. "Come on Anya, just ten minutes. Hell, you're enough of a romantic to know we deserve a better end than what we had." Damn how did I forget how handsome he was? Combine James Dean and Heath Ledger and add an eyebrow ring and several hundred dollars worth of tattoos and you got Dante. He had an edgy look that still retained the handsome elegance of old movie stars, which is what I fell for in the first place.

Oh man, I knew I'd regret this. "Ten minutes. And I'll take a Corona."

I saw Rajani giving me a major glare over the now closed hood of my car. I had to smile. "I'll be fine Raj, I'll be right back. Really." She probably was convinced I would be back with him the second I was alone with him. I didn't blame her for thinking that, but I couldn't do that to myself again.

Dante's hand moved to the small of my back, leading me away to the side of the crowd by the bar area. And of course I was treated to the lovely sight of Happy with some blonde chick all over him. Typical. Oh geez he was staring at me, and all I could do was silently pray nothing would start.

While Dante ordered drinks, I took a minute to compose myself. I was not even sure what I was preparing myself for to be honest. I had dreaded facing him again, forced to face that heartbreak he caused me when he stumbled in our apartment smelling like weed and pussy.

"Thank you," I said coolly when he handed me a full cold mug. I downed half of it in two gulps. I didn't start, I had no idea what to say to this guy, my first love who really wrecked my heart. I never wanted to see him again, yet here he was staring at me intently while he sipped his usual straight vodka on the rocks.

"You know, I almost forgot how damn beautiful you always were. Almost." He took a swig of his drink and set it on the counter. Despite the noise and the giant crowd, I felt unsafe. Probably more from myself then him.

"I never wanted to see you again, you know that right? I wasn't lying when I screamed that at you after throwing everything I could get my hands on at you." The beer swirled in my mug in gentle pattern.

Dante shrugged, taking his eyes off of me to stare out at the crowd. "Can't say I blamed ya. Still don't. I'll be honest though, I didn't think you'd be so quick to pack your shit and leave. You showed me though, shoulda known better than to put you in a neat box in my mind like that."

I didn't want to hear any of this. My stomach flipped so much I was starting to feel sick. My mug was feeling lighter by the second with all the drinks I took. I was not as ready for this as I thought. "Say what you have to say, cause I don't know how much more I can take being near you." Good, my voice never wavered once.

Dante fisted a hand through his thick, dark hair, a habit he had whenever he was nervous. "I fucked up. Big time. And I ain't asking for another chance, not expecting it anyways."

Well he had one thing right.

"There are some things you need to know though. That's kinda why I pulled ya here to begin with." He took a deep breath and looked at me intently. Damn those eyes. "I loved you more than I ever told ya, and I hate myself cause I had to lose you to realize it. But it had to happen, cause now I get it. Shit, I still think about what life would be like had I never got pissed off about petty shit, never started messing around. Well, I woulda been a hell of a lot happier than I am now." His words were drenched in sincerity laced with bitterness, as was the reflection in the pool of those damn icy eyes as he laughed slightly under his breath.

"Yea I know, you're wondering why I'm even telling you this. I know you Anna, and I know how that whole thing woulda gotten to your self esteem, even if hell would freeze over before ya let anyone know. You weren't the reason I cheated, me being a dumbass when we talked about our future was what caused it."

Oh crap, no. This was not what I wanted to hear, not again. I hadn't told Gemma about this, I tried to block it out myself, and here it comes rushing back. I found myself swallowing hard. "Dante, stop I don't want to-"

"Well I do. Look I freaked out cause the last thing I ever thought about was the idea that you did actually want to settle down and have a family. Like a dumbass I thought it was all that family shit that the club always talked about with you, and that's why you wanted it. It ain't though, and I get that now, and honestly I don't mind the idea of that now, but I handled it all like a punk ass." I didn't look at him, the hurt was still there from that whole episode that led to our bitter breakup.

Dante moved as if he was going to grab my hand, but seem to have thought better of it. "I just want you to know I'm sorry. I know I lost something really good, but you need to know that it ain't cause of you. You deserve that family you want, and hopefully with someone that ain't as much of a jackass as I was."

My mind was whirling, being that this had been the last thing I expected to hear. Dante had been my best friend, he knew me so intensely well and it was nice to know that the care we developed in the friendship we had within the relationship was still very much present.

As much as the guys and Gemma really didn't like him, he was a genuinely good person. I wouldn't have been with him for so long if he wasn't. And despite it all, we did have a solid friendship, and I remembered just how solid from his little speech.

And… well it would be a lie if I said that it didn't get to me a bit. I made to scratch my nose, subtly wiping a tear. "I did need to hear that. Thanks."

My heart was still racing like crazy, and I had one of those word vomit moments where you really really say things way without thinking or censorship. "I wasn't even asking for a family now though, or to get married or any of that. The only reason I asked you was because of that pregnancy scare, and I needed to know I could depend on you. Ha, guess I got my answer for that huh?"

Once I started I just couldn't stop either. "What really irks me is that instead of talking it out with me, no matter how hard I tried, you totally shut me out. You started coming home later, would spend all your time in the garage, and flat out acted like I didn't exist half the time. Do you know how much that hurt? You were my best friend before you were my boyfriend, and that was just plain shitty of you."

I took another sip, letting out a deep sigh. "It doesn't matter anymore though, it happened. I cried all I could about it. I think I was more mad about the fact that I wasted as many tears as I did. I don't have any ill will toward you, but I can't and won't give you the time you didn't give me those last few months. Cause you didn't just end our relationship, you threw away our friendship too. If it was fated for me to see you tonight to at least get that out of my system, then so be it.

Dante nodded, peering at me carefully. "Guess it wouldn't be smart to suggest we try for friends would it?"

"Not smart at all." I drained my mug.

"It's gonna suck for me, but I won't take anymore from you than I did. 'Sides, I have a feeling if I start hanging around, I'm gonna get some broken ribs and two black eyes." I glanced at him with a slight smirk, nodding my head. "A-Yup." At least that, if Tig decides to carry out his threat, and he's not one to bluff.

Dante tipped his head back to drain the vodka, the tattoo sleeve of Michelangelo's 'La Primavera' reflected against the combination of moonlight and florescent light. "Thanks for everything Anna, I mean that. You deserve the family you want, and someone who could give it to you," he said while throwing me a side smirk. "See you around the blacktop yea?"

A small smile was on my face, at the eye of my internal storm as I watched him walk off into the crowd. It felt a bit odd, like that cliché feeling of a chapter in my life closing. It was never smart to be friends with an ex, especially if you were together for a long time and had some serious feelings involved. It was always Dante's policy too. He was smooth and cocky, but very much in tune with reality in such a point blank case that it frustrated even me sometimes.

Did I feel better after all that? Kind of, but not really better. My guess was that it didn't really hit me yet. Dante brought up some really personal stuff, especially the argument we had when I asked him about where our relationship was headed. The fight that erupted from that was the worst we ever had, and I cried myself to sleep that night. Did I mention I hate crying? Well I do, and crying myself to sleep is always torture but especially about a topic that I did hold near and dear to my heart. I wasn't surprised that he came to that he felt like that, just surprised that he really didn't waste any time telling me. I did need to hear it, though I wasn't ready to fully digest all of it.

So much for a relaxing, carefree night on the blacktop.

Heaving a big sigh, I placed my glass on the counter and turned my head just in time to catch a pair of intensely dark watchful eyes from across the bar. I shivered from Happy's cutting stare, chastising myself as to why I let it have such an effect on me.

When he didn't look away, I broke the stare and got up to lose myself in the crowd.

Now I really needed to race, cause this was too much for me to handle at once.

**IIIIIIIIIIII**

One hour and several forced attempts or not thinking about Dante or Happy, it looked like I finally had a challenger. I was sitting on the trunk of Raj's car, in the process of challenging a cocky Rook for some easy cash. Flirting at it's charms, though it wasn't as successful with Tig right next to me. He came over to grill me about whether or not Dante stepped over the line, no doubt hearing a report from Hap, and that interrogation ended with him goading a hotshot Rook for a race with me.

"How are you, sitting here with you fancy car, gonna tell me you ain't up for racing a chick? Women are awful drivers, everyone knows that. And you're still scared? Shit, that just pathetic," Tig lit up a cigarette to hide the large smirk that made it's way across his face. He couldn't resist pushing buttons, and he sure as hell knew how to do it.

"Yo, shut the fuck up, she's a Top for a reason, I ain't stupid. You been causing shit with people all night, I ain't gonna be one of 'em." The kid, Rob I think was his name, was seriously getting frustrated.

Oh man, I really hope Tig didn't cause too much shit tonight.

"Hey if you can't take the heat, you're hangin' in the wrong place man. Right now, I'm just tryin' to understand why a guy is too much of a pussy to race a broad. Weren't you one of the shitheads that was talkin' up a storm of how you were gonna step up to one of the high riders? Well ou got a high rider, its a chick, and you got a way more powerful car than hers. I mean look at it, it's an old ass car. You lose your balls between the bar and here?" Okay I know that he was only trying to rile the kid up, but that bit about my car stung just a TINY bit.

I decided to step in then. "Come on Sugar, I just want the chance to say I raced a Nissan GTR. It's the newest model isn't it?" I knew just the right pitch and tone to use to make my voice as alluring as possible. Rob's eyes flicked at me with interest, looking at me up and down.

"How much are we talkin' here?"

I tapped my lip, pretending to think for a minute. "Well... I only have a grand with me... and I am an all or nothing kind of girl. What do you say Darlin'?"

Rob scoffed. "Make it 800 and we got a race."

Tig and I exchanged a glance. After he gave a small nod, I looked back at Rob with a smile. "Deal."

After we shook hands, Rob walked to his car and I let out a laugh. "I can't believe you just randomly pulled a kid aside and managed that. You're too much Tig."

He just smirked and swatted my butt. "Just go win us some money. I'll be taking bets in the crowd and making my own money. See how many more people I can hustle."

"Hey!" That was a hard swat, but I had to smile. This was what I was waiting for, and Tig made it happen. Who am I to argue how it came about?

Ah this was my place: engine roaring in my ears at an almost deafening level, the entire body shaking around me in a state of exstacy, ready to burst on the blacktop. We were at the starting line of the rounded airstrip, the one that took you in a full circle. The GTR next to me was quieter, but Rob was really showing off that engine. I wasn't worried, this was my church right here, just me, God and the blacktop.

I handed my money to the starter when he came up, feeling totally relaxed. I was melding with the car, letting myself become part of it. I had already lfted the front seat of the car to expose my NOS tank, and according to Raj I was all set.

My hand gripped the wheel with a firm gentleness, as the other held the gear stick. Rob kept making kissing faces at me, but I just smirked at him and kept my eyes as a scantly clad girl walked in impossibly high heels walked ahead in the area between the two cars. The race was one lap, but it was one hell of a fast and hard lap.

All I could say was: Bring it.

Her hands raised in the air, and both cars engines revved loudly. I watched in calm anticipation, and the second her arm went down my car shot forward.

Ah, this was my heaven, my ecstasy. My body moved so naturally with car, and my car seemed to meld to the curve of the strip. I went from 0 to 120 in less thatn 3 seconds, with increasing speed as I concentrated on the road in front of me. The GTR, brightly lit exhaust from the NOS shot in front of me before we were even at the curve of the strip.

"Too early Sugar." I turned the car in a tight circle to mak the spin and reached for the NOS. The second I pushed it, the speed went from 200mph to almost 300mph. My back arched pleasurably at the impact of the speed on the car as I surged past Rob and past the finish line, staying on the strip to stay in the speed and safely slow down.

"Oh yea, this is what it's about." The NOS rode out and I slowed my car to turn back to the finish line. It was easy money, but hey I wasn't looking to prove myself, I did that already. Now it was about racing for cash, and more than that racing for cash to help Abel. I would take whatever I could get.

When I got out of the car, I was met with a really smug Tig and a cheering crowd, that only got louder when I got handed $1600. "Told ya I got better," I winked at Tig, who only threw his head back laughing. "You sure did Dollface. I made a sweet load on bets. You got no idea how easy it was to convince people that your car was really messed up and you were definitely gonna lose. This place is great!"

Great, Tig's chosen a career path as a hustler in addition to the other stuff. "You have fun, I'm gonna refuel the car."

Leaving Tig alone right then was probably the stupidest thing I could have done. I guess I was still on too big of a high from going 300mph to be able to realize that after hustling God knew how many people, they wouldn't be really happy with him.

When I drove the car back from getting gas, a huge crowd formed, shouting jeers and insults so loud that the music couldn't even drown them out. A bad feel sunk in my stomach, and I mean a really bad feeling. I put the car in Park and got out to sit on the window ledge to try and see what was happening.

Oh shit, a bunch of guys jumped Tig, and Victor Tavington was among them.

"Shit! Shit Shit!" I jumped out the car and ran right into the crowd. It was a struggle to try and get through all the people, especially with such a packed crowd. "Move, MOVE!" I yelled squeezing past as many people as I could. A gunshot rang out and my blood ran cold. No, it couldn't be.

"Hold him still. I'mma teach this asshole what happens to punk ass hustlers around here!" That was Tavington's voice. I stood on my tip-toes trying to see through the crowd. I saw Victor lowering the gun to the ground, trying to find a place to focus it. "NO!" I pushed through the crowd with a renewed vigor.

A familiar hard raspy voice was like heaven to my ears right then. "Drop it. Now!" Happy. I got to the front of the crowd and let out a sigh of relief when I saw him with his gun pressed into Tavington's temple, looking more menacing than I am used to seeing him.

I looked at Tig on the ground, being restrained by several guys and struggling still to get out of their hold. Pussies, they couldn't even take him down like men.

"If I were ye mate, I'd be the one dropping the gun," Greyson had come up behind happy with the blade of his huge buck knife pressed tightly to the back of Happy's head. "That's one of mine that ye got a gun to, and I won't have you threatenin' 'em on my turf."

My hand crept to the side of my skirt, feeling the outline of the Beretta that I always kept on me, tucked into the hem. Gemma taught me how to conceal guns under my skirt when I was seventeen. As a woman, I needed to learn how to carry protection on me as discreet and undetected as possible. A Beretta was the perfect size, and it was a powerful little gun.

Look at Tig and then the knife pressed against Happy's throat, I didn't hesitate. "Let them go Greyson." I aimed the gun right at his head, ignoring the gasps and mutterings from the crowd.

"Anna? Are you outta your bloody mind? Do you know what yer doing right now?" Greyson was evidently shocked, and I didn't blame him.

"I know perfectly well what I'm doing. I'm defending my family. Your boys are sore losers that believe any information anyone feeds them, and that's their problem. Now drop the knife and tell your boys to back off." I cocked the gun. "Now."

Greyson hesitated for a moment before lowering his knife from Happy's neck. "You stupid bitch. Boys, step off. Go on!" The guys let go of Tig immediately, who scrambled to his feet right away, and Tavington lowered his gun. Happy kept his gun up though, but I put mine down.

I just signed my own exile.

Greyson stared at me with anger and sadness. I knew he had a soft spot for me, but there had to be consequences for threatening a Pin in front of the whole Fresno racing scene. "I'm puttin' the word out in the circuit what you did tonight. Consider yourself in exile. You ain't welcome in this circuit, or any other racing circuit on the West Coast. We catch you racing for money and the only thing that your gonna be racing is bullets. You understand that?"

"Yes." My voice was steady but it felt like someone just tore an organ from my body.

"Get outta here." Greyson turned and disappeared into the crowd, a mix of shocked and smug faces. Tavington spat at my feet, and I heard Happy cock his gun.

I swallowed hard and shut my eyes for a brief moment, composing myself before I started walking to my car. I felt bile rise to my throat, but I kept it down. The guys got in the car with me without a word.

Right Now, I just needed to get outta there and get out now.

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

"You okay Dollface?" Tig's voice was the first to break the twenty minute ride of silence.

I made myself focus on the road. "I'll be fine. They had no right treating you as they did. Sore losers." I hoped it was enough not to steer the conversation to me losing everything I worked for in the racing world. I needed to think.

"Heh yea they were. I made a good amount from them though. Hey Hap, look at this stash..." Tig and Happy started talking to each other, giving me the time I needed to think.

My reputation, my status, everything I had worked my ass off to earn since I was sixteen was gone. I knew it would happen the second I pulled my gun, and I didn't regret it at all.

It was a strange feeling that settled over me, and I wasn't sure what it meant. It felt... right. Painful realization, but it was right. I knew I made the right choice, and by doing so I severed a huge chunk of my life, of my identity even.

What did I have left without the status of the racing circuit? I wasn't anyone special anymore, or at least I didn't feel it. Oh God, I'm turning this into a pity party.

You know what? I deserved one. First having to deal with Dante, and MAN did that hurt, and now this? I honestly didn't know what hurt worse. Dante brought some heavy topics into that conversation, including one that cut right through my heart. I wanted so badly to have a life with him, start a family and raise them to be as loving as the family I had, and he threw that in my face. Tonight he reminded me of that.

It was just too damn much.

I sharply pulled into a gas station that was located right in the middle of the highway. "Gimme a minute," I said hurriedly, not giving them a chance to respond as I jumped out of the car and ran inside the little gas station store.

"Excuse sir? May I use your bathroom?" The attendant looked at me with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry our bathrooms are out of order right now."

Crap. "Look sir I just need to wash my face. Is there anything I can do?" I was desperate for some alone time, and I honestly felt like any minute I was going to throw up.

"Oh well there is a water spigot out in back. It doesn't have a hose attached, but it has decent water pressure."

I was practically out the door in a second, shouting a thank you as I ran to the back of the store. Before I even got to the spigot, I ran right for the garbage can and emptied out the contents of my stomach. I was so stressed that it just become too much for me and it had a physical effect.

I must have heaved everything I ate that day, cause about five minutes have passed until I was done. Feeling weak, I practically threw myself next to the spigot, desperately turning the knob to start the water. Ice cold water spouted out, and I put my whole face under running water. It shocked my body out of that stupor as I washed my face and rinsed out my mouth. I used my hands to rub the rest of my makeup off, splashing my face until my fingers were numb from the water.

The water continued to run as I scooted to lean against the wall, the front of my hair clinging to my wet face as the cool night breeze brushed against it. Deep, long breaths was all I was concentrating on at the moment.

I couldn't tell you for how long I sat there, eyes shut and just taking deep breaths. After some time, I felt someone sit next to me, though not close to me. The familiar scent of tobacco, bourbon, and aftershave that hit me soon after instantly told me who it was without opening my eyes.

And for the love of everything, I had no idea what compelled me to talk, but talk I did. "Since I was sixteen I had been building myself up in that circuit. I did it all by myself, with no outside help. I gave sweat, blood, and heart into the racing world, and now all ties I had with it are severed," I started quietly. "And you know what? It feels right. It feels like something painfully right just happened, and I don't know how that's possible. But as odd as it is, I don't mind. I have no regrets. Is that strange? No don't answer that, it probably is."

I didn't say anything for a moment, pausing to take a breath. "I don't regret anything."

Neither me, nor Happy said anything. I just looked straight ahead as I watched him light a cigarette next to me, exhaling a large cloud of smoke. I was betting that Tig sent him here, cause there was no way he'd come looking for me willingly. At least we were being sort of civil to one another. And by civil I mean not at each other's throats. Right now I felt strangely... relaxed around Happy.

"You did good tonight kid," he said in his low raspy voice. Despite myself, I felt a small smile come on my face. I kept my mouth shut though.

I watched him get up and lean over to turn off the water spigot. "Tig's ready to go. We should head out."

"Okay." I didn't move to get up, but stared up at Happy intently. "Happy? I'm really sorry I ran over your bike."

He didn't say anything for a moment, just stared back at me, the moonlight in back of him made his silhouette look more menacing than ever, but I wasn't afraid.

"I know." Those two little words he said surprised and oddly delighted me all at once. Wait delighted? What is going on with me?

"Come on. You okay to drive?" He reached down and grabbed my arm to haul me to my feet, with more gentleness than I was expecting. Why is my arm tingling?"

I smiled and started walking toward the car. "You know what? I think I am."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_** Okay, I know you all expected a chapter sooner, and if I want to be completely honest I'll say that it was part revision and part annoyance that kept me from posting it sooner. There are some things that I need to make clear, based on some messages and reviews. We'll do it in bullet points so it's nice and organized and hopefully no one will be confused.**

**-First and foremost, I hate perfect characters the way that I hate seemingly perfect people. Anna is not perfect, in fact far from it. Yes, she's going to behave rashly, as what happens when you have that pesky temper, and she's going to mess up. Big time. She's going to say and do the wrong thing, and she will grow from her mistakes just as anyone does. If you are looking for a story with a main character that is young and already knows exactly how to act and what to do and what not to do, and looks and acts just as she should, then this isn't the story for you. I want a character rich with personality, where her imperfections are polished throughout the stories just as the rest of the characters grow. I want a character that will mess up, that will make life a little harder and easier at the same time for the Sons. So yes, I know she's acting too whatever at times and not acting enough whatever. That's what I like to call human like qualities. If this is a problem for you, than I'm sure there are other stories that will cater to your tastes, but this won't be one of them.**

**- Next point, I will not be rewriting this story. I have no reason to, and I happen to like the direction in which it is going and am a huge fan of the third season of Sons of Anarchy. If this does not meet your tastes, I apologize, but there is nothing I can do about that. I plan to continue this story to through the fourth season as well, but we are not quite there yet. I invite you to wait till then, but please no more messages about how the fourth season was so much better than the third. The fourth season was FANTASTIC, but it couldn't have happened without the third, and that's how I plan to write it through.**

**-Final point: I don't claim to be part of some huge biker gang or anything close. My guy is in a motorcycle club that I have no plans to disclose the name of, and I am going by the rules of the club that I am familiar with. I don't mind sharing tidbits of my personal life, especially when they are funny, but I have nothing to prove to anyone and there is no reason for me to disclose any private information just to prove to you I am not lying. You don't have to believe me, I promise you I won't be crying a river about it if you don't.**

**Now that all that stuff has been said, thank you so much for all your reviews and for sticking with the story. I have no intention of abandoning it and every intention of seeing it through however many seasons Kurt Sutter plans to hit us with. I promise I will start responding to reviews again by the next chapter.**

**Thanks everyone so much for reading, and be on the lookout for the next chapter, I'm already halfway through! Let me know what you thought of this one, I revised it like five times!**

**-Daria**


	12. Inside Out

"Lauren, will you pass me those pans? Might as well wash those too." My hands were covered in saop, trying to scrub the grime off the pans from breakfast. I woke up super early this morning to make breakfast with some of the croweaters. Despite the fact that I barely got five hours of sleep, I felt extremely refreshed. Hell, I was even dancing and humming to the radio in the kitchen as I made a gigantic breakfast. The girls seemed to catch on to my mood, cause all of us were all smiles all throughout breakfast and even then during the cleanup.

Our guys were not what you would call neat eaters either.

Lauren, who's been a resident here since I was seventeen, carefully placed two pans in the sink so they wouldn't splash all over the place. "Breakfast was amazing Anna, thanks so much. I seriously missed your cooking."

"Me too," Cassie, another croweater, piped up. "I missed your soups and your dinners. Especially that shrimp pasta with that white wine lemony garlic sauce stuff. Oh man PLEASE make that again sometime soon."

"Subtle Cass, real subtle," I said shaking my head, all smiles. My ego was swelling at the compliments from my cooking. Mom started teaching me to cook since I was a little girl, and I loved it. I pretty much had the family recipe book memorized, with some of my own creations and favorites added in at this point.

Well even without racing I still have my cooking. "If you guys go to the grocery store with me today after shopping, I'll make an equally big dinner. I don't know how you expect to live off take-out all the time and not get fat - Hey!" I laughed when Lauren swatted my butt with the dish towel. "I was just saying it's unhealthy! You're far from being fat, it's just a miracle, that's all."

"Well ya know, we do get _plenty _of exercise with our boys," Jen said from the doorway, bringing in a new set of dirty dishes. "This is pretty much the last of them. Happy is still finishing up, but the guys are at the table in about twenty minutes anyways."

I liked Jen, always had since high school, though it was still a bit weird that one of my friends from high school was a croweater. Frankly, she was better off. She came from a broken home, with a father who beat her and her mom up, among a bunch of other messed up things that happened in her house. To be honest, Jen was much better off living in the clubhouse and she couldn't be safer with SAMCRO.

"No rush, we have time before we have to leave," I said taking the new set of dishes and beginning to clean them.

Okay why are they staring at me?

I paused, the soapy water dripping into the sink. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

Jen shook her head, as if I missed something big time. "We just said Happy's name and it wasn't followed by an insult, or a sneer or, well anything unpleasant and you're shocked that you're getting weird looks? Either something happened or hell finally froze over."

I rolled my eyes. "Nothing happened. I just..." I sighed, scrubbing the dried cheese from the plate harder than necessary. "Really don't have a reason to be mad. I think it's time to get over shit that just isn't important."

Unsurprisingly, I got a bunch of looks after that, but I refused to say anything else. Last night was a huge turning point for me, and when I thought about it, everything happened so fast. I still was a little shocked that I actually turned a weapon on a Pin, and Greyson of all people. He gave me a start in racing, let me into the circuit.

In the end though, he wasn't my family.

"Juice said they were voting in prospects and new members today," Cassie changed the subject nonchalantly while she put away the dried dishes that Lauren handed to her. "Good for Phil and Miles, they're good guys. Phil is like a giant teddy that I wanna hug." Cassie flashed an exaggerated smile, though you can tell she was completely sincere. With her chin length trendy hair cut and natural charm, Cassie was a favorite among the guys. That and she was tiny, and I mean tiny. At most five feet tall with a petite frame, which always made her seem younger. Hell she looked my age and had at least seven years on me.

"Wow, 'Filthy Phil' is gonna be SAMCRO? He's like the sweetest guy alive. I don't think he has the stones to make it through the prospect period. And forget about Shepard, he's as green as they come." Lauren, the oldest out of the residents at the clubhouse, tended to be a bit critical of the prospects. Hell I remembered her saying that Half-Sack was too much of a goof.

I dried my hands on the red dishtowel after draining the sink. "Well, a year being SAMCRO's bitch should give 'em enough time to decide how badly they want it."

"Miles has the stones for it, and give poor Phil some credit, he's a loyal dude. I saw that 'teddy bear' give some guy a real mean look when they talked shit about the Sons last week," Jen protested, combing her fingers through her purple hair. When she got out of her parents house, I remembered that the first thing she did when she turned eighteen was dye her hair. Her light brown hair had been every color in the rainbow at this point, at the moment being purple with a couple of pink streaks. She was a little punk princess with her crazy hairstyles, piercings, and all the ink she was covered in.

I looked out the kitchen, smiling when I saw the guys heading into 'church'. "Looks like it's starting." The guys started piling in, Jax looking more pissed than usual. Something had been up with him even since breakfast, but I didn't really have a chance to ask him if anything was up. That guy really took on the burdens of the world on his shoulders. He was too much of a good guy to let anyone else carry it with him, which didn't make my prone to worrying much better.

"Uh oh. That doesn't look good," Jen said pointing at Tig and Kozik talking outside. I let out a huge sigh, hoping that it wouldn't end bloody. Tig walked away after a moment though, much to my, and probably everyone else's, relief. With a wink at me, he disappeared into the meeting room with Koz not far behind him.

"Money says that those two are gonna get in a fight," Cassie said, still swinging her legs on the counter.

Her only reply was a snort from Jen. "They ARE going to pound each other, it's just a matter of when. I'll take bets on the hour though."

I placed the towel back on the rack, shaking my head. "Have fun with that, I'm gonna go help Lauren clean up outside." Being that Lauren was a long time resident here, she knew the duties expected of her. Gemma pretty much schooled all the croweaters that lived at the clubhouse on what to do and how to act. It wasn't easy to be under a lady like my Godmother, but Lauren stuck it out and Gemma respected her for that. I always liked her, and she was just awesome. She had this down to earth, sweet girl next door thing about her with her pin straight blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. The guys liked her a lot, and she was a God-send in this place.

That's the thing about the croweaters that lived here, they worked behind the scenes a lot to the crap that happened to the guys. They kept the clubhouse in order, always made sure there was food, cleaned and took orders for any and all supplies needed in the clubhouse and yet most of them still worked separate jobs to help with the funds the club needed. All many of them needed was a safe place and protection from the guys, which I learned was the reason many of them came their in the first place. Jen for one, Lauren from another, who ran away from a very violent relationship. Though it had faded to a thin line from when she first set foot into the clubhouse, the scar from the end of her eyebrow to her ear was a constant reminder of the bad times in her life.

"So..." Lauren began, cleaning up the glass from the bottle someone threw. "What did happen last night? I saw Hap staring at you this morning and not looking like he wanted to throttle you, and you even brought him a plate of food earlier and he thanked you. So don't even try telling me nothing happened last night, so spill."

I paused in wiping down the spilled beer from the table the guys had occupied before. "Nothing really, I think we both just kinda got over it." I knew I that really oversimplified everything from last night, but I didn't want to talk about it. It was surreal in a weird way, and I was still digesting what happened.

"Right. If that's all it was we shoulda forced you two to go off somewhere years ago." Lauren probably realized that I wasn't going to say anything and just changed the subject.

"Looks like we got some new prospects." We both walked in just in time to see Miles, Phil, and Shepard walk into the meeting room. Lauren looked almost gleeful when she heard Jax yell at one of them to shut up. "This should be fun!"

Sometimes I felt like Lauren got some serious voyeuristic pleasure from seeing the hell the poor guys were about to go through for the sake of being a member.

...Okay fine, I thought it was funny too.

Instead of hanging out in the kitchen with the girls, I tossed the beer soaked rag into the sink and went behind the bar. I had most of the guys' favorite drinks memorized, Jax, Clay, Opie and Chibs preferred beer in the morning, though Chibs never touched light beer, taking a McSorely's or a Belhaven like the true Irishman. Piney loved his whiskey no matter what the hour, and Tig was a Vodka man. Juice didn't often drink in the morning, but I had a Miller's Light ready for him just in case.

When I was a kid, my mom would be the one unofficially in charge of the cooking and bartending for them, and I loved helping her. I was a total mommy's girl, and everything my mom did was gold, so of course I had wanted to help. What's funny was that their tastes barely changed over the years. If anything all I really had to do was memorize the preference of new members.

Man I missed my mom.

"Hey Chucky, thanks for sorting the bottles for recycling. None of the guys ever seem to remember, except Bobby," I said when Chucky walked back from the bins outside. Okay, I wasn't around when Chucky was around with his... issue, so I was a bit more comfortable with him than the other girls were. From what Jax told me, he had actually been a huge help to SAMCRO and extremely loyal. Tig had taken a liking to him as well, which was good enough for me. Plus when you get past the fact that he has only two fingers, he was kind of endearing. Like the SAMCRO mascot or something.

"No problem, I didn't mind. You girls cleaned up after breakfast, which saved me a lot of my usual work. Thanks!" He gave a big cheesy grin. "Oh hey, there's some more beers in the office, I'll bring you a couple of bottles."

That was one happy and dedicated little man.

Just as I was pouring Piney's scotch, the new prospects left the room. "So guys, ready for one of the toughest years of your life?" Okay, I knew I was being evil, but how could I resist?

"Oh come on, it can't be that bad. I saw the stuff Half-Sack had to do, it wasn't so bad," Shepard said shrugging it off. Oh man was he in for a rude awakening.

"Oh really? You know he was the one who had to clean the toilet after every party? And he fought for the Sons in the ring, did some crazy stuff. AND Half-Sack is former Marine. He was pretty hardcore, and it was tough on him. What makes you think it won't 'be that bad' for you? " I raised my eyebrows, continuing making the drinks for the guys. "Plus, if you mess up you become a personal punching bag, or who knows what else." Nonchalantly as ever, I let out a sigh of pity, ignoring the snort of laughter from Jen who had joined me with some bowls of peanuts and pretzels.

Jen chose then to get in on the scare. "Well hey, at least you guys get an awesome cut right? Just treat it well, and whatever you do, don't ever, and I mean ever let someone else wear it." She said it in such a grave tone, it felt like a life or death thing. I just did all I could to hide my snickers.

"Thanks for the uh... warning," Miles said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. I just grinned and got the guys drinks ready. "Can one of you guys grab the boxes from the front office? It's the new shipment of beer for when they come out." Shepard and Miles didn't hesitate to bring the boxes in, while Phil went to grab the ice.

It wasn't long before the guys started spilling out of the room, Tig coming out looking pretty damn pleased and giving Happy a hug. "Yeaaa!" He tugged on Happy's cut as the rest of the guys spilled out of the office. Looks like I was going to be seeing more of Happy than normal. Oddly enough I didn't really mind either. For the life of me I didn't know why I felt so good that he finally accepted my apology, but I did. Thinking about it brought caused me grin to widen just a tiny bit.

"Hey Dollface, get a drink for your favorite guy and the new member of SAMCRO! Haha yea. Hap, you havin' some of The Dirty Bird?" Tig said as he took a swig of his drink.

"Thank ye girls, ye know how to prepare for a celebration eh?" Chibs winked at us, taking a swig of his beer. That man's voice can seriously make you swoon.

"Anything for you handsome men," I winked back as I poured Happy a bourbon on the rocks. All the guys were patting him on the back, welcoming him into the club.

"You know this means you're gonna be seeing me even more than before right?" My eyebrows were raised with a smirk as I slid Happy his drink.

"Yea." He brought the glass to his lips. "I'll deal." I looked down, biting back a smile when I saw that he was still smirking. Okay, we weren't exactly best friends, but it was a start.

I picked up Tig's drink, sliding across the bar. "Here Tig- Whoa!"

The next thing I knew, Kozik punched Tig to the floor from behind, making my eyes widen and the guys fall into silence. Oh shit. This is not going to end well.

"You Son of a Bitch," Tig spat getting up. I knew that look on his face all too well, this was going to end with a lot of cuts and bruises.

"No fun gettin' sucker punched is it?" Kozik shot back. Not a second later, Tig lunged at him and a fight began. "Oh you gotta be kidding me." I grumbled under my breath as all the guys started cheering. Juice even started to move furniture out of the way, letting the two beat the crap out of each other.

Now Tig was no amateur fighter, but Koz was built like a truck. His arms were massive, and I knew he used to fight professionally. Tig was just relentless with a whole bag of nasty tricks, so it was a pretty even match in many ways.

"I'll get the first aid kit. I have a feeling we're gonna need it," I said to Jen, who was refilling drinks for the guys.

I was right too because by the time I got back a little over five minutes later after rummaging in the office for it, Happy and Opie were pulling the two off each other, both with bloody faces and knuckles, still trying to break through the hold that kept them back.

"Enough, both of you. Get yourselves cleaned up. And you three." Clay turned to the prospects, who were standing on the sidelines. "Clean this shit up. And it better be finished by lunch."

I held up the first aid kit, dangling it from the handle on my ring finger, smirking slightly when Tig looked over my way. "Come on Killah, I'll play nurse for ya,"I said with a smirk, beckoning him over with a finger. Tig shrugged Happy off of him, spitting at Koz's feet before making his way toward me. "Not here, in the kitchen."

I shrugged and followed him into the kitchen, brushing past Jen who was rushing to help Koz with some Peroxide and band aids in her hand.

"Feel better after all that?" I asked as I opened the kit and took out some peroxide. There was blood oozing from his lip and eyebrow, and I could tell he was going to have a nasty bruise on his face.

Tig's settled on the chair, tipping his head back to let me do my work. "That bitch ass shit is never gonna be apart of my club. Not as long as I got a vote. He just can't accept it that all, whaddaya expect from a shit like that?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed, gently cleaning the blood from his face. He didn't wince once, though I knew it must have stung him. That's Tig for you though, he's still tough as nails no matter how much he goofed around with me.

"Is your grudge with him that deep? Clay and Jax want him in SAMCRO, and Koz isn't that bad. Yea he can be a cocky jackass, but so can you, love." I pressed some peroxide on the cut on his eyebrow. "Hold that." When he held the gauze to his eyebrow, I started working on his lip, gently cleaning it.

"More than that Doll, trust me. He ain't a good guy. And I don't want you havin' much to do with him. Got that?" He gripped my hip possessively, squeezing it a little too tight.

"Yes Master, now let go, I need to clean your knuckles too. You two did a number on each other that's for sure." I pulled up a chair and sat across from him, carefully cleaning his knuckles, the wounds already started to get crusted with blood.

Tig just sat there giving me that half smile that I was pretty sure was he only used for Gemma, me and my mom when she was alive. "So whaddaya think nurse, am I gonna live?"

I rolled my eyes. "I think you'll pull through." I moved to get up, but he took my wrist and pushed me back down into my seat.

"Hey... you okay from last night? That wasn't easy stuff, and I know how much all that meant to ya," He said, stroking my hand gently. He really did look out for me, and I did appreciate it. He was someone I could always depend on, and in a lot of ways probably one of my best friends, which was odd with the age difference. It didn't bother him anymore than it bothered me.

"I'm okay. You guys were worth it, family always is right? I wasn't going to let you guys get hurt because you came out there to look out for me. I have no regrets." I smiled softly, squeezing his fingers lightly. "I was in shock for awhile, and still feel kind of... I don't know cut off? I guess that's the best way to describe it, but I really don't have any regrets. Last night at the gas station I was just in shock that's all. By the way, why did you send Happy back there?"

The smirk that grew on Tig's face made my eyebrows instantly raise. "Heh funny thing about that doll, I actually didn't. All I did was told him what I knew you'd probably be doing, and he got up with barely a word. I kept telling ya both for years, you're more alike in a lotta ways than either one of ya will admit. You two are square cause ya both probably got that on some level."

I arched an eyebrow at Tig, cause I was pretty sure Koz hit him a bit too hard in the head at this point. "I think the only thing that Happy and I have in common is that we both couldn't stand each other for a good number of years. Me and him are practically on opposite sides of the spectrum Tig."

"Nah, trust me you ain't. I know ya both, and I'm tellin' you that you guys are more alike than you realize. Take my word for it Dollface."

"Whatever ya say Tig. I gotta get going though, I'm going shopping with the girls, and then for groceries. You guys are getting a big dinner tonight." I winked at him and got up, throwing away the blood stained gauze and neatly putting the First Aid kit back in order. I looked down at my shirt, sighing when I saw the droplets of blood stains.

"I'll say this Anna, with you around we're gonna eat like kings again. Nice to see a woman who knows her place is in the kitchen." He smacked my butt and dodged the smack I wanted to give him.

"Ass!" I yelled after him, though I was also laughing.

"Yea, you got a real nice one too." He winked, leaving the kitchen still chuckling. He was the most frustrating and hilarious guy I ever met.

I checked the clock, seeing I had just enough time to get changed before I met Jen and Cassie in the parking lot. I had a list of items Gemma had asked me to get this morning when I called her to talk, and direct orders from her to go to the huge mall in Fresno and get some new clothing. I needed some, since I did have some old clothing that needed to be thrown out, so I didn't complain. Plus, I needed to update my look a little more, probably gradually make it more girly as I had been doing the last couple of years.

"Cass, I'm gonna go change, I'll meet you at the van," I called to Cassie while rushing to my room. All my clothes were already neatly packed away and I changed into a nicer pair of jeans and a plain purple tank top. I grabbed my purse and my leather jacket before running out the door.

Jen and Cassie were leaning against Cassie's silver Honda waiting patiently. "Sorry! I got blood on my shirt and had to change it quick."

Jen shrugged nonchalantly. "No biggie, had to change my pants for the same reason. Koz had some mean cuts on his face from Tig's rings. Now c'mon, times a wasting and we need to be back in time to pick Lauren up and buy groceries for dinner tonight."

I slid into the passenger seat and threw my purse in the back seat. "Yea, let's get this over with."

**IIIIIIIIIIIII**

After three hours at the mall, I could safely say I had enough. I had never been shopping with Cassie before, and I had to give her credit. For someone so tiny, she could carry more shopping bags than I ever imagined. She made us hit practically ever high end store in the mall, and I swear we spent at least an hour in the lingerie store alone.

Cassie and Jen loved that whole scene, corsets and garters and all that stuff. I knew how to use garters only cause my mother practically beat it into my head that pantyhose was just for a woman being lazy, but I just don't get the appeal of corsets as something to wear to seduce a guy. Those things take a good twenty minutes to take off, and that's if you're in a rush.

I on the other hand, was quite pleased with myself. I found a retro clothing store that carried gorgeous 1950s inspired clothing, and I got a little too happy with those waist high cigarette pants and off the shoulder tops. I loved that whole era as is, and the clothes were just so gorgeous and classy. I knew Gemma wouldn't give me crap about them, and quite frankly I liked the idea of dressing like a classy pinup. As long as my leather jacket matched it, I was content.

As for the girls, I liked spending time with them. Just because I had always stressed that I wasn't a croweater didn't mean that I had no respect for them. I may never agree to be in the position they chose, but for them it was smart. They had their own jobs and were pretty independent, hell Lauren even had her own place, but they all needed protection from one thing or another, so it made sense for them to hook up with the guys. They took care of the guys and vice versa. I liked them a hell of a lot better than the chicks that threw themselves at the guys just cause they thought it would be so bad ass and cool to be with a biker. Those girls I couldn't stand, and neither could most of the croweaters.

When we got back from grocery shopping, the guys were all out. The only ones in the clubhouse were the prospects, Chuckie, and a couple of the mechanics.

"Hey Phil, where is everyone- oh thanks!" I smiled when he took the bags from me. That guy really was like a giant teddy.

"They had business to take care of, told us to stay behind and watch the place." Phil took more than half the bags from the car, and with Miles and Shepard taking the rest, the girls and I didn't need to take anything.

"We should probably start on dinner once we put our stuff away. Looks like they had pizza for lunch again," Cassie said, wrinkling her nose at all the pizza boxes in the dumpster. She was a health food nut, and unsurprisingly a favorite with Bobby.

I grabbed my purse, swinging it over my shoulder and checking my cell phone for the time. "Okay, I'll get started on dessert first since that's going to take at least two hours before it's finished. I'll have Chucky help me, and you girls can get started on the pasta."

While walking inside, I listed off all the stuff that I would need them to do. I loved cooking, it was something my mom and I always did together and it always came naturally to me.

"Heya Chucky, wanna help me out? I need someone to stir and pour." I pumped soap on my hands, getting right down to business. My mom always said that a good meal always helps elevate stress, and Lord knows the guys had enough of it.

"Sure. What are we making?"

"Coconut Almond Cream Cake. The pasta I can whip up quick once the shrimps are peeled and the scallops are cleaned, but this dessert is going to need a good hour or two to cool."

Today honestly felt like a full day, between getting up to cook and clean in the morning, to shopping, to cooking all over again, and on top of all that I had to see Gemma later. She said she needed to talk to me about some things, and I would never turn down a chance to spend time with her anyways.

And I had a feeling that my day was going to be way more eventful than just that

"Oh wow it smells amazing in here! Damn, I like the new look Anna," Juice walked into the kitchen a little over an hour after I started baking, pausing to look me over for a moment. At that point, the girls managed to clean all the fish and Lauren was making a salad.

"Thank you- Hey, HEY!" I smacked Juice's hand away from the bowl of cream filling. "I need that. If you wanna stick around I'll let you lick the bowl. Oh you got your cut back!"

Poor Juice. He was so upset at being jumped, which in my opinion was just cowardly for a whole group to jump one guy to begin with, but to have his cut taken was just awful. My eyes drifted to the bruise on his fist when he scooped some cream on a spoon. Well, it looked like he got his revenge.

"Yea, heh, felt weird to be without it. What are you making for dinner?" Juice watched me spread the fluffy cream between the three layers of cake intently.

"My seafood pasta with that garlic lemon wine sauce. I had about five people request it," I laughed when Juice threw his head back with a happy groan. "Oh man, that's amazing. Got my cut back, and now that pasta and cake. Today's a pretty good day."

"Good, I'm glad love." I handed him a spoon to help me put the creams around the cake. "Where are the rest of the guys? Still on business?"

Juice shrugged slightly and put a generous helping of cream right on top of the cake. "Jax just got back from some errands, and get this, Clay put Kozik and Tig on a job. Together!"

"Oi. That should be fun. Assuming the two don't end up in another fight, you think I can start dinner once they get here? Everything is pretty much ready." I started sprinkling toasted coconut flakes and almonds around on the cream covered cake.

Juice licked the empty bowl of cream happily. "Not sure, you could ask Clay, he knows what's going down today better than me. Plus we still don't know how we're gonna deal with the whole skipping bail thing, so better he answers than me," he said while eating and watching my decorate the plate the cake was on with various fruit garnishes. "You know, worst comes to worse you can retire in racing and start a restaurant, cause that looks amazing."

I swallowed hard at that. "Yeah, ha I'll keep that in mind."

Miles walked into the room before the conversation had a chance to go further. "Hey Anna, Clay wants to see you. He's at the bar right now."

I nodded, picking up the finished cake. "Okay, let me just refrigerate this. Juice, when you're done put the bowl in the sink, I'll wash it." Being around the guys was starting to bring out my domesticated side more and more, and I loved it.

Walking to the bar, I was met with Clay, Jax, Chibs, Bobby and Happy sitting around the bar with some of the girls and the mechanics, just hanging out. "What's up Clay?"

Clay gave me that slight grin that I always thought made him look very handsome when he saw me, beckoning for me to have a seat next to him. "C'mere for a sec Angel, I wanna ask you some things."

I instantly sat down, looking between him and Jax intently. "You went out on the blacktop last night huh?" Clay started, taking a puff of his cigar.

Slowly, I nodded my head, not sure where this was going. "I did..."

"Tig said you came into some money last night." Clay set his cigar aside and leaned toward me, heaving a sigh. "You know we got a lotta expenses right now, trying to get Abel back and make enough to last in Belfast. I wouldn't normally ask ya for money-"

"Wait, no!" I interrupted quickly, getting up and heading for my purse. "Don't even ask, that money was for you guys. I went last night so I could make it for you!" I fished the envelope full of cash out of my bag, bringing it over to Clay and Jax. "It's not much, I didn't get a chance to have more than one race, but it's $1800. I can get you more if you need I have plenty in my savings."

Jax sighed and took the envelope, looking down at it for a moment. "I don't wanna take your money Anna, you earned it and it doesn't feel right."

I felt my whole exterior soften considerably. "Jax, don't. I love you guys and Abel more than anything. I can't offer much to help get him back, and money is the least I can do. What's the point of having it if it's only for me? And for that matter, I want you to help. Please." I put my hands over Jax's pushing the envelope slightly more to him.

Every word I said, I meant with all my heart. And I smiled when Jax pulled me in for a hug. "Thanks darlin'." He kissed my cheek and hugged me tight for a moment before letting go.

"You're a good girl Angel." Clay clapped my shoulder lightly, rubbing my back.

"Na, admit it, I'm a pain in the ass. This is just my way of making up for it," I said with a grin, winking at Clay.

"I'll drink to the pain in the ass part," Bobby said with a grin, raising his beer.

"Me too," Happy added, taking a sip of his beer as well. Even though I only saw his profile, I saw the slight upturn the corner of his lips took for a moment.

Nice to know he still had no problem making a dig at me.

I put my hands on my hips, raising my eyebrows at those two while some of the others snickered. "Hey, this pain-in-the-ass just spent the better part of the afternoon preparing you guys an awesome dinner. And I can still choose not to cook it. Oh speaking of which, when do you want me to get dinner started?" I looked at Clay for confirmation on this one.

"With us going underground with this bail hearing, ya might wanna make it to go. Aim for around 7. We got one more meet before then, and you're coming along for that one. Gemma told me to bring ya." Clay took another pull on his cigar, looking over his shoulder at the sound of a truck coming into the driveway, followed by a motorcycle. "Looks like Op is back with Tig and Koz."

The slam of a car door was followed by the sound of arguing and cursing. "Yep, that's definitely them. C'mon guys, let's go to the table."

Kozik and Tig stormed through the doors arguing, followed by Opie. "Shit like this is why I don't want your dumb blonde ass in SAMCRO," Tig snarled, walking right to the table.

"Hey, I wasn't the one that caused it," Koz snarled back. Poor Op looked annoyed and exasperated, closing the doors of the meeting room after he went in.

I walked over to the pool table, where some of the girls were playing pool with the mechanics. "Those two argue like a married couple," Lauren said as she bent over the table to take a shot.

I cringed when I heard the arguing through the closed doors. "I really hope the guys stop them from throwing each other out the window, cause that's going to be really bad."

"Like it isn't already?" Holly, another croweater quipped up while angling the pool table. "Things have been crazy around here. I doubt it's going to die down anytime soon. Though I won't lie, I'm happy Koz is around. He is a pretty pretty man." Holly sighed dreamily, flipping her long dark pin straight hair over her shoulder to get a better view of the ball.

Leaning against pool table, I looked over at the room as the yelling continued. I really hoped they would figure things out soon.

All at once, the sound of a bunch of cars pulling into the garage area caused all the girls and the mechanics to look over at the windows.

"Oh crap," Lauren said, putting down the pool cue.

"SAN JUAN SHERIFF, EVERYONE ON THE GROUND!" A bunch of cops in full gear burst into the room screaming the same time the guys got out of the meeting room.

Here we go again. This had been pretty much routine for me growing up here, enough that the croweaters and the mechanics were used to it.

As I was going on the floor, Tig made a beeline for me, putting his arm around me while we both laid on the floor practically under the pool table. "First raid in months and it's gotta be today of all days. Bring back memories huh Dollface?"

There was so much yelling that it was unreal. Tig was practically on top of me and I could barely hear him through all the noise. "Yea, just like old times. Did you guys know about this one?" I knew that Unser usually warned them about raids, giving us plenty of time to prepare for it. I wasn't used to surprise raids though, and it didn't look like any of the guys were expecting it.

"Na we didn't. Why do ya think I came right over to ya? Not sure what the hell is going on. Clay woulda told us about it," Tig moved so he could talk in my ear in a low voice. There was a cop with a gun pointed right at our area, and from the way that Tig was gripping my arm harder than usual, I could tell he was uneasy. "We don't got anything but out personal stock though, so we're good. This shit is just ridiculous now."

I watched the cops search through the cabinets and drawers, even patting down some of the guys. "Check the garages, and you guys check the upstairs! The head of the raid was giving orders left and right. "Check all the bathroom cabinets and all the containers. I want three guys doing the same in the kitchen."

I groaned into Tig's arm. "They better not ruin any of that food I prepared."

"Doubt the kitchen is the main priority. By the way Dollface, I'm really digging this look you got going. I told you yesterday that you had a classy look to ya, just like your mom." He winked at me when I turned my head toward him.

"And here I thought the fact that we're on the floor with a gun in our face would slow you down."

"Nope, I like the thrill." He was too much, and I loved him all the more for it. Who else but him could put me more at ease in the middle of this craziness?

This went on for a good half hour, and the weird thing was it didn't look like they were looking for guns. Both Tig and I were told to stand so we could be patted down, and let me tell you, it was not comfortable in the least. I didn't like to be touched by strangers, and the fact that it was a woman didn't put me as much at ease as it was supposed to.

"You getting a good show there?" I spat at the cop that was watching the lady pat me down. He had been intently watching all the girls get patted down and it was just creepy.

"Let's clear the place, get 'em outside!" The head cop yelled, corralling us like sheep outside the garage as the continued searching the area. None of the guys looked happy, angrily whispering among themselves.

I stood with the girls and the mechanics. Chucky went back and forth between the groups, but respectively stayed out of the Sons' way. Lauren pulled me in the back of the group, lighting a cigarette while quietly talking to me. "I heard one of the cops talking on the radio, they're looking for prescription drugs."

My eyes widened and I quickly looked down, playing it cool. "Shit. Do the guys know?"

Lauren nodded, letting out a minty cloud of smoke. I personally hated the scent of menthols, but to each their own I guess. It didn't stop me from slightly wrinkling my nose. "They put me next to Bobby when they were checking the rest of ya. I let him know."

I nodded, pushing the stray blonde ringlets out of my hair. I had no idea how they knew, I thought we were so careful. "What a day. It's at a point that if you didn't smoke those shitty menthols, I'd bum one from you." A small grin came across my lips when Lauren snickered. "Just think of it this way, the day ain't hellish enough if you ain't settling for a menthol."

I nudged her with my shoulder playfully, Lauren returning the nudge. At that moment, I felt that kinship between us grow. Lauren was always polite to me cause of my mom and Gemma, but we were never friends. Right now, it was probably the friendliest we ever acted around each other.

The police slowly started clearing away, though the guys looked just as pissed as before. I stood back talking with the girls and the mechanics. Doug's grandfather was a New York cop back in the days were cops were total badasses, and he was going off on how the reputation of the police started going down when they allowed women on the force. At least with all this crap going on, I had some entertainment.

"Anna! Get your stuff, we're going to see Gemma!" Clay yelled after returning from talking to Unser. I doubt that conversation was pleasant.

"Lauren!" I turned to her after asking Chucky to get the bags from the kitchen for me. "I need you to take the orzo out of the cabinet and cook about a pot full. I'll make the rest when I come back- Oh, thanks Chucky!" Chucky brought the plastic bags filled with Gemma's stuff and my jacket. Okay, I started to see why he grew on the guys.

"No problem, I'll get the girls to help me set everything up so dinner can be ready. See ya later Anna!" I waved before I turned and ran after Jax.

Oh god, it's one of the porn sluts. Gemma pointed me out to her at my last visit. Apparently she wanted Jax, which was all that much obvious by the way she walked toward him. It was whores like these that I hated, who wanted to sleep with a biker cause they thought it was just so cool and dangerous. I walked behind her, glaring at her while she sauntered up to Jax.

"This is probably a bad time, but I was hoping for that lift home?" She flipped her hair and rested her thumbs in the belt loop of her child size shorts, looking at Jax.

"You're right," I said, coming up from behind her and putting the stuff for Gemma in the saddlebags on Jax's bike. "It _is_ a bad time." I took the helmet from Jax and climbed in back of him, giving her a challenging look before I put my sunglasses on. Wrapping my arms around Jax's waist, I felt him shrug at her before we drove off.

"Why is she allowed to be there? She'll be secreting slut diseases everywhere," I growled with my cheek against the cool leather of Jax's cut.

Jax sighed at looked behind me at me when we got to the stop light. "Give it a rest, it ain't important." I rolled my eyes and stayed silent for the rest of the ride to the hospital.

"Listen, Clay's gonna go to Gemma's room and talk to Oswald for awhile," Jax began after he parked the bike, handing me the bags of Gemma's stuff. "You're stayin' out here with me. We're gonna wait for Alvarez. I'm gonna take him to the Chapel, and you're gonna go and tell Clay that "our friend" arrived. Got it?"

"Okay," I said with a shrug, handing Jax back his helmet. I knew who Alvarez was, but I never met him so this should be interesting. Jax and I watched Clay go inside while we both leaned against the wall. "Any idea what tipped the cops off?" I asked quietly, watching Jax light a cigarette.

He looked more stressed than usual, which was saying a lot. With the stuff he had on his plate, I was surprised he wasn't losing hair from stress. "Na. Best guess is someone told 'em. We had nothing left by the time they got there, so it ain't like they had anything on us anyways."

I hid my hands in my jacket pocket, taking off my sunglasses. "Good. Only thing to focus on is getting your son back then."

"That's the plan. Oswald is our best hope, that's why we need Alvarez here." The sound of a motorcycle came in at that moment. "Right on time."

Alvarez parked his motorcycle by Clay's, giving me a chance to study the Mayan President. He held himself the way that all fearless and powerful men held themselves. Actually he reminded me a lot of Clay in the air that he gave off. No wonder the Mayans were so dangerous.

"Thank you for coming," Jax stepped forward and grabbed Alvarez's hand bringing him in a hug.

"It's no problem my friend. Family is important," Alvarez's Mexican accent was hard but easily understandable.

Jax looked at me, nodding his head. "Go get Clay, stay with Gemma." I nodded and left without saying a word. When dealing with other clubs, I knew that the way women were to act is the be seen and not heard unless asked.

"Hi, I'm here to see Gemma," I said to the police officer outside the ward where Gemma was kept. They checked my bags as usual, before letting me through.

Knocking on the door as I opened, I smiled slightly at both Clay and Elliot Oswald. "Good evening Mr. Oswald. Clay, your friend has arrived." I placed the bags on the counter and stood to the side.

"Thanks Angel." Clay rubbed my shoulder before looking at Elliot. "Come on, got someone for you to meet."

Clay and Oswald left the room, leaving Gemma and I alone. "This is about getting Abel huh?" I asked, handing Gemma a bag of magazines and sat down next to her on the bed.

"Yea. He'll help. Elliot is a good guy, and he knows we support him." She looked me over, a smile coming on her face. "Look at you. You actually listened to me."

I rolled my eyes, smiling as I adjusted the sleeves that were supposed to stay off the shoulder. "It's not like you left room for argument. I do like the look though, mom would have loved it."

A sadness came over Gemma as she stared at me in that manner where she's practically staring through me. "Yea. Your mom was a classy lady, only wore jeans when we were going on a ride. She pretty much lived in dresses."

I placed the rest of the stuff in front of Gemma, watching her look through the makeup and snacks. "You wanted to talk to me about something Gem?"

"Yea, I do, staring with-" Gemma was interrupted by a knock on the door. Clay came inside, slight smile on his face. "Oswald is helping us. We leave tomorrow in the evening."

"That's great baby!" Gemma leaned up to kiss him when he came over.

"Anna, means you got some packing to do. Talked it over with the club, we want you there. Abel's gonna need a woman around when we get him back, and Gemma and Jax wanted you."

"Of course I'll go," I smiled at both of them. "You know I'll do whatever you guys need me to."

"We know baby, that's why I gotta talk to you." Gemma looked up at Clay. "Give us a couple of minutes?"

"Yea. Angel when you finish I'll take you home. I'm gonna wait in the waiting room." Clay kissed Gemma's hand and left the room.

I had no idea what she wanted to talk to me about. Okay that's a lie I had a small inkling that it had something to do with Belfast, but I kept my mouth shut, waiting for her to start.

"Get comfortable babygirl, cause I'm about to throw some heavy shit at you." These were one of those times where I knew the best thing I could do was keep my mouth shut and really listen. Gemma loved me, and this appeared to be pretty serious.

"I'm can't be there for my boys anymore Anna. I'd give anything to change that, but it ain't gonna happen. I need you to do what I can't. Take care of my boys. _All_ my boys." She leaned over and took my hand, squeezing it tight. "They will take a bullet for you, you know that. I know you love them, but it's more about loving them. You gotta be strong for them baby, you need to be their rock."

I took in every word, watching Gemma's whiskey hued eyes study me intently. "Jax... he's not himself. He isn't going to be himself till he gets his son back. The guys are going to have his back every step of the way, but you need to be the one that grounds him. Don't let him get caught up in club bullshit or any of the IRA crap. You don't ever let him get off the path of getting his son back."

Personally, I didn't know what exactly could happen to distract Jax from that, but Gemma probably knew something I didn't. "I won't let him Gemma."

"Good. You need to be there for all the boys too. It's gonna be hard for you, I know. But you gotta get passed that shit and stay strong." She squeezed my hand again. "You thought about what it's going to be like seeing your dad again?"

I hadn't, but that's only cause I did everything I could to keep it in the back of my mind. "Sort of. He's not really my dad, he didn't raise me. Piney is more of my dad than he ever was," I said, the bitter edge in my tone was more prominent than I had hoped. I barely knew my dad, and it never bothered me much as a kid and didn't bother me now. I was just angry because he was a coward as far as I was concerned.

"You say that now baby, but he's still your dad. A shithead yea, but he is your dad. You know I'm not his biggest fan after what he did to your mom. Aaron took it harder than you cause he was older, but you gotta expect that. Glad that he isn't the one going."

"Look Gem, I don't plan on talking to him if I can help it. I'll stick close to Tig, or someone else, not let him have a chance. I have nothing to say to him."

I didn't want to talk about this, and as much as I love Gemma and respect her this was not something I was up for listening. It wasn't an issue for me now, and talking about it would only going to make it one.

Gemma stared at me for a moment, gauging my state of mind most likely. She had that way of looking at you in a calculating manner, seeing through all the walls and fronts a person can put up. "Alright Anna," she dropped the subject, leafing through the magazine I got her casually.

"You're strong baby, just like your mom. You gotta be even stronger for these boys. No giving anyone lip, and I do mean anyone." She peered at me knowingly. "That crap with Hap, it's gotta end. I know he doesn't take it easy on you but you gotta ignore him, let him be. He's SAMCRO now, and that means-"

"Gem, you're worrying too much. Look we're... okay. I mean, I think we're past the bullshit. I've been good since last night, which was just crazy. I... look I have no plans to give him any trouble. I mean that."

I proceeded to tell Gemma about last night, admiring the coolness in her face through the entire story. The only time that coolness broke was when I told her about what happened with Happy at the gas station. She had this odd little smirk, as if she knew something I didn't. There was this sureness that Gemma had to her when she was formulating something in her head.

"You rein in that attitude of yours, and I think you'll both be fine," Gemma took another drag of her cigarette thoughtfully. "Just remember darlin', in Belfast you gotta show them all utmost respect, SAMCRO needs that strong image."

"I don't think that will be a problem," Clay said, closing the door behind him. "Belfast is a go. Angel, that means you gotta get ready. If it don't fit on your back, don't pack it."

I nodded solemnly. "Alright." I reached over and grabbed Gemma's hand. "I better go get dinner started, the guys need it." I leaned down and kissed Gemma's cheek. "I'll come by and see you tomorrow morning. Don't worry Gem, everything will be fine."

Gemma squeezed my hand, smiling sadly at me. It really broke my heart to see her like this. "Thanks baby."

"I'll save you some dessert Clay." He kissed my forehead lightly and handed me my bag. "Wait for Jax on the bike Angel, he's talking to Tara."

"Alright. Good night guys." I closed the door softly behind me and shifted my bag over my shoulder and walked out of the ward and outside. I couldn't say I was surprised that Gemma was concerned about how Happy and I would get along, we never had been good around each other. It was different since last night though. I was pretty sure I still annoyed him, but probably in a different way than before. Before there was so much malice between us, and that feeling wasn't there anymore. It was kind of nice to be able to at least tolerate him too, and to be honest I didn't want to ruin that. It's a lot easier not to be on the edge around him.

Not that I like him or anything. I was just glad to be able to be in the same room as him without his smirk making me seethe in anger.

I leaned against Jax's bike, waiting patiently for him to come out. The poor dude had been handling his stress surprisingly well, though from what I heard from the girls, he was a total wreck in the beginning.

Speak of the devil, he left the building, looking very troubled and heading toward me while lighting a cigarette.

Uh Oh.

"Hey. You okay?" I dropped my stuff into one of the side bags as I studied his handsome face. Lately he had been looking a lot older than he actually was, which wasn't unexpected yet it still worried me.

"Yea. Just a lot to get ready for." Jax took a long drag of his cigarette, slumping his shoulders slightly. "Gotta get the guys together, call some of our brothers from other chapters to be on call so they can hold down the fort."

I nodded, not saying anything and just letting him talk. "It will work out. Soon Abel will be back with you, and everything will be alright."

Jax stayed silent, just smoking his cigarette and looking at the hospital.

"Everything okay with Tara?" I asked gently, studying him while his expression tightened.

"Yea, everything is the way it's gotta be." He didn't offer anything more, and I didn't press him further.

Jax flicked his cigarette to the side and handed me his helmet. "Let's get back. You got a dinner to make right?"

Wrapping my arms around Jax's waist, we drove away to the hospital, my heart breaking slightly to see him in this state. I didn't know what happened with him and Tara, but I knew him enough to know he when he was in distress. I stayed silent throughout the ride, nuzzling my face into his back once in awhile in a weak attempt to comfort him.

**IIIIIII**

Three hours later, all the guys and girls at the clubhouse were nice and full from dinner, and those that didn't go home to spend some time with family before the trip we're hanging at the bar. Tig had his arms around Holly and Lauren, putting on the charms and looking very relaxed.

Opie had gone to spend some time with Lila, and Jax disappeared somewhere. Bobby was playing pool and Piney had gone home for the night. Chibs was playing cards with Cassie and the prospects. Jen was spending the night with Juice, and I was bartender for the moment, hanging at the bar with Chucky and Koz, cracking up and ignoring the glares from Tig. Koz had the same kind of charm like Tig, except more boyish and I admit, I liked him. A lot. I never got a chance to talk to him like this, and now I wish I did.

"Okay, wait. How did you end up not owing the guy any money? No way can you walk away from a loan shark without paying back a cent." I leaned closer to him from the other side of the bar, unable to keep from smiling.

"Pour me another drink Beautiful, and I'll explain." Koz winked at me and slid his empty glass to me. I immediately grabbed it and poured him another jack and coke, eager to finish this story.

"Anyways, I'd always been a good talker, so I went in there and was telling Ray that it was actually Vinny that sent me to him, and I was acting on his behalf. Remember that guy I mentioned that we had to kick out of the bar? Turns out he was one of Vin's men, and I looked enough like him that could easily describe me as the other guy. I went on to tell him this crazy ass story about how and why the money was needed, and Ray was supposed to have someone go over there and talk business do business under the radar. I don't even remember half the shit I said, but I know it had him good and mad, and cause a small war with the Italians. See, Vinny and Ray never liked each other and were always trying to destroy the other, so they were too focused on yelling and killing each other, that I walked away without a problem."

I gaped at him, slightly amazed and impressed. "Wow. And all this while drunk. Just wow."

"That's nothing, wait till I tell you about the time I ended up on freeway with only my socks and my-" Koz was cut off by the sound of a door being wrenched open and then slammed shut. Happy came into the clubhouse, looking angrier than I had seen him in awhile. He tossed a bag to the side, walking over to Tig without so much as glancing at anyone else.

"Anything I need to know?" The girls sat silently next to Tig, not even looking at Happy.

"Tomorrow is a go. Be ready at the latest at five. Plane leaves at six." Tig answered casually, not all that phased by Happy's mood.

Happy just nodded. "I'll be in the garage." Without a word or glance, he went out toward the garage in the direction of the ring.

My eyes never left his form the whole time, part general curiosity, and I just couldn't look away. Koz had glanced at him briefly before going back to his drink, seemingly used to it.

"Don't worry about him Beautiful, he gets like that sometimes when he comes back from seeing his mom," Koz explained, lighting up a cigarette. Something inside me lurched slightly at that, and I finally understood why the feeling was familiar.

"Is she sick?" I asked, placing an ash tray in front of Koz. "Yea, has been for awhile. Musta been a bad night for him to get like this though." Koz left it at that, having known him for years and used to it.

Meanwhile I felt a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach form, the kind you get when you recognize something you wish you didn't. Something clicked in my head that I didn't realize before, and it made everything make so much sense now.

It was like a flashback to years ago, when I remembered coming home in a haze of emotion from the hospital, looking for an outlet. I would come back, completely devoid of emotion and demand a beer from Opie, or just joy ride at dangerous speeds. Other times I would come home drunk beyond my capacity and someone had to pick me off the floor where I passed out. And I was only about sixteen then too. This time though, I was watching someone else go through the motions, and let me tell you it wasn't pleasant.

Years later, I probably still wouldn't be able to answer why I did what I did next. I hesitated only for a second, and then asked the question that would pretty much be the start of my world turning into a pile of crazy.

"Chucky? How does Happy like his bourbon?"

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**

**Hello my wonderful readers! Well I am all moved into my apartment, so I promise the wait for the chapter won't be as long as before. After two months of entertaining relatives visiting from another country, I finally have time to myself where I can write without stressing. I'm sorry for the wait everyone, but I promise to make it up to you.**

**This chapter I felt dragged out a bit, but it needed to be written for the build up to the next chapter, which will be written in Happy's POV. It's a scene that has been in my head since I wrote that first chapter in his point of view. I promise you will love it.**

**A shout out to all the readers that added me to their Story Alert, thanks so much for following!**

**And a HUGE thank you to all of you that reviewed. Your reviews was what fueled me to crack down on writing the second my relatives left, and I finished it all in about a week. Thank you to: Linda, HermioneandMarcus, jdedmom, wrestlenascargirl, Venetiangrl92, ottie1978, and ILoveAnime89 for your reviews!**

**And now, my new Q&A sections, answering the questions I didn't respond to those that sent me messages.**

**1. Yes, that girl in the cover picture for this story is how I picture Anna to look like. It took me three hours on Photoshop (I'm not very good) to get it done. I actually recently found out about that actress when I saw her in Battleship photos, her name is Brooklyn Decker and when I saw her the first thing I said was "Whoa, give her a perm and you have Anna." Granted no one knew what I was talking about when I said it out loud, but her face and her voice and everything is almost exactly how I saw Anna in my head. **

**2. The names I choose for chapters are indeed the names of songs. I listen to a lot of Rockabilly and Southern Rock, so I was pleasantly surprised when some of you recognized Devil Doll. They're one of my favorite bands. The title is usually whatever song comes to my head when I read the chapter.**

**3. I know I was annoyed in my last author's note, and I apologize for the attitude in that post. I was under a lot of stress and the demands and complaints I received in both reviews and messages on this story were far from constructive, helpful, or even relevant, so I wasn't in the best of spirits. I should have worded myself better, so I am sorry.**

**Thank you all for reading, and please review, it really helps me know if I'm on the right track or if stress is causing me to go nuts and write nonsense. Plus the more reviews I read, the quicker I write.**

**Thanks again for reading!**

**-Daria**


	13. Hazy

There's something about the feeling of your bare knuckles connecting with anything solid that made a good outlet for getting shit outta my system. Had been that way since I was a kid.

Since I joined the Sons, it had made a good outlet that kept my personal crap from gettin' in the way of business. Women, fighting, and a strong drink was all I ever needed to deal, and tonight was no different.

Fuckin' doctors, they're more businessmen these days. Half of them don't give a shit about their patients, they only smelled money. Only good doc I ever met was Jax's Old Lady, you'd think there would be more like her around.

Ma was a strong lady, and even with the 'scrips I got her she still seemed weak. On top of all that shit, they're telling me they upped the prices of the hospice and Ma's insurance don't cover it. That's such shit.

They told me Ma had only a month left before she had to be moved out. And to top all that off, I was probably gonna be in the cooler in a little over a week.

I had tossed my shirt aside the minute I walked in and the second my fist connected with the hard material of the punching bag, I didn't stop.

Every time the pain shot through my arm from hitting the bag with bare knuckles, it gave me the fuel to continue. I didn't notice the pain after awhile, not that I gave a shit about it to begin with.

I gave Ma all my extra funds, added to her insurance to get her to stay at a nice place, and it still wasn't enough. It was my job to take care of her, least I could do was give her all I could in her last years. Cancer was taking over her quickly, and there was only so much chemo can do to help.

You'd think the fuckin' doctors would wanna do more, but unless you got the cash they didn't wanna do shit.

On top of all that, Ma told me the doctor told her the residents were nervous with me being her son and comin' to visit. What a crock of shit, I never saw anyone but my mom and her doctors, it ain't hard to figure out who has the real problem.

What really got me though, more than any of that shit was that I couldn't do anything about it. With me goin' away for I don't know how many months, I couldn't even be around to take care of Ma.

I punched the bag so hard the chain started wobbling.

Being helpless and stuck ain't something I ever deal with well, especially when it came to Ma. She was one hell of a lady, raised me best as she could while working two, sometimes three jobs to support me.

When my Aunt Lisette went to rehab for a year, Ma took in her four kids. With three teenagers and two little kids under her roof, we never went hungry, never got into too much trouble, and she was always there when we needed her.

My cousins sent a little money, but none of them had much to spare and I wasn't askin' for more. She was _my_ mother, I should be takin' care of her.

The leather of the punching bag took another merciless fist, the shape of my knuckles leaving a slight indentation.

Being helpless never worked with me. No matter what kinda crap life threw our way, I figured it out, got shit done.

Now I couldn't do anything. Couldn't afford to have her stay, wouldn't be around to take care of her.

For the first time probably ever, I started to doubt my decision to join the Sons. And that ain't something I take lightly.

The sound of ice in a glass had me whirl out of my moment and face whoever the hell was dumb enough to bother me at a time like this.

Big fucking surprise, the Club Princess had sauntered over again.

"The hell do you want?" the words came out in a snarl, and with no one else around I didn't give a fuck how I sounded.

She didn't seem phased at all, hell she looked damn casual. "You looked like you needed this." She held up an almost full bottle of Wild Turkey, the rest poured into a glass with ice on a tray of food. "You missed dinner too."

Of all fuckin' things to bother me about, it was to bring me a drink and food. What the hell was this broad playing at?

"Leave it and get out."

"Nope." She hopped up on top of a metal bin, crossing her legs and making herself comfortable.

You gotta be fucking kidding me. "You really taking the dumb blonde to a whole new level girly, get outta here before I throw you out myself."

She tossed her curls over her back and made herself comfortable. "Hey, I'm just sitting here quietly, keeping you company. No need to get your underwear in a bunch."

I was seriously debating just backhanding her off that bin. I didn't get this girl, and that drove me nuts. She got under my skin with just a look, a fucking look is all it took. Yea she may not have been saying anything all that bad, had it been any other chick I woulda told 'em to scram and that's the end of it.

Not _her _though, she just had a defiance about her that I couldn't stand. Seeing her sitting there, boldly looking at me in this weird way was threatening to set me off something big.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You think you got any right to act like a fucking brat, to talk to me like that? Get out Princess, I ain't want anyone's company, especially yours."

This broad, this frustrating broad had me reacting way more than I shoulda. Truth was, last night did change how I saw her. She got a mindset and a set of values I can admire, and I got no doubt of her loyalty to the club. She was okay in my book all day, but right now it's like I wanted to throttle her all over again.

"You don't need me to leave, being alone and beating yourself numb won't help anything." Her voice was strangely casual while her stare held gentle understanding.

It was exactly what set me off.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck do you know about any of this shit?" In a blur, I stood in front of her and my hands slammed loudly on either side of her on the metal bin, my last thread of self control before I full out gave her the smack she deserved.

"You're talkin' shit you have no idea about. This ain't any of your business, I ain't any of your business. Go fuck off. Go back to your pretty little world where you got half the members lookin' at you like you're a helpless kid, where you got the protection from big bad me. I'm fuckin' sick of you."

I didn't stop there, didn't even wanna stop there. I was glaring at her so hard that her face was starting to get blurry.

"I'm sick of you being the pussy on the pedestal. It's fucking disgusting how you're treated, havin' everyone worried cause you can't keep shit together. Yea I imagine your life was so fuckin' hard huh? Your parents and brother left ya all alone and yer a helpless little lamb now huh?"

She wasn't interrupting me at all, just looking at me, those huge ass eyes looking so sad. It pissed me the fuck off. She didn't even talkback to me, only adding to my fury.

I didn't care anymore, I thrust a hand into her hair and coiled the curls around my fingers, yanking them hard enough to get a small squeak from her. I forced her face close, seething in anger.

"Life ain't all about the bullshit teenage angst you went through. You always got a nice little support system surrounding you like a fuckin' diaper. What the fuck do you know about dealing with shit on your own, or being-"

"Helpless?" Her voice was soft and sad, and made me let go of her fast, as if I felt a burn.

She continued speaking in that same soft voice. "Like when watching your mom, the only parent that had always been there, slowly dying every day right in front of you? When knowing that no matter how good you are, how much money you make, none of that will help her?"

I stared at her transfixed, adjusting to the turn of events. Despite the fact that her eyes were shining in unshed tears, her voice remained steady.

"The feeling of helplessness that's makes you feel like a complete failure? That makes you so numb, desperate to feel anything different. That's where the drinking, the fighting, the whole doing crazy and dangerous things come in." The smile that appeared was bitter and sad all at once, a shallow laugh escaped her.

"The real kicker is that none of it helps. Not driving fast cars, and not punching things. Not even finding company just for the sake of having someone there. I can't remember anything lonelier than those late night moments when you feel completely alone lying next to someone." She met my eyes for the first time since I let go of her, and it floored me.

I ain't no fool when it comes to women and their acts, and I never fell for the charms any broad threw at me. It was all fake, people show you what they thought would work on you, expecting something in return. The whole time Anna spoke, I looked for even a tiny bit of that, I could find it pretty damn easy at this point in my life.

It wasn't there though, but I got a chance to see pure understanding on a level I thought didn't exist outside books. Those damn green eyes didn't hide a thing. I knew right then that she got it.

It was hard to describe the moment that passed, but in less than a minute, it felt like I was punched in the gut.

It ain't easy to catch me off guard, and that's exactly what happened with her. Last thing I ever expected was that this broad, the same one I couldn't stand up until yesterday, the same one that managed to dig herself under my skin like no other broad had, was the one that got a part of me on a deeper level than anyone else.

When I came into the club, I met her mother. Good woman, hell of a looker, though Anna had a better figure. Probably cause her mom was sick at the time. I knew she was close with the her mom, and took everything pretty hard.

I had never really cared all that much what she went through, but I saw it now, hell I knew it better than I cared to.

I couldn't even describe how crazy that was, that of all people, that she was the one who got it. In the back of my mind I realized that things just shifted between us, and there was no going back.

I'd never be able to say how long the two of us stayed in the same position, not moving as we both tried to gauge the most unfamiliar situation that either of us could have imagined.

The only way to describe what was going on in my head at that time was a pitfall moment where ya start to rethink everything and notice new things you didn't see before.

I was remembering the woman in front of me seven years ago as a kid, remembering all the moments I saw her. In particular, her face from the night she ran over my bike became more vivid in my mind than it had been in awhile. That kinda pain ain't easy to forget.

Shit. It explained a lot too, why I couldn't get over hating this girl for a good while. As time healed her, everything had been going down for me. Ma had gradually gotten worse over the years, and in turn I had a harder and harder time coping.

All the led up to this moment, where I couldn't look away from the girl that pissed me off for the longest time and she just looked so calm, so sad, so damn understanding that it was almost too much to handle.

I'll probably never know why I did what I did next, only explanation I could ever give ya was that I didn't even think, just did it. Without any other words said, I leaned forward and kissed her.

It wasn't gentle, or sweet, or any of the crap that most people would expect in this kinda moment. It was aggressive, desperate, hungry, intense, like someone shot me with speed.

There was no hesitation from me or her, and with every movement from her lips I felt electric shocks running through my body. All that numbness was gone, and I felt alive. Every nerve was active, it was like I drank a whole bottle of the Dirty Bird while speeding down an empty road.

One hand fisted in her insanely soft curls and another wiped the tears that fell down her cheek before moving lower, gripping her thigh, I couldn't get close enough. To feel alive like this after that dangerously numb mood was something I couldn't get enough of.

Only thing that stopped me from getting more was her hand moving to my chest, pushing me lightly away. Her lips left mine, breaking the trance and leaving us both glassy eyed and breathing hard. I didn't know if it was her lip gloss or just her, but my mouth was still pulsating.

"Happy… I… I'm not that kind of girl." Her voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear. She was shaking, and my hands were itchin' to touch her again, especially after I let go of her hair.

"Yea, you aren't." Being in SAMCRO this long, I never had to work to get action. Hell all I really had to do was give the slightest of touch and they were mine.

She ain't a sweetbutt though, or a croweater. She had standards for herself, and in the biker world it was a rare thing. Honestly, I didn't remember the last time I even associated with a woman like that.

I didn't force myself on women, was never my thing and I never needed to. This time ain't no different.

"Wow," she breathed, her face tinged red, causing me to smirk. "Did you expect that?"

I snorted. "Yea, been counting the days."

She rolled her eyes at my sarcasm before looking at me in complete seriousness. "Are we going to regret that?"

"No." I didn't offer anything more, didn't think I had to. I had a lot to sort out, but you'd have to be an idiot to regret a kiss like that.

Yea, I knew that just two days ago I couldn't stand that sight of her, couldn't even be in the same room as her. At this point in my life, I learned just how quickly things changed, and I was past questioning it. Not worth it.

She had a hand up to hide her blush, making me smirk. "I should probably go. I honestly had no idea what I was doing coming here, but this was the last thing I expected. I think I embarrassed myself enough for one night."

Truth be told, I was glad she came along. Turned my whole entire night around, that's for sure.

"Stay." I moved away from her and sat in the chair by the table. "I like company when I eat."

I didn't, but she didn't know that, and I needed to gauge her a bit more to figure stuff out.

Every one of my brothers in the club put me and Tig side by side on never settling. Difference was always that Tig didn't see the sense in it, and I ain't ever been satisfied enough.

Not that I like this broad as anything more than a hot piece of ass that pissed me the fuck off. I just didn't feel like dealing with anyone else.

I downed half the glass of bourbon.

Shit, I couldn't drink around this girl. Last night, drinks didn't help me at all around her, and I knew wasn't a good idea with me and her alone, especially at that moment. She looked like one of those pinups from the 50s, red lipstick and everything. Like the women from the pictures Ma would hang around the house that she got for free from her job at the diner.

This was new territory for me, and I had no clue in hell as to what I wanted from her, if anything at all. None of this shit made sense, and I had a lot to figure out before anything else happened.

All I knew was that she was the first person I ever met that got it. She got rid of that numbness.

I fuckin' hated that numbness.

It made my head spin that this girl that's over a decade younger than me and she was the one that knew what it's like to go through those motions. Age didn't mean shit to me, I been with girls younger than her, but most of them were still in the silly stages, green as ever.

Not her though.

Wish I could say that the night passed and I got over all this shit, but it didn't. We had a total of four disagreements in one night, and we still sat together. I couldn't remember the last time I spent the night with a woman that I didn't sleep with.

The talking usually was harmless, not all that personal. I needed that though, cleared my mind enough to be able to think some things through. She isn't all that bad to talk to either.

Who'd a thought that we'd actually be able to somehow get along when we quit going at each others throats? I sure as hell didn't.

It was around four in the morning, I watched Anna sleep in the corner of the couch, curled up and clutching an afghan. It was a warm night, so the garage wasn't too bad.

With Ma, I decided I was gonna talk to my Aunt about taking her in. She was clean, living on her own, it might work if I offer to help her out with stuff. I calmed down knowing I had an idea on how to handle that whole situation.

I sipped my bourbon, watching a blonde curl sway with her steady breaths. I didn't like not knowing how to go about something, or not being sure about my actions. I moved past that stage where there was uncertainty for months before a decision was made. I didn't have time for that, and games where never for me. I'll figure out how I wanna go about this, if it was worth it.

Till I figured it out, figured her out, things would stay as they were, a calm haze.

And a big mass of confusion.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

**Wow, I finished that chapter much quicker than I expected. Thank you all for the inspirational reviews.**

**And for the record, I never expected this chapter to take the turn they did. The only thing I saw in my head after I got into Happy's head in Chapter 10 was that he was extremely family oriented, and I found a connection with him and Anna that I didn't expect to be there when I started the story. I had to really get to know him as the brilliant Kurt Sutter portrayed him. I hope that I got him right, cause this side of someone like happy is much harder to grasp than the other.**

**Thank you SO SO much to all my reviewers! You have no idea how much your excitement fueled mine. I love hearing your thoughts as to how I am doing, and especially any suggestions or ideas you have. **

**ILoveAnime89: Just as you asked I updated soon! Let me know what you think, I'm still a bit nervous on this chapter.**

**Otte1978: talk about thinking and re-thinking huh? I remembered your words through this whole chapter cause that exactly what it is. While Happy may be more sure of things than Anna, he's very cautious by nature. He's got a lot to think about.**

**Venetiangrl92: I hope you enjoyed the update, thanks so much for reading. Let me know what you think.**

**Wrestlenascargirl: Thanks so much for reviewing; I hope this satisfies your curiosity. I can't wait to hear what you thought of it.**

**JJ-Jefferu: I'm so SO happy I never lost you as a reviewer. I haven't exactly been the best updater with all the things life threw at me all at once, and I would have been upset if I no longer got your awesome reviews. I wrote this chapter wondering what you would think of it, as you always give me awesome insights. Can't wait to hear from you again!**

**Slytherin Studios: So you know, I kept thinking of that show "Deadliest Warrior" whenever I saw your username. Thank you so much for the encouragement, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

**A: Hope you enjoyed the update! Thank you for taking the time to review.**

**SilverAdvenger12: So I kinda of owe you a huge thanks, cause your review is what probably fueled me to finish the chapter. What can I say, your excitement is infectious. I love getting new readers, especially when they like the story enough to review it. Please let me know any thoughts or ideas you have, cause they might just jump start me to update again soon!**

**Thank you to all those who added me to their Story Alerts and/or Favorites, I really am flattered by it.**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter, which will hopefully be out as quick as this one!**

**-Daria**


	14. Push Comes to Shove

"Jesus Anna, how the hell did you whip this up in only an hour?" Jen picked up a slice of orange from the fruit salad I made for breakfast. There was already most of a hearty breakfast spread out on the table, though I was far from done. Maybe I was more like my mom than I thought, she used to come over to cook almost everyday.

"I'm not done yet, I still have to pop in this breakfast casserole," I held up the glass tray as proof, gently placing it in the oven. "Tig's favorite is my mom's old Charleston Breakfast Casserole. I got the ingredients yesterday just so I could make it for breakfast."

"And here I thought it was your perfume that made you smell like an amazing bakery. When the hell did you have time to make cinnamon rolls?" The look she gave me was priceless. I just shrugged with a smile and turned to pour the pecan brown sugar glaze on the steaming hot cinnamon buns.

What was I supposed to tell her? 'Oh well when I need to think, I cook, and after making out with a guy I at one point hated, I had a lot of thinking, so that's why the kitchen looks like a catering hall?' Right, like that wouldn't get me a billion questions. Jen would be on me in a second.

I did have a lot to think about, and cooking was such a soothing activity that took your mind off any distractions and let you think clearly. Yet, after a fruit salad, pancakes, cinnamon buns, breakfast casserole, breakfast biscuits, toast, and several steaming pots of coffee, I figured out little.

First off, what the hell was I doing last night?

Second of all, what in the hell was I doing last night?

And pretty much that's where my mind kept going. I doubted I had ever been so confused about something in my entire life. Just two days ago, I was perfectly clear on my feelings toward Happy, and then a metaphorical hammer smashed all that to pieces. Repeatedly.

That had been the first time I ever spoke to anyone ever about that period in my life. Not Gemma, not Jax, not Tig, not Dante, no one ever got a word out of me about it. Of all people, it was _him_ that managed to open me up, because I recognized exactly what he was going through. I knew Happy's mom was sick, but I didn't know the extent of it until I saw him last night. I didn't need to know the exact details to get that it was pretty bad. And then to recognize that common ground, to just see the sheen of true understanding in his dark eyes... I couldn't describe what that did to me. I guess the best way to say it was that I didn't feel so alone anymore.

And that scared me.

Don't get me wrong, it was nice not feeling so separated anymore, but the fact that it was Happy of all people was scary. And the way my heart started beating like drum solo in a metal band, that hunger for more that formed in my stomach downright terrified me.

Happy wasn't a bad guy, but he was the last guy I should ever have feelings about. Dante was right; I did want something serious, I did want to have a family one day, and I did have a slight sense of old fashioned romance in me. Absolutely none of that applied to Happy. He had never once taken a long term interest in any female, hell he and Tig would have competitions to see how many women they could sleep with in one night. It's like I was asking to have my heart crushed.

I arranged the cinnamon buns on a large place, my eyes narrowed in concentration and thought. I kept replaying that kiss over and over within my head, and I couldn't rationalize away the feelings. It felt good, so damn good. Like stepping into a hot shower after being out in the cold all day. What got me is that I just barely gained that control to stop it before it went further. That never happened to me before either, I was always very clear about my boundaries and standards. I never went further than kissing with a guy outside of a committed relationship, it was a strict rule I had set for myself since I first started dating, and I didn't compromise my morals for anyone. And last night was the first time I had a hard time remembering that.

To top it all off, it was surprisingly easy to keep a conversation with Happy. Granted, he didn't talk half as much as I did, but there was no awkwardness, no tension, the words just flowed. With all the bullshit from before aside, I actually liked his company.

"You realize you've rearranged the rolls like five times?" Jen's voice broke me out of my thoughts, forcing me to look up at her questioning eyes. "Well you know me, I'm a perfectionist with presentation."

Jen rolled her eyes, giving me a knowing look. "Sure, that's it. Everything okay? You know you can talk to me about anything." She was a good friend, always had been, and I knew that she was only looking out for me.

"Um..." I contemplated telling her for a moment, wondering if it might help me sort some stuff out if I said it out loud. My voice caught in my throat, and I clammed up. This was something private between Happy and I, and out of respect for him, I couldn't say anything. "I think I'm just feeling the stress of everything. We leave for Belfast tonight, and I have to pack, and see Gemma one last time before she..." I trailed off, not wanting to say the words, because that would make it real.

"Aw hun." Jen crossed the room and hugged me. "It'll work itself out. Trust me. The guys won't give her up without a fight." I lightly hugged her back, swallowing hard. I had no idea how I would be able to hold it together if I lost my godmother too.

"Come on, let's cover these plates so nothing gets cold and join the guys at the bar. Miles was telling us stories about his time in the Navy." I didn't argue, just helped her cover the trays and allowed her to lead me to the bar.

And of course, Happy was sitting at the bar, right along with the prospects, Doug the Mechanic, and several of the girls, drinking a coffee. When he met my eye, he smirked and I felt my face growing hot. Well this was just peachy, he turned me into a blushing school girl. I felt ridiculous.

"How much did you end up cooking Anna?" Chucky asked, passing me a coffee. I took it gratefully and smiled. "Well, you guys have one hell of a breakfast ahead, so I hope you're hungry."

"She made enough to feed all the guests of a royal wedding." Jen's comment was accompanied with a snort. I shrugged and looked down, avoiding Happy's eyes. "Well I got up early enough and showered in no time, so why not make breakfast?"

Christ, I couldn't even sit near him without feeling this weird giddiness. Yep, I was officially pathetic.

"How are you doing Doug? You staying for breakfast?" Turning my attention to Doug for awhile was a welcome distraction, plus I liked him. Doug was one of Big Otto's oldest friend, and he had been working at the garage as long as I could remember. All the mechanics here were awesome, and I knew for a fact Doug had been offered the chance to prospect for the Sons, but he wouldn't. He was a family man, had a wife, like five kids, and several dogs. Still, he supported the Sons no matter what.

"If your cooking is anything like your mom's, hell yea. Besides, I gotta talk to Clay about some of the orders and jobs we got in the next couple of weeks. Just so we know how to handle it and all." Doug never asked questions, just tried his best to make everything work, and make it easier on the guys.

"We definitely need help finishing it," Jen said sliding into the seat next to Doug. "I promise you, it's amazing." Jen adored Doug too, but for different reasons. He sort of adopted her into his family after she moved into the clubhouse. He had three daughters, and I imagine seeing her so young and scared got to him.

"Anna," Opie walked into the room, tying his hair back. "What time did Clay say he was supposed to be back?" I thought about it for a moment, wracking my brain to try and remember if he mentioned anything. "He didn't say, but Gemma's final tests are being done at ten, so I imagine he'll be here around then. And it's already half past eight."

He nodded at me, turning back toward the dorms. "I'll grab Lila, you," He pointed to Shepard. "Go knock on the others doors to wake them up. Tig tends to throw things at people, but you better make sure he gets his ass up." I smirked at the horrified look on the prospect's face. Tig was difficult to wake up, but he only threw shit at prospects for the fun of it. I remembered when Juice was prospecting, he had stitches on his head from a glass Tig threw at him. Lord only knew what poor Half-Sack went through.

"Tig being woken up is one of my favorite things ever," Jen voiced my thoughts out loud. Sitting on Doug's other side and a seat away from Happy, I joined the others in watching Shepard walk toward the dorms like a dead man walking.

I chose that moment to break my seemingly casual demeanor and risk at glance at Happy. Great, he's looking at me too. And cue the reeling mind and the tug of war I'd been feeling all morning. He seemed so much more calm about it all than I did, which only confirmed that I was a moron and needed to quit taking it seriously.

Then why did he say he wouldn't regret anything?

The click-clacking of heels resounded across the wooden floor caught most of our attention. Tara practically marched inside flying me without so much as a glance. "Tara are you-" She ignored me, and I instantly caught the look that Miles and Phil exchanged from behind the bar. What was going on?

I listened to Opie talk to Tara in the hall, my eyes instantly going to Lila when she came out. She didn't hesitate in coming over to me. "Lila, what's going on?" She looked extremely uneasy and worried. "I think... Jax spent the night with Ima," her voice was low and soft, glancing nervously between me and Op.

I on the other hand, felt my insides freeze. Jax wouldn't do that to Tara, he couldn't. Yea he cheated on Wendy a bunch of times, but Wendy was a crack whore that I never liked. Tara was different.

Tara practically running out of the clubhouse looking like she was ready to cry confirmed it though. And I felt my temper rise to the surface. "That son of a bitch," I muttered.

"Should I go talk to her?" Lila asked, glancing between me and Opie. He was livid, glaring at Lila in an accusatory manner. "What you should do is get that porn bitch out of our clubhouse." Whoa. "This is not my fault!" Poor Lila looked extremely upset and surprised, though I doubted she was used to dealing with this side of Opie yet. "No, but maybe if you didn't eat pussy for a living you'd have a better set of friends." The sound of a loud smack immediately followed, Opie's cheek tinged red from Lila's handprint.

He got no pity from me, that was completely uncalled for. I got up from the stool when Lila rushed past me, making my way to Jax's room. I stopped to punch Opie hard in the arm, though I doubt it hurt him all that much. "That was a shitty thing to say and you know it." I glared at him and made my way past him.

I threw the door to Jax's room open to see the porn slut fixing her belt, getting ready to leave. "Get out. Now," I spat, kicking her heels into the hallway as hard as I could.

She wasn't pleased. "Hey! Who the hell-"

"If you finish that sentence, I promise you that you'll be sucking jello from a straw for a year. Which would be a nice change from the usual things you suck I'm sure. I'm not telling you again." Just being in the same vicinity of this rancid bitch made me feel dirty. I didn't look at her, instead focusing on Jax smoking his cigarette in bed. Those few brain cells of hers must have been active enough to keep her mouth shut and leave.

It was just Jax and I alone, my glare focusing on him as I had a chance to study him. And rather than make me angry, it broke my heart.

"Jax-"

"Leave it Anna, this shit isn't any of your business."

My lips twisted into a bitter smile. "You know just six years ago, it was you giving me a talk, and me spitting out that it wasn't any of your business. I'll tell you the same thing you told me. You are my family, so you are my business."

"Anna-"

"No, just listen, and listen good. I could stand here and point out the obvious; that you're a complete _ASSHOLE_ and that was a major dick move!" My voice rose slightly at the last parts, cause I was mad. "But that won't get anywhere with you. So I'll say this: you're not doing anyone any favors. You're not some goddamn martyr. Yea life bit you on the ass big time, boo-fucking-hoo, and now you're going to cut away the only good things you have? THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!"

I took a deep breath to try and calm myself down. I knew what he was doing, in a weird way he was punishing himself by letting go of Tara, by separating from the relationships in his life that mattered to protect them from this life. It didn't excuse him though.

"How could you Jax? This is _Tara,_ the girl you've loved since you were sixteen. Any other girl I'd understand but her? I don't even know what to say to you." My heart was aching for him, knowing what he was doing to himself. He looked so lost, so defeated that it scared me. This wasn't the Jax I knew, and more than anything I wanted to make him into his old determined self.

"You're bringing yourself more pain than you deserve. I love you Jax, so much. It's breaking my heart to see you like this. This shit isn't going to make you feel better. That woman that you turned your back on is the only mother Abel has ever known. She nursed him back to health, cared for him, loved him like he was her own. What's going to happen when you get him back now?" The words came out angrier than I meant to, but I couldn't help that. Trying not to yell at him wasn't easy now, keeping my tone even was equally difficult.

I unclenched my fists and crossed my arms, looking away from Jax and focusing on the wall. I wanted to hit him, shake him, and just yell for awhile, but that wouldn't do anything. "I hope you're ready to accept this, cause you probably just ruined the best relationship you ever had." Without another words, I turned around and slammed the door behind me. I didn't want to hear his lament about how he's playing saint and doing it for her own good or any other bullshit. To be honest, I should have seen this coming.

I almost immediately collided with Opie's solid form. "Hey," he gripped my shoulders lightly, forcing me to look up at his large form. "Calm down. Won't do him no good if we're both pissed at him." My shoulders sagged in his grip, the sadness taking over my anger. "He's not himself Op. I don't expect him to be but something needs to snap him out of this downward spiral he's been on. It doesn't help him or Abel to be in this state," I said softly. Jax and Opie were like my brothers, I loved them both, and I knew them both so well it was a little scary sometimes.

Opie certainly was the least rational when in a volatile mood, but it took quite a bit to push him to that. Jax was all heart, and took the world on his shoulders. "I know. Look, it'll take more than some porn slut to break Jax and Tara. She's a lot tougher than she seems. I'll talk to him alright?" Opie was his best friend, and probably my only hope now that Gemma isn't here as the one to talk some sense into Jax. I nodded my head slowly and sighed. "This all sucks Op. It really really sucks."

"Yea I know. We'll get through it." He rubbed my shoulders for a moment and then let me go. "Go get breakfast ready." I just nodded, not bothering to argue. This had been the most emotionally draining days I had in long while. And there wasn't enough recipes to sooth it all away.

I had another long day ahead of me, with packing and visiting Gemma, and making sure the guys were all packed. I had promised Opie that I would pick up his kids and Lila's from school since Lila had work and Opie needed to have his schedule clear. Opie had some awesome kids, and Ellie took after Donna so much it was scary.

Without a word to anyone, I marched into the kitchen and laid out breakfast. At least I can finally catch up on sleep on the plane ride later.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I smoothed out the covers of Gemma's hospital bed, waiting for her to come back from the shower. The guy at the counter knew me by now, and didn't mind me waiting in Gemma's room. Truth is, I'm glad she was showering, cause I needed a moment to compose myself. It was hard to believe that this was goodbye. Maybe not a final goodbye, but the next time I saw Gemma, it would be during visitors hours in the Women's Penitentiary.

It hurt worse than I imagined knowing that she wouldn't be in my life. I couldn't call her or visit whenever I wanted, she wouldn't be there for any further major events in my life. She was supposed to be there when I got married and started a family of my own. She always said she would be, and it was like a kick in the gut to realize that it wouldn't happen. Not to mention, she wouldn't be there to see Abel grow up, and he would only know her as the grandma that was in jail, not as the woman who loved him so fiercely and fought for him more than anyone.

I swallowed hard, I couldn't break down in front of Gemma, it would only make things worse for her. The guys managed to be strong, and so could I. I hoped.

"Hey babygirl," Gemma walked back into the room with damp hair and smelling of signature perfume. That familiar smell of spiced plum, blood orange and jasmine brought such comfort to me, enveloping me like a warm blanket. I didn't remember Gemma wearing any other scent, and I was glad she didn't. "Hey Gem," I managed a small smile for her, despite the deep pit forming in my stomach.

"I'm guessing you came to say goodbye huh?" She sat down on the bed, tossing her towel on the chair. "Yea... I don't think it's a good idea for me to be here when you're transferred to county." My voice was softer than usual, probably cause I was trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. Gemma was the biggest influence of my life, I couldn't remember a time I was without her in my life. I would give anything to keep her out of jail, and right then I felt so powerless and awful that it was all I could do to keep from breaking down.

"Come here darlin'." I slid right into Gemma's open arms and laid my head on her shoulder, just as I had since I was a little girl. Blinking back tears, I was thankful she couldn't see my face right now. I soaked up the feeling of being in my Godmother's arms. It was like I was seven years old all over again.

"It's going to be hard for awhile, you're gonna have to be strong." She rubbed my back, resting her head to the side of mine. "You're mom would be so proud of you. _I'm_ so proud of you. I know you'll be there for Abel, for Jax and Clay and the rest of the boys. You have to help raise Abel right. Give him all the love you can from me." I heard Gemma getting choked up, her hold on me tightening. "Oh God. He's never going to remember me the way I remember him. My grandson won't ever know me." Her voice broke and some of the tears I had been holding back slid down my cheeks.

"Don't worry Gem, I mean it. Stahl can't get away with her bullshit, you'll be outta there before you know it." I hugged her tight, keeping my voice as steady as possible. "You'll see. Jax or Clay won't give up on you. Neither will I or anyone else. You'll be back with us." I was reassuring myself just as much as her. I had my faith in the guys to take care of her and get her out of there, I needed that faith in them.

I didn't think my words helped Gemma too much, as a tear slipped down her cheek and dropped on my nose. We didn't say anything for a long while, just sat and held each other. Gemma let out a strained laugh, breaking the sad silence. "I doubt you remember this, but you were the funniest little kid. When you were three and your mom was in Belfast for a month, you stayed with me. I don't know how, but you managed to get in more trouble than Jax ever did. One night, I woke up to hear all these noises coming from your room. John was away and it was just me that night. It was a bad time then with the Mexicans, and I was scared shitless that they were attacking the house, starting with your room. I sneak in only to find you had set up all of Jax's matchbox cars and tracks, and you were making them fly off the track and into the wall." Gemma let out another laugh, the memories probably warmed her as much as they warmed me. "He was so mad when he found out you took them from his room."

"You were a handful." Gemma's voice retained the heaviness as she recounted some of her favorite memories of me, like the time she had to sneak me out on my first date to keep Aaron and Jax from interrogating the poor kid, and when I proudly displayed a note the teacher sent home with me for beating up a girl that said mean things about the club. Despite the little bouts of laugh, I knew she was hurting. Her voice was full of longing and tearful as she spoke, rubbing my back and lightly rocking me back and forth.

A knock on the door came about a half hour later, interrupting our moment together. One of Gemma's doctors, a middle aged man, came in, smiling politely. "Sorry to interrupt. Mrs. Morrow, you're due for your final checkup. The nurse will come by to get you in about five minutes and I'll see you in the exam room." Gemma nodded, not saying a word until the doctor left.

Untangling myself from her embrace, I looked at Gemma's face, _really_ looked at it. The stress of everything had been taking a toll on her, and it broke my heart to see her look like this. "Guess I should get going..." I trailed off quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat. This was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and as hopeful as I was that everything would be okay, a nagging reminder constantly rang in my mind that I might never see Gemma outside of a prison ever again.

"Listen to me Anna. You stay strong. Take care of my boys, be there for them. Don't ever take shit from anyone that stands between you and your family." She had her firm voice again, covering all her fears and sadness. She brought her hand to my face and stroked my cheek tenderly. "You do me proud darling. Do everything you need to hold everyone up. Got that?" I nodded my head solemnly, taking everything she said to heart. "I won't fail them Gem. Or you."

We hugged tightly, my eyes falling closed as I tried to imprint the feel of this hug in my memory. "I love you Gem," I said softly, squeezing her tight. "I love you too babygirl." She kissed my cheek and held me for a moment longer. "I'll be fine. We'll see each other again soon." We let go and I smiled sadly at her, taking a deep breath before I left the room.

I really hoped the guys would figure something out, because this whole situation seemed too fucked up to be real. I never hated anyone as much as I hated Stahl right then. That bitch took my Godmother away from her family, and I wanted nothing more than for her to get what was coming to her.

By some miracle, I kept myself together walking out of the hospital. When I closed the door of my car behind, I broke down. My heartbreak of losing my Godmother came out in quiet sobs in the safety of my car. I would be strong for the guys, for Gemma. Right then though, my grieving sobs echoed in the enclosed space of my car, sitting in the shady part of the hospital parking lot.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I honked the horn on my car when I drove up to the school, waving at Ellie and Kenny. "Hey guys! Lyla had to work, she sent me to pick you up." They were sweet kids, and extremely well adjusted despite the loss of their mom and their dad being a convicted felon. Ellie was an honors student and Kenny was a star player on his school soccer team. I used to baby-sit them all the time when Kenny was born and Donna had to go back to work with Opie in prison.

"Hi Anna," Ellie said shyly. She used to be extremely talkative when she was younger, but I knew from Gemma that she had grown considerably quiet since her mother's death. Poor Ellie had to grow up very fast. "Get in the front with me love, we'll leave the back for Kenny and Piper." I winked at Kenny when slid into the back seat. "I get to hang out with you guys until your Grandpa comes back."

Both were smiling, so that was a good sign. "Let's go grab Piper, and we're going to the clubhouse, and I'll make you guys dinner. It's kind of crazy there right now with everyone packing to leave for the trip, so it might get hectic."

Opie was very strict about his kids knowing as little about club business as possible, and I didn't blame him. I grew up knowing little about the club, only catching on once I was ten that they weren't just a normal motorcycle club. Jax and Opie and my brother were raised the same way, and I for one agreed with it. Gemma, my mom, and Mary were all insistent that we have a childhood as long as possible, and I was quite thankful for it.

Yea, stuff happened that we had no control over, like Uncle John dying, and my dad staying in Belfast for good, and Big Otto going to jail, which did make us less innocent than most kids our age. We still had a pleasant childhood for the most part. Ellie and Kenny had it a bit harder than me, but they were well taken care of. Lyla was good for them, and I knew that they had no idea what she did for a living.

"Okay, Piper's in the school in Lodi. East Lodi Elementary or West?" I looked over at Ellie sitting next to me. "West Lodi Elementary." Her voice was so quiet compared to the talkative Ellie I remembered. Kenny on the other hand, still could jabber your ear off given the chance. "Have you met Piper, Anna? He's really cool, you should see the Lego city we built together. And Lyla helped us put it up on the table, and said we can have that there instead of flowers!" Kenny looked so excited, and it made me smile. He was one of the reasons I started wanting kids in the first place.

"That sounds awesome! You'll have to show me when I come back." I turned on to the parkway that led to Lodi. "What do you guys think of Lyla?" So far I liked what I saw of her, though I didn't approve her career choice. More than anything else, she was good for Opie, and that was what mattered the most. Though I knew for a fact that he would never talk to Donna the way he spoke to Lyla earlier, but I couldn't blame him too much. In his own way, Opie had a more conservative streak, and always preferred the sweet, girl next door type. If Lyla wasn't a porn star, she'd fit into that category easily.

"Lyla's great! She plays with us, and makes us fun lunches, and we do lots of things together!" Kenny was adorable when he was excited. "We go to the zoo on weekends, and to the park a lot. And then we have movie nights with Dad and Lyla. She has the biggest movie collection EVER!" I laughed, turning my head to look at Kenny's bright smile. "Sounds like you guys have a lot of fun."

I looked over at Ellie and smiled gently. I knew she missed her mother a lot more, being older and very close to Donna. "What do you think of her Ellie?" She looked contemplative for a moment, probably trying to think of what to say. "She makes Daddy happy. He likes being with us when she's there." Okay, that broke my heart. "Hun, you know your dad loves you guys. A whole WHOLE lot. It's been a tough year with losing your mom, and you look so much like your mom that he misses her all that much more being around you. It will get better, you'll see." I smiled at her, trying to reassure her. I might need to talk to Op about this though, the poor kid shouldn't feel like her only parent didn't want to be around her.

"Alright, you guys see Piper?" I asked as I pulled up to the front of West Lodi Elementary. Kenny rolled down the window and waved. "PIPER! PIPER OVER HERE!" A little blonde boy, a little older than Kenny ran over to the car, looking at me warily. "It's okay Piper, your mom sent me to pick you guys up. She's going to meet us at the clubhouse." I smiled gently and reached over to open the door in the back. "Hop in."

"It's okay Piper, she's like our Aunt. Her and Daddy, and Uncle Jax grew up together. 'Cept she's a girl." Kenny started talking Piper's ear off before he even settled in the car.

"Alright everyone have their seatbelts on? Good, let's roll." I turned up to local country radio station and pulled out the driveway. Piper and Kenny talked animatedly, which Ellie sat quietly, singing softly to the Rascal Flatts song on the radio. She was a cute kid, looked so much like her mom too, but had Opie's contemplative quietness. She was a little pudgy now, but she'd grow out of it once she hit puberty. I remember from the pictures at Opie's house, Donna was a pudgy kid too, and that all went away with puberty.

I actually didn't mind picking up the kids. Lyla needed to pack Opie's bag because they had club business, and since I had packed right after I came back from visiting Gemma, I didn't mind taking them. Besides, they were a pleasant distraction from the tearful goodbye I had with Gemma.

Like I had said before, this was the most emotional week I had in a long time.

Traffic wasn't too bad, and we got back to the clubhouse in no time. I parked the car in the lot and unlocked the doors. "Alright everyone out! Go over to the table outside, and I'll fix you guys something to eat while you start your homework." Kids didn't hang out too much in the clubhouse, and when they did it was a special occasion. They had a little playground outside now and more picnic tables, so that made things easier.

"Aw man, can't we help you cook or something? I don't wanna do homework!" Kenny whined, looking as if I had just told him to give up all his toys. "Sorry kiddo, those are orders from both Lyla and your dad. I'll bring you guys some homemade iced tea and sandwiches." I helped them get settled, and made sure they had their books out before I went inside.

"Oh hey Cassie, I need a favor." The petite brunette was the first one I saw, sitting at the bar and eating a salad. "Sure, what's up?" She placed her fork down and turned around on the barstool, her legs dangling back and forth. "I just got the kids from school, will you sit out there with them and help them with their homework? I'm going to make them some sandwiches and iced tea, and then I have to make some food for the trip tonight. Did the prospects bring in those coolers I asked for?"

"Yea they did, and sure I'll sit with the kids. You know I love them." Cassie and her cousin Elyda divided their time babysitting the kids of the club. Well, the kids that needed it. Bobby, Tig and Chibs didn't exactly see their kids enough to qualify for babysitting.

I was greeted in the kitchen by two giant coolers, one of which would be reserved for beer and water. I let out a large breath, blowing the stray curl that's preferred spot was right in my face, up and over my head. The kids needed their food first, but I had my work cut out for me before we left.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

**Okay, I had to break this chapter in two because it got up to 10,000 words. This was one of the harder chapters I had to write, cause I'm pretty much as attached to Gemma as Anna is, and this part of the series had me bawling like a baby. **

**Okay first off, as you see I changed the title, and thank you to **_**PinkMango92**_** for the idea. The original title was based on the song by Tom Waits, and a permanent song on my playlist as I wrote. Then PinkMango92 very generously messaged me how "Angel Eyes" by Love and Theft reminded her of Anna, and I was hooked. It's practically perfect and I feel it fits much better than the original title, which I had thought of changing for a while (titles aren't my strong suit.) So thank you again!**

**Next, remember that Anna knew both Jax and Opie her whole life, so she could get away with yelling at him like that. If anyone has siblings, they know what I mean. When they yell at you for something, it's different than if someone else did. That's probably the only reason Anna is able to lay into Jax like that, as I'm sure he did to her many times before.**

**Now a shout out to all those who added this story to their alerts and favorites. I'm pumped that you guys like my story enough to follow it.**

**And now for my awesome, amazing reviewers, you guys all inspire me and get me excited to write.**

**ILoveAnime89:**** Glad you liked the update, and I hope you like this one just as much.**

**Slytherin Studios:**** I KNEW IT! That's one of my favorite shows by the way, I learned so much from them, and frankly I wish I had their job. I hope you enjoy the update.**

**Venetiangrl:**** Thanks so much for reviewing! I'm so happy you loved the chapter and I hope this update is just as exciting. Thank you for consistently reviewing, it makes my day!**

**A:**** I'm glad I did well with Happy, he's really hard to write, but once I get into his head I have a lot of fun with him. I try to keep him as close to the character that Kurt Sutter created as possible. Thanks for you reviews! I look forward to hearing more from you.**

**AngieInWonderland:**** I'm glad you're excited for the story, I missed being away from it and not having the time to write a story with the characters I love so much. And congratulations, you were the only one to reference how Tig always says that Happy and Anna are a lot alike. Tig knows them both extremely well, and I think in the back of his mind may have even predicted that those two would be good for each other. I hope you stick around and see where this new development leads them. Thank you so much for your review, it gave me an insight to how others see the story. Hopefully I'll hear more from you.**

**RoseRedGurl:**** You're review made me smile! I'm glad you're excited for the story and I hope this chapter is also pleasing. Thanks so much for reviewing and stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**JJ-Jefferu: Of course I value your reviews, you stuck with me from the moment I started this story and always gave me excellent feedback. I always get happy when I see you are still following along. Since the first time I wrote in Happy's point of view, it got easier to get into his head. The only part that I had a hard time with was how he dealt with any kind of emotions, especially grief. I wanted to separate him from being too similar to Tig in the sense where he's a cold hearted killer that sleeps around all the time. As awesome as Tig is, I never let myself forget that he is a vicious and dangerous man. I hoped that chapter would make Happy all the more distinct from that category. **

**In this chapter, you have Anna again dealing with the craziness. Poor girl is being torn in every direction. Thanks as always for your wonderful reviews!**

**otte1978:**** It was definitely a struggle to have both of their vulnerabilities shine through in a way that it kept in character. Your review eased my fears of how it came out. Thank you so much for reading and I hope to hear from you again!**

**lexigrl:**** First off, based on this awesome review you gave me, I totally think you're selling yourself short on how good you are at them. I'm beyond flattered that you managed to read my story in one sitting (I know I tend to write a lot) and even more that you enjoyed it. Happy is a fun challenge to write, and you got my whole point with Anna to a 'T'. She is trying to stand on her own two feet within the SAMCRO family, and it's tough when many of them still see her as a kid. I'm so happy you are liking the story, and please don't hesitate to give me more feedback, I enjoyed your review so much! **

**lovinlife48:**** Ha, I didn't expect it to turn out that way either, but I'm glad you liked it! I hope you enjoy this one as well and thanks so much for taking the time to review. Hope to hear from you again!**

**SilverAdvenger12:**** Wanna know a secret? I initially wrote this story with Tig as the main love interest in mind, and Happy just someone that Anna kind of figured out as time went by. It changed as I wrote it, which I didn't mind, though Tig will always be #1 in my heart. I think partly the reason it changed was because I watched every season of SOA over and over to get to know the characters as much as I can, and I appreciated how Kurt Sutter made every character, no matter how insignificant, three dimensional. Happy was the hardest to learn, cause he doesn't get as much screen time as the others, but I still saw the layers of his personality. Here is a ruthless killer, and a guy that is rearranging his life to be there for his mom, and didn't hesitate to defend a woman who gave prescriptions to clinics from doped up hicks, despite being severely outnumbered. It was a startling revelation, but I'm glad it worked out. Here's another secret, the last chapter of this story will be written in Tig's point of view. It was in my head for awhile, and I think it will be the perfect way to close this story. A lot more will happen till then, but Tig will definitely have his spotlight (how can he not?). I am tentative to explore what happens with those two, and I hope you stick around to see it. I love your feedback, and I hope to hear from you again! Thank you so much!**

**wrestlenascargirl:**** I am so glad that you liked the chapter! Thank you so much for consistently reviewing and giving me feedback. I really hope you liked this one too! I hope to hear from you soon and stay tuned for the next chapter!**

**Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are welcomed, loved, cherished, and so appreciated. I'll have the next chapter up by the beginning of next week, if not sooner. **

**Happy Independence Day everyone! **

**-Daria**


	15. I Want Something That I Want

"Gemma?" I stared in slight shock, my open mouth turning into a grin when I saw my Godmother hop out of the car after Clay. Well this turned my rather emotional day around. "What are you doing here?" I moved from my spot next to Juice and reached out to hug her. "Where's Tig?"

"Halfway to Modesto by now," Clay answered before he picked up his phone. My eyes narrowed in confusion and I looked over at Gemma, who had the biggest 'cat that ate the canary' smirk on her face. "He's leading the police on a chase so I could come with you guys. I love that man." I did too, but I really wished that he would be there, for more than the obvious reasons of me adoring him. Though I had done a relatively good job of not thinking about it, I knew I'd have to face my estranged father, and Tig was a good person to have around for that occasion.

Mind you, I could stand on my own two feet just fine, but the biker world is a man's world, and for me to pretend it was otherwise was just foolish and naive. Tig had enough of a pull to be able to gracefully pull me out of any confrontation without me stepping on any toes. Plus, he knew everything that happened with my father and would probably be my rock throughout all of it. Though now that Gemma was here, she could certainly fill that void. Oh man, I was getting increasingly nervous the more I thought about it.

"Grab your stuff, let's go!" Clay announced, putting his arm around Gemma and walking toward the plane. I immediately grabbed my large pack that I used to use for camping and struggled to get it over my shoulders. While adjusting the shoulders I leaned down to grab the handle of the sandwich cooler to pull forward as well. I really should have thought over this whole packing light thing a bit better, cause this was not all that easy.

Without a word, the cooler was taken away from my hold. I look up and Happy was wheeling it away to the plane. I stared at his back and couldn't keep the smile from forming as I followed the others. Christ, I felt so ridiculous. I couldn't even rationalize it that it was a reaction to his change in attitude toward me either.

The ramp on the plane had super high steps, which instantly made me thankful I wore flats. Despite the fact that I started wearing heels and cute shoes, if I had a choice I'd run around barefoot. I planned to discard my shoes once I got comfortable anyways.

"Here, lemme get that Anna," Juice leaned down and eased my pack off of me. He held out his hand to help me up, cause he's ultra sweet like that. "Thanks!" Juice was a serious cutie, and I had no idea how most girls were extremely attracted to him and I wasn't. I adored him though, and spending quality time with him was a huge treat.

"Wow." I looked around the plane. "Not too bad." Oswald's plane had some seats on the side, but also there were sleeping bags rolled up and laid out, Plus a large pullout couch. There was far more room than I thought there would be too. "Alright everyone listen up. The bathroom is right over there, and those of you who don't have seats are going to need to stay still and hold on to something securely for takeoff and landings. Got it?" Everyone either nodded their heads or voiced their understanding.

"Gemma, Anna, both of you get seats first," Clay commanded before turning to talk to Oswald. I slid next to Gemma and right away put on the seatbelt. I had only been on a plane a handful of times in my life, and it still made me nervous. I laid my head on Gemma's shoulder and sighed, feeling more content than I had in awhile. I knew the next week would be tough, but at least I had the calm of now.

"Doin' alright there baby?" Gemma rubbed my arm and leaned her head against mine. I nodded, feeling slightly drained. "I made sandwiches and meatloaf. Plus I packed some of the cake leftover from yesterday and I have a bag of fruit in there too. Doug brought some of those white nectarines straight from the grove by his place, they're amazing." I heard the door of the plane shut and everyone was scrambling to find a place to sit. I realized then just how tired I was, my eyes growing heavy. I willed myself to stay awake for just a bit longer. I doubted that Gemma would appreciate me falling asleep on her shoulder.

I couldn't be blamed for being tired, I slept maybe a total of ten hours the past two days, and that was me being generous. I loved sleep, but the craziness of the last few days was enough to keep me from it. For that matter, most of the guys looked like they could use the rest, so I doubted I'd be the only one sleeping.

Bobby was sitting on the couch with Juice and the rest of the guys used the seats probably meant for employees and strapped in. I was sandwiched between Gemma and Opie, and happily switched my head to rest on Opie's arm when Clay put his arm around Gemma. I already was making plans to take one of those thick sleeping bags and sleep as much as I could during this fifteen hour or so flight. As soon as the flight was safely in the air, I'd set mystelf up for a long nap.

"Mmm I have a date with one of those sleeping bags and a pillow the second we're told we can move around," I mumbled into Opie's arm, my hold tightening as I felt the plane get off the ground. It had always been a little unnerving to know that solid Earth isn't under your feet anymore.

"First thing I'm doing is filling up on some of your sandwiches and meatloaf. You used Gemma's recipe?" Opie grinned slightly when I nodded against his arm. Gemma's meatloaf was famous among the guys, and I was one of the few she shared her recipe with. Whenever Gemma would have one of her dinners, there were always a select few dishes that were always present, and the meatloaf was one of them. "Tig's gonna be disappointed. I'll have to make him more when we get back." I missed him already, I had planned on dubbing him my pillow for the flight, and now I had to use an actual pillow.

"You're gonna have to make it for all of us, most of them won't have it for a long while." Opie's reminder made me flinch. I dreaded the guys going to jail, too many of them were going away for that matter. That was going to suck big time. On and off, one of the guys would go away for a couple of months, sometimes years, though this was the most number of members ever arrested and taken to jail at once.

I let out a long breath, slumping against him. "Yea. I will." I didn't say anything after that, just stared out the window at the sky as we flew higher into the air and my ears started to pop. Ah right, that was why I never cared for flying.

"Alright, before we do anything else, let's get some things straight." Everyone fell silent when Clay spoke. I brought my head up from Opie's shoulder to look at him. "Belfast ain't a vacation, we're there for one thing and one thing only- to get back my grandson. McGee said that O'Neil was clean, but I don't know how much I buy that. Till we find out, we don't let on to any of them that we got even the slightest suspicion. We'll have a good time with our brothers tonight, but I want all of ya to be on your guard." Everyone nodded silently, and I watched the dark look come over Jax.

I knew from the conversation I had with Clay earlier about the whole thing with my father that Jax didn't trust O'Neil at all. Clay had specifically told me to mind my attitude in front of the Belfast chapter, but should anyone give me trouble go to one of the guys. Okay, so I was well aware I had an attitude, but I knew better than to act up in front of other chapters. Piney would skin me alive if I acted up again.

"Angel, which cooler has the food?" Clay called, opening the lid of the cooler with drinks. "The blue one. I made roast beef sandwiches, chicken cutlets, and pierogis. Oh and packed the bit of leftovers we had from the dessert last night and some cinnamon buns and fruit. Knock yourselves out."

I unbuckled the belt, stretching my arms up and yawning on cue. "I, on the other hand, have been looking forward to sleeping on the plane all day. I'll be over there if you need me." Unbuckling my pillow from the top of my pack, I went on to drag the heavy cot from the top of the pile. It was like a heavy, squished mattress filled with foam and those beads in bean bags. I dragged it over to the darkest corner on the plane, next to some large wooden crates.

Getting the cot over there was as big of a pain as getting comfortable on it. I wiggled around so much that it had Bobby as me if I was okay. It was like getting comfortable when you're on the beach and laying in the sand. It took a good amount of effort to get in that sweet cozy spot, that was it for me. I kicked off my shoes, curled up into fetal position, and clutching my pillow, I fell asleep to the familiar sounds of the guys laughing and talking.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

I had no idea how long I slept, but I came awake feeling very warm and cozy. The plane was quiet, save for Clay and Bobby's snoring. I figured everyone eventually got tired and fell asleep. I didn't move for a good couple of minutes, slowly waking up and becoming more aware of my surroundings. First, I realized someone covered me with a sweatshirt. I took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of aftershave and cigarettes. I was all snuggled in Jax's favorite hoodie.

It was that moment that I became very aware of an arm draped across my waist and a body against my back. No wonder I was so warm and cozy, though the plane felt freezing. Lifting my head slightly to look at the source of my warmth, I smiled softly at the sight of Jax's face resting against my mass of curls.

Christ, I couldn't stay mad at him. Don't get me wrong, I was still super pissed about the previous morning, but I knew he was in a bad place in his life right then. The pain he was going through was something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Even in sleep, he didn't look peaceful. Since he was a kid, Jax looked almost angelic when he slept. How could he not, with the whole blonde hair, blue eyed gorgeousness he had going on. Now though, his brow was furrowed and he had a distinct frown on his face. By the slow, long rhythms of his breaths, I knew he was in a deep sleep.

Jax was such a good man, had been since he was a kid. Yea, he went through a dick phase from his teens till he was in his mid twenties or so, but he always had a good heart. He took care of Gemma, me, and I knew he tried hard to help Donna out while Opie was in jail. When he was with that crack whore Wendy, he did all he could to get her clean and take care of her. She never deserved him, and I never liked her. I never had much respect for druggies, especially after all those that came through the Sons over the years.

I snuggled back into him for a moment, enjoying the familiarity. Jax used to look after me sometimes when we were kids, and our thing was napping. When I had nap time, he would always nap with me. Gemma has a really cute picture that was hung up in her living room of a sleeping fifteen year old Jax lying on the couch at my old house and four year old me sleeping on his chest, my insane mane of baby blonde curls fanned out all over the place. I was a pretty tiny kid too, so Jax's chest even at that age was like a small bed for me.

Jax's hand on my stomach twitched when it rumbled from hunger. Oh yea, I hadn't eaten since lunch. I had been too sleep deprived to notice, and now my stomach was playing the song of it's people to protest. Very carefully, I took his hand off of me, sliding under it carefully before placing his hand where I used to be on the mattress. My arms went through the sleeves of his hoodie, which I practically swam in with the height and build difference, and it was so deliciously warm. Still in bare feet, I quietly stepped over the sleeping bodies sprawled out on the floor. It looked like everyone was sleeping, and Bobby was sprawled all over the couch that folded down from the wall, looking comfortable as ever.

I was in ninja-mode, stepping lightly as I made my way to the cooler for a sandwich and some fruit. I knew Bobby was probably the only other person who would have touched the fruit, so I wasn't worried that their wouldn't be anything left. As quietly as I could, I pried open the lid of the cooler slowly, trying to minimize the sound of that loud 'POP' that usually comes when you open a plastic cooler.

The soft sound of the cooler opening and closing after I got my food had me breathe a sigh of relief. Good, I didn't wake anyone or make too much noise or trip over-

**"SNORT!" **Juice's loud snore from right behind me made me jump at least a foot in the air. Christ, that sounded like a chainsaw being revved up. I scrambled to keep the fruit from falling, my heart beating a mile a minute. I suck at being a ninja.

A low chuckle had me look around, spotting the culprit sitting away from everyone else, cleaning his guns. I bit back a smirk and carefully stepped over Juice and Chibs, walking over to the only other person awake in the cool aircraft. My bare feet absorbed the cold from the floor a little too quickly, making me wish I had socks.

"Do you ever sleep?" I said with a smile, sitting Indian-style across from Happy, who never paused working on the gun. He just shrugged, glancing at me briefly. "Had enough sleep, wasn't as tired as everyone else. We still got five more hours of flight." I bit into the apple, watching him carefully insert the parts of a revolver back together. Okay so far so good, I wasn't acting completely pathetic around him. I tucked my feet under the hem of the Hoodie, pushing my wild curls out of my face. We both sat in a comfortable silence, me eating and him cleaning the guns and occasionally taking a sip of his beer. I settled into my position, watching him carefully and thoroughly clean the guns, taking them apart and putting them together like it was child's play. He must have only been doing the bare minimum of cleaning since I didn't smell any heavy chemicals.

"Can I help?" I asked after I finished eating, now only sipping my bottle of water. Happy glanced at me with sharp eyes for a moment. The moment lasted long enough that I was on the verge of blushing the way I did earlier. Finally, he tossed me a rag. "When I reassemble a gun, wipe it down, keep the safety on." The rag smelled faintly like Windex and was damp.

We quietly worked, with me trying to sneak a glance at him without him noticing, but I was pretty sure I wasn't as discreet as I would like cause even though he wasn't looking at me, I would see a smirk form on his face. Yep, pathetic mode is back.

Okay, I know, I was acting ridiculous, but you couldn't fully blame me. I was being torn in like fifteen directions, and quite frankly I was terrified and curious over all this. Of all people, he was the last person I ever expected to make me feel comforted and understood. It wasn't even the fact that he kissed me that changed it all, it was when I stood at the entrance of the garage and watched him beat the living hell out of that punching bag. As corny as it may sound, my heart ached watching him numb away all the pain because I knew exactly what that felt like, and remembering what I went through and seeing someone else go through it almost brought me to tears.

It was like some barrier between us broke, and suddenly being in his presence was easy and welcoming. I started noticing things about him that I never bothered with before, like how methodical and careful he was with his words, and how rarely anything that went on around him went over his head. And, yea, I admitted that he was handsome. Not classically handsome like Jax and Juice, or even Opie, but something that completely stood out on its own. He had strong features, his wide jawline and facial features were firmly defined and epitomized classic masculinity over the typical ideal male beauty. His dark eyes may have seemed ordinary until one caught the dangerous glint that combined with his sardonic, almost threatening brow line. Not to mention he had a tall, muscular build covering in ink that made most women swoon.

I must have thought too long about it while glancing up at Happy, cause this time he did look up and catch me staring. I quickly looked down and felt my face getting hot. What the hell is wrong with me? From the corner of my eye, I saw Happy shaking his head in silent laughter. "You're enjoying this aren't you?" I willed myself to look up at him, trying my best to keep from getting redder at the embarrassment of getting caught.

Happy shrugged, still with a huge smirk on his face. "So what if I am?" I knew he was down right tickled to see me tangled in a bundle of nerves. I smiled sheepishly. "Yea, I'm not used to the blushing schoolgirl thing. Thanks for that by the way." I lost the fight to keep myself from smiling when I head his low chuckle. "You rather I go back to mouthing off?"

"Now that I got a hint of what that mouth can do, I probably won't mind," Happy said casually without missing a beat. The color of my face officially rivaled a tomato. "You're awful!" The smile didn't leave my face, it was so damn easy to be around him and smile now.

Whoa. It was easy to _smile_ around him now? Okay, I was either a major sap or liked him more than I was willing to admit. I liked to think it was a combination of both. This was bad, this was really bad. I needed to wear a dunce cap, or a helmet, cause I had a feeling I was on my way to crashing and burning.

"Yea, you didn't seem to think so recently." Happy stayed so damn casual through all this that it was starting to frustrate me. This was a moment between the two of us that was completely on the other end of the spectrum of how we used to act around each other. Sure he would always frustrate me, but before I just saw red. Now I was turning red for a whole other reason.

The atmosphere between us was heavy, but not necessarily in an uncomfortable way. It felt like a lot of questions and confusion, but not so much that it kept things from being casual. I looked at my lap as I polished the gun and sighed, mostly in the fact that I realized how fruitless all that giddiness from the night before really were. "I'm not expecting anything from you. Sometimes things happen and I know I am probably setting myself up to get hurt. Things just got okay with us, and I don't want it to go south all over again. Not that I'm expecting us to be best friends or even friends, but friendly terms would be nice since we get in particularly bad fights. I'll keep myself from acting pathetic and stop-"

"You always babble like this? Or does it come from the whole being blonde thing?" Happy said sharply. My mouth dropped open and I looked up at him. His eyes were trained on assembling what looked like a Jericho 941, but he didn't let me get get a word in before he started again. "Quit over analyzing shit. Let things work themselves out without you acting like anything that ain't expected is some kinda life stopping crisis. It's fucking annoying." He sounded more like he was pointing out than annoyed, but I still felt my temper rise. "Hey, there is nothing wrong with me not wanting to make things weird and protect myself. And why don't you quit the blonde bimbo crap before you go around telling-" A loud snort from Bobby made me realize I had been raising my voice a bit too loud. Thankfully, it didn't look like I woke anyone.

"You ain't a bimbo, but you're acting like one. You're wastin' time convincing yourself that shit is gonna blow right up. Quit worrying about it and leave it alone, deal with it as it happens, and stay focused on keeping yourself outta trouble with the crap in Belfast." How the hell did that bastard manage to say all that so damn casually? I felt like a fish with the way my mouth kept opening and closing, unable to come up with a response. Begrudgingly, I went back to polishing the guns with a new vigor, being careful enough to keep my hand from having a hole in it. I swear he was the most frustrating pain in the ass of a man that ever walked the earth. How dare he talk down to me and then just turns it around making me seem dumb just cause I didn't want things to blow up in my face?

The more I thought about it the angrier I got. He was so sure of everything, acting like he knew best and I was just a silly child. What right did he have to tell me I was acting like a bimbo? I wanted to growl out of irritation at that point, I hated being dismissed and waved off like that. I stewed for a good ten minutes of silence, concentrating on my work and trying hard not to grumble.

"You're gonna end up blowing your hand off if ya keep cleaning those guns like that, Princess." I glared up at him, and kept silent all while he smirked in that way that was starting a tug of war in my head. "Why do you keep calling me 'Princess'? Adding salt to any wound you can find?" The look that he gave me was so intense that I stopped myself from going further. I always knew him to look at me with those dangerous dark eyes with malice and contempt. It was a much different look now, though equally intense. It's one of those talented looks that can make someone shut up instantly and fluster them in near shame. Annnnnd here was the blush that started faintly on my cheeks and was getting warmer. "Oh..." I said softly, feeling a lot of my anger fizzle out.

Maybe he was right, this whole tug of war thing was driving me crazy and it had barely been a full day. I had no idea what was going on with the whole thing with Happy, I had no idea what I even wanted from it, if anything. Well that wasn't true, I did want something, I just didn't know what. If I just let things happen as they would, I probably wouldn't have that urge to pull my hair out. I liked my hair, did you know how long it took to keep my hair from looking like a brillo pad to the pretty curls I had now? That aside, the more I thought about it the more jumpy I got, and that was the last thing I needed with the stress of everything going on now. Getting through this week with my estranged father and getting Abel back were my priorities, not stressing over what could potentially be nothing.

In the mean time, Happy and I sat quietly, him cleaning and assembling the guns, me cleaning them of excess grease off them carefully. Every once in awhile, I would glance at him, trying to figure him out. After replaying that mini spat in my head, I had no clue what was going through his head, but I guess that was a good thing. I wanted to enjoy that odd comfort that was present even in this quiet moment, despite the fact that I still felt a little nervous as hell around him.

_'No, stop, quit dwelling on it.'_ I kept reminding myself every once in awhile when I felt that swell of panic fill up in me when I got too comfortable and relaxed. Happy was completely unfazed, just going about in his usual manner and throwing me a smirk once in awhile when he met my eye. He had to be one of the most difficult people to read that ever existed. If he wasn't concerned with any of this, I shouldn't be either.

Yea, that's not gonna happen. Not at all.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

***Peeps out from corner* Am I safe? Eep. I really hope you guys aren't too mad at me for not updating when I said I would. I have a good excuse though, I promise. I went overboard on writing AGAIN and realized that the chapter came to more than 11,000 words. Breaking it up didn't occur to me till today. And I PROMISE the next one will be out much quicker, since I just have to touch up that one enough. **

**Now, I know you are all probably thinking Anna is acting a little weird around here and I know I'm going to hear something from someone about how Happy is OOC or something along those lines, so let me just explain. Anna is only sure of herself to a point, and she was thrust into a situation where she wasn't remotely prepared for. A guy she just got okay with a little over 48 hours ago is unraveling her barriers and in such a way that she can't exactly stop it. That makes her act unsure, which she isn't used, hence the panic.**

**As for Happy, in his point of view two chapters ago, he said that he and Tig differ by the fact that Tig sees the idea of sticking to a single woman a waste of time, while Hap just is never satisfied. I think that if there is a future for him and Anna, he would be weighing his options very carefully. Of all men, he would be as picky as ever if he ever chose to settle with anyone. Think about it, he has two women in his life that are permanent, his aunt and his mother. And these are the women that raised him. He would never just pick anyone to let into his life on a long term basis, and if he ever considered it, it would take a lot of thought and calculation. He's attracted to her, I don't see him ever with a woman without spunk, and the level of understanding on something that probably gets to him a lot more than he lets on. At the same time, Happy isn't afraid to tell her like it is, even if it means pissing her off or hurting her feelings. He's extremely amused by seeing her act so out of her usual cool exterior and even more amused that he's the reason for it. The reason he is so calm is because he knows that whatever it is between them he'll figure out if he wants to pursue or not without the extra drama. Drama isn't his thing, he's too calculated in his decisions to be nervous about them. So if he chooses for something to go further between him and Anna, he'll know for sure and without any doubts. **

**Now that that's over with, I have some shout outs.**

**First- A huge thank you to all those who favorited my story and added it to their alerts. Thanks so much for following guys, please feel free to leave me a review, even if just to say hi. I love hearing from you guys!**

**On that note, I 3 all my reviewers who make me smile and excited to write.**

**SilverAdvenger12:**** You seriously are becoming one of my favorite reviewers, your insights are spot on and partially inspired the whole Anna mini panic attack at not being able to figure out what Happy was thinking, so thank you for that. NEXT chapter will be Belfast, and it will be chock full of crazy and amusement the minute they land on foreign soil. Anna gets to see her estranged father for the first time in over almost two decades and not to mention the Belfast chapter and dealing with Gemma in her... odd and uncomfortable situation with Maureen. I hope I hear from you more, thanks for reading and for the awesome insight! (By the way I was missing Tig big time in this chapter). **

**Slytherin Studios:**** Thanks for dropping a note, I'm happy you still have time to read even though I'm convinced you work for the Deadliest Warrior and you're probably busy simulating fights between SOA and Pirates or something like that. Thanks so much for reading and following!**

**ILoveAnime89:**** One update coming right up! Thanks so much for following and I hope you like this chapter too!**

**Venetiangrl92:**** I was probably screaming at the screen right along with you. OOO did he make me mad, I actually threw a pillow at the screen! BUT they sort of made up in this chapter, there is a lot of history between Jax and Anna that I love exploring. I kinda wish that there actually would be an image that existed of a fifteen year old Jax with a wee little Anna laying on his chest, both sound asleep. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, I always smile when I see that notification from your user name.**

**Guest1:**** First, thank you so much for the long and very insightful review! I love hearing how my awesome readers feel about scenes that pass, and you certainly let me in on a lot, and made me laugh a couple of times. I'm sure if the plane had a kitchen, Anna would have made a seven course meal by the time the thing with Happy ended. He's making her spin in directions she didn't know existed! **

**And yea I was in tears big time as I wrote the part about Anna and Gem, though she's definitely a lot happier that Gemma's there with her now! Though I think both Anna and I miss Tig a little a lot. **

**For the record, the only reason I forgave Jax after being mad at him all over again with the last chapter was because this scene turned out adorable. I can just picture a little Anna with blonde curls everywhere (think a blonde version of Merida from 'Brave') all tucked on his chest sound asleep. Anna was a lot softer with Jax than I would have been. If I was there, the room would be filled with expletives and pillows being thrown. **

**And as for Belfast, definitely stick around and check out what happens. It wasn't my favorite part of the season either, but I will admit it my mouth dropped open in that scene where Gemma snapped at the Catholic Baby Nursery. That scary and badass all at once. I'm gonna stop myself before I give too much away! I hope I hear from you again, your review was awesome and I would love to hear more of your thoughts! I always love hearing if readers see things similar or different than I do. Thanks again!**

**Guest2: Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you like it! I hope you like this update as well!**

**otte1978:**** Congratulations, I'm pretty sure you're the first person that pointed out that Anna IS fitting into Gemma's roll. She will never fit into it the way Tara did at the end of Season 4, but in a way Gemma is grooming her. She wants Anna to be a comfort to the guys, yet at the same time be that rock that occasionally gives them the push they need, and to eventually be a good Old Lady, despite Anna's insistence that she could never fall into that roll. And you were spot on, in this chapter Happy and Anna DID fight... just not in the usual way. There's a lot of subtext in Happy's words, and once Anna bakes up a storm to think about it, it should be interesting to see what she concludes. Those two will probably always fight, but as this chapter showed, they're just as quick to make up with each other.**

**JJ-Jefferu:**** I really can't tell you enough how much I love your feedback, doesn't matter when it comes, I just love hearing from you. When I started this story, I had never written a story in first person point of view before, which I quickly learned is so much more difficult for me than third person point of view, but we all know what a lot of the characters did and thought, so I wanted a fresh take on everything. I feel relieved that I captured the heart of the characters through an OC's eyes! Here's another Happy and Anna moment, please let me know what you think, and thanks so SO much for reading! Stay tuned for Belfast in the next chapter!**

**wrestlenascargirl:**** You have NO idea how much I cried in that episode where Gemma got all emotional about going to jail and sounded so small and vulnerable, which is nothing like her. Thank you so much for reading and a BIG thanks for taking the time to leave me feedback. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, and hold tight for Belfast!**

**go4itgirl:**** Sorry it took a wee bit longer to update than I though, I wrote way too much without realizing it. Thank you so much for reading and I really appreciate you taking the time to drop me a review! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well and stick around for Belfast, I promise it will be interesting. The next chapter should be up soon, and I hope to hear from you again!**

**Rozale:**** Wow your excitement is infectious! Tig is my personal favorite, and Happy and Anna was not something I expected upon initially writing this story but I really love how it's turning out. I'm so happy you took the time to read the story (I know I write a lot) and I hope this chapter makes you just as excited!**

**Thanks you everyone for reading, and hang tight for the next chapter, it's going to be very interesting. **


	16. The Rocky Road to Belfast

"Should I be worried that both of you are sitting across from each other both holding a gun?" Juice said, stretching and cracking his back. "I said the same thing," Opie added, sipping some of the coffee I packed away in one of those large thermoses that keep drinks warm for hours. Everyone was slowly waking up now that we had about two hours of flight time left, and I hadn't moved from my spot across from Happy, now helping him pack the guns away in the proper bags since we finished cleaning and loading them.

Happy had a slight smirk on his face, glancing at me for a brief moment. "Na, I ain't gonna waste bullets on her, they're too expensive," he said smoothly, tucking away a case of bullets into one of the bags.

"Or you know, the fact that we're on a plane and its usually not a good idea to shoot a gun when you're thousands of feet in the air. Just saying." My eyes didn't stray from carefully packing the bullets away, but my tone was playful. I couldn't really blame them, since Happy and I hadn't been able to be in the same space without completely ignoring each other or throwing insults for... well since I met him. Even though I was used to the fast paced change that came with the outlaw biker life, it was still a little mind boggling that I went from hating Hap to making out with him in the course of only a few days. It was like a bad soap opera, except worse cause I couldn't exactly switch to another channel.

Okay, maybe not that bad, but that's how I felt. I was never one for hooking up, hell I was practically a prude. I had only one real boyfriend in my whole life, and I didn't sleep with him until a year and a half into the relationship. And before we were even together exclusively we were dating for a couple of months, never going further than a light make-out session. I was cautious with relationships, and my mom raised me to place high standards on myself. I suppose it might seem unnatural to most people that a girl that grows up in the biker world would be so prudish, but it was probably because of growing up around a bunch of Outlaw Bikers that I held those standards for myself.

I had seen too many women give themselves up to the guys and get zero respect from them. They found themselves in positions of sweetbutts rather than Ol' Ladies like many of them wanted to be. Tara got Jax because despite her little attitude in her badass days, she wouldn't give Jax any more than a taste, driving him crazy and making him chase her and work for her more than he ever had for any other girl. That was what hooked him, and what held him for years. I remembered Tara when her and Jax met differently than Gemma did. I hated her later on for breaking Jax's heart, but I looked up to her big time when they started dating. From when I was about five to eight years old, I thought Tara was the coolest girl ever.

As much as I looked up to Gemma and my mom, Tara and Donna were the older girls that I would look at in complete awe. Donna was Tara's opposite in many ways. She would babysit me all the time when my mom would go away with the club sometimes, and I really adored her. She was quiet, came from one of those strict Christian households, and she was so much fun. Donna was amazing in how at ease she felt around Outlaw bikers, and despite being on the quiet side, she was fiercely independent and also had a very strict moral code for herself. When Opie came back after his mom took him away, he fell hard for her too. Given all that, I never hesitated to set strict standards with how far I am willing to go with guys inside and outside a relationship. The girls that got the permanent status with SOA members were the ones that held themselves differently than the rest, and that's what I wanted too.

Honestly though, I knew so much about all the men that surrounded me that I doubted I would ever see them as anything other than family. Well, not all of them, the only thing I knew about Happy was all through things I heard whispered among the girls and some things that Tig slipped out casually. I knew from the grapevine that he had a tattoo of a happy face for every kill he made for the club, I knew he was big on being neat, and, courtesy of Tig, that his mother was sick in a hospice and most of his funds went to her care. That's all I knew though, and I never bothered to learn more until the other night. I'll say this though, his mom must be one hell of a woman to raise someone like Happy. I couldn't even imagine what he was like as a kid.

I swatted a curly strand that escaped from my messy bun away, sitting quietly and watching the previously quiet space on the plane come to life as all the guys slowly woke up. I got up from my spot to go over and set out coffee for the guys and some sandwiches for the guys on some of the crates. "Okay, milk is in the black thermos and half and half is in the blue. Sugar is in this container," I held up the small red plastic container filled to the brim with the organic cane sugar Bobby insisted on buying for everyone.

Jax was stretching and putting away the cot that we were sleeping on, and I immediately grabbed a foam cup and started making him coffee the way I knew he liked it. He was a black coffee and sugar man, whereas I liked my coffee with half and half.

"Hey," I handed Jax his coffee and slid down the wall to stand next to him, cradling the steaming hot coffee in my cold hands between my pulled up knees. "Thanks for the hoodie, it kept me from turning into an icicle." Jax smiled slightly and sipped his coffee. "You were shivering in your sleep. Had to keep my nap buddy warm." I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. "You always take care of me." He put his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder while holding the coffee in the other hand. "Take it you ain't mad at me anymore?"

A sigh escaped me as I shook my head. "No. I'm not. Just... I worry for you Jax. You take care of everyone, and beat yourself up way too much." I tilted my chin up at him, smiling softly when I looked at his face. "It will work out, and I'm not just telling you that to make you feel better, it _has_ to work out. Everyone will make it happen that the next time we're on a plane, it will be with Abel in your arms. You really think Gemma did all she did just to come home without him?" Jax scoffed, shaking his head in exasperation. "Still can't believe she did that... Thanks darlin'." Jax kissed my forehead and squeezed my shoulder affectionately.

We sat together like that for awhile, watching Chibs give Bobby a hard time about how the 'health crap' didn't help his belly. These guys cracked me up. "Eat up you two," Gemma tossed each of us a wrapped sandwich. "We got way more to travel, and Clay said we're not making any unnecessary stops."

It was so good to see my godmother looking much more relaxed and like herself, even if it might only be temporary. "I ate already Gem. How much longer will the ride be from Manchester to Belfast?" I handed my sandwich over to Jax, who released me from his hold to eat the sandwiches. "Should be about six hours. We're both riding with the Belfast Sons in the van while the guys ride on the loaners." Gemma looked anxious about it, but who could blame her, I was nervous as hell.

Mainly because my father would be there. What do you say to a man that left his family behind because he couldn't hack it? I barely remembered him, and frankly didn't care to know him any better than I did now. I was raised by the best possible people, growing up with Piney as my father figure and many other men that stepped up to never let me, my brother, or my mother ever feel alone. As far as I was concerned, it was like I was meeting him for the first time than reuniting. I didn't grow up with daddy issues or anything like that, I was perfectly fine without him.

Yet I was still jumpier than I probably should have been, and I didn't exactly know why either.

The captain of the plane announced that we would be landing in a hour and a half and to prepare for landing. I immediately got up and started packing up the food and getting everything in order before I got myself in order. I didn't have any makeup on other than lip balm and mascara, and I wanted to look a bit nicer when meeting the Belfast SOA. After all, I figured if the women associated with the Mother Chapter looked good, it couldn't hurt their image.

"Bah, England ain't worth wastin' a breath on," Chibs spat in disgust when the captain announced we were flying over the English countryside. "The land be as rotten as the people. Ireland is where the real beauty is." The Irish Catholic loyalty was still strong in Chibs despite being kicked out of the IRA. I was about seven or eight when Chibs came to Charming, and I remembered hearing my mom and Gemma talk about him.

I completely blame Chibs for the reason that English accents never appealed to me.

Just like earlier, I rested my head on Opie's arm during the landing, tightening my hold as I felt the drop lower to the ground. I was wearing my leather jacket now, and put my hair down and misted my curls with water to tame them. Honestly though, I missed Jax's hoodie.

"Well, first half of the journey is over. Remember what I said earlier, we're gonna be good guests for our brothers in Belfast, but I want everyone's guard up. Ya here?" Everyone gave an affirmative response to Clay. He looked seriously bugged about the possibility of there being a rat within the Belfast chapter, but who could blame him really. Nothing good ever comes when there may be a rat in the club.

I stared out the window during the landing, noticing right off that it looked dreary and grey, nothing like dry, sunny California. It reminded me of Boston in October. I had only gone there once with Dante for his family reunion, and I didn't care for the weather in the least bit. It was cold, and raining, and you couldn't take three steps without feeling the bitter wind outside. England looked the same, but I would deal. I packed a good deal of warmer clothes just for the occasion.

The first sight we were greeted with when we walked out into the chilly English air was a bunch of motorcycles and a large black van already waiting for us, along with a group of bikers wearing the SOA Belfast Cuts. It was funny, I grew up around bikers and was surrounded by them for 95% of my life and yet I still felt that _tiny_ bit of intimidation whenever we met with a different chapter. It never lasted, usually disappeared the moment I saw Clay and Jax greet them warmly, followed by the rest of the guys.

"It's good to see you Luthor," Clay clapped the shorter man on the back. "Thanks for comin' out for us." Luthor had a lighter air about him compared to the stoicism his brothers projected. "No thanks needed, you needed loaners an' escorts to get ye up to Belfast." Oh how I love Irish accents.

"We uh, got an extra person in the count." Clay put his arm around Gemma's shoulders, bringing her close. "My wife, Gemma. Also means that you got an extra bike with no rider." I frowned, instantly missing Tig. "This is Anna, Gemma's goddaughter." I stepped forward on cue and smiled politely. Luthor looked me up and down, scrutinizing me and nodded in my direction with a smile.

"Probably be best if the ladies ride in the van with us. We ain't in any immediate danger, but in our line of work ya can't take those kinda chances." Luthor looked at Clay saying all this. Ultimately, he and Jax had the say on where Gemma and I went for our safety. This wasn't exactly a vacation touring Europe. I trusted the guys to take care of me, and I would do anything for them.

"Alright then." Clay looked over at Gemma and I, nodding his confirmation. The other from SAMBEL were securing all our bags on top of a large black van. "Declan! Get the girls over to the van, and tell Martin to take a bike and lead with Dovey." Luthor called over a tall, dark haired guy with a wide muscular build and attractive light brown eyes.

"Aye, ladies follow me then," Declan said, leading Gemma and I to the van as orders were shouted back and forth. I looked back, catching Happy's eye briefly before looking away to watch where I was going. Thank God Gemma was here with me, it put me more at ease to be around the guys that looked to my father as a leader. For all I knew though, they didn't even know who I was, which was what I preferred.

Declan opened the door of the van, gesturing inside. "We got room for about one of ye in here comfortably. Both of ye could probably squeeze in, but we got a six hour ride ahead, might not be the best choice. There be plenty o' room in da back though." It took me a minute to remember that cars in the UK had the passengers side on the left rather than the right.

Gemma and I exchanged a glance. "You go up front Gem," I said automatically. Gem was Clay's wife's, there was no situation where it was right for her to sit in the back with the other members of SAMBEL while I got the comfortable seat up front. It would be disrespectful and just wrong. "Alright Darlin', but you make sure to sit right behind the driver alright?" I nodded, watching her climb in and open her purse to touch up her makeup.

"C'mon Lass, ye can sit right up before the rest o' them," Declan smiled at me when he helped me into the back of the van. Oh yea, he's a charmer with the ladies, how could he not be with that smile and those gorgeous light hazel eyes. I suppose that it was also because I was a sucker for the Irish Accent. _Like Mother, like Daughter I guess._ I had to hold back my cringe at that thought.

"Fix your makeup baby. Put on some lipstick or something more than just the mascara you wear. Remember, you got an image to uphold, make the club proud of their women." Gemma's eyes met mine in the mirror. "You ready? Keith knows you're coming, he'll probably want to talk or something." At this point, I wanted to face him just to get it over with, cause the nerves were starting to get to me. "Talk about what? I'll be surprised if he even recognizes me. I told you before, he may be my birth father, but that's it. We're not going to have some 'Full House' hug and rebuild relationship crap. It's unrealistic, and frankly I don't want to hear it. I won't show any open disrespect to him or embarrass the club, but I won't give him the time that he never gave me." I kept my voice even as I picked a soft pink nude lipstick to appease Gemma as the sound of bags being throw on the roof echoed throughout the van.

Gemma scoffed. "You look too much like your mom for him to not recognize you. You'll probably only add to the stirring up of past shit. Just don't lose your head, and don't let the guys lose focus either. Irish pussy seems to be a favorite with our men," she spat the last part out bitterly, making me pause my lipstick application and look at her. She offered no explanation, and I knew better to push her.

Just as I put away my makeup, SAMBEL members started climbing into the car while the air filled with the roar of Harley's coming to life. "Mornin' Ladies, get comfortable." he said, slamming the door behind him. "We're meeting McGee and O'Neill and a couple of others in about three hours." Something about Luthor seriously reminded me of Juice. The sun hadn't even risen yet, and I felt wide awake, though I was pretty sure by the time we arrived I would be feeling the jet lag big time. Declan slid right across from me, followed by the rest of the members of SAMBEL.

"So yer McGee's little girl then eh?" The clean shaven, dark haired biker sitting next to me was looking me up and down. "I can't believe it, his ugly mug couldn' have any part in makin' ye." The other guys chuckled, leaving me shrugging politely with a smile. Guess they did know who I was then.

"Leave the lass alone Murph." Luthor said from his seat by the van's door. "Ye all gotta keep yer eyes open and searching. Ya heard what McGee said, we gotta be on alert. We got enough enemies to keep our guard at all times, more so now with our brothers from Charming in company." Wow, that dude didn't mess around at all.

Talk was kept at a minimal after that. SAMBEL members seemed so different compared to my guys. They were more serious in general, though I wondered if it was because they were just on guard. Murphy reminded me a little of Tig with his sense of humor, pointing out how I was the only tanned person in Ireland, and making several sexist jokes that made me laugh. Jameson, who sat across from me, was perhaps the most handsome man from the entire club that I had seen so far. He had light brown hair, a strong, defined jawline, and incredibly light blue eyes that rivaled Tig's. He was also the most serious of the bunch though, not saying much other than a couple of words to Luthor.

Brady said he was from Scotland, and was even in the same neighborhood where Chibs was from. That's how he heard of the club to begin with. They talked among themselves mostly, but made small talk with me. Declan and I ended up talking the most, mainly cause he was sitting right across from me, but mostly about cars. He was a street racer back in the day and a car enthusiast, and I was telling him all about my Firebird, and about the racing world in Fresno, leaving out the part that I was no longer apart of that world.

"There is NO way a '65 T-bird has a chance against a '67 Firebird. The body of the Firebird is more dynamic and the original parts make it a monster on the blacktop. Only thing that can top it is a Trans-Am, but again, that's with original parts," I argued passionately, defending my car against whatever prejudice that Declan had against Pontiacs.

"Nay Lass, the Thunderbird has power that could easily outlast both those cars. Especially as a manual car handled by a good mechanic," Declan seemed more amused by how enraged I was getting over this than anything else.

"How can you even THINK that? YOU are delusional. I don't know what kind of cars you Irish get, but if they were original muscle you would NEVER say that if you were ever behind the wheel of an original." I crossed my arms pointedly, at the time not noticing how most of the car was silent and watching the back and forth between Declan and I.

Declan raised his eyebrow, scoffing at me. "Any car can be made powerful if yar a good mechanic, but the Thunderbird has best original parts to work with. Pontiac cars are nought but a sad copy of the Thunderbirds. Ya can't modify a Pontiac car to be half as powerful as a Ford and ye know it."

"You're out of your mind. Thunderbirds are great cars, that was my first car, but it has NOTHING on a Firebird. The body is too heavy, the engine has too much maintenance issues and you are too pigheaded to admit that." I poked him in the shoulder as I spoke to emphasize my point.

"Yer a bloody woman, what do ya know?" He said with a snort, rolling his eyes at me.

"A lot more than you! And I don't cop out of the argument by being an ass and pointing out your gender, thank you very much!" This guy was ridiculous frustrating, and was getting me riled up over a simple argument.

The van was silent for a moment, and then Murphy snorted in laughter. Declan cracked a smile and a couple of chuckles ran out throughout the van. Gemma was even smiling, which is a rare thing for her these days.

I looked around at all of them in turn, coming back to Declan. "You were just trying to get a rise out of me this whole time weren't you?" Declan shrugged his shoulders, still smirking. "I don't like you," I said while turning away and trying to hide a smile. Declan starting laughing and put his arm around me. "Aw come now lass, it's all in good fun eh?" I tried to hide my smile by turning my head away, which only made him laugh more.

Okay, I liked them. They definitely intimidated me more, but that was probably because I didn't know them. Declan and Murphy seemed a bit more laid back, but the others had these stoic demeanors that even when they cracked a smile or chuckle at me getting riled up, it didn't have the heart that I was used to seeing from my guys. Gemma had told me that the boys in SAMBEL were on the front lines, and risked their necks every second of the day with the way things were in Belfast. I suppose it was only natural that they didn't allow themselves much time to be at ease, especially on the road.

"We should be meetin' up with McGee and O'Neil soon, then we got to go through checkpoint and we'll be alright," Luthor announced about two hours later. The van had been silent for some time, save for a few of the guys talking softly to one another. I was struggling not to fall asleep again, but the wave of nerves from Luthor's announcement had me sitting up again.

Everyone in the car stayed quiet, looking out at the road and tensed up in anticipation for anything ahead while Luthor kept the van a good distance away from the guys on the bikes. I tugged on my curls in anticipation and bit my lip, looking out the windshield at the road ahead.

Finally, I saw a group of bikes resting in the middle of the road ahead, and the guys slow down. Luthor stopped the car a good distance away, and we all watched in silence while the members of SAMCRO and SAMBEL greeted each other. It didn't take me long to recognize McGee. He was still the tallest from the group, almost the same height as Tig, but he aged big time, I could tell that even from a distance. It was hard to make out his features, but I remembered enough from the pictures my mom kept around.

Inhaling sharply, it was almost painful to force the nerves back, but I did. I watched calmly as Chibs seemed to greet each of the members personally. He must be insanely happy to be back home and even more at the prospect of seeing his family. For a good portion of yesterday, all he did was talk about how excited he was to see his girls. It broke my heart that Chibs had to be away from them. He kept a picture of Fiona and of his daughter as a baby in his locker, and my goal was to get a more current picture of and his girls so could add that to his locker.

"Won't be long now till we're home." Luthor said while driving forward along the hills, looking more at ease than he was earlier. These guys were intense, which was surprising cause from what Chibs told me SAMBEL knew how to throw some crazy parties that made some of the SAMCRO parties 'look like bloody tea parties." as Chibs had said.

The van stopped when we saw a road block up ahead by what looked like police officers. Oh man, I didn't have a good feeling about this at all.

"What the hell is that?" Gemma said, the uneasiness in her voice reverberated against the metal walls of the van.

"Police Services of Northern Ireland. As long as they got ID they should be okay. Out here they ain't gonna bother puttin' any influence upon." Luthor didn't seem all that uneasy, but the tension in the van rose like crazy. I guess I wasn't the only one with a really bad feeling about this.

You could hear a pin drop in the van when we had all stopped and watched police officers walk up to the guys. Gemma visibly tensed when she saw all our guys singled out and pull their passports. "This is bad," she said, not taking her eyes off the guys. The nerves forming in the pit of my stomach were steadily rising as I gripped the back of Luthor's seat.

The atmosphere in the car tensed all that much more when the police had pointed guns at all our guys and forced the on the floor."That don't make sense, they wouldn' be able to get the intel, not that quick," Luthor said suspiciously. The rest of the guys stayed silent, watching and waiting for further instructions, and probably trying to figure out what to do. Gemma looked like she was going to be sick.

My hand flew to my mouth at the small squeak of horror that escaped me when the officer hit Chibs to the ground, and the guys jumped in to defend their brother. "Shit!" I said, completely terrified that this was all happening. "What are they going to do to them?" My lips trembled as I watched each of my guys be forced into the van. An painful surge went through my stomach as I watched them push Happy into the back of the truck.

"Where are they gonna take them?!" Gemma looked just as horrified as I did. "Jesus, after that ruckus, they'll probably just shoot an' dump 'em. Blame it on the life," Luthor said, exasperation and confusion heavy in his tone.

"And what we're just going to sit here and let them drive away?! That's bull!" I practically yelled, completely terrified I would be losing my guys when we JUST got here.

"No we're not. Step on the gas," Gemma commanded Luthor. Oh shit, I knew my Godmother well enough to know what she was picturing. And it was brilliant

"What?"

"This is our only chance, step on the damn gas!" I yelled in desperation now, knowing this was our best hope.

"You heard the ladies Luthor." Declan growled, catching on.

"I ain't gonna broadside no police-"

"RUN THEM OFF THE ROAD!" Gemma pushed herself practically on his lap and the tires squealed as she took over the wheel and stepped on the gas.

"Jesus, Mother of God!" Luthor yelled as my Godmother took the van from 0 to 60 in only a couple of seconds. "You're out your bloody mind woman!" I held on to the back of Luthor's seat as best I could with the swerving of the van, the rest of the guys had their grips on the van wall.

"HOLY SHIT!" Luthor yelled as the van slammed the breaks after the police truck skidded off the road and into a rock. The impact was rough, my body lurched forward and I felt two arms grab me from behind and felt my body being thrown back and slammed into a hard chest. "Jesus Christ!" I was out of breath, and damn grateful that Murphy had grabbed me in time to keep me from being injured. I vowed then and there to stop taking seat belts for granted.

"Go, go!" I yelled, scrambling out to get up and out of the van. Brady kicked open the latch on the back door and all the guys scrambled to get out, guns already drawn. I reached on the inside of my jacked and drew out my trusty Beretta. The guys shouting was just barely heard over the shot, and I ran, gun out, straight to the police truck that held my guys.

"Keys! Keys!" someone yelled behind me, and the younger man that Chibs had been hugging earlier rushed ahead of me to the drivers side of the van, wrenching open the door and reaching in. I didn't even pay attention to the fact that my father was holding the door open with the gun pointed toward the cops in the van.

"Here," the younger man tossed me a small set of keys. "Those will get 'em out of the cuffs." I caught the keys easily and ran to the back of the truck just as Declan and Murphy threw the police officers out of the truck to the ground. "Get them out, move it!" Gemma yelled. Now that was the cool and controlled godmother I knew and loved. She knew how to take control of a situation like nobodies business.

Once I saw Clay and Jax step out, I realized just how hard my heart beat in my chest. I went right over to Jax, keys in hand and went behind him to undo the cuffs. "Holy shit," he muttered, shaking out his hands once they were free from the cuffs. Without a care, I threw my arms around Jax, quickly squeezing him tight. "Some start huh?" I muttered into his chest. He patted my back quickly before I released him to get the others out of their cuffs.

"Thanks Darlin'," Chibs said, rubbing his hands and winking at me. "Always said that SAMCRO had some good women." The adrenaline rush was leaving me now, and I felt this intense sense of relief. It was strange, all this felt new to me, yet I had been around the club in crazy situations since I was little. Though now that I thought about it, this was the first time that I was acting as a more than a kid caught in the action. When we were still having trouble with the Mexicans, whenever something bad happened at the clubhouse, my mom or Gemma or Jax or even one of the Croweaters would usher me away and try and shield me from it. It was a whole different story for me now, I was right in the action, worrying and doing all I can to take care of the guys just like Gemma and my mom did. Man, no wonder Gemma was as tough as nails.

The guys were free from the cuffs in no time and I stood on the side by Gemma and Happy. At this point, I had no idea when I would stop feeling like I was being torn in ten different directions when I was around Happy. One thing above all was that when I stood there next to him, watching Clay, Jax, and Chibs take turns 'interrogating' the police officers, I realized that I felt much safer than I ever thought I would next to him. That was bizarre, considering how many times that he came close to throttling me.

"Hap," Jax called out. "Kill one of his men." Oh damn, they weren't playing around.

"Oh yes I will." He was livid from the very obvious set up, I saw that the moment I took off his cuffs. I never realized just how much restraint Happy had on his anger before. He probably wanted to put a bullet in every single one of them, but he didn't cause he wasn't ordered to act. That was impressive, I doubted I had that much restraint.

I didn't flinch once while Happy had the guy on the ground, gun to the temple and ready to kill. It wasn't like I saw this kind of stuff on a daily basis, but I had seen enough to stay calm and not get in the way. Besides, now that the relief of the guys being safe passed, anger slowly seeped in, only heightening when the police officer admitted to being paid off to get rid of the guys. We all knew it was Jimmy who paid them off, there was no one else with enough reason to not want SAMCRO to come to Belfast.

After Clay had pulled their IDs, he ordered everyone to leave first and leave the officers, many bloodied and still tied up. I walked with Gemma back to the van and climbed back sitting in Declan's old seat, directly behind Gemma. A long breath escaped me when I leaned my head against the back of Gemma's headrest. She reached back and stroked my curls gently. "We got through this one baby girl, just like we'll get through the rest of the shit that comes up." I nodded, sitting up straighter when the rest of the guys started climbing in.

"Alright then, assumin' we don't have any more excitement on the road, we should be in Belfast in about two and half hours or so," Luthor said, slamming the door behind him. Everyone seemed a bit calmer now that all that was over with, but I noticed a few of them kept their guns in their hands.

"So love, how ye likin' Ireland?" Murphy asked me, with a slight smirk.

The look I gave him had him laughing out loud. This was just the start of the trip, I couldn't imagine what else was in store for us.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

**Okay, before you all get mad at me about breaking a promise of having an update out, hear me out. First the screen on my laptop broke because my guy's friend accidentally sat on it. Based on his size, I was lucky that was all that broke. So I had to wait a week and a half to get a new screen and for my guy to fix it. Then, just as I was finishing my story and getting ready to post it two weeks ago, I got a blue screen. I'm technologically pathetic, so I had to give my precious four year old laptop to be fixed so I don't lose all my information. I just got it back this past Sunday, and have been working like mad to back up all the notes and work I put into this story on Dropbox, so I never risk losing it again.**

**On the bright side, my laptop is working like new, and I was able to finish all this today. I so wanted to have a chapter out before the new season started, but that wasn't going to happen. Speaking of the season premiere, HOLY CRAP! That was the craziest premiere in the whole show! I was crying to the point of sobbing for poor Tig. Even now talking about it makes me tear up. And tonight is the second episode, and Kurt Sutter never fails to amaze and shock.**

**Thank you to everyone who favorited and subscribed to this story, I hope you enjoy the update and this time I promise one next week cause its saved and I can work on it while at work, since I have Dropbox there too. **

**Now for my wonderful reviewers, you guys are really awesome, thanks so much for giving me incentive and pleasure in writing this story.**

**Slytherin Studios:**** Yea, the drawing on Juice's face thing cracked me up. Anna would never, but I probably would. It was a tradition among my friends if one of us was passed out when we were all together. Not gonna lie, I woke up with a sharpie mustache drawn on me more than once. NOT cool haha. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm so sorry for the long wait for this one. Thanks for reading and your feedback, I always look forward to it.**

**go4itgirl:**** Happy is one of those people that can communicate a lot with one look, at least that's what I always thought. Not obvious mind you, but the kind of guy that can get his point across just by giving someone a look. Anna on the receiving end of it was funny to write. Honestly, I think Happy knows what he would wants more than Anna, he's too sure of himself not to. Anna on the other hand is being thrust in a new situation and being forced to grow in ways that she wasn't. I'm excited to see where she ends up. Thank you so much for reviewing, I love hearing from you and again, I am so sorry for the wait. I promise it won't be this bad next time.**

**AngieInWonderland:**** Seriously, your insights blow me away sometimes and your reviews make my day! Not going to lie, it was strange writing Anna out of her element, but amusing too. I agree with pretty much everything you said about how her and Hap relate to each other and how Anna is treading carefully. Like I mentioned in this chapter, she realized just how much more involved she's become in the club than she ever was before. With the threat of Gemma being put in prison, she had to step up, and as a result is growing in her actions and beliefs. It wasn't like she had an adjustment period, so I think it will be awhile for her to settle into her new roll. Next chapter is when she really meets her father instead of just being in his presence, and even I am nervous to write that. It made me really wish that Tig was there for her, cause that guy is just amazing. Then again, they all are, I'm so attached to these characters like you wouldn't believe. (You can only imagine how season 4 was like for me. SO painful) Jax is a good guy, he was from the start and he will be to the end, and his and Anna's brother/sister relationship allows me to explore a different side of him. I too was gushing slightly picture a tiny Anna napping on his chest haha. Thank you so SO much for reading and for these awesome reviews, and I hope to hear your opinion on this chapter too. I promise the next one won't be such a long wait.**

**MUW D'Bellgirl:**** I always get so excited when I get a new reviewer. I'm so glad you liked this story and I hope you like this chapter as well. I promise I won't make you wait for long for the next chapter (I'm antcipating finishing it too). Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review!**

**SilverAdvenger12:**** I can't even begin telling you how sorry I am for delaying the update. You are one of my favorite reviewers and I was so upset for disappointing you. It's like I had a month that had a string of bad luck for any technology I came in touch with. My phone and my laptop both had problems. Thank you for bearing with me and I promise you won't have to deal with this again, if not for a long while. On that note, thank you for being awesome and reviewing. I'm missing Tig like crazy, but it's fun to write Anna and Happy interactions. Every time I write them, I like him more than I did before. I'm so happy you relate to Anna so well, that was my goal in creating her. I never liked the stories where the OCs were either complete Mary Sue's or had too many perfect tendencies. I'll take my crazy, confused, and wild Anna any day. Belfast becomes real next chapter, as well as Anna's meeting with her dad. Don't worry, you'll see it soon. Thank you again for being an awesome reader and your patience with me, you rock!**

**ILoveAnime89****: I'm so glad you like it! I will have the next chapter up soon, probably by next week. Thanks so much for sticking with the story and taking the time to review!**

**Venetiangrl92:**** Ah you rock, thanks so much for bearing with me as I write this story. Jax and Anna have an adorable relationship, I love writing it. Thanks so much for being a loyal reviewer and reader, and I promise to have something up soon! It will be the official meeting with her father next, so that's going to be a trip to write.**

**wrestlenascargirl:**** Yea, those scenes with Happy and Jax and Anna were great visuals for me. Since Anna and Jax grew up together it makes picturing those moments all that much better. I'm glad you like the chapter and thanks so much for always giving me feedback, it makes me so happy.**

**Rozale:**** So SO glad you liked the chapter, I hope this one makes you happy as well. Belfast was one hell of a ride. Another update will be up soon so stay tuned! **

**otte1978:**** Anna's inner monologue is always fun to write, especially when I can put myself in her head for awhile. I'm glad you liked it, and I hope this will satisfy you till the next update. Thanks so much for reviewing!**

**PrincessProse:**** First off, I LOVE your username, that's so clever. I am really happy that you liked the chapter, and I promise the wait won't be long at all for the next one. Thanks so much for your review and for reading!**

** :**** Ah I love new reviewers, and I again am sorry for the wait, I love writing it but my computer had a problem with it. Ugh. No worries, the next chapter will be out soon and I'm glad you're excited, I love hearing from readers! **

**Skylark Potter:**** Thanks for the feedback, I love hearing from my readers and I'm always thrilled when I get new readers. I hope you like this chapter as well, thanks so much for reading!**

**Thanks again everyone for bearing with me and my issues with technology. The next chapter should be up by latest next week if not at the end of the week. Hope everyone enjoys tonight's SOA episode (I'm bouncing all over the place)**

**Till next time,**

**Daria**


	17. Babel

Belfast was much different than I expected it to be. After driving through the green lush rolling hills of Ireland, I expected Belfast to hold that same sort of beauty. The sight I was met with was grimy city streets, factories on every corner, buildings littered with graffiti, and the distinct city smell. It was more like Boston than anything else, but I saw the charm in it. The buildings were old and well maintained, some of the streets were still paved with cobblestones and the look of the various shops we passed made you feel like you stepped back in time.

Okay, so it wasn't picturesque, but it was nice in it's own way. I took in as much as I could through the front window as Luthor drove steadily to our destination. It had an Old World feel about it that I could appreciate, but I was a small town girl at the core of it. I liked L.A when I lived there for four years, it was fun and fast paced, but nothing beat that feeling of driving through the quaint streets of Charming, where everything from the corner ice cream parlor to the crack in the sidewalks just radiated the feeling of home, wrapping you up in it like a warm blanket.

Belfast was not home, that was for sure.

We pulled into a lot where 'Ashby Alley' was spray painted on a fading red brick wall. Ashby... I knew that name. OH wait, Maureen Ashby. Oh boy here comes that uneasy feeling again. Gemma practically spat the woman's name out as it is, and I knew that she was married to my father. Something about the whole situation seemed so off, but I had a feeling I would never know all the details. For that matter, that was probably for the better.

Whistling and cheers from the waiting members erupted all around us as we pulled in. "Alright Ladies, this is yer stop." Luthor pulled the van over. The back doors opened and the guys piled out, with me the last one out. "Out ya go lass," Murphy grabbed my waist, lifted me up and placed me on the ground. Ah so that's the whole Irish gentleman thing I'd been hearing about. "Thanks!" I smiled and winked at Murphy, who winked back. I was really starting to like these Irish Boys.

All the guys were greeting their brothers, and though none of them ever met, the atmosphere was one of a reunion. I knew better than to intrude, that was why I stood next to Gemma. She was perpetually tense, surveying the area coolly behind her sunglasses until they stopped and focused on one particular sight. I followed the direction of her gaze, where a blonde frail looking woman walked out with a much younger girl. She looked younger than me, at most eighteen, but there was something that instantly struck me as familiar when I looked at her, and I had no idea what.

Jax and Clay started walking toward the two women, Gemma and I following them. "Well, welcome!" Maureen clasped her hands for a moment before extending them, first of course to Clay, who greeted her in turn, as did Jax.

When Maureen looked at me, she paused for a brief moment, her eyes lingering on my face. It gave me the chance to study the other woman in my father's life for all these years. She was younger than I expected, but her youthful face bared the weight of long lasting troubles. "Anna," she said holding out her hand for me to shake. I politely smiled and shook her hand. It was a little strange how she looked at me like she saw a ghost at some point.

She acknowledged my Godmother, who stood stiff without offering her hand. "Oh, this is my daughter, Trinity." To my surprise, Gemma actually reached out to shake her hand. We were all eager to hear the news about Abel, Jax more eager than anyone else, naturally. Our arms touched when we stood next to each other, and his muscles were so tense he was practically flexing.

"Didn't expect you to make the trip," Maureen said to Gemma after she sent Trinity away. "Neither did the Feds. Where's my grandson?" She never was one for pleasantries, and with everything that she's been through lately I was surprised she held out this long. The instance she said that, I felt Jax straighten in anticipation next to me. He was so close to getting his son back, that's what was frustrating. To my surprise, I was probably the least tense of the group at the moment.

"Come on upstairs, have a cupppa tea." Maureen's soft Irish accent remained calm and impassive. "I don't want any god damn tea!" Gemma spat. I carefully reached out and squeezed his hand. He didn't loosen his posture, but his arm muscles unclenched enough to let me tuck my hand in his without resistance.

"This is my home Gemma. A wee bit of respect would go a long way." Whoa. Maybe I misjudged the whole frail looking woman thing. Maureen managed to make Gemma back off her aggressive approach by barely raising her voice, and that was not an easy feat. As if the tension wasn't soaking the air already, it went up a tenfold in those few moments where Gemma looked at us for a moment, calculating her next move. Clay and Jax stepped back on this one, they generally let Ol' Ladies handle their own business.

"Got any coffee?"

My posture instantly relaxed, at least things would hopefully be more civil from this point on. Gemma was really amazing, she knew how to put aside her emotions for the sake of civility. Jax squeezed my fingers again before letting go so we could follow Maureen into the family room. I dutifully say next to Gemma, sipping the coffee that was offered and listening to Maureen explain how Abel came to her.

With every detail Maureen revealed about Abel's whereabouts, I studied both Jax and Gemma's faces intently. Jax's face was solid and numb, his signature look as of late, especially in the presence of others. I doubted I could ever describe the pain I felt for Jax. Blood was the only factor that kept him from being that loving brother that every girl wanted, and not sharing blood didn't make a difference in our relationship. I would have given anything to see even a flicker of the boy that would watch Disney movies with me whenever he babysat, the same guy that after my mom died would spend nights at my house, never letting me be alone. It killed me that there was little to nothing that I could do for him.

Gemma on the other hand, she was fierce. I loved and admired her strength, but I worried for her in a whole different way. With everything that had happened to her, she was teetering on the edge. God help the person that stops her from getting to her grandson, because I doubted she'd stand for anyone being in her way.

"He knew we were coming, and we don't exactly have all the time in the world." It was the first time I spoke, cause I really didn't like what I was hearing. The priest that has Abel would find us when he was ready? That was utter shit.

Where's Gemma's assertion of authority came from her fierce strength that just dared someone to mess with, Maureen's authority was much more subtle. She spoke in a soft gentle voice with a firm undertone laced with something I just couldn't put my finger on. And the way she looked at me was like seeing a ghost sometimes. "You have ta have patience dearie. All will be revealed in due time." She wouldn't say anymore, and I bit my tongue.

"Well," Maureen set down her cup of tea and looked around at all of us. "We arranged where ye' would be staying. Clay, the larger bedroom in dormitories will be for you and Gemma. I'll prepare you some clean sheets." She clasped her hands together, looking at me this time. "Anna, you will be staying in Trinity's room. She has a pullout trundle that is quite comfortable. I'll have her take you there when you've gathered your things."

"Thank you." Great, I was going to stay with a girl that my father actually did raise, cause my life just wasn't awkward enough. Of course, I wouldn't dare act anything but thankful.

"Alright then," Clay put out his cigar and stood up. "Let's get ourselves settled. I'll tell McGee to call church in about an hour." I immediately got up and followed Jax and Clay out the door. I didn't want to be too far from them, and frankly I knew I would have minimal contact with my father if I stayed as close to them as possible.

The guys had already taken down the bags, and Bobby and Juice were distributing them to their rightful owners. "Here ya are darlin'," Bobby handed me my large camping bag and I struggled to hold it up. "Thank you." I set it on the ground in the car and reached the top of the pack to take out my purse. It had all the numbers to the guys prepaid cell phone and I wanted to call and check in on Tig. Damn I missed that dude.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I turned around while rummaging through my purse and walked right into someone. Two hands hands had grabbed my arms to steady me. "Dun worry about it lass." Of course, it was my father, why wouldn't it be him at this point? I froze for just a second from being caught off guard, but I immediately gathered my composure and straightened up, my whole form in a stiff stance.

"Christ, ya look so much like your mum." I pressed my purse against my chest unconsciously, forcibly biting my tongue. The look on McGee's face was wistful and adoring, and that made me just a bit uncomfortable. "Almost thought you were her earlier. Cept the eyes, ya got that from my side of the family. Me, my mother and grandmother all got the same eyes."

For years, I had imagined what it would be like to see my father again. Not always or even occasionally, but whenever he was brought up or I came across a picture, I would wonder what it would be like the day I finally saw it. I had no idea how I would feel or even if I did feel anything. Right then when it was finally happening, I had my answer.

Resentment. And lots of it.

He had made a new life for himself here, had a new wife and raised another daughter. His life was all filled out here, and he never made an effort to reach out to his 'other' family. I hated him for that.

Swallowing back the choice words on the tip of my tongue, I swung my purse over my shoulder, fiddling with the strap in nerves. "Yeah I'm told we looked similar."

McGee let go of my arms and just stood there studying me. "God did ya grow. Last time I saw ye, ye were just a wee babe. Now look at ya." The wistfulness was still in his voice, and I still hated it. "Wish I coulda seen ya grow up. Heard nothing but stories."

I raised my eyebrows in annoyance. "Real shame. If you excuse me, I should probably take my stuff up." Civil and detached politeness was probably the best and really the only option I had at the moment.

"Come on Anna, give yer old Da an inch, I been waiting for a chance to see ya again." My whole body tensed up in anger, and I had to start counting backwards from one hundred to not do something to embarrass SAMCRO. "If you excuse me, I really have other duties to attend to."

"I understand yer angry lass. Ya gonna act like I don't exist the whole time yer here?"

"That's the plan." I probably shouldn't have said that, but the bubble of anger was on the verge of bursting at this point and the last thing I wanted to do was make a scene.

"Hey!" I snapped out of the moment between myself and my father to see Opie standing by me, holding my pack and glaring at me. "I got other business than waiting around for you, let's go."

I resisted the urge to grin. "If you excuse me," I said to McGee in a cordial crisp tone before going over to Opie, grabbing his arm and walking in the direction of the shop.

When I was sure that McGee was out of earshot, I allowed myself to smile. "Thank you."

Opie nodded solemnly, glancing down at me. He knew the situation with my dad all too well, and I have to say, it made me smile to know that I could always depend on him. "No problem. We got you, don't worry about that. Just hang in there, we'll keep an eye on him."

It was easy to feel safe and comforted around Opie, all of SAMCRO in general. The world of Outlaws was so closed off that those who were apart of it were protected, and with these men, I had little fear. "Thank you Op, I'll be alright." I squeezed his arm, smiling. "My knight in shining armor as always. What would I do without you?" I teased quietly.

"Probably run your mouth and get yourself in trouble," he shot back, making me laugh. "Where you stayin'?" I directed him to the shop where Trinity was supposed to be. Opie didn't leave my side until he felt I was alright.

I never forgot how lucky I was to have these guys in my life.

**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII**

"So this is the trundle bed. Quite comfortable really, slept on it a few times myself," Trinity said while pulling out a comfortable looking full size bed from under her bed. It was neatly made up, with fresh sheets and a warm comforter.

"I also cleared a space for ye to put your stuff over here." Trinity pointed to a bare corner where I finally set down my things. "Thank you," I said politely, feeling very awkward. This was a rather unique situation, and to be honest I had no idea what to think of Trinity. I was still sizing her up, and it looked like she was doing the same to me.

She nodded her head, clasping her hands in front of her much like her mom did earlier. "The Sons have church soon, and we're making them a dinner tonight. We got a little while before we're needed, I could help you unpack and get settled."

"I think I can handle it," I unzipped my bag and rummaged for a change of clothes.

Trinity plopped on the bed and rested her elbows on her knees. "It might make things a little less awkward for us if we hang out a bit. Least make this trip for ye bearable since we got at least a week together." I paused in my rummaging, surprised and slightly pleased. I didn't expect her blunt observation.

"Okay fine," I grabbed her desk chair and turned it around so I sit on it backwards. "Let's get the awkward stuff over with then. I had no idea that my father had a whole other family here, and though I never knew him, I still resent him for bailing and for starting a whole new family. There. Let me know when it starts getting more bearable." Okay yes, Trinity didn't deserve my attitude, but I was rattled. The whole time before this, I kept telling myself that I wouldn't even care if he was around, but I did care.

Not that my attitude had much of an impact on Trinity, she crossed her arms and squared her shoulders. "He's not my real da. And he's not the best da either. Slaps me and my mum around more than I care to admit. Still, he's a provider. Protects us. I guess I'd be mad if I didn' grow up with no one as well."

Ah yes, I remembered Aaron and Gemma telling me that McGee had an awful temper. I supposed on that note perhaps I shouldn't be so bitter.

Trinity smiled to herself while deep in thought. "Though with the club, it felt like I had several da's."

Now it was my turn to smile. "Yeah, I know the feeling. My Godfather is in the club, and growing up everyone was 'Uncle'. I still call some of them that today by habit."

"Me too! I have ta try so hard not ta do that in public, cause I get the craziest looks!" Both of us grinned, and just like I knew we were gonna be friends.

Mind you, I had never been one to make friends easily, but with Trinity it was a sort of kinship that sparked a friendship. I didn't grow up in what you would call a common situation, and it was rare to find someone that could understand the life, let alone a female.

After that, both of us sort of loosened up and just talked. While I unpacked, she told me about what it was like growing up in SAMBEL. With every exchanged story, the slow forming bond grew, especially when she talked about how others in Belfast looked at her.

"Secondary School was the worst. I had few friends, and all the guys were terrified ta go near me. And the girls, they were the bloody worst!" Trinity was sitting on the bed, looking at some of my clothes. "One group was just awful! Called me a Biker Floosie and all these other names. We were bloody fourteen and they were tellin' the whole school I shagged every member of the club!"

I nodded emphatically, laying out a long sleeved purple shirt for a change of clothes. "It's like you're reading from my diary. I had two female friends all through High School, and the rest of the girls were convinced I was some sort of biker whore and would give me shit all the time. On top of that I couldn't beat them to a pulp like I wanted to cause that would blow back on the club's reputation!"

"Exactly!"

It was amazing how similar some of our experiences were growing up in the club. I learned we were only two years apart, which was probably another addition to why we connected so well. A thought made me giggle. "You know, one of the two girl friends I had is now a croweater. Its so weird to see, but she seems happy."

Trinity looked confused. "A croweater?"

"They're kind of like sweetbutts, but not sleazy. Croweaters are exclusively loyal to SAMCRO. They do whatever they can for the club, and in turn they get protection and any help they need."

"Oh! We have those women as well! Right now they're my only female friends!" She started laughing. "Croweaters, what a name."

"Oh yea?" I looked over at her. "What do you call those women here?"

"Bellhoppers." Now it was my turn to crack up. That was absolutely amazing! I had to tell Tig when I saw him, he'd get a kick out of that. "Seriously who the hell came up with those names?"

For the first time since this trip started, I felt relaxed. Until that moment, I had not realized how desperately I needed a friend. I mean, I had the guys, that I knew, but it wasn't the same sometimes. I couldn't very well talk to them like this, except maybe with Juice, but it still wouldn't be the same. Even with Jen and the rest of the croweaters, they couldn't relate to me on the level that Trinity could.

Trinity was tough, that I could tell right away. We both were haunted by seeing too much in our short lives, no matter how much efforts were put into protecting us. From the way we talked, I knew very little fazed her. Talking to her came easier than it ever did with anyone else that I had met within an hour, and just some of our experiences were so eerily similar. At the risk of sounding cliché, it's like I finally found someone that understood every odd and unique aspect of being growing up as a girl in the club.

An hour and a half later, I was freshly showered, skin lathered in my signature black raspberry vanilla scent and curls soaked in conditioner and drying naturally. Trinity had to go back to the store and most of the guys were at church. Juice and Happy were on watch, and I was happily putting together some meatloaf sandwiches for them. It gave me a chance to let everything sink in.

This had definitely been one of the craziest experiences of my life. I've been in Belfast for barely nine hours, and I was already drained. I found myself having a huge appreciation for the role my mother and Gemma had in the club. Biting my tongue, swallowing my emotions and my pride, and forcing to remind myself over and over again that to act for the good of the club. It was practically a mantra at this point. I put the coffee pot to the side and leaned on the counter.

Everything was a mess.

My family life was a mess, first with Abel missing, Jax teetering on the edge, Gemma going to jail and now my dear ol' da.

My job, however illegal it might have been, was a mess. I would never enter the racing world again.

My love life, oh forget about it, that was just a bloody war of confusion.

I had no permanent source of income, no place of my own, hell I didn't even have a life plan. All I had to my name was a kick ass car and killer recipe book.

The luxury of self-pity wasn't an option. I had to be strong, not just for the club, but for Gemma, and especially for Jax. For years, they had been my rock, the people who kept me solid and brought me back from the brink. It was my turn now, and I wouldn't fail them. I couldn't fail them.

There was no time for this crap. Everything would be figured out once Abel was safe and we were all back home. Shaking thoughts away, I snapped the lid of the coffee cup in place and grabbed the bag with the two sandwiches. Right now the only thing I needed to focus on was taking care of my guys.

Ireland's cold wind wasn't very forgiving to my soaking wet head. I balanced the coffee in one hand to zip up my jacket before proceeding down the stairs to Ashby Alley, where both Juice and Happy were leaning against the wall behind the row of bikes with the members of SAMBEL.

"Two coffees and double meatloaf special. On the house." I handed them both a coffee and a foil wrapped meatloaf on rye from the plastic bag I carried.

Juice wasted no time unwrapping the sandwich and digging in. "Aw thanks Anna. My stomach was hurting from hunger." I did my best not to laugh out loud at the sauce dribbling down his chin. "Sure, um you're welcome." I drew a napkin and of my pocket and handed it to Juice without a word. He got the hint.

"Thanks Princess." The smirk that came across Happy's face made a warmth spread from my stomach to the rest of my body. Christ, even a playful smirk was making me act like this. Swallowing hard, I did my best to appear normal and hoped that the pink on my cheeks could be explained away by the cold. "Well then, um unless you need anything, I'll leave you be."

"Hey," Happy gave a slight incline of his head. "I told you I like company when I eat." He was deliberately reminding me of the other night, that bastard. The smirk on his face just- ARGH! His damn smirk and his damn mocking eyes. Out of every man I had ever met, he had the most expressive eyes. The rich earth hue made it difficult to see his pupil clearly, but the facetious glint was very easy to find.

Much to my dismay, I felt my face growing hot, and he wasted no time in noticing.

"Okay." Despite the glare, my voice was soft and pliant as I moved to stand next to him, gingerly leaning against the wall. The look that Juice was giving us was priceless.

Our arms touched comfortably while he ate set his coffee down and started unwrapping his sandwich. "Talked to Tig." Hap started, taking another sip of the coffee. I instantly perked up. "Is he okay? Do you know what happened? Is he in-"

"Calm down. He's fine. Cops took him to holding for the night, Tara bailed him out. He lost his license though, pretty pissed about that." I breathed a sigh of relief. So the situation wasn't ideal, but at least he was okay. "Shit. I'm glad he's alright though. He can probably get a worker's exemption on the license. If he proves that he needs to drive in order to work, they'll let him drive during certain hours and with working papers. Clay won't have a problem providing that and the form for it is pretty easily accessible- What?"

Happy was giving me a look that bordered on surprise, which let's face it wasn't something that he was often. "Nothin', didn't expect you to know that." I didn't know if that was a compliment or an insult, but I waved it off. "I worked at the garage all through high school, it's not like Tig's the first member to get their license revoked."

There was a brief silence between us while he sipped his coffee, keeping an eye out for possible danger. "So..." I began, looking up at him with a suggestive smile. "I heard that the Irish here are big fans of bare knuckle boxing." My smile widened when I saw the slightest hint of interest. "Trinity said it's gonna go on tonight at the party."

Happy just looked straight ahead, looking quite please with that ever present slyness in smirk. "Good to know."

"Yea, thought you might like that. Apparently O'Neil and Murphy are some of the top fighters too." Ah there it was, that look on his face where you just knew he was plotting his next move. Happy was infamous for bare knuckle brawls back at home, that was one of the reasons that the club wanted him to join. He prospected first at SAMCRO first, and though I was pretty young then I remembered at the parties he was the contender for fighting. Tonight should definitely be interesting.

"Damn righ' I'm the top fighter Lass," Murphy came up beside me, his hand resting on my shoulder. "Good ta know my reputation sticks." This guy seriously reminded me of Tig, though much younger and not as dangerous, and let's face it no one is as perverse as Tig. "Lookin' forward to see what ya Charming lads are made of."

Happy glanced down at my shoulder, where Murph's hand still rested before looking at the SAMBEL member. The grin fell from my face when I saw the look that Happy shot Murphy. Scanning his hardened features, I had no idea how to interpret the look except that it was far from pleasant. "Yea, looking forward to it too." The edge was back in his tone as well.

Murphy didn't look affected by the change in Hap's previously relaxed demeanor, instead focusing on me. "Can I count te see ya cheerin' in the crowd darlin? I love me a lovely California cheerleader." Maybe it was the accent, but it wasn't hard to find him charming. The slightly crooked teeth that peeked out from the wicked grin only added to his character.

"Sorry Murph," I patted his hand on my shoulder and gently took it off. "I can't not cheer for my guys. SAMCRO thing, you understand." I winked at him and grinned at his laugh. "Shoulda known, loyal to a fault. Yer a good girl." Murphy didn't seem to think anything else about it and started to ask Juice something. Risking a glance at Happy, his shoulders were squared and he was tense as ever.

Looked like he was really taking that whole being on guard thing seriously. I was definitely on guard, but I got a good vibe from Murphy. After hearing him talk about life in the club on the ride over, I was positive he was full Reaper blood.

The sounds of two cars pulling up had every one of the Sons turn their heads, many taking out their guns.

Oh crap.

Happy had his out before I could blink. "Get in the clubhouse. Now." I held my tongue and didn't argue. I hated being ordered around like a dog, but I was getting a good grip on disciplining myself to follow the members' orders. I rushed to the doors of The Crag Lounge, the sounds of cars and guns echoing behind me.

"What's going on?" Gemma got up from the couch she had been dozing off on with all the commotion. She slept less than I did on the plane, I imagine jet-lag was getting to her. "Unknown cars came, Happy ordered me to go in." I wrapped my arms around myself nervously. "You don't think Jimmy would be bold enough to send people to SAMBEL's headquarters?"

Gemma didn't say anything, just edged toward the entrance and listened to the commotion. At the rate we'd been going, I had begun to brace myself for the worst.

"C'mere baby, it's alright." Gemma's face softened to the familiar motherly face I knew all too well. For good reason too, as I came next to her just as Chibs reached his girls.

Oh I knew who Fiona was, mostly from pictures, but also a lovely run in I had with her when I had come to the hospital late one night to visit Chibs after the explosion. I had a feeling she thought I was a croweater at first, but that was quickly cleared up. She was a striking sort of beauty, her facial features worked together in an exotic combination that made it obvious she was quite a beauty in her younger days.

The way Chibs looked at her was nothing short of amazing. They didn't have it easy, but I knew there would never be a woman that Chibs loved the way he did Fiona. Seeing his little family reunion made this hellish day worth it.

Chibs led his family to the guys, everyone He was so happy that I felt it take effect on me as well. I watched him introduce Fiona and his daughter to SAMCRO, keeping his arm around them at all times. The man that brought kept his distance, but not too far. He was probably acting as their bodyguard.

"Come on darlin'. Let's go say hi." Gemma walked forward first, her stride confident and determined. I fell back a bit, just to soak in the moment a little bit. Since I came back, I was getting a deeper understanding of what it meant to be a woman of the club. Right then, watching Chibs look so content and happy, I started to get it a little more. It was more than just being their rock and doing all that was needed so they weren't distracted by little things, it came with doing everything to bring this kind of a happiness to them.

I loved Chibs, I had since I first met him as a little girl. He was so kind to me, played with me, and oh man was he a blast. I remembered how he used to toss me up in the air, chase me around, and just be the best 'uncle' any little girl could ever have. Looking back, I suppose he missed his own daughter so much that I was a welcome outlet. No matter what, he held a special place in my heart, and seeing him so happy made me feel not only happy but satisfied. How weird was that?

Maybe I was more cut out to be an Old Lady than I thought.

"Anna! C'mere love." Chibs was beaming. "Ye know me wife Fiona. This is my daughter, Kerrianne." I smiled and stuck my hand out for her to shake. One look, and there was no mistake who was her father. She had Chibs's eyes and smile, but retained her mother's high cheekbones and angled nose.

"Nice to meet you!" The only response I got from Kerrianne was a shy smile. Poor thing, with all she went through as Jimmy's stepdaughter all her life, it was no wonder she was timid. The stories that I heard about that man made me shudder.

Clay came forward and clapped Chibs on the back. "Glad to see you girls here." He looked right at Fiona now. "We should talk, get some more information 'bout the crazy shit going on." Fiona nodded, "Aye, I'll do what I can to help." She looked over at Jax, smiling sadly. "I'm sorry 'bout your son." Jax must seriously be getting tired of hearing that. I knew people weren't saying that for any other reason than to show support, but to hear it over and over again was the worst. When my mom died, it felt like that was the only thing people said to me, and I hated it right away. It was a constant reminder that things sucked and everyone knew it.

I followed the rest of SAMCRO up the stairs to the SAMBEL lounge above the shop while the bodyguard led Kerrianne to the store to see Trinity. Poor thing, I'd go crazy if I had a bodyguard follow me all the time. That was no life for a seventeen year old girl.

Bobby held the door open for everyone, and all the SAMCRO members plus Fiona took a seat inside. I looked around and walked over to Opie, perching on the arm of his chair. He automatically placed his hand on my hip to steady me. Despite the happiness I knew they all felt for Chibs to reunite with his girls, the tension of the situation with Jimmy was starting to fill the atmosphere again.

"We're glad you're safe," Jax said, leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees. "The way that things have been, all our family was at risk." The rest of the guys got settled in the room then, all eyes on Fiona.

I listened intently as she was filled in on all the events that had occurred since her visit to Belfast. Only a select few women were privy to club business, and it felt so strange to be in that circle. I had always been told the bare minimum, but never at the level of Gemma or my mom. Yet here I was, hearing about all these dealings with the Irish and the case with Jimmy for the first time and no one batted an eyelash that I was there.

"Christ! I'm so sorry Jax," Fiona gave him a sympathetic smile, raking her hand through her kinky curls. "I have no idea why Jimmy lied, I'm not privy to his plans." She looked over at Chibs in silent communication. "He doesn't trust me anymore."

Chibs rubbed her shoulder affectionately, looking at Jax as he spoke. "Do you at least know what he's been up to since he got back?"

"Recruiting! He's in his bar in Newry pretty much day and night!"

"What about O'Neil?" Jax cut in. "Is he on Jimmy's permanent payroll?" Opie's grip on my hip tightened for that spilt second before Fiona answered.

Fiona shook her head. "Not that I know of, but like I said, last few months I've been in the dark." She let out a heavy sigh, looking at both Jax and Gemma. "Sorry that I have nothing that helps."

My shoulder slumped slightly in defeat the same time that Gemma did, though I wasn't as subtle as her. "It's okay. Thank you."

Crap. I wasn't expecting for us to get everything we needed in one day, but we came so far, and we learned nothing new.

Right then, the bodyguard that was with them earlier with Kerrianne, announcing that it was time for them to leave. Poor Chibs, he barely spent an hour with his family.

"Kellen wants us to stay at the rectory," Fiona informed us with another heavy sigh. Her frustration was having an effect on Chibs too. "It's like a bloody fortress." She got up to walk next to her daughter, who spoke in such a sweetly timid voice it was hard to imagine she was the daughter of the loud and passionate Scotsman I knew and loved. "Is Jimmy really gonna try and hurt us, Ma?

A small smile crept it's way on my face at how Chibs fiercely reassured his daughter about her safety. He had waited for so long to be a dad to her. It was a shame that their first time in over a decade together was so short.

"They just got here though," I said looking between Clay and the bodyguard. "Can't they stay longer?" At least one family reunion deserved to happen today.

Clay nodded in agreement. "Church is nearby, we can get them back safely."

The bodyguard glanced at the guys. "You lads armed?" Every single one of the guys took out their gun, Opie having to shift me just the slightest to reach for his own.

It satisfied the bodyguard, and I stood up to stretch and give my poor butt a break from sitting on the edge of the ledge. Chibs had his arm around his wife, looking so damn happy to be back with his family.

"Well, I don't know 'bout you guys, but I could use some shut eye. This Jet lag's a bitch," Clay said, leaning down to kiss Gemma. Most of the guys did look pretty beat, and who could blame them? The day was barely half done and already it felt like a full day.

I looked between the tired looks on the guys faces, taking enough pity to make the tsunami of jet lag that hit me turn into a wave. "Can I get anyone something? Trinity showed me where the coffee and drinks are." I reached out and rubbed Jax's arm.

"Make a pot for us." Jax nodded at me, looking like he needed some sleep more than anyone else.

"Okay. Just promise me you'll get some sleep." He gave a tired nod and I went into the kitchen to make the coffee. Chibs sat on the couch with his wife and daughter, talking to them, and the rest of the guys started slowly pulling away, giving into the effect of the twelve hour time difference. Members of SAMBEL started filing in not long after, but I kept to the task of making a huge pot of strong coffee for my own guys.

"Hey." I looked up when Gemma placed a hand on my shoulder. "Go to sleep. You've been up longer than the rest of us." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, she looked more beat than I felt. "I'll be fine Gem, you all need the rest more than me. Besides, this is what I'm here for, to make everyone comfortable and well, you know the rest." I set out the coffee mugs, getting maybe three out before Gemma put her hand on my arm.

Oh, there's the Mama Bear look. "Go sleep. You've been taking good care of the boys, and if you wanna keep doing it, go get some sleep and wake up for dinner." She took the mug from my hand, giving me a look that left no room for argument. "Go. I'll finish up."

I learned long ago that it was useless to argue when she got like this. She either wanted me out of the way or my shower did nothing to help me look refreshed. "Don't push yourself too hard either Gemma." I kissed her on the cheek and turned to go catch up on some much needed rest.

_**Author's Note:**_

**Wow, that took way longer than I wanted it to post up, but I won't lie, watching Season 5 has me emotionally drained. *S/A* I still tear up thinking about Opie, and as you see this chapter featured Opie a good couple of times. I couldn't even look at it for awhile without tearing up, so I wasted weeks of editing. I know, it's sad I'm so involved in a show, and maybe it's just me but after awhile it seems like you personally know the characters, especially writing them in first person point of view.**

**That being said, here's part one of the chapter, it was so long that I didn't like the way it was broken up. Expecting something soon, cause now all I am doing is editing. And for those patiently waiting to see the progress between Anna and Happy, you're going to love the next chapter!**

**Now for my wonderful, patient, and hopefully forgiving reviewers, you guys are amazing. Thanks so much for your opinions, suggestions, and constructive criticisms, they make my nights, and probably is what fueled me to put aside the emotional madness of this season and continue.**

**SilverAdvenger12:**** I am so SO sorry for not updating sooner, but I'm betting you bawled your eyes out too when Opie was killed, and the funeral, oh man forget it I lost it. On the bright side, this season made me love Happy more, and did give me new ideas for the future. As for the story, well you have encounter #1 with McGee and Anna, and I have a feeling encounter #2 won't go as smoothly *hint hint, nudge nudge* I hope you stick to this even through my crazy updates, cause I do intend to finish this story.**

**ILoveAnime89:**** Sorry for the long wait, but I hope you enjoy this update!**

**Slytherin Studios:**** Gemma taking control of the van always cracked me up, I had fun writing it. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope to hear your thoughts on this chapter too!**

**RoseRedGurl:**** So much for consistent updates -_- I couldn't even look at this story for weeks after Opie dying, and I'm sorry for not getting it up sooner. Be patient, I will have the next one up super soon, and it will be juicy. I hope you're just as excited for this one and the next one!**

**go4itgirl:**** Nobody but Gemma could make such a ballsy move. And as you asked, a bit more Happy in this chapter. Next Chapter will be some juicy scenes with Happy and a not so pleasant one with McGee. As you see, this chapter is the building block for something big, and I promise you you'll see it soon. Thanks for reading, and I hope to hear from you again!**

**Venetiangrl92:**** Encounter #1 with her 'dad' well didn't go too well, as you saw. She wasn't as fine with it all as she tried to tell herself, and it probably won't get better as it goes along. I'm just proud she managed to control her temper. Thanks for sticking with me and for reading, I hope to hear from you again!**

**otte1978:**** I love Anna's relationship with the guys, and oh man trying to write/edit the scenes with Opie had me in tears. I dread eventually having to write that scene. For now though, the guys are there for her and she's holding herself rather well despite everything. I only hope it stays.**

**princessprose:**** One encounter down, a couple of more to go! stay tuned for the next couple of chapters, cause things are not going to be as smooth. Eep! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really hope I hear from you again!**

**Leon's Angel:**** Dollface! Aw I miss writing scenes with Tig, even though I'm kinda mad at him now cause of Season 5, he's so much fun to write! Thanks for reading and for reviewing. I love your username by the way!**

**Guest:**** I'm so glad you liked it! I'm flattered you liked it enough to leave a review! Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you soon!**

**HemioneandMarcus: Glad you liked it, thanks for reading and a review!**

**MuckyShroom: Ahh a new reviewer! I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for taking the time to review and for Reading!**

**LadySaphire: I love new reviewers! thanks so much for reading and I'd love to hear from you again.**

**X Blue Eyed Demon X: First off, love your username. Thanks for the vote of confidence and for reading and taking the time to review. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!**

**SoLongNotGoodnight: I'm glad you love this story and that you dropped a review! I'm so glad you took the time to read it and that you love it! It's my baby, so it's always great to hear. I hope you like this chapter too!**

**Thank you also to everyone who followed and favorited the story, I hope to hear from you guys soon. **

**Hope everyone enjoys this chapter!**

**-Daria**


	18. Natural Disaster

"Anna! I thought ye'd still be sleepin'!" Trinity had come in to the room quietly with a tray of food, setting it gently on the desk in her room. "Ma and I made some sandwiches for the lads. Brought one for ye in case ye were feelin' a wee bit peckish when ye woke up."

"Thanks." My voice was strained as I stretched my arms over my head. I slept for a good several hours, and it felt good. Though by the look of it, I probably wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night here. "What time is it?" I tucked the curls that escaped from the thick braid I wrestled my hair into before I fell asleep.

"It's the seventeenth hour already. Ye slept for a long while." Trinity handed me the plate of an open corned beef and swiss cheese sandwich. "Most of yer lads woke not too long ago either."

I sighed sleepily and picked up the sandwich. "Crap. I wanted to be up before them to start dinner." I took a bite of the gloriously warm and fresh sandwich and my whole body slacked in satisfaction. "Oh yea, this totally hits the spot."

Trinity flopped on her bed. "Glad ya like. We just got the meat from the butcher down the street. And don't worry, there's plenty of time before dinner. Ma's about to start cookin', ye can help her out. She said she won' have a guest doin' all the cookin' in her home." She stretched out on the bed, watching me blissfully eat the sandwich.

"Yer boys are a good lookin' bunch. Kerrianne thinks so as well. Ye shoulda seen her face when her da was introducin' her to Juice earlier, I didnay think it was possible for her to turn that shade of red." I raised my eyebrow delicately, studying the slim Irish girl that was probably the fastest friend I ever made. "I know, I always found them all quite handsome in their own way. Your guys are as well, major bonus points for the accents."

"Aye, I'm the same way for yer lads." She hesitated, looking like she wanted to ask me something but held her tongue, though there was no way to disguise her curiosity. I rolled my eyes and swallowed the bite of sandwich. "Okay, just ask me whatever it is you want to ask me."

Trinity practically blurted out. "Are ye anyone's Ol' Lady?" That I wasn't expecting. If I had still been chewing my sandwich, I probably would have choked. Slowly, I set down the sandwich and prayed that I didn't blush or anything along those lines. "Well, no. I'm not officially with anyone. Never have been." I chose my words carefully,

Judging from the skeptical look on her face, it didn't look like Trinity believed me. "But ye are involved with someone aren't you," she pointed out. Wow, that wasn't even a question, was I that transparent?

I took a deep sigh and set aside the plate with a quarter sandwich left on it. "To be honest, I have no idea. It's a weird situation, and I think both of us are trying to figure out how to go about it." My love life was a mess made up of confusion, lust, yearning, and fear. Not to mention, Happy was going to prison for God knows how long.

"Is it with Jax?" This time I did choke on the tea I was sipping. "NO! No, no, no! Definitely not Jax. Don't get me wrong, I love that man beyond anything, but I would never! He's pretty much my brother." I wiped my mouth with the napkin as Trinity giggled. "Wow, what made you think that? Most people assume we're related since we're both blonde and light eyes."

She shrugged, still smiling but not meeting my eye. "Ye both just seemed really close. And I saw ye holdin' his hand earlier so I assumed. Not to mention he's quite a handsome lad." She fiddled with a loose thread on the hem of her shirt. Aw crap, it didn't take a genius to see that she was attracted to Jax. As much as I had started to like Trinity, the last thing I wanted for Jax to have another distraction.

Doing my best to appear casual, I took a sip of the tea again, this time with more grace. "Jax isn't in a good place right now. He had his son taken from him, been pushing away everyone he cares about, and just recently messed up a really wonderful relationship with a woman he loved since he was sixteen. I'm being what he needs right now, and what he needs is a support that he knows won't go away." I chose my words carefully, blowing over the rim of my cup to cool the scalding tea. Jax and Tara still had a chance in my mind, and I didn't want Trinity to ruin it.

"I'll keep that in mind. So who's the lad yer involved with? Or possibly involved with?" Oh yea, she got the hint by her quick change of subject. Hopefully she'll mind it. Fortunately for her, it was a successful change of subject, because I found myself smiling softly and having that ridiculous giddiness that I loathed and loved all at once. "I don't think you met him properly. It's a very strange situation." I bit my lip in thought, not offering more. While I understood Happy more than I ever thought possible, I won't pretend to know what he was thinking in terms of me. What stuck with me was that he didn't brush it off as a one time thing. He made it clear on several occasions that the moment we had wasn't something to be forgotten, all while telling me to just let things settle.

I still didn't know if I wanted to pursue anything with him. I won't deny the connection that we had, and that feeling like I wasn't alone anymore that washed over me when we were together. The pure understanding of our pain was powerful, and if it was just that maybe it would be easier to sort out, but it wasn't. Despite everything that happened with us, I found myself enjoying his company. When we weren't at each other's throats, it was comfortable. Happy was easy to talk to casually, but the best was the silences. I knew that was weird, but the silences were so comfortable and natural. We sat in silence on the plane for about two or three hours, and it was pleasant.

On the other side, he had a known love of skanks. I could deal with a bad temper, but being in less than anything but a one hundred percent monogamous relationship was something I could never do. Happy didn't seem like the type that did monogamous relationships ever, and that was enough to make me scared out of my mind of the growing feelings I had for him.

"That bad eh?" Trinity said softly, bringing me out of my pool of thought. Wow how long had I been sitting there? "It's... complicated." She smiled sympathetically and cocked her head to the side. "Me ma's afraid I'm gonna end up settlin' with an outlaw like her, but it's kinda inevitable. It is for both of us eh? We're born into the life, we have a different idea of what makes a real man, and very few outside the club will ever live up ta that."

I stared at her for a moment in slight awe before sighing. "It's funny, that's something that one of the member's wife told me once." Memories of Donna flashed through my mind, before she became slightly bitter toward the club. I really missed her. During her funeral, I had been next to Gemma, doing my best to keep my tears to a minimum. It was an awful day.

Trinity and I both looked up at the sound of a knock, where Maureen stood in the doorway, smiling. "Ye had a good rest?" I nodded politely, sitting up straight. "I did, thank you."

Maureen smiled in the same polite manner I had adapted and looked over at her daughter. "Come on Trinie, we're gonna bring the Charming lads some fresh sheets. Make 'em a bit more comfortable." Trinity nodded and got up from her bed. "I'll be back then."

Trinity walked passed her mom, who still stood in the doorway. "I'm bringing some groceries ta the club house before I cook supper here. Yer welcome ta help. I'm told you're quite the cook." Maureen's tone was soft and polite, but she kept her hands clasped in front of her. I wondered briefly if that was a nervous tick.

"I like to keep my guys fed well." I kept my tone just as polite. Okay, it's not like I could be blamed for acting a little cold. This was the woman that my dad left my mom for, I wasn't looking to warm up to her. She was giving me a strangely nostalgic look, similar to the look that Gemma sometimes gave me when she was talking about my mom.

"Well then, I'll meet ye in the kitchen." Maureen smiled politely again and made her exit. Okay, just because everything from my future to my love life was a mess, didn't mean that it wasn't clear to me that there was something that was going on that no one was telling me. My mom had gone to Belfast several times with Uncle John to see my dad, I knew that cause of the pictures and the fact that there are pictures of me in Belfast when I was like a year or old. Logic made it safe to assume that my mother and Maureen knew each other. Okay fine, but what was the big secret about that?

I thought about it while I changed clothes and put on some makeup, and I couldn't come up with a theory that made sense. I was so tired of secrets, they were as exhausting to keep as they were to guess. I knew that it was an every day thing with the club, but it still sucked.

After I threw my unruly curls up on a bun, I moved to the kitchen and began unpacking the bags of groceries on the counter. There were so much packages of fresh meat right from the butchers, and so much bread it was ridiculous. I was finishing the last bag filled with eggs and milk when Maureen came back inside, without Trinity. "Where's Trinity?"

"She's taking the lads ta the Church ta drop off Fee and Kerrianne. They'll be gathering everyone in the van soon and back in time for supper." She took out a huge stew pot and picked out a couple of meat cuts. "A nice Irish stew should do all the lads some good." Wordlessly, I grabbed some potatoes and started peeling them rapidly. For the next half hour, we worked in a rather uncomfortable silence, only the sounds of slicing and cutting of various foods and the music from the radio filling the air. Man I wish she just let me cook on my own, then I could have a chance to relax with my music, and my head would be clear of all the noise of confusion for a chance to think clearly.

When I lived with Dante, I cooked dinner almost every night. I would blast my country music, sing at the top of my lungs while I cooked up whatever I was in the mood to try. The other morning when I cooked breakfast for the guys, I was blasting Zac Brown Band and doing some awesome multi-tasking of cutting up fruit, flipping pancakes and rolling cinnamon buns.

Granted, I was under some huge mass of emotional stress, but like driving, cooking keeps your mind and hands focused. I watched the food the way I watched the road, I cut fruit the way I cut turns, and the same way the knife moves in an even pace with the right pressure fruit of vegetable is the way the my foot hits the clutch, and the best was when I mixed up batter or a sauce. My hand had to move the spoon at just the right speed, just like my hand shifting gears. That was what cooking was to me, and what it should be.

What I was doing now was not my kinda cooking. Preparing dinner with Maureen was just awkward. We worked in silence, the only sounds in the small kitchen was the music and the slicing and dicing of the meat and vegetables.

"Did yer ma ever tell ye 'bout her time here?" Maureen broke the terse silence between us about a half an hour later, after I handed her the cut up meat. I looked at her strangely and shook my head. "No. All I knew was that she had come here with me for awhile to be with McGee and my brother stayed with Gemma."

She put the meet in the pot, smiling softly to herself. "Yer ma was a good woman. She didn't like me too much in the beginning, but we put aside our differences after awhile."

I stayed silent, not sure what to say and slightly suspicious as to where this conversation was leading. Maureen glanced at me for a moment, the slight smile still on her face. "I'm sure everyone tells ye enough how much ye look like her." I nodded my head, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. At that point, it was like pointing out the obvious. I guessed now that I was older and at the age when most people first met my mother, I was hearing it more than ever.

"We wrote te each other after she left here for the last time. She sent me some pictures of ye growing up. Ye were the sweetest wee babe. Took yer first steps right in the clubhouse." Okay, what the hell was the point of this, was she trying to make McGee look good or something? I tossed the potatoes in the large pot, glancing at her suspiciously. "And you're telling me all this why? I know my mom was wonderful, everyone did."

Maureen paused for a moment, not quite looking at me when she turned. "Yer ma loved the club. She did what she had to. I learned a lot from her as well." I was getting super annoyed at how carefully she was choosing her words.

"No disrespect, but you still didn't answer my question; why are you telling me this?" I stopped dicing the carrots and turned to face her, trying to gauge her the situation.

She finally met my eyes and hesitated for a moment before she opened her mouth. "I'm tellin' you because-"

"Mo, Anna!" Declan burst through the just at that moment, halting all conversation. He looked distressed and angry. "The van got shot up on the way to the church."

"Jesus Christ, is anyone hurt?" Maureen stopped stirring and I reached down to pick up the knife I dropped, using all my strength to regain my composure.

"Aye, they're a bit scratched up but no one's seriously hurt. We just sent out a couple of men te escort them back with another van." I let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the kitchen counter.

"Do we have any first aid kits?" I asked, rubbing my temples to try and calm myself down. "Aye, I'll grab 'em. If it's anythin' bad, Seamus can take care of 'em. Stay here an' tend to the food."

I nodded, picking up the knife and trying my best to go back to preparing a meal. Jesus, this was only day one, and it was a shitstorm. It was like a series of near fatal events that just didn't let up.

Setting the stew pot on a low simmer, I moved the curtains so I could see when the van would pull up. Today was probably just a preview to what the rest of the week had in store for us, and I was definitely not looking forward to that part. I would do whatever it took to get Abel back, but Jimmy was out for their blood, and I couldn't handle losing any of them.

The van and the motorcycles escorts pulled up just as Maureen returned with the first aid kits. She turned off the stove and placed the lid on the stew pot. "C'mon then." I practically ran down the stairs, just in time to feel my insides clench when I saw Jax coming out of the van after Trinity. Thank God that he wasn't hurt, that would have just been the icing on the cake.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Jax and Trinity looked alright, but it didn't stop me from being worried out of my mind. "We're fine, don't worry." He kissed my forehead gently, his arm weaving around me to lead me away from the small crowd that started forming around the van.

Gemma of course pushed her way through the crowd and went right to Jax, throwing her arms around her only son. I didn't even want to think what Gemma would do if something happened to Jax now after all the crap she went through.

"I'm glad you're okay baby." She hugged him tight, and it didn't look like she wanted to let go. Meanwhile, I made a beeline straight for Opie, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him as tight as I could. "You guys can't keep scaring me like this," I mumbled into his chest, letting the relieved feeling wash over me now that I knew my guys were safe. Opie rubbed my back soothingly, practically prying my arms off after a minute. "We're fine, it's alright. Think you can patch me up?" It was only then when I saw Opie's left hand had a long gash going across the top of his palm to his wrist, blood slowly seeping out. "It's from a piece of glass from the shooting."

"Of course." I immediately grabbed one of the small first aid kits and had Opie sit on one of the picnic tables so I could wrap up his hand. Seriously, I had no idea how Gemma or my mom lived like for all these years. I was at the end of my rope just from the last few days. It was so much easier when I was a kid because I realized more now just how much the club sheltered me from the crap that went on. I always knew about the big stuff, like when Lenny went to prison under really sketchy circumstances and Uncle John dying and everything that came with that, but everyday danger was new to me. Keeping up a calm and cool front was definitely up there on hardest things I'd ever done.

"Well, thankfully it's not deep." I turned his hand over carefully, using a pair of plastic tweezers to take out a small pieces of glass. "I'm glad you guys are alright," My voice was softer than normal, not wanting to give away my incredible urge to scream at them for getting into this crap and risking their necks without considering their families. I wouldn't, it wasn't their fault per say, it came with the life. Still, being helpless was something I never took well to no matter what the situation.

"Things will get better Annie girl, don't worry." I smiled, I loved it when Opie called me Annie. He was the only one other than my mom that called me that, and it always brought the same feel of comfort. Opie wasn't one for pet names or affectionate gestures with many people, but he always came through. "There! All better. I'll change the bandage tomorrow." He got up and squeezed my shoulder. "Thanks."

Clay let out a whistle to get everyone's attention, effectively silencing the bustle and excitement. "Table, now." I watched as the to club charters walked to the Crag Lounge, leaving behind the women and the prospects. Clay probably wanted to figure this crap out as soon as possible.

I stood up and moved over to Trinity, who stood by her mom looking effectively rattled. "Christ Trinie, what happened out there?" She looked shaken up and struggling to calm herself. "Cars surrounded us on every end. We had no way to get out and they just started shootin'." Trinity rubbed her arms, taking deep steady breaths. "Jax threw me down and shielded me." I patted her back comfortingly, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. Leave it to Jax, he'll throw himself in front of a bullet for any lady.

"Come on love, let's go upstairs and I'll make you some tea. Or give you a hard shot of liquor, whatever calms you down best." I led her out of the crowd and up the stairs. I focused on what Gemma had done in the past at a similar situation, and it was all I could to follow her example. "I'll finish dinner; get everyone calmed down so we don't let it ruin our evening."

Trinity followed me up, letting out deep breaths and gradually calming herself down. I set her down and poured her a shot of Whiskey. She downed it like it was nothing. That girl was shorter than me by an inch or so and definitely weighed less than me, yet she could handle her liquor better than I ever did. Now that was sad.

I turned the heat on the stew back on and added some extra spices, because damnit my guys are not going to have a bland meal after the day they had. "I take it this isn't the first time something like this happened around here huh?" I said, slightly marveling at how easily Trinity was able to compose herself.

"No. There was a point last year where it seemed like it was goin' ta be a regular thing. First time it happened ta me though." She lit a cigarette, her hands still slightly shaking. I started to shred the lettuce for the salad as she poured herself another shot of whiskey. "Well, if you ever visit California, I promise not to give you the same sort of welcoming. Pour me a shot love." I was so on the edge that I needed something to just get me through cooking the rest of the meal.

The craziness of this day just had to be over, because frankly I couldn't handle it if any more near death experiences where crammed in one day. I was ridiculously jumpy as it was, and that never happened with me. After I helped Maureen and Gemma finish dinner, I did everything I could to get the guys as comfortable as possible. After meeting at the table, they all came outside to eat on the picnic tables, and I spent most of the time going back and forth, serving everyone seconds and grabbing drinks, keeping as busy as I could.

I would have kept doing it too, if Happy didn't grab my arm with an annoyed look on his face. "Sit and eat. You cooked, that it. You ain't a servant, and they got their own girls to take care of 'em. You ain't one of 'em." It was true; some of the women I had seen hanging around the area were periodically refilling everyone's drinks. Honestly, I was just looking for a way to keep busy. I was at that point that I needed something to do with my hands just because I couldn't stand feeling helpless. I was worried out of my mind about the guys and what could happen next, even though everyone seemed cheerful with all the food and drinks.

"Yea, you're right." I let him force me in the seat next to him and practically shove a plate at me. What the hell was he so annoyed about anyways? I filled a plate with salad and a small portion of stew. It was so hard to be strong sometimes, and after today, I was at the point where I tensed up every time a car passed by. After the fifth car passed, an open bottle of beer was set in front of me. "Drink it, you need to calm the hell down," Happy's voice was firm though in a low tone to not draw attention, which I definitely appreciated.

I picked up the bottle and took a long, neat sip, setting it down. Yep that did nothing. "Thanks, but I'm fine." I twirled the bottle gently, working to compose myself, and I was doing a damn good job until I felt a hand on my thigh and almost jumped out of my seat.

"You're fine huh? Coulda fooled me." Happy scoffed in annoyance, but his hand stayed on my thigh. "Relax. Nothing's gonna happen." To my surprise, he squeezed my thigh in what could only be described as an affectionate touch. Oh this was dangerous; I shouldn't be feeling so damn reassured and safe over a touch on the leg. But I did, and it was scarier than any car passing by.

As much as I was trying to push all these feelings away and shove them as far away as possible, it was getting harder and harder to do it. It's like when I let him in that one very intimate part of my life that no one else had ever touched, there was no going back. Have you ever wanted something so badly, but you weren't sure what it was, but still the thought of having it was terrifying beyond anything you had ever faced? That's how it was for me, and probably even worse because I was fighting a losing battle.

I smiled softly, my shoulders sagging slightly as I resigned to the fact that I had no control of any of this craziness. "I'm alright, thank you." Hap studied me for a moment, then squeezed my thigh one more time and went back to his food. Oh boy, here comes the wave of giddiness that usually comes after the moments of angst and denial. I ate my food with a small smile that I refused to leave my face.

The giddiness stayed through the rest of dinner, especially since when I calmed down I was talking to both Happy and Bobby through most of the meal. "Princess here is just bummed that she doesn't have the run of the kitchen anymore." Happy was smirking and Bobby was laughing. "Hey, at least it's better than when she was learning to cook. That's when she was hitting people with spoons."

"And who said I ever stopped? Just try and set foot in my kitchen when we get home." I threatened playfully, stabbing my fork in their direction to make a point. Happy's ever infuriating smirk was as prominent as ever, eyes glinting in mischief that took me aback for just a moment. "Looks like she upgraded to a fork," He took a swig of his beer and Bobby laughed at my expense, but I didn't even mind. When Happy was relaxed and enjoying himself like this, he was incredibly attractive.

Believe it or not, I didn't notice as often as I should. Mind you, I always knew he was good looking, but it was different then. The lines on his face melted away and the hard set mouth forming in that teasing smile was a whole new look, and equally attractive.

I shoved a spoonful of food in my mouth and started blushing furiously. Yep, I had move to the rank of Admiral Pathetic.

Though I was positive that Happy and Bobby both noticed my blushing, they had the good grace not to tease me about it. Thanks to them, I ended my meal feeling relaxed for the first time in a while, which I thought would be impossible after the day that we had.

I remained relaxed even after supper when I was in the kitchen alone doing dishes while everyone else was setting up for the 'Charming Welcoming' as Declan had called it. It was just Trinity and I and some other girls cleaning up after dinner, many of them talking and laughing. I heard a bunch of stories of the type of parties that went on here. Just like back home, there was bare knuckle boxing, dancing, kids running around, and lots of drinking.

"In secondary school, I was always surrounded by these girls and boys whenever they got wind of a party," Trinity said while putting away the dry dishes I handed to her. "It was the only time they thought not ta treat me like a whore." I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly where she was coming from. "At least they spoke to you, I had a couple of instances where the high school princesses would show up at the gates, and having the wonderful pleasure of seeing my Godmother tell them that she'll call the cops on them for soliciting prostitution."

Kelly, a small blonde with blonde hair covering the canopy of her black hair, started laughing. "Did she really? That must have been wonderful ta see. If we're not busy with the members, we're the ones that usually chase away the minors."

"And the rest of the time it's me. The men can't be trusted," Trinity added with a giggle. She looked over at the clock on the wall and grimaced. "My friends are gonna be here soon. We better get ready." She looked right at me for the last part and I nodded, hanging the dish rag to Rosie, another 'Bellhopper'. "At least we got most of it done, thanks girls."

None of the clothes I brought were clothes I would typically wear to a party, and though Trinity and I were about the same height and with a small bone structure, I was significantly larger in the chest area and had a bit more curves than her, which was a nice feeling for a change. I stuck to a plain long sleeved black shirt and the retro stiletto jeans that I got the other day. I was able to borrow a pair of black heels from Trinity, which felt so weird. Heels were something I didn't start wearing till I was around 20 years old and I discovered how useful feminine wiles were at the race track. Mind you, I still wasn't 100% comfortable with them but come on I have to make my guys proud.

"How in hell do you get your hair like that?" Trinity asked me when she saw me shaking out my hair when I took it out of the bun. I just shrugged. "My mom taught me, she didn't have hair as curly as mine, but it was just as thick so I learned all the tricks from her. Never used shampoo, just conditioner and the occasional apple cider rinse. The only product I really use is gel made from flaxseeds that my mom always made. She was big on homemade stuff." My mom was born in Poland and my Ukrainian born grandmother was the local esthetician in her town, using things like eggs for face masks and olive oil and sunflower oil as lotion and shaving oil. My mom learned from her and in turn passed it down to me. It might seem weird, but we never wasted money on skincare products and despite my crazy curls they never looked bad and I never had any skin problems either. My mom was handy like that, never letting anything go to waste.

Trinity's friends were nothing like I expected. Lorey and Meghan were so much quieter and timid than I expected for girls that always hung out with a group of bikers. Mind you, they all were friendly enough, but definitely not the kind of girls I would expect to be part of the biker crowd. Not to mention they looked very young, but then again so did Trinity.

"What's California like? I've always wanted to go," Lorey asked me while I was putting the finishing touches on my makeup. I kissed the piece of tissue to get the excess lipstick color off, smiling. "Well, it's much warmer than here, that's for sure. Charming is up North though, so it's nowhere near as warm as L.A."

"I wanted te go inta actin' and move to L.A., but me parents won't hear of it," Meghan said with a sigh. "Although from what Trinity said, I would go jus' for the lads."

I met Trinity's eye over my handheld mirror and saw her smirk. "Dun look at me like tha' Anna, ye know it's true." Oh boy. I suppose I should have been used to it by now, but it still felt strange to hear girls go on about them like this, particularly girls that looked like they were barely eighteen.

"Well," I snapped the handheld mirror shut and grabbed my leather jacket. "I suppose you'll see for yourself in a bit. I'll see you girls later, I'm going to check on Gemma." I politely excused myself and walked outside while putting on my jacket.

Ireland nights was way too cold for my liking, but I could deal. The 'welcoming' party had already started. There were several metal trashcans on fire, a makeshift bar all set up, and music blasting. I spotted Gemma having a drink at one of the picnic tables.

"Your pills let you drink that?" I cracked a grin at the glare Gemma sent me. "What you're my nursemaid now?" She shot back, looking at me up and down. "Look at you. Who are you trying to impress?" Ugh, she had that knowing look on her face that always made me nervous. No matter what it was, it always seemed like Gemma always knew what was going on.

I tried to seem casual and just shrugged nonchalantly. "No one, just wanted to make the club look good." Gemma rolled her eyes and lit up a cigarette. "Yea right, well you certainly got 'No one's' attention over there." My gaze followed where her cigarette was pointing and I bit my lip when I saw Happy looking at me over the rim of his drink.

Crap. How the hell did she always know? I looked away only to meet her knowing smirk while she took a drag of the cigarette. "Well sweetheart, don't ever let anyone tell ya you don't keep things interesting." I just grabbed a beer from the table and took a long swig.

"Just be careful babygirl. Don't give your heart away till you're positive it's right." I rolled my eyes and gave her a pointed look. "Like I didn't know that Gem. I know I'm probably setting myself up to get burned, it's not like I'm not fighting it every step of the way."

Gemma didn't say anything for a moment, just studied me carefully. "That's your problem right there hun, quit fighting it. Enjoy it, see where it goes, but don't let your heart go until you're sure." Wow Happy said almost the exact same thing, though he did it in his usual delightfully direct manner whereas my Godmother was gentler about it.

Still, if they both said it, maybe I was just being stubborn and letting my fear take over. The more I thought about it while sipping my beer, I realized that I probably did need to just let it go and 'enjoy the ride.' Maybe with another beer I could do it, but the fear that loomed over it wasn't something that would easily be squashed.

While I nursed my second beer, I found myself more relaxed and letting the high energy of the party take over me. The bare knuckle boxing had already started, and I watched from the picnic table with Trinity and her friends as O'Neil took the ring. "He used te be in underground boxin' before he joined. One o' the big winners too," Trinity explained to me as we watched him fight one of the SAMBEL prospects. "Yer da was the one who found 'im. He used ta make the most money in these fights till Murph came along. You should see 'im go."

That I believed, Murphy had massive forearms, the kind that would make someone think twice about getting in a confrontation with him. His punch must be intense. "We do fights too. One of the members that's still in California, Tig, now he's a dirty fighter. You don't want to be a stranger and get in the ring with him," I said proudly. Man I missed Tig, I was going to try and call him later after the party died down.

"Ouch!" I winced when O'Neil delivered a punch that knocked the prospect right to the ground. "That was a solid punch." I watched as the Irishman held his hands up in victory daring anyone to challenge him. "Who's up next?!"

In an instant I hear Jax's voice speak out over the music. I raised my eyebrow and smirked. "Guess it's my guys' turn." I downed the last of my beer from the tall glass and moved around the table by Clay just as Jax handed me his shirt. I place it over my arm and held out my hands for Jax to hand off his rings and necklace. "Knock him flat love." I smirked knowingly, as I was all to aware just as everyone else in the club was of how bad Jax wanted to hurt him for lying.

"Don't you worry about that." Oh he was so going to love this. "Yea, don't let him mess up that pretty face," Bobby added, patting him on the back. I placed all his rings and necklace in the pocket of my leather jacket. "It's you money maker," I joked, handing him over my spare hair tie. "Give him hell." I kissed his cheek and smiled, which quickly turned into an eyebrow raise when Trinity came forward and offered to wrap his hands.

Oh man, I knew that smile she had, it was the same one I had around Happy. I really hoped this ended here; Jax didn't need another excuse to push away Tara, especially for some young Irish pussy. Oh crap and he was flirting. What a whore.

Clay and Gemma both got up from the table, Gemma moving over to Jax. "Make him bleed," she said kissing him on the cheek, all while eying Trinity with suspicion and... what that was a warning gaze. Maybe she didn't want Jax to have a pussyfest in Ireland either. "Take care of our boys. And yourself." Gemma squeezed my hand and walked off with Clay to the area they were staying in. Good, those two seriously needed some alone time.

I grabbed another glass of beer, taking another sip all while keeping an eye on Jax. He was staring hard at O'Neil, the look he got when I knew he wanted a fight. It was funny, I never saw Jax as dangerous. He was always so good to me, always doing everything he can for those he loved. Every once in awhile, I would catch this look on his face, and it was a potentially dangerous look I never wanted directed at me. Oh yeah, he was going to pound him good.

When Jax walked up to O'Neil to begin the fight, I slipped in a spot between Happy and Opie, getting excited all over again. I loved watching my guys fight, and Jax wasn't going to hold back much.

All of SAMCRO, minus Clay, were cheering Jax, Chibs making the best comments ever. My grin and volume grew with every punch Jax landed, cheering right with the rest of them. "Yes! Go Jax! Aim for the brow!" I yelled, getting way more into this fight than I expected. I raised my glass in the air when Jax got in a mean left hook right above O'Neil's eye. That was going to bruise for sure.

"OH!" Jax got him right in the nose that I practically heard the crunch. I was enjoying the electrified atmosphere that came with the fight so much that I forgot about everything. I forgot about being worried and on alert for any danger, and most of all I forgot about how nervous I could get around Happy. Hell during the whole fight, he had stolen a sip from my beer, and at one point when I was jumping up and down for Jax he put an arm on my waist to keep me from tipping over in my heels.

Who would've thought that all I needed to relax was a couple of beers and a fight?

Ten minutes into the fight, Jax had definitely made O'Neil bleed. He had blood gushing from his nose to the point where it distracted him too much to continue fighting, and Jax knew it. That final uppercut right in the jaw sent the Irishman right to the ground.

Needless to say, I was cheering my head off.

Opie and Bobby went off to get a Jax a towel and I grabbed him a water bottle. "Now that was awesome!" I said handing him a water bottle that he poured right on his sweaty chest. Members of SAMBEL came forward then, congratulating him and clapping him on the back.

"My turn!" I looked behind me to see Murphy taking off his shirt and walking toward the ring. I raised my eyebrows when he winked at me as I passed. So I finally got to see the famous Murphy in action. Wow, he was built. Corded muscle upon muscle that showed off his fit physique and obvious strength.

Maybe this was why I loved boxing so much.

"Who's it gonna be?" He beckoned with his fingers in a mocking manner. "C'mon now lads, don' be scared now." I rolled my eyes, smiling at the little show. Tig would SO jump at the chance just for gloating rights afterward.

"Me!" Crap I knew that voice, knew it very well at this point. Yep, Happy was taking off his shirt and had that same almost bloodthirsty look he had earlier today when Murphy came up. I stared in slight surprise for a moment, wordlessly handing Trinity Jax's shirts just in time to take Happy's. "So, is this for the love of the fight or to prove something?" I asked with raised eyebrows, eyes searching his face when he met my eyes.

The only response I got was a slow spreading smirk, and that was enough.

My hand closed over the rings he deposited in my hand and I carefully pocketed them in my free pocket, watching as he expertly wrapped his hands. Despite biting my lip, I couldn't keep the grin off my face as I watched him enter the open circle, the bloodthirsty shadow never leaving his face.

Trinity stood next to me, watching my face for a moment before a wave of realization washed over her face. "Ah. So this be him eh?" I didn't say anything back, just kept my eyes on the crowd as Happy and Murphy circled each other. When Happy ducked a swing, and landed a hit in Murphy's jaw, I handed Jax's rings to Trinity. I knew I wouldn't be willing to step away right now, and if she wants to tend to him, might as well let her.

I clutched his shirt and cheered right along with Juice, who found his way to me with a fistful of bills. As intense as the fight between Jax and O'Neil was, Happy and Murphy were just relentless. Once the first punch was thrown, there was no hesitation and no dancing around. Fists were flying, and it was a test of speed and reflexes.

When Murphy landed a mean punch in Happy's face, I visibly winced. That was a solid hit too, he was going to have a black eye for sure. That didn't stop Murphy from getting a mean hit right in the mouth, blood dripping from a straight cut on his lip. Man I hoped that wouldn't need stitches because that would hurt big time.

The crowd around the two of them grew, and soon I was joined by Opie, Bobby, and Chibs. Practically all of us were shouting encouragement and yelling obscenities during the relentless fight. And who could blame us, the excitement crackled in the air like a roaring fire, sweeping any and all in it's range. On top of that, Happy was SAMCRO and we damn well needed something to cheer about.

"Oh!" I cringed when Happy took a hit to the jaw. The fight had been going on for almost fifteen minutes, and everyone was on the edge of their seat. Neither of the men seemed tired, though Murphy was definitely bloodier.

And then it happened. I have no idea what sparked it, but the next thing I knew Happy was throwing solid, hard punches in a series of throws, knocking Murphy completely off balance in a hit right to the temple. He stumbled forward, stumbling over his feet before he finally fell to his knees.

The yells from all the members were so loud you could barely hear the music. Money was being handed off from losers to winners while the rest as several club members helped Murphy to his feet and Happy shook hands with him.

I grabbed one of the first aid kits from under the makeshift bar, standing back to let him be congratulated by his brothers. The high from watching the fight combined with the alcohol, and I found myself admiring the Club Enforcer in a way I probably would be too shy to do sober. Happy was massive, every angle of his broad back and arms chorded with muscle and well defined. The tattoos were hypnotizing. Many and varied, they stained his skin with a complex history that I could not even begin to understand. In this light, the tattoos glistened from the sweat of his skin, some stained with a bit of blood. It took nothing away from their dangerous attraction.

It was only then that I understood why some of the croweaters found him so attractive.

It took a little while for Happy to get through the crowd and make his way over to where I stood with his shirt and a first aid kit dangling from my fingers. "Lookin' for a nurse?"

And with those words, I found myself sitting on the kitchen counter in the club house, actually playing nurse to a tattooed up biker on an adrenaline rush and staring at me like I was his prey. "So I take it you made your point?" I gently dabbed his face with rubbing alcohol, wiping off the blood and sweat while trying not to stare right at his eyes. "Yea, you could say that. Depends if he understood."

I prided myself on not jumping in surprise when his hand slid to my hip. "You going to let me in on the secret or keep me guessing?" I leaned over and took the pack of frozen vegetables that I placed in the sink earlier, gently placing it over his eye. "That gonna be a hell of a shiner."

It took a full minute of feeling my insides knot under his gaze, but I managed. Maybe I was getting used to it or something, but I was definitely more relaxed around him. I met his eyes finally and cocked my head to the side, waiting for him to talk.

"What goes on with you and me, is just for you and me. No one else belongs in this, 'specially no Irish prick. That fuckin' simple. Got that Princess?" He practically growled at me, as if I was the cause of all of it. Well that broke the relaxed mood instantly. I narrowed my eyes and set the frozen vegetables to the side. "Excuse me? First off, I didn't bring anyone into anything. Who are you to accuse me as if any of this is my fault?"

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "Are you really this god damn naive that you didn't realize that he was just prepping to get you in his bed? I fucking told you, I don't play games, never have and ain't gonna start cause you batted those big ass green eyes at some Irish fuck."

"Whoa, whoa." I hopped from the counter and stood right in front of him, shoulders squared and chin pointed. Despite the fact I had almost four inch heels on, he was still a good four or five inches taller than me, but at least I could look him in the eye. "I didn't ask for any of this. And who are you to accuse me of being the one to play games? I can't even go near you without becoming a blushing schoolgirl. I'm freaking terrified of whatever the hell it is with us, and yet I'm the one playing games? You're a giant self-absorbed -"

Whatever I would have said next was completely forgotten when I got pulled into his still bare chest and his lips covered mine. That was all it took to make me practically melt and bend to his will.

"So damn easy to rile up," he murmured against my lips. What a bastard. He was purposely doing wicked things with his mouth so I would have no way to respond.

Even though it was only the second time we kissed, I could sufficiently say that no one had ever kissed me the way he did. The first time was hungry and desperate to fill that void, but this time it was slow, deliberate, and possessive. It was enough to pretty much turn your brain to mush and not care one bit. One hand was buried in my curls and the other one around my waist, holding me close.

My own arms skimmed up his chest and around his neck, only encouraging him further. When he moved his hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up to sit on the counter, a brief warning bell went off in my head, but I ignored it.

I sighed contently, letting him push my jacket off my shoulders, any possible protest silenced as my senses hummed in pleasure and comfort. I will never know how much time passed, but it didn't matter one bit to either of us.

"Holy…" Clay's voice shattered the little world of bliss, forcing Happy and I to break apart, both breathing hard and I will bet my life savings that my face rivaled a tomato. "You gotta be kidding me. Really?"

Happy had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face and just shrugged nonchalantly. "Ain't our fault, you guys took up the main area." I took a napkin and wiped the smeared red lipstick off my mouth and tried to glare at Happy for that, but I was too damn sheepish at being caught and not remembering that this was a public kitchen to do anything more than blush furiously.

When I saw my Godmother in her bathrobe with messy hair and that knowing, mocking smirk, I flat out dropped my head on Happy's shoulder with an embarrassed smile. I prayed that it was only Gemma and Clay that were around, cause I doubted I could handle the others seeing me like this.

Clay looked at both of us for a moment longer and just shook his head while throwing his hands up. "I don't wanna hear it. As long as this doesn't stir up any extra shit, it's your business. Now someone put on a pot of coffee." He walked away, shaking his head, Gemma following a moment later, knowing as ever.

I looked over at Hap, who was shaking in laughter. "How the hell can you be laughing? Those two are like my parents! That was mortifying!" I exclaimed, still red as ever and in disbelief that of all people, they were the ones to walk in.

"Aw what's the matter Princess, don't want anyone to see you with the big bad biker?" He mocked, his hands resting on my waist. I rolled my eyes. "No, I don't want anyone to see me in that situation. That stuff is… private."

His smirk fell from his mouth and he nodded. "I get that." He didn't say anything more, just rubbed my hips quite nicely, though I could tell he was still amused by it all.

I on the other hand sighed, feeling frustratingly content being close to him and knew very well that I was probably going to ruin the moment. "Hap, listen." I grabbed his hands off my waist and held them on top of my thighs, taking a deep breath. "I don't know how long I can do this with you. I know, I KNOW don't give me that look." He already had an exasperated look when I started, and I didn't want him to interrupt before I lost my courage. "I know you said to let things happen as they do, but humor me for one minute and I'll shut up okay?"

He rolled his eyes in frustration and took his hands out of mine to rest on either side of me. "Fine, talk."

God he could be an ass.

"Look, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm all good with 'going with the flow' or whatever kind of hippie bullshit. I'm not, at least not with this. I don't mess around Hap, and I don't plan to ever start. I'm not asking anything of you, but in case you couldn't tell I'm scared beyond anything of this whole thing with us." I bit my lip, not meeting his eyes because if I did I probably wouldn't be able to get the words out. "You're dangerous for me, because I see myself having feelings for you that could break me. I'm not asking for a relationship, or to be an Ol' Lady or anything like that. Just…" Okay deep breath, I needed to do this while I still had liquid courage in me. "Please, if you don't see anything serious with me, we have to stop all of it. I can't keep doing this. As good as it is, and believe me it's really damn good, I'm going to end up with my heart broken." I finally looked up to meet his intense gaze. "And I can't do that to myself," I said softly, my shoulders slumping slightly.

He didn't say anything for a minute or so, just studied me with those veiled espresso eyes that didn't give away anything. I swallowed hard, having no idea what to expect. The sounds of guys at the entrance of the Crag Lounge shifted the intense atmosphere. Crap, they'd be here any minute too. He grasped my hips and lifted me off the counter to set me on the ground. I looked at him curiously when his hands settled on the bare skin between the hem of my shirt and my jeans and squeezed in a very blatant affectionate gesture that took me off guard, even with the light buzz I still had going. "We ain't finished with this. Later." He let go of my waist just as Bobby and Chibs walked into the kitchen.

"Looks like Gemma and Clay finally finished huh?" Bobby said, opening the cupboard and taking out a mug. "Put some coffee on, will ya Angel?" I nodded and started looking for the coffee filters while Happy put on his shirt. "Sure. How's the party out there?" I glanced at the clock in surprise to see it was almost three am. Christ, how long have we been in here?

"Dyin' down slowly. Juice took a sweetbutt to the room 'bout a half hour ago, and half o' SAMBEL is pissed to the dogs and passed out." Chibs downed his whiskey at the wooden table across from the little kitchen. I swore that man drank whiskey like it was water.

"Of course he did. Let me guess, the black and blonde one that was prancing around in a bikini top?"

"Aye that be the one. Skunk haired lass." I laughed, knowing from the conversation in the kitchen that Kelly had her eye on Juice from the start.

Meanwhile, Bobby was looking at me strangely, then back at Happy. "Red's your color brother, brings out your eyes." My eyes flew to Happy in time to watch him wipe away some of my lipstick. Great, now neither of us would ever hear the end of it. Bobby was chuckling when I turned to busy myself with setting out coffee mugs.

"Hey sweetheart, why don't you go and bring us a couple of packs of beers huh? I'll finish this up," Bobby said, winking at me when he saw my red face. I nodded and took the excuse to walk away, but not before I heard Bobby say to Hap, "So did hell freeze over or are you both doped up?"

And that was exactly why I liked to keep my love life private.

"Hey. Everyone in there?" Opie asked, holding a pack of playing cards and a case of poker chips. So that's what the boys had planned to do through their jetlag. "Yup. I'm going to grab some beers for you guys. I'll see you inside."

After I had grabbed the beers, I ran into Kelly, hair disheveled and zipping herself up in a hoodie as she left the clubhouse. I acknowledged her with a nod, holding a six pack in each hand as I made my way back to the guys.

I come into the kitchen/dining room to find Clay sitting at one end with Bobby, Opie, Chibs, Happy, and Juice all sitting at the table dealing cards and chips.

"Where's Jax?" I asked, glancing around, worry coming over my face for a brief moment. "Priest came by and picked him up. He said he'd be back." Opie answered as he dealt the cards out. I nodded and placed one six pack in the fridge and opened up a beer for each of the guys.

"Poker or Spades?" I asked, sliding Clay a beer. "Texas Hold 'Em." I wrinkled my nose, I wasn't that great at poker, though I played a mean game of Spades or Spit.

"Good luck going broke then. Anyone want something to eat? I could make some sandwiches if you're hungry." I saw Happy eye me then, and I discreetly shrugged my shoulders. I had a feeling that he was catching on that when I cooked it was because I needed to think.

"Sure Angel, make us a tray. Gemma's in the shower, but she mentioned being hungry." I nodded, smiling at Clay. He looked so relaxed, definitely the most relaxed I had seen him since I came home. I missed him like this. After my father left to stay here permanently, Clay and Piney both stepped up and looked after me. I loved them both like crazy, and it did my whole soul good to see them happy.

The guys were laughing and talking quickly, all of them relaxed for the first time that day. Something about playing cards and a beer always seemed to calm them down.

I had run up to the kitchen in the apartment to get some fresh bread and sandwich fixings and was making the guys some toasted sandwiches. I loved listening to them play, they got so into the game, but never to the point that it got intensely competitive. It was about who could bullshit the other the most, and frankly it was hilarious to hear them play.

"I'm out for this round. Anyone want some tea?" Bobby pushed himself from his chair just as I popped the sandwiches into the oven. "We're in Ireland one day and you already became a tea drinker?" Clay teased, earning a loud "HEY!" from Chibs. "There's nothin' wrong with tea. Certainly better tastin' than all the coffee ya drink!"

Bobby just shook his head and joined me in the kitchen. "I could make you some tea. I'll just put these away and us both a cup."

"You did enough sweetheart. You clean up, I'll make it for us." Bobby was such a sweetheart. He wasn't the best family man, but he was dedicated to the club and everyone apart of it. I remembered him most for being the guy who would talk to Gemma or my mom whenever I came to him to hide from getting in trouble. To this day, I still called him Uncle Bobby before I could catch myself.

"So," he began, taking out two mugs. "How are you doing?" He glanced over at Happy, who was laughing and bluffing with the others for a moment before looking back at me. I sighed and forced a smile. "I'm fine Bobby don't worry."

"Alright, just askin'. Can't blame me for that darlin'. It's probably the last thing anyone suspected." He washed out the mugs and put on a pot of hot water as I put the cold cuts away in the refrigerator. I didn't respond, what more could I say? This wasn't the stuff I wanted to focus on right now anyways.

"Hey," Gemma stood in her bathrobe in the doorway separating the kitchen from the hallways, smelling showered and fresh.

I smiled at her while wiping down the counter. "Hi Gem. I just popped some sandwiches in the oven, they should be ready soon."

"Thanks." She looked so tired and worried, and hell she had every right to be. It had been such a hellish day that I feared what the rest of this trip had in store for us, and as far away as we were from home we still couldn't escape it.

"How 'bout some tea?" Bobby asked, reaching for another mug. "Sure. Why not?" she said with a sigh. He took the now boiling kettle off the stove and poured us some tea.

"Drive by. Nearly deported." Gemma shook her head, looking for the first time in a long time her age. "This is just day one."

"Heh," Bobby put aside the kettle. "Just another vacation." He handed me my mug and I cupped it in my hands, warming them right up. "I'll take Tahiti any day," I mumbled, blowing on the hot liquid to cool it.

Gemma gave a short chuckle as she stared at her boys and her husband playing poker. I smirked slightly when I saw Happy fold in frustration.

Bobby stirred the tea to let it settle and turned to Gemma. "How you doin'?" He asked, concerned. So was I. I had never seen my Godmother look so torn up by life. She always had the strong face, but it was slipping more and more as of late.

"Okay," was her short answer. "You know we're gonna find the kid," Bobby added reassuringly.

Gemma sighed almost sadly. "I know."

At that moment, the guys got loud as the round ended and Clay let out a sound of victory as he stood up and brought the chips closer to him, smiling and laughing as his brothers gave each other crap about it.

I brought the cup away from my face, laughing a little as Chibs and Happy both teased Juice about his loss. I knew it was strange for many people to wrap their head around, but I loved these men so much. The craziness from the last couple of days really made me understand just how much they do for family and how much they all mean to me. I dreaded the idea that they could die any day because of the life they led, and because of that I clung to my faith in them that they would always come home.

"It's good to see him smile. Good to see them all laughing," Bobby said while we all looked at them. "Clay's a whole different guy when you're not around."

"He really is," I added softly, voicing my thought from earlier out loud.

A pained look flashed across Gemma's face, her eyes never leaving Clay. "You know you're gonna have to take care of him Bobby." She finally turned to look at Bobby, choking slightly on her words. "When I'm gone…" It broke my heart to hear her talk like that. I didn't even want to think about it, and yet Gemma going to jail was a shadow that just wouldn't go away.

"Hey, hey, hey." Bobby's voice lowered to not draw attention to us. "There is no reason to go to the scary place Gemma. We're all right here. We're gonna be alright after this too. Trust me on that." He moved his head into her line of vision to force her to look at him. "Okay?"

I watched Gemma affirm him and accept Bobby's comforting hug, all while still looking at Clay. I looked down at my mug, swallowing hard. I couldn't bear the thought of Gemma possibly getting life in prison, of being away from all of us. I didn't know how any of us could bear it.

The timer on the oven rang, and I put my cup aside and grabbed the tray of warm, delicious smelling sandwiches. "Here babygirl, I'll help you." Gemma waited for Bobby to move aside and got out a plate out so I could put the sandwiches on them.

"You've been an angel through all this. At least I know I'm leaving my boys in the hands of someone that loves them," Gemma said in a low voice, arranging the sandwiches on the tray. "You'll always be there for them right babygirl?"

I looked over my shoulder at the smiling group, feeling a warmth go through me that only happened when I was at home. "Always."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

**I know, the update was supposed to be sooner, but hey at least its only a week late. There was just something about this chapter that I didn't like and I ended up practically rewriting half of it, leaving some scenes for later i.e. the much anticipated scene with McGee. It's tough to remember how weird time passed that season. Anyways, I'm actually quite proud of this chapter, it flowed in my head just as if I was watching it on TV and I like how it translated into the writing. I love learning more about Anna and the others as I write them, it's so intense to have to get into their heads through first person point of view. I loved writing the fight scene, and Anna was just adorable at some parts. Liquid courage is a wonderful thing, and I know I needed it to get through season five!**

**Speaking of the season, I am still reeling from the finale. It was brilliant and tragic and I went through half a bottle of wine just to get through it. Still can't quite get over it and I admit, I haven't seen a lot of it coming.**

**Now, next chapter I hope to have finished in about two weeks, depending on the craziness of the holidays. I have my guy's family coming over and they are quite a unique bunch that might require more of my attention than I want to give. Hopefully, I'll find the time to get to my hideout in the attic and write to my heart's content. If I don't update before then, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!**

**And now, a shout out to all those who favorited and added my story to their alerts, I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Drop a note sometime, I love hearing from my wonderful reviewers.**

**Which brings me to the next point, a HUGE thank you to all my wonderful, amazing, rockin', awesome reviewers. You guys leave me insight that both blows my mind and inspires me, and for that I dedicate this chapter and every chapter to you. Thank you **_**Slytherin Studios, SoLongNotGoodnight, LadySaphire, HermioneandMarcus, SilverAdvenger12, HapsOldLadyLove, Venetiangrl92, Arowley, Rozale, Leon's Angel, aussietrueblue, MuckyShroom, bethymarie05, and AngieInWonderland. **_

**I responded to you all in PM, and now for those I either couldn't respond to via PM or to those that I tried responding to but kept getting some weird error from Fanficition at the time.**

**Brightminds.2o11:**** Ahh I saw the video on the SOA facebook page. I cried too, and even my best guy friends teared up a bit. I loved Opie's beard, it was the best beard ever! I'm so glad you like this story and I hope you like this chapter as well! I still had a wistful moment now and then, but it's getting better.**

**DarkChild18:**** Okay so I postponed updating a little bit, but not as long as before right? I'm a perfectionist, we take time lol. If I had been in Anna's place, oh man I don't know what I would have done. McGee is a complex character because he's a sincere character that has his priorities mixed up. His priorities are just as messed up with his family life as they are with the club, which is kind of why I like this dynamic of throwing Anna in there. Personally though, I have no love lost to him, and am counting down to when Anna finally blows up, cause come on we all know it will probably happen. And ha! You are one of the few people that caught Happy's possessive moment with Anna, congrats! And now you got to see how it played out. Thanks so much for reviewing, I hope to hear more of your insight.**

**Wrestlenascargirl:**** That fight scene was so much fun to write. For some reason, it stood out in my mind in that episode. We all know that Happy loves a good fight, and when I watched the episode and saw him fighting some Irish dude, I thought it would be perfect to give it all some context. So I guess you were right, he sort of staked claim on Anna in a weird, very much Happy kind of way. I can't wait to hear your take on this chapter! Thanks again for being awesome and reviewing!**

**Had Enough:**** Because you disabled Private Messaging, I'll address your concern here. While I understand the frustration of spoilers, I generally wait an appropriate amount of time before I mention anything, in this case the episode aired almost two months ago, and according to readers and friends I have in both the UK, Canada, and in some cases even as far as Poland, whether they get the season or not, many were already aware of the events of the season because of social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter. Anyone that follows the cast members on Twitter would have learned the events of the season. While I understand the frustration of having a spoiler given away, it's rather unrealistic and, in my personal opinion, immature to have everyone cater to your needs because you had not heard anything, and majority of people have. To those that do not want any spoilers whatsoever, it's their responsibility to avoid all outlets of social media, entertainment news, or anywhere that they may stumble across news of the current season, one of them being fanfiction based on an ongoing seasons. **

**There have been many times where I spoke of my feelings on the seasons or the current season in the authors note, and I imagine, and in a few cases confirmed, that all the amazing readers I have from overseas were well aware of that from the start, assuming they read author's notes to begin with. I understand that as a writer, I have certain responsibilities to my readers, which I take very seriously, but I feel that responsibility extends to assuming my readers are smart enough that after 17 chapters in the course of a year and a half, they are able to discern the fact that I do make notes of my feelings on the events of the current season, therefore if they did not watch the season they won't read it.**

**So yes, there are times where I get frustrated because I did not see the newest episode of 'The walking Dead' and I happen to come across a status on facebook that contains a major spoiler, or I see someone I follow on Twitter mention it, but I fully acknowledge that it was my fault. If I didn't want a spoiler, I should have avoided any and all places spoilers might be posted. I prefer to take personal responsibility rather than blame the other person for not catering to those that haven't watched the show, whatever the reason may be. I feel that many people who are upset by spoilers don't take personal responsibility in keeping themselves from stumbling upon them. In short, while I understand where you're coming from, I respectfully disagree.**

**...**

**And that is all folks. I look forward to reading your insight on the chapter and look forward even more to finishing the next one! Thank you all so much for reading, and stay tuned, I solemnly swear to not make you wait long. Now that Season five is finished, I get my SOA fix in this story, and I love it.**

**Happy Holidays everyone!**

**-Daria**


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